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-What does this mean? -I asked while we sat on the couch. -what do we mean?
Sam looked thoughtful. We kissed one hour ago, and then we stayed in each other´s arms, just hugging. I wasn´t really sure what that meant.
Sam said softly: -It means you love me, and I love you. And now we have to decide what we want to do about it. -she eyed her feet and rubbed her hands nervously.
-Sam, I want you. -I wanted to hold her hand, but I thought it wasn´t a good idea, and it fell in the couch instead.
She smiled at me, it was that same smile that made me fall in love with her.
-Does this mean that we´re girlfriends? -I asked, playing with my hair.
-Just if you want to of course. -her gaze fell on our kitchen´s table, but she looked right back at me, waiting for my answer.
-I do.
I nodded in confirmation and this time I touched her hand.
I was so happy to be with Sam now. We started eating dinner. We ate spaghetti with meatballs, it´s our favorite food.
When I looked at Sam she smiled at me.
-What? -I asked confused.
-You´re so pretty. I love everything about you.
I blushed and smiled shyly.
-You´re pretty too.
I noticed that Sam blushed; she was so cute because she tries to never get nervous or shy.
She leaned into me and kissed me, I started to feel really hot. She started kissing my neck and that made me moan. That was making me feel so good; Sam touched my body so softly that I felt shivers down my spine.
But when Sam touched between my legs I got scared, and I started to panic. I was trembling, and Sam felt that, so she stopped.
-Cat are you okay? -she asked, concerned.
-No, I´m not okay… I can´t do this Sam. I´m not ready.
I could see a hurt expression on her face, but I didn´t want her to feel like that.
-Oh… I understand. -she stood up and took her plate off the table.
-Sam please don´t be mad at me.
-I´m not mad at you. I know it´s difficult to get through something traumatizing, like what happened. I just…
She stopped talking.
-What? You just… what? -I stood up, because I was starting to get nervous.
-I just thought that you were better now. I´ll never try to do that again. I respect your choice Cat.
She left me alone with my thoughts in the kitchen.
While I washed the dishes, the thought of Sam being hurt because of me wouldn´t leave my mind, but I couldn´t do anything, I was a coward. I had to get through this, I needed to. If I continued to get scared of people touching me, I thought I would lose Sam. You might think I´m exaggerating, and maybe I was. I knew I needed to trust Sam, she´s not like the guy that rape me. She´s protective, sweet, and she would never hurt me, and how do I reward her? I pushed her away.
I finished everything I had to do in the kitchen, and when I entered our bedroom I saw Sam lying on her bed.
-Hi.
-Hey. -she said listlessly.
-Are you already going to sleep? -Sam always likes to go to bed late. -We could watch some episodes of "Toilet Wars".
-I´m not in the mood to watch TV. I think I´ll just be here.
-If you're going to sleep… I will too. It won´t be funny without you.
She looked at me then turned her back. I sighed sadly and sat on the side of my bed. I started putting on my pajamas. Then, as i was getting in bed I had an idea.
-Sam? -I asked, hoping that she was still awake.
She stayed silent for a while, not answering.
-Yeah? -I could hardly hear her because her mouth was on her pillow.
-Can I sleep with you?
-huh… why?
-I just want to be with my girlfriend.
She didn´t answer she just scooted back a bit in the bed and made room for me before I climbed in and nuzzled my face in her neck.
-I touched her arm.
-Sam, I´m sorry.
-Don´t be Cat. I understand.
-But you look like a kicked puppy.
Though I couldn't see her face I could feel that she was smiling.
-Cat I just wanted to make you feel good, but If that disturbs you I understand, I can respect that.
She turned her face to me and I met her gaze. She caress my cheek and smiled at me. I just wanted to have the courage to let her do what she wants with me, but I´m too scared to let it happen.
-I hate myself.
-Cat. Why do you hate yourself so much? You´re beautiful, caring and sweet.
-I hate myself because I´m not brave enough to get through this.
-Come here.
She opened her arms and welcomed me in them.
-You need time, that's all. Don´t force yourself. If you don´t feel comfortable with having sex with me, it´s okay. I´ll wait.
-Thanks Sam… -I whispered feeling tired from all that had happened.
-Let´s sleep.
Sam turned off the lights, and she never let go of me all night. But I was the last to go to sleep, the thought that I had to change was still on my mind.
The next morning, I woke up first. Last night wasn't my best night. I kept waking up.
I got up, leaving Sam to sleep. I thought it would be better if I started preparing breakfast. When I was finishing making some pancakes I heard Sam´s steps.
She was so beautiful even with her hair still messed up from sleeping.
-Good morning.
-Morning Cat. -she gave me a kiss on the lips and grabbed me by the waist what made me squeal -what are you doing?
I turned around and looked at Sam from over my shoulder: -some pancakes.
-That sounds delicious. -she rested her head on my shoulder and sighed, like something was bothering her -Are you better Cat?
-Yeah, I´m okay. -I lied. -Let´s eat, the pancakes are done.
-They're really good Cat. You´re the best cook I know.
I blushed and smiled from ear to ear.
-Thanks.
We finished eating, I was always happier when Sam liked my food.
She was sitting on the couch, watching TV. I just looked at her nervously. I knew what I wanted, so I just needed to go with the flow. Sam is the only person that loves me, and I love her too. I shouldn´t be scared. So I acted.
-Sam.
She looked at me in the next second, and looking at her eyes was making me losing the little courage that I had. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply before talking.
-Can you come with me to our bedroom?
She stood up and rubbed her head: -Of course, but what for?
-Just come with me. -I held her hand and pushed her inside our bedroom, and closed the door right after, Sam´s eyebrows knitted in concern.
-Why did you close the door?
-Don´t ask any questions Sam, please? -I really didn´t know what to say to her so I limited myself to action. –Can you sit on your bed?
-Sure.
She looked at me expectantly and then I sat on her lap with each leg on one side.
-Uh Cat what are you doing? -I shut her up with my lips, she tried to mumble something because of my unexpected kiss but then she started kissing me back, they were short and sweet kisses. My tongue brushed her lips for entrance and to my surprise she granted it. After a while our kisses turned into a passionate make out session.
-Cat, are you sure you want to do this? -she was breathless.
-Yes, I know it will be hard for me, but I want this so much, you got to help me get through this Sam.
Sam took this as an invitation, and pushed me down so I was lying flat on her bed.
She started kissing my neck, and pushed my shirt up slowly.
-Everything okay so far?
Sam was being so caring with me. I nodded in confirmation that she could continue.
She started touching me gently and that made me close my eyes. She traced a path over my body and then down to my thighs.
I opened my eyes and grabbed her arm, showing her i was worried.
-Do you want me to stop?
-No, it was just reflex. Keep going, please.
She slid my pants down.
-You´re so beautiful Cat. -saying this she pressed a kiss on my vagina, that made me gasp.
-Are you okay?
-Continue.
She smiled at me, and then started licking my center, from bottom to top, she did it again and I couldn´t contain a scream. I was melting of lust.
My clit was throbbing and Sam started rubbing it, and I moaned more loudly.
I opened my legs, giving her more space, she slid a finger inside me and started moving and continued licking it. I held her hair, and she pumped in faster.
-Please… -my mouth slacked open, and she added another finger, her movements we´re getting faster, and faster, I couldn´t hold it much longer.
She stopped licking my clit and started biting my earlobe. I was hit with my orgasm when she hit my G-spot, I buckled my hips against her hand while I came. She slowed down her movements. I had my eyes closed, I was breathless. After some seconds of having my orgasm I finally opened my eyes, and Sam was smiling at me.
-This was amazing. –I whispered gaining back my forces.
-You came fast.
-That´s good or bad?
-It´s good.
I noticed a wet spot between her legs.
-Now it´s my turn Sam. You made me feel good, now it´s your turn to feel good.
-Cat that´s not necessary.
-Of course it is, you´re so horny. –I didn´t gave her time to complain, because I started kissing her neck. –You deserve feeling as great as I felt.
She moaned my name and I pushed her shirt up. I circled my thumb around her nipple, and kissed her cleavage. My hand slipped inside her pants and Sam gasped.
-Am I doing this right?
She whispered me a "yes". I started rubbing her throbbing clit, she was so wet that when I was going to slide a finger inside her, her pussy spammed around my fingers. I started moving inside her, Sam was drenched in sweat.
-Fuck… -Sam whispered, and I smiled at her. I continued to kiss her neck while I fingered her. Then I started licking her nipple again.
-You're killing me Cat… -Sam groaned in pleasure. -I´m almost there.
She held the sheets fiercely.
-Faster.
I added a second finger inside her, increased my movements speed; that was the last drop, Sam thrashed against the bed and screamed in ecstasy. She cummed on my fingers, and I just stopped my movements when she was more calm.
Reviews would be appreciated. Really, if you don´t say that you like this fic or not, I don´t know if I should continue writing it.
