Sehai Kun
"Sehai Kun, Sehai Kun!"
"What's the matter Sephiroth Kun?"
"I can't get Cloud to pay attention to me! He's so obsessed with that damn flower girl even after I killed her and now all his friends I don't know what to do!"
"You're so hopeless Sephiroth Kun" a knife was dropped into the ground "romance maker kit! Just kill everyone else on the planet so he'll have to pay attention to you."
"Of course" said Sephiroth brightening up.