I'm not going to lie, I'm proud of myself for updating this quickly. :D

Snape POV

I quickly put the diary down and ran to the lavatory, getting sick. When I had heard Lily had been pregnant I had the smallest of suspicions the baby could be mine, but when I saw his image in the Prophet my suspicions had been quelled. I had felt relieved that Harry wasn't my son but also slightly disappointed. Now, thinking of what my life could have been, all I feel is a bone deep sadness. Tears keep falling down my face as I continue to heave. I had been so awful to Harry, I had loathed him and he had loathed me. What a cruel twist of fate.

I was angry at myself for not approaching Lily when she was pregnant about the baby's paternity and angry at Lily for keeping such a secret from me. If she had only told me, I could have raised Harry as my own. Fuck the Dark Lord! And James! I hate James now with a burning passion, even more then I hated him before. He had been there when my son was born, when he took his first step and called him dada. He even made my son's features into his own! I heaved once more. Even the things that I had, had been taken away from me by James Bloody Potter.

I rested my head on the cool porcelain of the toilet and calmed my breathing. Rational thought was coming back to me. My own thoughts betraying me. If Lily had told me about Harry I would have had to run from the Dark Lord and stay in hiding (if Dumbledore would have allowed his precious spy to leave). If he hadn't, I would have been forced to make a new identity for Harry and he might have had the same fate as Draco, being the son of a Death Eater. Or I would have had to live with the fact that Harry was my son but could not acknowledge him; letting him live with Lily's awful sister. Because if Harry had known I was his father my position as a spy could have been compromised. Yes, Lily had made the right decision, as much as I loathed it.

The door creaked open and I could hear someone walking around my rooms.

"Severus?"

"Not now, boy! Leave me!" I said, regretting it immediately. I staggered up from my position but by the time I made it to my living room, Al was gone. I closed my eyes and sighed. I needed a drink. I went to my old drink cabinet and opened the half full bottle of firewhiskey. I chugged straight out of the bottle. The first sip burnt my throat. The drink had gotten particularly strong from sitting in a cabinet for 21 years. It didn't taste the greatest either. But a drink was a drink and I drank myself to oblivion that night.

"Severus, I'm glad to see you. I've been waiting eagerly for everyone else to finish speaking with you."

"Lily?" Severus exclaimed. He rushed towards her but then stopped a foot in front of her.

"It's funny that you picked this place to meet with me." She said sitting down on the grass. Severus looked around himself for the first time. He was standing in front of the tree that he always met Lily when they were children.

"I chose this?"

"Yes, subconsciously, at least. It's very interesting how things work here. I, myself, don't understand it. Severus, sit." She said. And like a dumb fool, he obeyed her at that very instant; sitting only centimeters away from her.

"Thank you for everything you have done for Harry. I owe you a great deal. I'm very proud of the man you have become."

"How can you be? I became a Death Eater, like you always said I would. I only protected your son because of a deal I made with Albus, not because I had a sudden change of heart." He bit back.

"Hmm, no. I don't believe that and Albus doesn't either. You did it because you love me." At that, Snape blushed and Lily smiled at him. "And maybe you loved Harry a little bit too." Severus looked affronted and opened his mouth to object.

"Not in that sense. You loved his eyes, my eyes, didn't you? You protected him because of his eyes and because you couldn't let an innocent boy die. Albus told me you were distraught when you found out Harry was destined to die."

"I was distraught because I found out that all my efforts to keep the insolent boy alive past his teens was for nothing." He spat. Severus was surprised when Lily laughed.

"Don't pretend you don't care. That's just insulting my intelligence." Severus looked at her grumpily, knowing he wouldn't be able to convince her otherwise.

"So, what is this visit for? A final goodbye before I end up like Regulus?"

"Severus, the reason you visited Regulus was not to show you what would become of you, but that there is forgiveness here."

Severus looked up at her in surprise.

"Your crimes as a youth have been forgiven. You sacrificed everything to help the Order and protect the wizarding world's saviour." She took a deep breath. "It also helped that you helped bring their saviour into this world." She said as she looked up into the blue sky. Severus was puzzled.

"How did I help bring him into the world? I wasn't there at the delivery." He said with narrowed eyes.

"No, but you were there when he was conceived." Severus looked appalled.

"Severus, you can be really thick sometimes. Here I am, practically spelling it out for you! Severus, what I'm trying to tell you is that you are Harry's biological father." Severus was silent for many long minutes.

"You're joking." He said in a flat tone. Lily sighed.

"No, I'm not. I cast a spell on him when he was just a baby so that he could pass as James' son. I knew from the moment I found out that I was pregnant that you were the father. You were the only possibility. James had been presumed dead until a month after Harry was conceived. I'm surprised you never did the math."

"I presumed he had been born early." He mumbled. He felt guilty because he had done the math. When he had heard Lily's baby had been born nine months after their... liaison he had allowed himself to think of the baby as his, but that dream had been destroyed when he had seen Harry's baby picture in the Prophet the next day.

Severus still wasn't a 100% convinced though.

"Prove it." He finally said.

"I- how?" She asked puzzled.

"There must be something here that ca-" Severus was cut off when he saw a bubbling cauldron appear from thin air with a piece of parchment next to it. Lily got up and read it.

"It's a paternity potion. And here are the instructions on how to brew it." She said in a clipped tone. She couldn't believe he didn't take her at her word. Severus looked over the list and brewed the potion.

"I need a strand of your hair." He said after hours of silence. Lily plucked a strand of red hair out of her head and handed it to Severus. Their hands momentarily touched and they felt an electric shock go through them. They both ignored it. He pulled out a strand of his own hair and then dropped the two strands into the potion.

"Green-yes, colorless-no." He mumbled. They both waited in anticipation. Then the potion suddenly turned a bright green. Severus immediately sat himself back down onto the grass. After a few moments Lily spoke.

"Please say something." She pleaded.

"What can I say? I- I have so many thoughts running through my head. I can not... just say something." He trailed off. Then his eyes met hers and Lily's heart broke.

"I'm sorry." She exclaimed, throwing her arms around his. Severus sat motionless. After a moment he pried her arms off of him and walked away. Lily looked at him, hurt.

Severus walked for what felt like hours when he came upon a house. Number 4 Privet Drive. He saw blurs run past him. This is where his son had grown up. The blurs stopped moving and he saw a family gathered around a dinner table.

He recognized Petunia, with her flowery dress and high pitched voice and of course, her husband Vernon. And there was their equally ugly son, stuffing his face with mashed potatoes. But, Harry was nowhere to be found. Severus kept walking around the house until he spotted his students handwriting. Harry's room, was written above a small cupboard. Severus was disgusted. He opened the door and saw Harry huddled on his bed with his arms wrapped around his stomach and tears running down his face. He must not have been older than seven, he was so tiny.

"So hungry." Harry whispered into the dark and hiccoughed. Sudden realization fell upon him and he was furious. They were starving him?! How dare they! Severus spun around and stormed into the kitchen. The scene froze.

"You cannot do anything, Severus. This is only a glimpse of the past." A familiar voice said from behind him. Severus spun around.

"Mother?"

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