Last time:

"Don't turn around, love. It will all make sense once."

Whoever this person was, I trusted him. I sighed softly and smiled.

"That's my girl."

I smiled even wider. At that moment, all that mattered for me was to not wake up.

"Hermione Jean Granger, if you don't get up this second, I personally will drag you from the bed and tickle you, until you beg for death."

So much for what I wish for. I opened up my eyes. I was at Burrow, sleeping over, my best friend Ginny Weasley yelling at me from downstairs. We might seem too old to have sleepovers, but we still enjoyed it. I always liked waking up with Ginny on the next bed, in a messy room filled up with clothes, make-up and shoes, giggling about our awkward moments. But this time it was different.

"I'm coming!" I yelled back, but without any smile. Gentle touch on my naked shoulder, voice whispering in my ear, comfort, safety...the memory of my dream hit me, whole pain of waking up literally made me gasp and I fell back on bed. I was so hoping I will not wake up. Don't get me wrong, I loved my life it's just that lately I felt so empty. Something was missing in my life. And I couldn't figure out what. I had an amazing boyfriend, great friends, parents who respected me. What else to wish for? I thought it was because I couldn't find a job. I still owned the title ,Brightest witch of our age' but although there were many open places, none of those jobs seemed interesting to me. Thinking about this kind of stuff so early always caused me headache and today was no exception. So I dropped this topic and started my day.

I somehow managed to get dressed, still thinking about my dream. I finally left the room, getting downstairs, when I suddenly heard a voice coming out from someone's room. Ron's room. I was never keen on eavesdropping but I came closer and listened.

"Why, Ron, of course she will say yes. You two have been dating for ages, it's about time you ask that big question!" I heard Ginny excited voice. "Come on; show it to me...By the Merlin, it's huge! She will love it, don't worry."

I took a few steps back, deeply in shock. I hit the wall and my back started to protest but I didn't care. Ron?! Ron wants to ask me to marry him?! I should have known. We have been dating since the death of Voldemort, but I couldn't help noticing the quick beat if my heart. And it was not from happiness. It was from panic. It was too soon, it was too quick, I was not ready.

"Snap out of it, Granger," I told myself "You love Ron, so why should you not be married to him. Everybody says you are a great couple."

I thought about that. Maybe that was the problem. Everyone was expecting us to get together and now they expect us the get married. Was I with Ron all those years just because everyone thought I should? That cannot be true. I tried to imagine a beautiful summer day, organ music and wedding bells. Me in long, snow-white dress, walking down the aisle. Ron in a handsome suit, waiting for me at the altar. At this image, I felt like someone punched me into stomach. This was not right.

The door suddenly opened and I was facing both Ginny and Ron. I faked a smile, so they won't suspect me from eavesdropping. Ginny reacted sooner than Ron

"Well hello, Sleeping Beauty! You finally got up!"

I laughed. "I'm sorry Gin, but you know how I adore my relationship with sleeping."

She nodded and giggled.

"Should I start to jealous?" asked Ron with a big smile. He pulled me closer to him and kissed me on my cheek. Normally I would blush with happiness. Now I blushed, because I did not feel anything moving inside me.

"Good morning to you, too," I said sarcastically to hide how nervous I was.

"You look amazing today. Really," he flattered me quietly.

"You look pretty smashing yourself, Ronald," I whispered.

"Look at you two. You look great Hermione, no you look great Ron. And what am I? Bowl of cereal?!" exclaimed Ginny, faking an insulted voice. Ron laughed and he finally let me out of his arms. He walked forward to his younger sister, gave her a big kiss on forehead and hugged her tightly.

"Sorry Ginny," I smiled.

A quick nod ensured me, she forgave me. I continued in my way downstairs, pretending I didn't hear Ginny's annoyed hiss: "What are you waiting for Ronald-Coward? Ask her out!"

I started to make breakfast. I was just leaning up for dishes, when I felt somebody hugging me from behind. This simple touch made me think again about my dream, the loss of safety I felt there made my heart skip a few beats.

"'Mione?"

Another memory of my dream, except that this time, I was able to match the voice.

"Yes, Ron?" I asked.

"I was wondering...what do you think about a dinner tonight?"

My heart began to beat in panic. No, please not today. Why do we have to rush into this? My mother once told me: "When it comes to love, always trust your heart." But I was just like my father and as usually, I decided to trust my mind instead of my heart. And my mind was telling me that Ron is a good choice. I turned around, smiled and kissed him.

"That sounds like a great idea."

xxx

"This is such a bad idea!"

My heart kept telling this to me few hours later the same day. I was waiting for Ron at Diagonal Alley. I was supposed to be shaking in excitement. Becoming Ron's wife sounded nice. Mrs. Weasley. Mrs. Hermione Weasley. I felt sick once again. Thankfully (or unfortunately) Ron finally came. I smiled as he hugged me, whispered "Hey, sweetheart," and kissed me. I broke the kiss first, still keeping a smile, which I hoped, was at least a bit convincing.

"Hey Ron. I heard fantastic news about this new machine. It's called clock."

Ron laughed, not a bit ashamed.

"Sorry, honey. I was making some last arrangements about our dinner. I want everything to be perfect."

Oh, Ron, why do you have to be so sweet? You are just making this harder. I took his hand and held it tightly. A little spark shined in his eyes. We stood there for a few moments.

"I wish this moment would last forever."

It was not such a great moment, but anyway it was very nice used cliché. I sighed. Ron misread it: "Oh, where are my manors? There is a great dinner waiting for us, let's go!"

We disapparated into some restaurant I wasn't familiar with. I had no idea where we were but it seemed...well, beautiful is a weak word. It was obvious it is a wizard restaurant. The food came on guest's tables' right after they ordered. In a second. The whole building seemed to be high above ground; London was just some black hole with little sparks. Floor was made of white marble and every single decoration was purely golden. Perfect place for a perfect date. At first, everything went well. I remember that I started to feel more and more comfortable. Not that the idea of me and Ron married seemed better, I just thought he won't ask me today. I thought I could spend some more time with my Ron, my best friend, in an uncomplicated relationship. I drank some Champaign and simply smiled. And that's when it went wrong. Ron got that "Serious talk" look. He grabbed my hand.

"Hermione, I..."

I panicked. Pure panic. This was the moment. And I was not ready. I jumped on my feet.

"I have to use the restroom," I mumbled and quickly headed to the ladies room. Once I got there, all I was able to think about was "How am I going to escape this?" Perhaps I could climb out of the window. Now when I think about my behaviour, I can't help laughing. The restaurant was hundreds of feet's above London and I didn't even think about apparating. I climbed to the window and I stopped.

"Hermione Jean Granger, you coward, what the hell are you doing?" I snapped at myself. What's outside? Freedom, yes, but also memories of a broken man behind me. I had to stay. A painful conversation was about to begin, but at least I could end it with honour and stay friends with Ron. I took a deep breath and slowly came back to restaurant.

I almost started to regret my decision as I saw Ron again. Not him personally, mostly his hand, rubbing the pocket on his trousers. It was a bit crooked, like...like it was hiding something. Box with engagement ring. He saw me and gave me a nervous smile. I couldn't force my muscles to smile. And it must have reflected on my face, because Ron stood up with a caring look on his face. I couldn't stand it. Before I knew, I run directly into his arms, holding him tight as if I was drowning.

"Oh, Ron. I know what you want to ask me. I know everything," I got out of me through sobs. I could feel him freezing, but I held him even tighter.

"Please don't. I know it sounds terrible and I hate, that I'm causing you pain but please. I'm not ready. I...I can't. But I also don't want to lose you. Please. I...I...," I was drowning in tears, unable to tell him more. I wanted to tell him, how much I love him, how I want us to be friends as we always were. Ron, obviously, couldn't handle it. He took me in his arms and tried to calm me down. I felt terrible. I broke his heart and he is comforting me.

"Shh, Hermione, please don't cry. Shh, darling, please."

He was crying, I could tell. But he tried to stay strong. He looked at me and smiled.

"I know. Hey, I get it. If you are not ready, it's okay. I love you so much, I don't mind waiting."

I caught my breath.

"No...Ron, I...I am not sure if I can take this relationship anymore. You are my best friend and it should have stayed that way. I am so sorry. I love you and I'm sorry."

I hate myself so much. That was the only thought in my head few hours later. Ron acted like a perfect gentleman, he promised me he's not angry and he let me go. I didn't miss my boyfriend Ron. I missed my best friend Ron. He said this won't affect our friendship, but I knew it would never be like it used to be.

Yey, first chapter! :3 Hope you like it. Reviews are my life :)
Betty xxx