Soundwave was having a dream. He was working on his console at the bridge with all the usual crew around. Megatron was staring at the main display as he used to when he was thinking hard. Business as usual. The navy mech concentrated on the task he was working on, - its essense kept eluding him, - and didn't pay much attention to what was going on behind his back until he felt his lord's presence behind. Megatron moved closer than usual, their EM fields interfering and Soundwave stole a small pleasure from it. Megatron was emanating force and confidence and the TIC let himself be engulfed by those feelings, reaching out to further entangle and interlace their fields.
He didn't expect the gladiator to notice, as fields were too subtle for most cybertronians to register, however this was a dream and in dreams you can have the impossible.
Megatron moved closer still and lay his palm on Soundwave's back, his field sparking with... the spy didn't dare to call it desire even inside his own dream. He let his own admiration pour out and stopped pretending he was still working. With a soft rattle sharp talons scrapped down his spine - a gesture nearly tender for their owner. Soundwave frose, feeling his body sensors being triggered one by one. Megatron's hand slid back up and gently pulled him by the shoulder, making the Surveillance Chief turn to face his leader.
Slowly, careful not to scare off this wonderful dream, Soundwave half-turned to meet Megatron's intent stare. "Everyone out!" - Megatron ordered without sparing anyone a glance. All his attention was focused on the navy mech and Soundwave heard a faint click of his coolig fans switching to overdrive as his middleware protocols activated and the chasis began to warm. He barely registered vehicons and other officers leaving the bridge, he didn't know what they were thinking about it and for once he didn't care in the least.
Megatron's hand repeated it's movement down his back and Soundwave offlined his optics behind his visor enjoying the caress. "Mmegatron?" he murmured, visual still offline, and felt himself being pulled to the bigger mech. The steel hands circled his frame. Soundwave bathed in warlords EM field - filled with violet sparkles of desire, it bloomed and flourished with the full spectrum of emotions and he had been the center of it.
Suddenly all this spectral glory dimmed and disappeared from his perception. Soundwave felt himself being lifted off the ground and onlined his optics back in wave of panic. The dream was spinning out of his control, the mech holding him up was Megatron no more. In stunned horror he watched the faceplates he loved shift and twist into one face that personified all the terror of his existence. He rushed to get out, to run, to break free, but he was strangely defenseless in front of this one. Lust and malice shone in bright yellow optics and the mouth twisted in a snarl.
"Uncover your ports, mech. If I have to do it for you, there will be... PAIN"
Soundwave desperately fought to shake the nightmare off. A servo reached out toward his covers and he screamed...
He screamed and trashed arund the berth.
Laserbeak pinged him with worry. Soundwave sat up, wings shaking and looked around his room. Just a dream. It was just a dream. Luckily, he shut down the links to his symbiontes before hybernating. He wouldn't want them to share his anguish.
Soundwave checked time. Now that the residual trembling subsided slowly, he realised he was still weary. One orn down time was not enough by far. But how could he offline now? He paced the room. Laserbeak watched him for a few clicks then settled down for more downtime herself. The surveillance drone was as tired as her host. Soundwave looked at her and realised what, or rather who was missing.
/Ravage. Report your position/
/On a walk through Nemesis. Why aren't you offline, boss?/
/Nightmare/ - Soundwave caught a glimpse of feline' remorse before the technimal shielded his emotions. Interesting. Normally he could let it slip, but unfortunate for Ravage he was now in dire need of distraction from his own thoughts. /Return/
/Oww.. boss...request: grant permission to recon the ship.. please?/
/Denied. Return. And prepare your logs for sync/ - and with that Soundwave disconnected.
Stupid, stupid, stupid! Ravage turned at the spot and rushed back. He, of all cons should have known his host wasn't that simple. There was no telling how his cyberpsyche would react to this kind of stimuli. Think first, act later. When did it become old-fashioned? When Soundwave learns about his little prank - and there was no "if" here, Soundwave would learn, - he would probably lock him in for a vorn or two. Force him to stasis maybe?
Ravage couldn't disobey a direct order. This was an established fact and he didn't want to risk upsetting his host even more by trying it now. He kicked into run. Plain and simple should do the trick - after all, his intentions hadn't been faulty.
Upon completing the sync with Ravage, Soundwave sat for a while, regarding his oldest creation. Feeling his acute attention, Ranage shifted uncomfortably.
/I find your behavior uncharacteristic/ - the transmission was stern but he had expected worse. /I would rather expect something like that from Frenzy, not../ Soundwave trailed off at the sight of Ravage lowering his head, audials flat against his skull. The spy knew what caused this uncharacteristic behavior. It took him a long time to get over the loss of his twin symbionts - as much as he was capable of getting over it anyway, but to Ravage this time hadn't passed. The technimal had been in stasis for a long time, for him that battle was still fresh.
/It is too quiet/ - Ravage transmitted, confirming Soundwave's conclusions.
The TIC felt his anger dissipate then. What was a nightmare worth? He's had them before. He patted the berth beside him and commed /come/.
Ravage didn't need a second invitation. He hopped on the berth and got comfortable beside his creator, laying his head on navy leg. Soundwave covered him with his wing. /I miss them too/
/You're not angry?/ - Ravage knew he was not, but he needed to make sure.
/Negative. However, my position on Nemesis - still needs to be confirmed. Further trouble - undesirable/
/Understood/ - and Ravage let himself be comforted by his host's caring field.
On duty again, Soundwave felt it was time to clear his status. Not once did he feel Megatron's studying gaze on himself, but that was understandable, considering previous revelations and everything that transpired since. Soundwave waited for a suitable moment, and, as other officers cleared the bridge, came to stand in the warlord's peripheral vision zone.
"Yes, what is it?"
/Soundwave to Megatron: am I still your Communication's Officer?/
Megatron gave out a small chuckle "Considering everything that happened? Yes, you are. And I still need that report on new energon deposits"
Soundwave bowed lightly and returned to his duty with a light Spark.
Airachnid appeared shortly, offering her help in tracing new energon clues. Soundwave couldn't contain a rueful smile - did the bitch really think Megatron was unaware of her crime?
After she left, the warlord turned to him. "Remind me of her trustworthiness."
Replaying her own treachery was nearly as satisfying as snuffing her spark would have been. Probably even more. Soundwave hoped he would have a chance to witness her demise by Megatron's own hand, but a disappointment was waiting for him here - Megatron preferred someone else to do the task for him. Did she mean so much? He felt a stab of pain at the thought and Laserbeak sent him a reassuring wave.
It was insignificant as long as she went down.
These solar cycles Ravage was finally able to recon the ship and was even assigned a minor watch duty at one of the mines. After his encounter with Megatron, the cat was officially accepted on board and received a duty. He looked forward finding D011G, but he wasn't at the mine so it had to wait. He got back off his shift just in time for unpleasant news.
Airachnid got away. And unexpectedly, Breakdown had perished by her hands. Soundwave's rage was roaming inside his circuits, seeking a way out. It was best to crush something... someone... but he wasn't sure he still had the trust credit to do that. In his attempt to channel this psychic energy into something less destructive, he made himself focus on Breakdown and how his mate should feel now.
Recent understanding between him and the medic inspired a desire to soften the blow somehow. Or at least show Knockout that he cared. When his shift was over, Soundwave pinged his symbiont, who, he knew, was desperately cleansing himself of earthly dust (seriously, this planet was incredibly dusty!): /Ravage. If you're done wasting my cleaner, there is a secret space/ - and he transmitted a picture of what the stash looked like, - /take two cubes of blue and meet me at the med bay/
/High-grade? How did you manage to?/
Soundwave didn't answer.
It was a trick for a four-legged technimal to master holding energon cubes - but it was a task Ravage mastered by numerous repetitions. His tail closed around the cube and lifted it, placing it into the sub-space in his chest. The trick was not to get greedy and take one at a time.
Carefully, as not to spoil the high-grade by shaking it, Ravage reached the meeting point. Soundwave had already been there. The navy mech commed his approval and opened the slider door.
The med bay was in disarray. Various tools were laying scattered across the floor, some of them broken. The cause of this destruction was obvious - the one mech in this room was sitting on the floor, clasping his helm with his servos. "GO AWAY!" - he belowed, as the doors to his sanctuary opened.
Looked like the news had already gotten here. Soundwave had no idea if Knockout and Breakdown had been bonded, 'facing or maybe just fiends, and now was clearly not the right time to ask, so he stopped beside the medic.
/Soundwave to Knockout: I'm sorry for you loss/
Knockout stayed silent for a short while then burst with anger "What would you know?! What would you all know?!"
Soundwave gestured Ravage to surrender the high grade and the technimal reluctantly produced one cube and set it down onto the floor.
/I know little. Breakdown was a loyal comrade, a fine decepticon and a doughty warrior. His spark is one with the AllSpark now. Don't lessen him by losing it./ - Soundwave included the technimal into his transmittion, sure that it would do the feline good to hear it too.
Knockout stared off into the space, focusing on a dark blue cube before him with considerable effort. "It's tearing me inside out. I felt him go.. he just..." - he whispered.
/I know how it feels/ So they had been bonded...
Knockouts head shot up, dim crimson optics locking on Soundwave's faceless visor "You do?" Soundwave nodded slowly, the medic's gaze shifted to the cybercat watching him with inscrutable muzzle "right... twins.." he murmured.
Soundwave nodded again and sat down on the floor within arm's reach from the grief-stricken mech. Knockout didn't realize it, but the telepath was wrapping him up in his calming field in a hope to dumb the pulsing pain that was throbbing brown in the Aston Martin's field.
Knockout ex-vented "Does it get better?" - he asked in dull voice.
Soundwave didn't want to lie to him: /Negative. But you learn to live with it/.
Knockout glanced around the room only now noticing it's sorry state "What do I do now..." - it wasn't really a question and it wasn't really adressed to him but the spy answered nonetheless /You drink. You talk about him. You say your goodbyes/
/Ravage, fetch the tubes/ - the technimal roamed around the room, looking for unbroken tubes, his irritation at this whole "bus-boy" mode seeping into his link with Soundwave. /Three tubes, Ravage/. The ears shot up and the grumbling stopped. The search also sped up.
"I don't think I want to drink that" - Knockout said softly.
/Soundwave to Knockout: applying force can be deemed neccessary for theurapeutic purposes. You have to drink. Or I will have to force you/
It took a while but the combined influence of Soundwave's EM-field and the high-grade mellowed the crimson con a little and he began to talk about his deceased comrade, recalling various situations, both dangerous and funny, that they both had gotten into before. Soundwave offered occasional input of his own, relaying events involving Breakdown that he had witnessed. Ravage recognised some information provided by his host was half-true, the events strained to exaggerate Breakdowns good sides and smoothen over his shortcomings. He pinged the spy questioningly. /Never speak ill of the dead/ - came the reply /...unless you have scrapped them yourself/.
The conversation turned to Soundwave's lost symbiontes. "Is it true that you decimated your spark to spark them?" - Knockout asked. Ravage's ears shot up and he looked at his creator. /This interpretation of their creation: inaccurate. My Spark is whole. Yet it was indeed used to spark them. Interesting rumor, though/
"Does this make you bonded to your cassettes? You sure are overprotective toward them".
Soundwave nodded, acknowledging the bond. His connection with his creations, their link, wasn't exactly the normal bond, but he doubted he could explain the difference without going too deep into things too detailed and too personal to share. "How did it feel for you to lose them?" Soundwave sat silent for a while then sucked in another gulp of high-grade through his feeler tube. The medic was looking at him expectantly. Ravage responded for him. The technimal tose his head and howled. The sound echoed through Nemesis' hollow insides. /Hollow. This experience is kin to failing to locate the source of a sound over and over. You feel like there is something there, there should be something there, but there is not. Like you online after a recharge and stretch your servos only to understand that you have none/
"I don't feel this way" - Knockout said after a pause and Soundwave thought he heard regret in the medic's tone. "...and I felt no urge to protect him.." - he finished softly. Soundwave blinked under his visor.
/Breakdown did/ - commed the spy and activated the replay "You so much as look at him funny, I will beat you so hard, he'd have to wield you back together".
Knockout winced at the sound of his late partner's voice, then a sad smile touched his intake. Yes, Breakdown was protective of him. Sometimes it irritated the scrap out of him, but mostly he had found it nice.
For a while they sat in silence. The second cube was coming to an end. Ravage got bored and stalked off to roam around the med bay. /Be a kitten and bring another one, will you?/.
Ravage liked the effect high-grade had on his creator. Asking nicely for a change, even if he called him kitten. As the technimal left, Knockout broke the silence "Were you?"
/Query unclear/
"... looking at me funny?"
/Negative/
Definitely, it had been the high-grade. What else could explain such boldness: /Soundwave: requests permission to ask a personal question/.
Knockout rose his brows, eyes flashing with curiosity. Curiosity, boosted by the grades. The doctor nodded several times.
/How does it feel to... receive?/
"Sorry?"
/Receiving... what is it like?/
It took Knockout several clicks to catch on the amount of assumptions that Soundwave put into this single question. "How the scrap would I know? I mean, I do possess a certain theoretical knowledge but I'm guessing that's not what you're asking... Why would you think me...?"
/My apologies. My assumptions were incorrect. Have you been bonded?/
"Why is it so hard to believe Breakdown was the one receiving?! It's logical, after all, in case of rogue code I would be there to cleanse it... not mentioning that he is ...had been my assistant, not the other way around."
/My apologies/ - Soundwave repeated and Knockout made a dismissive gesture, like, "it's alright". "If you're so curious about it, why don't you try? I could lend you a ... hand"
/Impossible/
"Too proud to open up?"
/No/
"You probably think you deserve to take the upper hand?"
/No/
"Well it's not like you need to worry about your reputation"
/Insignificant. It's not the motivation, it's the ability that I lack/
"Wait-wait! I remember it clearly.." - Knockout got up and rummaged through the pads cabinet, his movements a little sloppy. He fished out officers records and found Soundwave. "Yup, you're standard type mech, you're equipped for all types of facing"
/Not anymore/ Soundwave was embarassed, but also drunk, and the recent nightmare still bugged his ciruits. He had to talk to someone, and Knockout hadn't been the worst choice. And even if he wasn't the best choice, Soundwave still needed to get it out of him.
Momentarily sobered, Knockout put the pad down and turned to face him. "What happened?"
Yet, Soundwave couldn't force himself to speak it, even dumbed by the high-grade. /I had... an accident. Long time ago/ - that was all he could force out.
"Then get up here and let me take a look. See if I can fix you "
/There's nothing you can do/
"You don't know that!"
/Shockwave already tried to cure me. It's impossible/
"With all due respect for Shockwave, he is no medic. I am. And we have the most advanced medical equippment onboard. Would it hurt to try?"
/You are energon-high. Why do you even bother?/ - Soundwave commed making no attempt to stand up much less to get onto the table. Knockout tilted his head, examining his own motives "I just need to focus on something now" - he said fully aware of how pathetic it may sound. "And I never let grades affect my professional...ism"
Soundwave knew that there was no real chance Knockout could accomplish a task Shockwave had failed at, but if he didn't give it a try, the ghost of this hope would never truly leave him. And he didn't need any false hopes. They were viruses.
Without a word the spy got up and climbed up the said table, opening the covers. Knockout's optics widened as he took a look at the injury. The port wasn't injured - it was nearly absent, the living metal of the protoform scarred, twisted, discolored. The doctor sobered quickly, his gaze tracing the damaged cabling and biotech parts. He saw the traces of repairs that the spy mentioned and had to admit, Shockwave did an impressive job, a little blunt, but effective. He also saw that this kind of wounds could not happen accidentally - the scars suggested, there had been repeating assaults. Seeing Knockout's faceplates shift in terror and resentment, Soundwave suddenly felt completely calm. He was tranquil. As if showing off his injury purged this terror off his processors.
"By the AllSpark! Who did this to you?.." - Knockout ex-vented in awe.
/Insignificant. They are dead./
Unnoticed by the two, Ravage stood at the door.