Empty
A Bleach One-shot
(concluded)
The girl found herself suddenly lying on solid ground, opening her eyes to a gust of wind which blew grains of sand into her face. She sat up, looking around, and realized she was in some sort of desert that stretched as far as she could see. In every direction, all she laid eyes on were sheer endless dunes of sand that lost themselves in the distance under a dark, menacing sky.
How she had got here, she did not know. The memories of the laughing girl were engraved into her mind – as was the pain she felt at her loss.
Looking down at herself, covered in sand, she was surprised to find she seemed to have a body made of flesh and blood. Considering her memories, she felt that it was safe to assume that she was dead – because even if she had survived that accident, how could she have ended up here?
She would have been ready to accept the fact that the dark, painless and emotionless void was the afterlife, and she would never be able to leave that place again. She would have found peace there eventually, giving in to nothingness finally and dissolving, like everything in that void surely did. She would have vanished and ceased to exist.
Nothing had prepared her for the fact that she now found herself standing, breathing, solid – in a desert. And the wind gushing over her, tugging at the pieces of white cloth rapped over her skin, the sand beneath her feet, the limbs she could feel and move – all of this made her feel very much alive.
The only thing she missed, as she gazed down at herself once more, was a heart.
For in the place it should have been there was a fist-sized hole in her chest, piercing clean through her body.
Only after realizing this did she notice the dull pain thudding through her. It was rhythmic, a pounding that seemed to be trying to replace her missing heartbeat. And with it came a feeling of hopelessness and an empty, lost kind of sadness. Before she knew it, tears were trickling down her face onto the sand below.
She opened her eyes to the uncomfortable notion of not being able to breathe. Her movements were slow and pressure surrounded her – and with a jolt, she realized that she was under water. Panicking, she spun around, her arms heavy under the weight of the dark masses surrounding her. Locating the place a faint light seemed to be coming from, she began to hastily swim towards it, hoping to surface and receive the oxygen she sought.
She shot forwards much faster than she had expected – apparently she knew how to swim. The light came closer, and just when she thought she would not make it, her head broke through the surface of the water.
She gasped, feeling her lungs fill with air. Only now did she take time to examine her surroundings more closely, most prominently the fact that the water around her was raging wildly, the waves tossing her about like a leaf in the wind. Rain pattered her face, and she noticed for the first time the loud roar of thunder coming from the dark clouds above her.
Common sense told her it was unwise to be in the water during a thunderstorm, since a human body wouldn't survive a stroke of lighting conducted by the liquid.
Another rumble of thunder passed over her, and she knew it was too late.
She dived back under the waves, knowing it was pointless – and a bright purplish-white light cut across the sky, illuminating the murky waters around her for a split second.
Then there was pain.
It shot through her as the lightning struck the water only a few feet away from where she was swimming. An electric shock passed over her body, shaking her.
It's over, she thought. I'm dead.
After a while the tears had subsided, and though the hopeless feeling hadn't disappeared, they had faded to a strange kind of resolution.
A resolution to change what had happened; a resolution to right the wrong that was draped over her like a lead weight.
A resolution to find the girl from her memories.
So she began to walk. The dark sky loomed above her, and in the distance she could hear thunder. Just above the horizon there was a bright flash of lightning. She had no particular reason, but somehow she found herself walking towards it – much like the light from what she now figured had to have been a dream, this light seemed to have taken some kind of hold of her. She was, in some bizarre manner, drawn to it.
Her feet made soft crunching noises on the sand as she moved forwards, the deep and horrid feeling of regret weighing her down but driving her on at the same time.
On towards the light.
The pain stopped abruptly, and for a second, everything went black.
Then she was back in the middle of the raging water, her head breaking the surface, gasping for air.
Why was she still alive? How…?
But before she could contemplate further, something caught her eye in the distance.
A stretch of grayish land, just close enough for her to see.
The water splashed her face as she started swimming in that direction. The rain intensified, so it hardly made a difference if her head was above the water or beneath it. She struggled to draw breath, but nothing except water entered her lungs.
Strangely enough, she found she didn't need the oxygen. She was so used to breathing and the importance of it that suddenly not needing to struck her as odd – but somehow it made sense to her, in a strange kind of way. If she didn't die from a stroke of lightning, that could mean she was extremely lucky – or, on the other hand, what if she couldn't die because… she was already dead?
There was no fear after this realization – more like a deep calm.
On an impulse she plunged her head under the waves, away from the chaos of the storm. She could barely see her fingertips in front of her in the darkness as thunder continued to roar all around her. The instinctive need for oxygen came over her, but she suddenly found it quite easy to suppress.
Above her the sky was lit up by lightning again – but this time the electric shock barely reached her and passed over her as only a soft sting. She felt as though she was melting into the water, blending in with her surroundings, becoming one with the ocean.
Without having to come up for air and her strange natural knowledge of moving forward in the water, she reached the shore she had seen earlier surprisingly quickly.
Only there, as she dragged herself out of the waves, the rain washing dirt from her face, did she notice the ominous feeling hovering over her like a dagger, ready to crush her to pieces.
And emptiness large enough to consume her and eat her alive.
Her mind was blank – and so were her memories.
The dark clouds were rumbling ominously above her, as if they were daring her to come closer, daring her to approach the lightning.
What she hoped to find there, she did not know. For now, she walked.
The cold headlights of the car resurfaced before her inner eye, coming closer and closer. She heard the screeching of tires in the noises of the storm ahead, and her friend's scream echoed loudly in her mind with every step she took towards it.
It was like the memory was trying to prevent her from walking on, to stop her from going towards further danger.
Watch out!, the voice called, over and over. Watch out! …watch out! …watch …out…!
She shook her head in an attempt to get rid of the sound, in an attempt to help her forget once more.
She remembered the indifference before the light, the blissful ignorance she had felt.
But had it really been blissful?
Hadn't a part of her, no matter how small, wished to know? To feel? To be… alive…?
Hadn't she reached for the light in the end?
So this was what you got for wanting to remember.
The dull thudding pain that coursed through her body like a heartbeat was slowly drowning out all other sounds; it had become so loud in her ears. The raging storm ahead was muffled by whatever it was that was keeping her alive.
Alive?
She reached up to the hole in her chest, big enough for her to reach through it. It didn't hurt – it was just… empty.
And she realized she wasn't alive at all.
She was dead, a mere shell of lost feelings and solitude. She was broken, the only thing left of the human she had once been were the memories and regrets that haunted her.
And that strange, thudding, beating sensation where a heartbeat should have been. That little spark that kept her from surrendering to the emptiness. The spark that kept her walking on towards the storm.
The storm and the ocean slowly left behind her as she walked, decidedly away from the chaos she had been caught in.
Though it was evidently not necessary, she had taken to breathing again at regular intervals as she walked. The sound of herself drawing breath, even if it was pointless, had a somewhat calming effect on her, as it was almost able to cover up the sound of the raging thunder when she concentrated on it.
Her wet hair and clothes weighed her down, and she shivered occasionally as a cold gust of wind caught hold of her.
She was walking into an endless stretch of sand, the sky above her still dark and foreboding. But somewhere in the distance she thought she saw the sky getting lighter.
The horizon drew her on, keeping her hoping. Hoping for what, exactly, she did not know. Perhaps for answers to all the questions that were filling her mind with every step she took.
Who am I? What happened? Where do I come from? Where am I supposed to go?
Whenever she tried to remember, blotches of red appeared before her eyes and drowned out everything else.
Something moved on a dune far ahead of her, tearing her away from her thoughts. It seemed tiny from where she was, but she had definitely seen it.
Without knowing why or how, she suddenly found herself running.
The sand she was treading on was slowly making her feet feel heavy – or maybe it was the weight of the feelings she carried that slowed her down. Her eyes were glued to the storm she was walking towards, anticipating the lightning after every growl of thunder. In the distance, she thought she saw movement – the swaying of a great ocean in the wind. This wind was already stronger now, whipping her hair in front of her face.
Only a few dunes separated her from the water now, and she slowed her steps, wondering which direction she should turn to next. The sea ended her straight path, and faced with a decision she found herself hesitating.
She craned her neck to make out shapes in either direction, but all she could see was an endless stretch of sand.
And then, suddenly, movement. A flash of white against the gray of the entire world around her – a splash of light in the darkness.
She knew without a doubt that it was her.
The sand slowed her steps but she pressed on, emotions whirling up inside her. Suddenly the storm behind her felt like a threat, and the waves seemed to be reaching for her, trying to drag her back into their depths. Come back, they seemed to call, come back to oblivion, forgive, forget! Lose those feelings inside you, it is better if it ends! But now she wasn't so sure if that was true. Something inside her was urging her forwards, on towards that white shape that may or may not have the answers she sought.
As she got closer, the figure she was running towards became more defined to her vision: A girl, about the same ages as she thought herself to be, with dark, reddish hair. There was a hole in her chest right where her heart should have been – so she was dead, too? Reaching up to her own chest, she felt – now without the slightest bit of surprise – that the same was true for herself. So this was what death was like? Running through a desert without knowing path or purpose?
But her answers felt so close, closer with every step. She found her muscles aching, a strange feeling for someone apparently dead, but kept running, kept fighting.
For something, for anything. For truth?
She stopped in her tracks when the other girl was in hearing range. There was no more point in running – she had found her.
So many emotions were boiling up inside her, starting to clench in her throat and fighting to break free. She felt tears welling up in her eyes again, the throbbing growing stronger. But the pain that came with it was being numbed out by relief.
The other girl, shorter, blonde, with the same strange white clothes and the same hole in her chest, skidded to a halt in front of her. She opened her mouth, her eyebrows narrowing in concentration.
She doesn't remember…!
As this thought struck her, fear surged up again. She didn't remember…? If she didn't remember, everything was pointless…! She had to let her know, had to apologize! That was the only thing driving her forward…!
She stopped and stared up at the dark-haired girl, whose eyes were filling with tears. She looked so pained, lonely and hopeless that she felt a lump forming in her own throat. The way she was looking at her – she seemed to recognize her, even though her own mind was blank.
She found herself wishing more than ever that she could remember her past and how she came here, but there was that foreboding feeling creeping up on her, giving this emotion a sour taste.
The other girl stepped forwards, closer, whispered a name.
Her name.
"It's you."
She embraced her, tentatively at first, then tightening her grip.
Warmth flooded through her, and she raised her own arms, which had been hanging limply by her side, to return the embrace.
She closed her eyes – and immediately images flashed before her eyelids.
A dark road, and a person illuminated by headlights.
The girl in front of her, her eyes open wide in shock, light reflected in them, much too close.
A splash of blood across a carpet.
Her ears rang with the screeching of tires and a high-pitched scream.
Everything came back in a second. Her eyes flew open and she gasped, falling forwards and only remaining upright because her friend was there to catch her.
She looked up at her, and knew immediately that she understood.
Choking, she gasped: "I'm sorry…!"
An apology was the last thing she had expected, but this meant she remembered, she knew.
"I'm sorry too," she managed, blinking to get rid of her tears. "I'm so sorry."
They both chuckled through their tears.
"So we died together, huh. D'you think… d'you think we can leave this place?"
She looked down at the smaller girl, suddenly confident again. Her hand found its way to the hole in her chest – except it didn't feel so empty now, and the throbbing was gone.
"Yeah. I'm pretty sure we can. Together."
She reached down and entwined her fingers with the other girl's. As they touched, both their hands began glowing with a soft white light, a light which spread until it surrounded them both, drowning out the desert and the dark clouds, drowning out everything, even their own bodies.
But she found they no longer needed them – they were finally free.
The light around the two small forms grew and grew, swallowing the desert and the ocean and the sky. It stretched to the ends of the realm of the hollows, covering everything, alive or dead, in the fraction of a second in its blinding brightness.
The next moment came and it was gone, and the world remained, as if it had never been there.
The other creatures in that world simply blinked and continued on, soon to forget what they had witnessed, in their endless quests without meaning, for reasons they were prone to forget as well.
But the two girls had gone, free of their burden – they had saved each other.
A/N:
Hey there, everyone!
It really has been a long time, hasn't it?! I feel so bad for not updating for AGES - that is gonna change though! I'm back, and I'm just getting started, so stay tuned for new chapters for all my other stories~!
Anyway, I hope you liked the end of this story - it was meant to be just a one-shot, but in the end it just became a two-part story, and now it's finally finished! :O Took me long enough, too.
This is, (again?) for my lovely best friend and beta KuroTenshiShiroTenshi - she rocks and she knows it, and she's the one who keeps nagging me until I update :D I'm sorry I'm always late with updates, but better late than never, right? RIGHT?
I really hope some of my initial readers have stuck with this story even though it's been so long - if you have, THANK YOU SO MUCH (And thanks to all new readers too, of course!)!
Have a lovely day and thank you for reading!