Derpies in Fairy Tail #42
Collaboration Fanfiction: lionstar77 (Maddie), amberleaf4100 (Taffy/Tiffany), Epixnezz101 (Emma), WarriorHorse7 (Hanna)
Chapter 7- Guild Meetings-Quatro Cerberus, Mermaid Heel, and Lamia Scale
"Do I really want to go in there?" Maddie asked, sighing, as she switched back into her human form, letting Emma plop to the floor with a thump. Hanna began nudging her twin with her foot, and Tiffany bent down, and began jabbing Emma's face. Tiffany pulled out a marker, but before she could do anything, the guild doors burst open and a couple of Quatro Cerberus guild members walked out. Hanna immediately leapt up, letting out a cry of "WILD!".
The reaction was simultaneous. The two (whom Tiffany whispered into Maddie's ear was Nobarly and Warcry) shouted back.
"FOUR!" They yelled, throwing their arms up into the air.
"How do you know our guild chant?" Warcry asked, confused as he stared at Hanna and the two girls (Tiffany and Maddie) who were sitting on Emma's limp body. His only response was strange looks from the three girls.
"How do you not?" Maddie said, rubbing her temples. "Hanna and Emma kept yelling it back in 6th grade..." Tiffany smacked her in the back of her head.
"What she means is." Tiffany said, glaring lightly (A/N in other words a death glare) at Maddie. "Is that you guys always shouted it, and whoever's even been to the Grand Magic Games should know."
"Oh... that makes sense..." Nobarly trailed, causing Tiffany to facepalm and sigh.
"Are you here to join our guild?" Warcry asked, painfully oblivious to the fact that Hanna had a Fairy Tail guild mark on her right arm, Maddie had the guild mark on her collarbone (which was exposed), Emma had it on her wrist, and Tiffany had it not only on her arm, but fabricated onto her cloak as well.
"In case you didn't notice." Tiffany said sarcastically. "We're all from Fairy Tail. I thought dog's noses were supposed to be good." The two's hackles immediately rose at her comment.
"Don't mind her!" Hanna shouted, trying to make her voice heard over their growling. "She's always this rude to everyone!" Seeing that nobody paid attention to this, Tiffany poked Maddie on the arm.
"That's your cue." Tiffany said. "Distraction time." Maddie glared at her.
"He- heyy!" She sputtered. "Why do I have to do it?"
"Because you're our official distraction." Tiffany and Hanna replied simultaneously. Maddie sighed, as if this whole thing caused her great pain.
"Animal Soul:" The girl muttered. "Dog." A cloud of smoke covered Maddie, and once it was gone, it revealed a smaller-than-usual Shiba Inu. Eyes immediately turned to her. Without another word, Maddie was scooped up by Nobarly, and the two immediately rushed back into the guild. Hanna followed at a much slower pace, while Tiffany re-quipped, a chain into her hand, and once again began dragging Emma against the bumpy stone road.
As they entered the guild, a series of barks and howls greeted them. Tiffany and Hanna fought to repress snickers, as the watched Maddie getting poked and prodded by the Guild members. At this moment, Emma decided to wake up.
"Where the hell-" Emma started to ask. Hanna leaned over and whispered into her ear and told her what had been going on.
Meanwhile, Tiffany had headed over to the Guild Bar.
"May I please get 3 glasses of Apple Juice?" Tiffany asked 'sweetly', as a murderous aura began to leak out from her. The bartender could only nod nervously, gulping as he hurriedly filled the three glasses with what Tiffany had requested. The girl carried the glasses over, and the three girls sat there, watching Maddie get molested by men who were dressed in dog costumes. At one point, Maddie got so pissed that she bit a guy's nose, causing the poor guy to run off whimpering. Hanna, Tiffany, and Emma burst into laughter, no longer able to hold it in. The guild turned silent, as all turned towards the girls who were clutching at their stomachs, howling with laughter.
"Oh, don't mind us." Hanna laughed, trying to keep her apple juice steady.
"Aye~" Emma agreed, laughing her ass off as she tried to wipe the spilled apple juice off of herself.
"Go back to what you were doing." Tiffany snickered. "You know, molesting our friend and everything."
"Dammit! Help me! You're just being fucking malicious!" Maddie howled, pawing Quatro Cerberus members away.
"I feel like it's trying to say something…" One of them trailed.
"Yes. I'm actually a human, so get your MITTS OFF OF ME!" Maddie wailed. The poor girl couldn't take it anymore, hopping out of their grasps, she stood on 4 paws and transformed in a puff of smoke.
"Dog girl!?" One of them gasped. Tiffany, Emma and Hanna fell off the table they were sitting on once again, rolling on the ground with laughter. Maddie's transformation failed- she still had Shiba Inu ears, a tail, and canine teeth.
"FRICK!" She screeched, now whining like a puppy.
"She's so cute!" Another member called out, reaching towards the girl.
"FUCK YOU GUYS! I'M ACTUALLY GONNA GET FUCKING ACTUALLY MOLESTED NOW!"
"Your problem, not ours." Hanna said, wiping her eyes from laughing.
"Oh my god, I don't know what's going on, but this is amazing." Emma said, still laughing.
"Somebody fucking help meee!" Maddie wailed as the guild members creeped closer and closer towards her.
"SASSY DOLPHIN!" Hanna cried from her spot on the ground, unable to stand up from all the laughing. Emma and Tiffany were besides her in similar states. Maddie cursed once more, and immediately dashed out the door and scrambling up a tree.
"Well, that escalated quickly." Hanna said, wanting to laugh but physically couldn't because her sides ached so much. At this moment, the rest of the guild seemed to realize that they were here.
"What are you guys here for?" Someone (whom Tiffany identified as Rocker) barked. Tiffany sighed, suppressing her snickers now that her entertainment had been taken away, and chucked a file at the man.
"Give this to your Master." The girl said simply, "April 10th, all the guilds that were in the Grand Magic Games are going to be there."
"And why should we go?" Bacchus asked drunkenly, swinging around his jug of wine. "Anything worth our time?"
"Well." Emma shrugged, still giggling a bit. "There'll be free food and booze-"
"We're in!" Warcry shouted. "Because our soul is always WILD…"
"FOUR!" The rest of the guild chorused. Hanna and Tiffany glared at Emma, who raised her hands in defense.
"What?" She asked.
"Do you know what you just fucking did?" Tiffany asked, sending the girl a death glare.
"You just promised a guild that we would give them as much food and drinks as they want. You think we can get enough food for everyone that's coming?" Emma immediately paled at the thought.
"Oh shizzz." She said. Tiffany sighed, before taking out her marker of doom and writing on her arm.
"Welp." Tiffany sighed in exasperation. "Add that to the list of preparations."
~At Mermaid Heel~
After getting Maddie down from her 'tree of safety', the girls headed over to Mermaid Heel. As they stood at the guild door, Tiffany pulled out the folder that contained the blackmail and information for Mermaid Heel.
"Okay." Tiffany began. "We are not going to do anything that's going to offend them-"
"I don't want to hear that coming from you." Maddie commented, still shuddering at the thought of the Quatro Cerberus member's defilement of her.
"Oh shut up." Tiffany said. "Anyway, we're going to go in there, give them this folder, and walk out. Like we SHOULD'VE been doing at these various guilds."
"I have a question!" Emma said, raising her hand high into the air.
"What is it?" Hanna sighed, pulling out her pen and playing with it (but still dropping it every 5 seconds).
"Where does Tiffany even get and keep her blackmail?"
"You." Tiffany replied simply. "Do not need to know that. I think you should all know that I also have files on you guys too…"
"You what?! Why!?"
"Because." Tiffany said. "Haven't you heard the quote 'to deceive your enemies you must first deceive your friends'? Well, it went something like that, anyways."
"NO ONE SAYS THAT! THEY SAY 'Be close to your friends, be even closer to your enemies.'! You jerk." Emma huffed.
"You realize that those are two completely different quotes we're talking about." Tiffany deadpanned, as Hanna and Maddie watched the two of them bicker.
Suddenly, a crash was heard from within the Mermaid Heel guild.
"HOLY- WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?" Emma cried looking over at the guild terrified, as she ducked behind her sister, trying to hide. Maddie also did the same thing, however stepping behind Tiffany.
"Are you just trying to make me feel short?!" Hanna yelled, stepping sideways, revealing an Emma that had curled into a ball.
"I don't like loud crashing sounds. It's only okay when its us wrecking havoc." Emma sobbed, curling tighter and tighter into a ball.
"Holy shit Hanna, Emma has became even more of a coward since 7th grade."
"You noticed." Tiffany drawled sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "Come on, let's go see what it is."
"I don't want to go in there Taffy-Chan!" Emma whined, waving a white flag as tears rolled down her cheeks.
"Fine then." Tiffany shrugged, pushing open the guild door. "You can stay out here… where Ichiya might be able to find you." With that, Emma sprung up and raced into the guild hall, pushing aside Maddie and Hanna as she rushed to safety.
The inner hall of Mermaid Heel was a complete and utter disaster. Dresses and makeup covered the floors, and Kagura was standing in the middle of the room as the rest of the guild members gave her a makeover. Tiffany blanched, and immediately tried to back out of the room, but Maddie, Hanna, and Emma were blocking the way.
And then, Milianna noticed her.
"Oh my gosh!" The cat-girl gasped. "She looks just like Kagura!"
"When I start to cry and wave my flag. You run like hell." Emma whispered, getting ready for her acting skills (A/N Which are nonexistent) to take place.
"But you do that all the time!" Hanna whispered back.
"Just go with it!" Emma said. Milianna's Nekōsoku Tube came flying towards them, and Emma immediately collapsed to the ground in tears, waving her white flag back and forth in surrender. The other three girls immediately bolted, Emma right behind them. However, they didn't get very far before the orange tube snagged all of their ankles, and slowly dragged them back to where Kagura was standing, covered with layers of dresses, makeup and perfume.
"We could do so much with these two!" Araña cooed, pulling Tiffany to sit in a chair next to Kagura, as she casually tossed Emma, Maddie, and Hanna to the side.
"What the hell…?" Maddie asked, as she wriggled around, trying to break free of her restraints. Emma looked up as her fake tears dried, only to see herself wrapped in orange ropes. However, nobody paid any attention to the three, they were already busy shoving Tiffany into outfit after outfit, and putting layers of makeup on her.
Finally, the girls decided on a dark-purple dress, that was (as Tiffany would've called it if her mouth had not been taped shut after letting out a dam of swear words) 'as frilly as hell'.
"It's perfect!" Milianna exclaimed. "Come on Betsy, help me do their hair. KITTY-STYLE!" Kagura sighed softly at Milianna's antics.
"Mil." She said calmly. "I think braiding flowers into our hair would do."
"OH HELL FUCKING NO!" Tiffany screeched, managing to get the duck tape off herself. "YOU WILL NOT BRAID FUCKING FLO-" The roaring girl was cut off, as Risly stuck another piece of duct tape onto Tiffany's mouth.
"Man, this one's a loud one." Araña commented, as she walked back into the room carrying a bouquet of various purple flowers. "However, we'll forgive her, since she looks so much like Kagura." A muffled yell was her only response.
Hanna, Emma, and Maddie stared on with wide eyes.
"I'm not sure-" Maddie whispered to Hanna. "Whether I should be laughing my ass off, or severely creeped out from seeing Tiffany in a frilly, purple dress."
"I know right…" Hanna agreed. "It's like that moment when you see someone you hate steal her strawberries…"
"Aww, but I want a flower crown too." Emma whined.
"They said they were going to braid flowers into their hair, not give them flower crowns."
"So? I still want a flower crown."
"Since Tiffany is currently being tortured, I will say for her: Shut the hell up."
"Ugh fine. At least your impression of her is good." A cry of 'what the hell is that supposed to mean?' came across the room, as Risley had removed the duct tape on Tiffany's mouth to apply make up. The girl was squirming around, making it hard on the poor girl. So Millianna was forced to bind Tiffany even further. At this point, the only thing the girl could move was her mouth, which she used to spout some… very colorful language.
At last, the colorful (and fabulous!) session had ended. Maddie, Hanna, and Emma had been freed from their bonds, and Tiffany- who had changed back to her regular clothes and washed off all of her makeup (but not after the guild got some pictures), still kept her hair up, as that was the only way she could persuade Mermaid Heel to come to the festival.
As the girls began traveling against the roads again, mainly staying silent as no one wished to anger Tiffany any further, said demon began plucking the flowers out of her hair.
"I am fine with the hairdo itself." The irritated demon grumbled. "But the flowers shall be killed." Emma scrambled around, trying to pick up the fallen blossoms, before sticking them into her own hair.
"Emma." Maddie deadpanned. "They don't look good on you at all."
"Stop judging meeeee. I wanted a flower crown and now I shall get one!" Emma whined, continuing to place flowers in her hair.
"Anyways, who's next on the list?" Maddie asked, looking at Tiffany and Hanna.
"Lamia Scale, I believe." Hanna said suddenly, as the guild hall was coming into view.
"Can somebody get me some tape or somethin'?" Emma asked, trying to keep a flower crown she made together. Hanna sighed and took it from her and put it on a rock. She wrote and enchantment and the crown was in a tight knot.
"Hehe, vee~." Emma said, putting the crown on her head as Maddie and Tiffany facepalmed in sync.
"Emma doesn't know how to tie good knots apparently, its gonna fall apart anyways..." Growled Maddie, stealing the crown and disassembling it. Her 3 friends watched in surprise as she put it all down on the rock. She began tying the tiny strands into complicated knots.
"How the hell are you smart enough to do that!?" Emma gasped. Maddie kicked her ankle.
"My grandpa made me learn. Damn that man and his missing finger..." Maddie growled. "They're boat knots." (A/N: Yes, Maddie's real grandpa is missing a finger, and yes, he did make her learn boat knots. It was dreadful. She can also operate motor boats and one type of small sailboat due to his shenanigans.)
"Boat knots?" Asked Tiffany. "Thanks for telling us."
"Yes, because I don't trust you with information, little Mrs. Blackmail..." Emma hid behind Hanna.
"B-boat…. knots?" Emma stuttered (A/N: Emma has a severe fear of boats), Hanna facepalmed, stepping away from Emma.
"Can you not be a coward for once in your life?" Hanna growled, Emma shrugged and went back to trying to steal back her flower crown from Maddie.
After that flower crown incident was over and settled (as Tiffany had gotten pissed at them chasing each other around she chopped the flowers into little bits), they saw the doors to the Lamia Scale guild hall.
"Ok, so I guess it's my time to go in first?" Hanna said, consulting the band of misfits she was apart of.
"SACRIFICE!" Tiffany yelled, as she opened the door and shoved Hanna in and closed it. A blue light flashed from the cracks of the door, and the three girls peaked in hesitantly.
Hanna was frozen in a gigantic ice cube right in front of them, as the guild members of Lamia scale's jaws hung open.
"I told you I could make an ice cube like Gray ca-" Lyon began, turning over and seeing he trapped Hanna in there.
"Oh god!" He yelled, running over and shaking the cube. "I'm sorry, strange teenage girl! I DIDN'T MEAN ITTT!" He yelled, grabbing his head and pushing his temples.
"Eh..." Maddie trailed foo unsurely, as Tiffany and Emma started laughing.
"OH MY FUCKING DORITO GODS!" Emma laughed, falling onto the floor.
"THE SHIP HAS SAILED!" Tiffany yelled, cackling as she thought of Banana-chan (Hanna) and Gray.
"Umm... she'll get frostbite... and die..." Maddie muttered as her friends laughed. The girl could only sweatdropped and walk over. "I have a heart, unlike you two..."
Lyon was desperately shaking the giant cube.
"Step aside..." Maddie sighed in exasperation. "Hanna, you owe me one..."
"Animal Soul: Platypus!" Maddie commanded, as the pink smoke fluttered and a duck bill appeared on her face. Tiffany and Emma now lost it, rolling on the floor.
Maddie growled. "Platypus Light: Silver Blast!" She ordered, a shining silver ball flying out of her bill and hitting the ice-cube. Part of it shattered off, leaving a large crack.
"Nuuu! Maddie! Leave her in thereeee!" Whined Emma.
"She's gonna fucking die!" Maddie replied angrily, stomping her foot.
"Do it again, Miss!" called Sherry, running over and shaking Maddie's shoulders.
"I'm getting more embarrassed than she is..." Maddie grumbled.
"Nah, she's stuck in an icecube. It's much worse!" Tiffany cackled.
"Platypus Light: Silver Blast!" Maddie repeated twice, finally splitting the cube into two.
"Why not use a 'golden blast' to finish it quicker?" asked Emma, still giggling.
"Because I'd pass out, you heartless piece of shit," She hissed. "You fucking know that too."
Emma laughed, falling onto her back.
"Dude I can't breathe!"
"Do you need a... breathing machine?" Tiffany asked, laughing besides Emma maniacally. (A/N: Inside joke between the authors. Ignore this.)
"O-h-hh.. o-oh my god..." Emma managed to reply between laughs. "Y-e-s!"
"Anyways," Yuka said, walking up, "Who are you girls?"
"They just came and I accidentally froze one of them solid..." Lyon mumbled as Maddie, Emma and Tiffany bickered.
"No offence Maddie, but there's no way you'll be able to break that up only with silver blasts. You need a gold one since you're so weak," Tiffany said. "Weaklings gotta give it all they got. Especially with you."
"I love you too, Tiffany. And I'm trying my best. I'm not gonna sacrifice my consciousness for this shit," Maddie replied sarcastically.
"Wait, wait, wait, Can I try? She is my twin after all?" Emma asked raising her hand high after her laughing fit subsided.
"No, you can't." Maddie said looking at her.
"Wait. TWIN?!" Lyon said in shock.
"Well, that still doesn't answer my question." Yuka said, slightly annoyed.
"I'm Maddie, that's Tiffany and Hanna. Oh, and the other one is Emma," Maddie replied.
"So I've been downgraded to 'other one'?" Emma asked.
"Yes, the other one. Tiffany, got any ideas?"
"Hey wait," Lyon said, "Didn't you say something about a pair of twins?"
"E'yup," Emma said, grinning, "Hanna and I are twins."
"Ok, so basically Lyon just froze your twin sister…" Sherry said, trying to comprehend what has going on.
"But where are you from, and why are you here?" Toby said, walking up to the group.
"We're from Fairy Tail," Tiffany explained getting right to the point as she didn't give a damn about what else was going on around her. "We're holding a celebration with all the guild that participated in the GMG come."
"IT WAS MY IDEA!" Emma cried for a minute, before being slapped by Tiffany and went dejectedly back to helping her sister break free from Lyon's ice clutches.
"Uh, Lyon, can't you do something about that…?" Maddie asked, watching Emma struggle with her bullets.
"Oh, right." Lyon said, making the ice cube evaporate and Hanna land on the ground.
"S-s-s-so c-c-c-c-cold…" She said, trying to warm herself. "Taffy-chan, please give me your cloak."
"Nuuu! I want the capeeeeeee~!" Emma whined, shaking her arms wildly, as both twins stared pathetically at Tiffany and her long, warm, and not to mention badass cloak. The girl only laughed maniacally at the twins, wrapping the cloak tighter around herself.
"Nah." Tiffany teased. "You guys'll be fine… maybe."
"I have a cape too... except it's my size (which is tiny) and not as badass as Tiffany's..." Maddie pointed out. "Wait, but- I'm totally pissed at Emma."
Maddie tossed her cloak to Hanna, who pitifully wrapped it around herself. The cloak was not nearly as warm as Tiffany's, but it was better than nothing.
"Thanks." She said, standing up.
"Let's get back to the guild. There are two fire mages that I can force to warm you up there," Tiffany said.
"Two? I thought it was only Natsu?" Emma asked.
"Romeo, dipwad," Maddie replied. This confirmed Emma's secret suspicions... Maddie was going to be cold and bitter to her until an outer force cheered her up.
"Anyways, we should still start heading back," Hanna said, "Thanks for freezing me I guess."
"I'm sorry!" Lyon said, going back to sulk in his corner as Sherry laughed her ass off.
"We'll be there." Toby cheered, waving them off as they walked out of the guild hall.
Abrupt ending, but we have to end it there. I believe we shall now update on Saturdays (if the new chapter is ready), and if that doesn't happen, the next Wednesday at the very latest.
Next chapter is Sabertooth- and shall be posted... soon.