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With your help

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"I've never seen a stable cleaned by a King." Ser Rodrik has always been a frightening figure for him. He was master at arms of Winterfell and has always given him, Robb and Theon tough looks of a strict teacher. He is a strict teacher. Jon reminded himself all those bruises, which he had earned in training. But now, Ser Rodrik was beyond being awkward. He had insisted last night to spend it in stable with him because Lady Catelyn had ordered him to sleep there. Lord Stark had told him the truth. Jon knew but both of them decided to not to talk about it. But now, from nowhere, Ser Rodrik was talking about it because he had seen the wound. Lord Stark had told him to guard him. Jon knew this too. Last night Jon had succeeded in shrugging him off but now this was impossible.

"Now tell me Jon, how you got this?" He pointed toward the loosely wrapped cloth around his hand, which had soaked in blood but now was hard and dry. Jon did not answer that, just looked toward him with the usual annoying looks of teenagers for making their elders at fault. But it never swayed Ser Rodrik. He just leaned more closely.

"Jon! You were there when Lord Stark told me and Maester Luwin about…

…and you've listened what he had ordered us. To protect you and this secret at all costs. And you're not helping." Jon did not answer him again just started working again. Ser Rodrik caught him before he could have bent to pull the sack of fodder onto his shoulder.

"You do not have to do this. Give me that." He pulled the cord from his hands.

"You're the master at arms, Ser. Don't you have something else to do like training new recruits or instructing the castle guards. We're at war." Jon tried everything to not to be looked so annoyed.

"Yes! I've those tasks too but My Lord has instructed me to prioritize this duty on my own life." Ser Rodrik lowered his voice to a whisper. "Beside, Protecting a King is a hard obligation so I've given all other errands to Jory." Ser Rodrik grinned after whispering carefully and Jon just shook his head in disapproved manner.

"Please don't do this Ser. I'm fine; I swear it by the old and new. Your actions are just dragging unwanted attention." He tried once again, and this time with a solid base but Ser Rodrik was just being Ser Rodrik.

"Alright, then tell me how you got this?" He asked again.

"I told you for the hundredth time. It was the stable's door. Look!" He pointed toward the rusty hook of the door. Ser Rodrik just stared at him for one minute and then whispered in a grudged tone.

"Your wound had emerged from something very sharp like a sword or a knife and it needs stitching before the bleeding starts again. But you're not telling the truth and you're also not going to Maester Luwin either for its proper dressing." This time Ser Rodrik used his strict teacher's pitch.

He is getting tired of this. Jon told himself. And soon he will leave me alone. Maybe all those people will leave me alone after getting tired. After knowing who I am. All people would but not King Robert and not his loyal Bannermen like Lord Jon Arryn, Lord Tywin Lannister and off course Lord Stark.

Even the irony of the situation would not be forgotten when King Robert will come to know about me and will order Lord Stark to kill me. Jon hated himself for it. He knew Lord Stark and he knew how much it would be difficult for him, but at the end, this will be his only option.

"I will go to Maester after cleaning this." Jon said in assuring tone. "Right on, you can go to your duties." And Ser Rodrik just shrugged him and pulled the sack over his shoulder.

"You're a willful boy, Jon Snow. I remembered your mother. She was the same. And No! I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me the truth." Jon was about to argue when Stable's door creaked and Maester Luwin entered.

"Lord Robb has returned and is asking for you." Maester Luwin informed them and returned as swiftly as he came. Something was wrong.

Jon followed Maester Luwin but stopped at the door after listening harsh voices from inside.

"I'm asking, how you can even do that. He is my brother. Not some stable boy servant to be expelled from castle without any notice. It has not been a single night since father's departure and you've come to your extreme point of hatred." Robb was clearly not listening to his mother, who had surprisingly calmed voice on such behavior of her son.

"Robb! I know I shouldn't have done this. And I am going to apologize." She was surely talking about him but damn, her voice was soft and… apologetic. Jon couldn't believe on his ears. Last night the same Lady was going to kill him. But obviously they were not talking about that part. How can they?

"Mother, you know what I have decided as my first duty after being the lord of Winterfell?" Robb had a warning tone. "I will legitimize Jon. I will make him my full brother in all sorts of manners. And you have to accept it. My father maybe had a different notion of responsibility toward his son but I will not suffer it for my brother any more. I have seen more and more of this insolence and this is going to end." Robb was beyond the point of listening and yet his mother was not trying to talk anymore.

Jon knew this silence. He had known it since his first meeting with Lady Stark. "I know you have planned this but obviously your plans are not going to work." She, at last, said and Jon freed the caught breath. Nothing was unusual there. Before Robb could have answered that, she interrupted him. "I have already written to King Robert to legitimize him."

There was a smile on Robb's face. A smile, which was focused on the unbelieving situation.

"My Lady, I will council to wait for Lord Stark." Maester Luwin said and both Jon and Robb looked at him. Though the reactions on their faces were opposite of each other.

"Yes My Lady, I think it will be good to wait for his lordship. He may have something to discuss with you." Ser Rodrik's confusion was written on his face. Even Jon could not have understood why Lord Stark has told Ser Rodrik and Maester Luwin but not his own wife. He knew their roles in this situation. He ordered Ser Rodrik to protect Jon at any cost and then had given them his leave except Maester Luwin. He had ordered Maester Luwin something more important than Ser Rodrik, which had to be hided from Jon. And Jon could only imagine what it would be.

And now Lady Stark is worsening the situation.

"Maester Luwin I respect your council and your advice Ser. But now, I want to talk to my sons alone. You may leave now." She said in the same calmed voice but Jon was not buying this calmness. How could she have called him her son? After these many years. After this much… torture. He held his tongue though because Robb was also in the room and after hearing about his plans, he became more than his half brother. He could not hurt him at any cost.

"My Lady, I agree with Maester Luwin and Ser Rodrik. You should wait for Lord Stark." Jon said in a careful voice not to mean any offense.

"No, mother. It is good. We can declare his legitimization in Winterfell even now. Rest of world can know afterwards, when King Robert would reply." Robb was acting like a three years, who suddenly got countless lemon cakes.

"I think it is a better plan Robb. Go and order the servants to gather whole castle on the morrow's morning." Robb was about to conduct his mother's orders when Jon stopped him.

"Robb wait. Lady Stark, I do not want to be legitimized." He has chosen these words in two or three breaths and now also knew that the choice was wrong. Both Robb and Lady Stark were shocked but Jon did not care.

"Why not? Stark is not a bad name, Jon." Robb tried to lighten up situation.

"Please Lady Stark. Listen to me first. You should not do it. I'm begging you." He decided to ignore Robb.

"Why not, Jon?" Robb, on the other hand, was not going to be ignored. If there was any hurt there, Robb has hidden it.

"That's because…" Jon stopped. He turned his gaze toward his brother and saw a hopeful innocent face and then all of the determination and hatred for Lady Stark got blurred.

"Because I want a proper Legitimization Ceremony." He lowered his head. I'm a fool. If Daenerys Targaryen is actually trying to make me king then she's bigger fool than I am.

"We will have a proper ceremony after your father's return. It can be on your name day. Once the war will be done." Lady Stark suggested in his soft motherly tune but Jon was not used to it and he was never going to.

"Well then the declaration can also wait, Right?" He asked in argumentative gesture.

"Right Robb?" He turned toward his brother.

Robb studied him momentarily. "Wrong. If I knew you any better little brother. You're never going to want a proper ceremony. There is something more to the story. Tell me. Why you don't want to be my brother?" Robb asked and Jon Interrupted.

"I'm your brother. And I don't want a piece of paper to know it." He said.

"But I want it. I want to show it to all of those wicked people, who have insulted you for your name. I want all of them to bow down before you." Robb blurted out. Then, you should start from your mother. Jon almost felt a sudden guilt after this thought. Stark's or Targaryen's, I'm a bastard and they are known for their vice thinking.

"Mother, don't listen to him. I can gather whole castle tonight. We don't have to wait for morrow." Robb said and Jon knew he was losing.

"Lady Stark. Please don't do this. Wait for Lord Stark." Somehow he knew he will not lose in this conversation. Last night, she was trying to kill me and now she will listen to me.

"Last night I've decided that I will end my suffering. Forgive my husband and have you legitimized. After last night, you knew there is no other way to do it." Somehow he thought he would blackmail her about it but she was bringing up the topic herself.

"And you think that this is the right way? No! It is not My Lady." Jon did not care about Robb's confused face about last night.

"I will make it right. With your help. I will. Just give me a chance." She was pleading or was she?

"No! Not now. Please Lady Stark, Listen to me. There must be another way. I will go to the wall with uncle Benjen after the war." If remained alive at the end of it. "I will never come here. You may never see me again. You will forget about me soon." He ignored Robb's changed gesture. Robb was coming toward him. To hit him? Jon didn't know.

But Lady Catelyn was closer than Robb. She lifted her hand and Jon's hard face was ready for a slap and then surprised when the hand came toward his face more slowly and curled over the back of his neck.

"I know it's too late. I know I didn't deserve forgiveness but please, Son. For the love you bear for your father and your siblings. Please just let me do this right. Afterward I am ready for any punishment you hold for me. I would even return to Riverun and will never come back. But you shall stay here with your brothers and sisters." She was not making any sense anymore. There were tears in her blue eyes. Tears of guilt. Guilt for someone else's mistakes. His Targaryen father's mistakes and his mother's.

Robb was just standing there now. Still. Not in any hurry to interrupt.

"Your legitimization is not the only part of this solution Jon. I had sworn last night to my Seven that I will be a mother to you. For the rest of my life. I know you don't need it now. But perchance you will forgive me someday. With your help I…" The tears were flowing rapidly now.

"I… I can't My Lady. Please you should wait for Lord Stark." Jon interrupted her because his heart was now actually starting to pound against his firm decisions. Firm decisions. Jon almost laughed.

"Alright. Have it your way boy. You know what happens when I make my mind. I've made it and it is going to be this way. With your help or without it. I'm going to declare your legitimization on morrow." Her tone was broken from tears but was also authoritative.

"Lady Stark please. It is not your fault. It is not anybody's fault. I know what your ladyship is thinking and I'm just saying we should wait until.." Until King Robert actually kills me or more pleasant, he orders Lord Stark to kill me.

"Alright… I will wait for him." She said wiping her tears with the back of her hand. "But you have to do something for me." Robb was about to give some comment but Lady Stark silenced him with her hand.

"What should I do for your ladyship?" Jon asked sternly. Ask me to commit suicide and I will.

"Call me mother?" She did.

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