A/N: And now Thorin has his say.

Disclaimer: Middle Earth does not belong to me, unfortunately. There is no monetary gain attached.

Chapter 11: Second Reckoning

Our meal passes amicably enough without any mention of yesterday's events, the conversation revolves around Fili's weapons practice and considerable skill of which Thorin seems inordinately pleased. Then we turn to discussing the minor happenings in our extended family. I'm just as uncomfortable tonight as I was yesterday morning because there's a tension in the air like there's a problem hanging over us but everyone refuses to acknowledge it. And that problem would be me.

When the food is gone, we descend into an uncomfortable silence. If Thorin intends to talk to me, I just want him to do it and get it over with. I have dreaded this moment all day, and now that it's time, I feel my stomach twist into knots at the thought of facing Uncle's disapproval. He was so mad yesterday.

Mum rises and starts collecting dishes. Out of habit I push my chair back from the table preparing to help.

"Kili," Thorin's deep voice stops me at once. "No."

I drop my gaze to the table, not wanting to look at him. I cannot count the times I've heard that particular combination of words in my lifetime. When I was a very young dwarfling, I probably thought 'no' was part of my name, as in Kili-No.

Fili gets up to help Mum, leaving Uncle and me alone at the table. Thorin reaches out to touch my arm. "Kili, we need to talk," and there it is- the moment I've feared. All I can do is nod silently waiting for him to continue. "We'll go back to your room."

I know better than to try walking there myself so I look towards Fili silently asking for help as my cheeks flush with the thought of needing assistance. He smiles and starts towards me until Thorin's words stop him.

"I've got this." Thorin bends to pick me up.

"Uncle, no!" I gasp, leaning away. "You can't."

"Why not?' Thorin asked his usually stern face puzzled

"I-I'm...ah...I...you..." I stumble over words not certain how to explain, my face totally red now.

Thankfully, Fili comes to my rescue, although I wish he would have chosen a better explanation.

"He's embarrassed, Uncle. Being carried makes him think he looks weak." While completely true, Fili's explanation hardy bolsters my confidence.

"Nonsense," Thorin returns matter-of-factly. Deftly he scoops me up into his arms and heads for my room "You are injured. There is no shame in needing help when you are hurt. I would do the same for Fili, or Dwalin, or anyone else."

I did not expect understanding from my Uncle. In fact I thought he would berate me for causing my injuries and tell me I had gotten exactly what I deserved. It's a bit of a welcome relief and I close my eyes remembering times from years gone by when he had carried me home after falls, and scrapes, and fights.

After Thorin sets me on my bed, he crosses and lowers himself onto Fili's so that we are facing each other. We sit in silence for a few minutes as if he is as reluctant to begin this conversation as I am.

"Kili."

I raise my head to look at him.

"I'm sorry," he hesitates.

Wait. What? Can this be Thorin Oakenshield, my uncle? Thorin never apologizes because he's never wrong. I must have misheard.

"Last night I was furious with you. I thought everything that happened was because I refused to take you with us." He pauses, "Until Fili explained things this morning."

I'm still staring at him in disbelief and just waiting for whatever comes next for I do not know how to react.

"I feel that this is partly my fault," his blue eyes are as sincere as I've ever seen them. "You and Fili should not have had to grow up here in Ered Luin. You should have been raised in Erebor as befitting the princes of Durin's line that you are. There you would not have been subjected to such cruel and demeaning remarks as were hurled at you. Some of that disdain was no doubt aimed at me. There are dwarves that think I have not provided well enough for them since Azanulbizar. And then there are those who simply have to disparage others in order to feel better about themselves."

"But Uncle," I dare to interrupt, upset by the sadness in his voice. He rarely opens up to talk about personal aspects of his past, especially about the battle at the gates of Khazad-Dum; and when he speaks of the kingship it's always in terms of responsibility and honor. "You have done the best by our people that you could. You have sacrificed so much for them. They shouldn't blame you." My voice escalates at the unfairness of which Thorin speaks.

Uncle rises and crosses over to my bed. Sitting he places a hand on my arm.

"Kili, lad, sometimes I forget how young you still are in terms of experience," he says softly. "I was younger than you are now when I fought at Azanulbizar and had the leadership of our people thrust upon me. You still have the hope and optimism of youth." Thorin's eyes lose focus as if he is drawn back into his memories.

While I know Uncle is trying to make me feel better, I can't help but think that what he really meant to say was naive, untrained, and untested.

Shaking himself from his reverie, Thorin continues, "Will you tell me who said those things about you?"

"I can't." It comes out as a bare whisper.

"Lad, you know you can tell me anything," Uncle assures me.

I shake my head, hiding my face from his gaze.

"Kili, why not?"

"Wouldn't be right," I manage. "They didn't say them to my face. I overheard them at the market."

"You mean they were talking this way in public?" Thorin's voice turns cold. "And, yet, you refuse to name them?"

I can do nothing more than nod at his accusation. Running had been the wrong decision. I realize now that I should have faced the lassies and defended myself; that was my responsibility. If it had been lads, I no doubt would have fought them, as I have in the past, even if I lost. Since I hadn't dealt with the situation myself, tattling to Uncle seems dishonorable, and cowardly, letting him deal with my problem.

"That is not acceptable," Thorin declares angrily.

I raise my face to meet Uncle's eyes. "Acceptable or not, that is my decision."

I know I am taking a huge risk by refusing to answer his question. I fear how he will react to my defiance. For several minutes we stare at each other, me trying not to lose my resolve and Thorin considering how to proceed. It's all I can do not to look away; but that would be showing weakness, and I cannot allow my fear to master me.

Finally, he breaks eye contact and nods. "Very well. If that is your decision."

I nod, not really believing he accepts my refusal to reveal the names, but thankful he doesn't push.

Thorin takes a deep breath, almost visibly pushing down his anger, to continue. "These accusations they made against you, their words mean nothing. They are mere words, and you cannot let them bother you. You alone determine the effects their words have on you. If you buy into them, then they will destroy you. If you know who you truly are, their words have no power over you."

I nod, not trusting my voice, afraid it will break should I speak.

"You are full-blooded dwarf, an heir of Durin, and there is nothing about your physical appearance or your weapon choice that can change that." Then Thorin continues but switches subjects "Regarding the problem of leadership..."

O, Mahal, I'm sure this is where Uncle will unleash his disappointment on me. I look down to my lap, not wanting to see my failure reflected in his eyes.

"Your potential to lead cannot be assessed from the outside and certainly not this early. Dwarrow do not follow because of how you look. They follow out of loyalty, honor, and a willing heart." Thorin explains. "No doubt you need more practice, more lessons on strategy; but when the time comes, you will be ready." He pauses briefly, then continues, "Once we retake Erebor, you will be a worthy Captain of the Royal Guard. Just trust the love you have for your brother to guide you." Thorin's words are utterly sincere.

"Believe me, you are my sister-son and I have never regretted that. I love you," Uncle continues, "and I am proud of you, even if I don't tell you enough."

I feel my chin quiver at Thorin's declaration. These are words I have longed to hear. "Thank you, Uncle," my voice shakes, but I smile up at him. Then he pulls me into a quick embrace, and rises to leave.

"Uncle?" I ask. He turns back to face me. "You're not going to punish me?" Even I can hear the disbelief in my words.

"No, Kili, I think Oin's forced bed rest will be punishment enough. I trust you will not engage in this particular foolishness again." Thorin actually smiles as he leaves.

I'm not sure what just happened. It was definitely not what I had dreaded. I actually made it through without crying in front of Uncle. I will need to think about his words; but at least he said he was proud of me. I smile, cherishing the moment, even though I realize that my lashes are now wet.

A/N: Well, I hope you like this chapter. It's not the one I had planned. Thorin just didn't want to co-operate with me and took the dialogue in a different direction. (We all know about his forceful personality). Possibly one more chapter, then the epilogue (where the girls learn that you don't mess with the Durins). As always, I appreciate your reviews.