Author's Note: FF readers are my favorite Internet strangers; you're all so sweet!
Winter is here! I've split this update into two chapters, so you get two for the price of one today!
Sorry for the delay; this was a difficult portion of the story to write, so I spent a lot more time on it. Trigger warning, just in case: sexual assault is mentioned, but there are no graphic descriptions.
Olivia spent most of Saturday night and all of Sunday on their latest case. A six year old girl, Sadie Marks, was rushed to the hospital after a neighbor found her lying in the alley next to their building. The girl was strangled and badly beaten. Upon further examination, the doctors found evidence of repeated sexual assault. The hospital called in SVU, but unfortunately, Sadie died while in surgery.
Sadie's mother was a real piece of work. Sandra Marks was found passed out in their apartment with a needle in her arm. She was taken to the hospital to detox. When she woke up on Sunday, Olivia and Elliot went to break the news to her about her daughter.
Olivia took a deep breath. "Ms. Marks, I'm Detective Benson, and this is my partner, Detective Stabler. How are you feeling?"
"Like hell," Sandra answered. "They won't give me morphine or dilaudid. I need a fix bad. I'm itching like crazy. Oh, and I don't have anything on me, so you can't arrest me."
"Ms. Marks, we're not here about any drugs you may or may not have had. This is about your daughter," Elliot replied.
"Sadie? What about her?"
Olivia and Elliot looked at each other.
"Ms. Marks...I don't know how to tell you this," Olivia began. "Sadie was found beaten and strangled outside of your building. She was rushed to the hospital, but...she didn't make it. I'm so sorry."
"So she's dead?"
"Yes," Elliot confirmed.
"Oh. That's a relief."
"What?!" Elliot demanded. "Your daughter is dead!"
Sandra nodded. "Yeah you told me. And I'm relieved. I hated that little demon. Having a kid sucks. You have to feed it and take care of it. Screw that! Partying is much more fun"
Elliot's face turned red. "You killed her, didn't you?!"
"No. I let her go out with Randall, while I, uh, had some fun."
"Who's Randall?" Olivia asked.
"My boyfriend. He dealt with her crap so I didn't have to. I let him have free reign with her. He really liked taking care of her - they were always together," Sandra answered.
Elliot continued the questioning. "Does Randall have a last name? And any idea where we can find him?"
"Cooper. And I don't know, he's probably dealing around the neighborhood to get some money."
"Are you aware that Sadie was being abused? The doctors found evidence of sexual trauma," Olivia said.
"Yeah, I wasn't always able to 'please' Randall, so to speak. Sadie filled that role in nicely. That's the only thing the little slut was good for."
Elliot punched the wall. "Lady, you are sick! You knowingly let your daughter get raped and killed! I'm gonna make sure you rot in Rikers for the rest of your life! Liv, you finish with her, I'm going to find this Randall Cooper."
Elliot stomped out of the room.
"Sandra, how could you let this happen to your own flesh and blood?" Olivia asked.
"Look, I never wanted a kid. I got pregnant by some random hookup. I don't even remember the guy. I didn't want the responsibility. Every time I looked at her, I saw my mistake. She was my punishment. But I wasn't going to stop using just to care for a kid I didn't want. She was a burden and I'm glad she's gone."
Sandra was utterly unaffected by the death of her daughter. Olivia was shocked.
"You screwed up, big time, Sandra. You're going to prison," Olivia pointed out.
"I didn't kill her!" Sandra shot back.
"Once the jury hears about your knowledge of the abuse, you're gonna be put away for a long time. As soon as the hospital releases you, you'll be taken into custody. I'm done with you. I'll be arranging for an officer to be posted outside your door at all times, so don't even think about trying to escape."
"Whatever," Sandra calmly said.
Olivia left the room and went back to the precinct. She couldn't wait for Elliot to bring in Randall Cooper. Nailing him was her top priority.
It was now Monday morning. Olivia has texted Alex throughout the rest of the weekend, but she couldn't bring herself to take a break from the case. Alex missed Olivia, but she understood. Olivia promised that they would see each other later that night.
It was Fin and Munch who actually brought Randall Cooper in. They found him while canvassing the neighborhood where Sadie lived. He had a mile long rap sheet of arrests, including several assault charges. He added an 'assault on an officer' charge while Fin and Munch were detaining him - he tripped Munch, causing Munch's ankle to swell up. Now Munch was icing his foot while Cooper waited in an interrogation room.
Cragen walked to the detectives. "We have a report of a possible sexual assault on a body some unis found in Central Park. They're up by the Museum of Natural History. Olivia and Elliot, you're on it."
"I'll want Cooper," Olivia insisted. "I'm going to make him crack."
Cragen hesitated, sensing that Olivia was getting too deeply wrapped up in this case. But she and Elliot were involved since the beginning, so Olivia may have had some more information that could help them get a confession. "Fine. Elliot, Fin, get out to the park. Munch, you man the desk and phones. Olivia and I will take on Cooper's interrogation."
Olivia entered the interrogation room and tossed a picture of Sadie onto the table. She and Cragen sat down across from Cooper.
Olivia started her questioning. "So, you like little girls. What happened, Sandra not young enough for you?"
"I don't know what you're talking about, detective."
Olivia rolled her eyes. "Don't play dumb with me, Sandra told us everything. You used Sadie as a living sex toy! You're disgusting!"
Cooper slammed his fists on the table. "That junkie bitch! She never knew when to keep her mouth shut. Where is she, I'm gonna slit her throat!" Cooper made a dash for the door, but Cragen stopped him.
"Sit down," he ordered.
Cooper complied with the request. "It's not like she loved the little whore anyway. Sandra never had a good word to say about Sadie. She said I could do whatever I wanted with her."
Cragen interjected. "Are you admitting to having sex with Sadie?"
Cooper smirked. "Not necessarily."
His smugness irritated Olivia. "You know what? We're gonna find your DNA all over Sadie. Between that and Sandra's statement, you won't see the light of day ever again!"
"You have nothing on me besides the words of a drug addict," Cooper said.
Olivia's adrenaline was pumping. She wasn't going to let this piece of trash get away with his crime. She decided to take a more aggressive approach.
"I guess you weren't man enough for a woman your own age! How small are you anyway?"
"I'll show you man enough!" Cooper lunged at Olivia. Olivia grabbed his arms and forced him onto the ground. Then she exploded and started punching him. Cragen swiftly pulled her off of him, but not before she got in a few good hits.
"That's what I thought. You can't satisfy a real woman, so you had to use a child," Olivia baited him.
"You shut your mouth, right now or I'll shut it for you! Sadie was just a hole for me to stick it in!"
Olivia smirked. "You realize you just dug yourself your own 'hole' so to speak."
Cooper angrily stood and flipped his chair. "Alright! I did it! And I'd do it again! She was a slut, just like her mother!" Cooper angrily yelled.
"I'll make sure you spend the rest of your life with a cell mate who treats you like a sex toy. I'd castrate you right here if I could," Olivia threatened.
"Benson, enough! I'll take it from here. Wait for me in the crib," Cragen ordered.
Olivia was riled up now. She rushed out of the interrogation room and went into the crib.
Alex stared at the stacks of paper piled on her desk.
"Maybe if I close my eyes and will them to go away, they'll disappear," she thought to herself.
Alex closed her eyes and imagined a completely bare desk.
She opened her eyes to find the same piles taunting her. "It was worth a shot," she shrugged.
Monday was shaping up to be extremely busy. It seemed like every time Alex finished one task, three more would pop up.
Alex's phone rang. She immediately felt herself tense up, but was relieved when she saw Abbie's name on the Caller ID. "Hey Abbie, what's up?"
"Oh, I had some time before my next meeting and figured I'd call. Do you want to have dinner tonight?"
"Yes!" Alex exclaimed. "I was wondering though...um...can we make it a threesome?"
"Wow, Alex, I had no idea you were into that! I'm game though, I always knew you wanted to sleep with me. I thought our first time would be just the two of us though."
Alex knew that Abbie was teasing, but it didn't stop her from turning beet red. "Get your mind out of the gutter, Carmichael."
Abbie laughed. She loved needling Alex. "So who's the lucky person?"
"Olivia."
"Benson?!"
"Yes, Abbie. Olivia and I have been seeing each other."
Abbie whistled. "Whoa, Cabot, talk about a score! Can we go back to that threesome idea?"
Alex sighed. "Abbie, I know this is probably impossible for you, but I'd appreciate it if you kept this to yourself. We haven't told anyone except for Elliot yet."
"No problem, Al. I look forward to dining with you and the lovely detective. Say 7:00 at Lupe's?"
"Perfect! I haven't had Mexican in awhile," Alex said.
"Awesome! Well, I have to run to another thrilling meeting. I'll meet you at the restaurant as long as I don't die of boredom first."
"Sounds good. Later, Abbie."
Alex hung up and grinned. This day was looking up. Alex got her second wind and began plowing through her deliverables.
Sandra Marks was the drug addicted reincarnation of Serena Benson. The way she talked about her now-deceased daughter was exactly the way Olivia's mother talked to her when she drank. Serena's true feelings about Olivia came out the moment she had alcohol in her system. Olivia could hear her mother's voice echoing in her head.
"I never wanted you!"
"You're the reason I drink!"
"Every time I look at you, it's like being raped all over again!"
"I wish you would just die!"
Randall Cooper was a violent and abusive man who should have been behind bars a long time ago. After Sealview, Olivia swore that she'd never let anyone violate her again, and that anyone who tried would experience a world of pain. When Cooper lunged at her, she automatically went into attack mode. If Cragen didn't intervene, she was sure she would have killed him. And she would have had no regrets about it.
"Why did Cragen have to stop me? Cooper deserved every shot I got off on him." The fact that she couldn't make him suffer at her own hands made Olivia even more upset.
Olivia's blood was still boiling when Cragen found her furiously pacing around the crib.
"Benson, I want you to take the afternoon off."
"But Cap, I-"
"No buts, Olivia. You attacked a suspect!"
"It was self defense," Olivia argued.
"Bull. Subduing him was self defense. Those punches you took after could be classified as assault. I don't think he'll make any brutality claims, and they probably wouldn't hold water if he did. But you're clearly not in the right frame of mind to handle this case today. You're taking a break. That's an order," Cragen commanded.
"Yes, sir." Olivia knew better than to argue with her captain.
Cragen shifted from captain mode to friend mode. "Liv, is there anything you need to talk about?" His tone was softer and filled with concern.
Olivia politely brushed him off. "No, I'm fine. You're right...I just need to clear my head. I shouldn't have let Cooper get under my skin. I'll be back fresh and ready to go tomorrow."
"Good," he said. "But if you need anything, please call me."
"I will," Olivia half-heartedly agreed. She walked to her desk to gather her things. Luckily, no one else was around. She didn't feel like talking to anyone.
Olivia left the precinct and headed towards the subway. Right before she went underground, she received a text from Alex. Normally, seeing Alex's name on the display would instantly improve her mood, but Olivia was too worked up for it to have an impact.
"Hey Liv. Dinner with Abbie at 7. Lupe's in Midtown."
"Ugh," Olivia thought. She really did like Abbie, but she was not in the mood to socialize today. Still, she knew that it would make Alex happy, so she begrudgingly agreed to do it.
"Sure. Meet you there."
With that, she headed down to the subway station to catch the next train home.
Olivia got off the train and walked towards her building. On her walk, she spotted her old favorite haunt, Empire Spirits.
She stopped near the entrance. Her urge to drink was overwhelming, and her thoughts began to spiral.
"I can't drink. I promised Alex I wouldn't."
"She won't find out unless I tell her. She'll never know if I just have one. Just one drink to ease my mind! One drink is like nothing - it's like water to me."
"I'm deluding myself. I've proven time and time again that I can't stop once I start. She'll find out because it won't be just one."
"Then I'll have to see a counselor. What the hell good is that? I'd rather drink from the Hudson River than ever waste my time on counseling again. The shrink I saw after Sealview did absolutely nothing to help me."
"I'm smart. I'm a detective. I know how to conceal things. I bet I can have one drink and no one will ever know."
"I can stop at one. Those other times, I just didn't feel like stopping at one. I kept drinking because I wanted to, not because I couldn't control it."
"Eh, screw it. This day is already a disaster. Might as well do something to enjoy myself."
Olivia entered the liquor store.
"Hey Olivia! Long time, no see." She was greeted by Mike, who co-owned the store.
Olivia plastered a fake smile on her face. "Hi Mike. I've just been busy. These criminals never take a break!"
"I don't know how you do it. I would shoot someone on my first day."
"Yeah, it's tough. But I have the afternoon off and figured I would enjoy myself," Olivia replied. She picked up a bottle of mid-range vodka and some diet soda to chase it with. After she paid, she practically sprinted to her apartment.
Olivia set the two bottles down on the coffee table. She went to the kitchen and put some ice in a glass. She returned to the living room and settled into the couch.
Before opening the vodka bottle, Olivia set an alarm on her phone to remind her when she had to leave to meet Alex and Abbie. "Of course, I'm only going to have one drink," she rationalized. "But I may get distracted or fall asleep. Better to have the alarm on just in case."