This is the longest chapter I have ever written! :D I hope you all enjoy this one, I know I did when I wrote it. Just to let you know before you read this that this chapter is almost a whole other story on its own and I tried to condense it as much as I could. This is the scene I pictured writing from the very beginning of this story and I've finally made it to this point! :D
Spoiler-ish piece of information: later in the chapter when I write Snape it means the dead one and Severus means the alternate one.
Warning: Mentions of rape and suggested sexual scenes.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
"Hello Severus."
Severus stared blankly at his mother. Then, as if coming out of a trance, he said: "What is the meaning of this?"
"You believed your son was a spoiled brat. I wanted to show you that you were wrong." She said simply.
"This is cruel." He said angrily.
"If I had known he was my son-"
"You would have stormed in here and rescued him. Yes, I know. But you did not know he was your son. Would you have even cared that this was happening to him if you had found out about his treatment at the time?"
"Yes, of course I would have! No child deserves to be treated this way." His fiery eyes stared up at her.
"But of course, you couldn't understand. You let your own son get beaten by a monster. You did not love me; you resented me for being alive!" A hurt look crossed her face but she quickly schooled her features.
"I did love you, Severus." She said in a small voice.
"Tobias did not only hit you but me. He raped me most nights." She said this with little emotion.
"Yes, I know." Severus said a little more calmly.
"He was a good man before..."
"Before I was born, yes, you've told me time and again."
"How could I not resent you when my Tobias was gone the moment you were born?!" She snapped.
"It isn't my fault you didn't think of using protection! And as I recall Tobias did not become violent until I showed signs of magic. It was your own doing that he became bitter and violent. You lied to him about us. If you had told him from the start the relationship would have ended swiftly and I never would have been born. All your problems would have been solved if you had told him!"
"But I never regretted having you." She said her face crumpling. She turned her head away from him. When she looked back again she had her usual steely expression.
"We cannot change the past, unfortunately. And I would not change having you. Anyway, you were too important for the wizarding world's future. You are after all the reason why we won the war. Not just because you are the father of our saviour, but because of your spying for Dumbledore. I'm very proud of the man you've become despite your poor childhood. I am sorry for that." She paused and Severus glared at her.
"We are not here to rehash our past. I was chosen to be the one to give you your prize, of sorts." Severus looked suspicious.
"Prize?"
"Yes." She sighed. "I was against it because I thought it would be cruel. But the higher ups insisted that I show you this. You can choose, after I explain, to see it or not."
"See what?" He asked impatiently.
"What could have been, if you had made different decisions in your life. You must know that what you will see could never happen. What I am about to show you is one of the possible paths your life could have taken. You must choose now to view it or not."
"I... yes. I choose yes." He said almost immediately. Eileen sighed sadly.
"Very well. Good luck, Severus."
"What do you mean? Aren't you coming?"
"I cannot accompany you on this journey. It is for you alone to view it. I will be here when you return."
Severus opened his mouth to protest but the world around him was slowly starting to fade. For what felt like hours, Severus was surrounded by darkness and didn't dare move. When the world materialised again around him, he saw that he was standing outside of the Hog's Head. He could see his younger self hungrily listening in on Dumbledore's interview with Sybill Trelawney. She began her prophecy but then he was caught by the barkeep and thrown out of the pub.
He knew what was coming next; he would apparate away and would tell the Dark Lord what he had just learned. But instead this Severus stood outside for a very long time, thinking. Then he apparated away. Snape soon followed.
Severus banged on the door of a little house. Snape remembered that this had been the Potter's home before they had to move to Godric's Hollow. The door swung open.
"Severus?! What on Earth?" Lily yelled out.
"I need to speak with you. It's urgent." He pleaded.
"Come in, quickly." She said, pulling him into the house and shutting the door.
"Is James here?" He asked looking around.
"No, he's out for the day with the boys. What are you doing here?" Severus looked down at her flat stomach.
"Are you pregnant?" He asked urgently. Lily took in a surprised breath.
"You came here to ask me that? What gave you that idea? Have I gained weight?" She asked, looking down at herself alarmed.
"No! You look perfect." He said, than blushed.
"I...I overheard a prophecy." He told her about the prophecy. Lily paled the more he spoke.
"What made you think of me?" She asked once he'd finished. He blushed again.
"Well, um." He cleared his throat. "The end of July would be um, nine months after we, you know... I just wanted to make sure." He finished.
"Oh." She said. "Well, I am."
"What?" His head shot up in surprise.
"You were right. I am pregnant." She clarified. "James doesn't know." A tear leaked out of the corner of her eye and she hiccoughed as she took a breath. "The baby is yours." And tears poured out of her eyes. Severus sat still in shock. When he had thought of Lily, he hadn't really thought that she'd be pregnant, but he had needed to make sure before reporting the prophecy to the Dark Lord.
"What do we do?" He asked her softly.
"I'm going to tell James tonight, about everything." She finally said.
"But there's nothing you can do. No one else can know that this baby is yours. It would be a target, because you're a Death Eater and I'm a mudblood." Severus looked like someone had punched him in the face.
"I'm sorry." Was his strangled reply. Lily wrapped her arms around him and they both cried for what could have been.
"I love you." He said into her hair.
"I know."
The scene changed again.
"I can't believe that bastard left you!" Severus raged.
"What did you expect?! I cheated on him and am having your baby! I would have done the same thing if I was him!" She yelled back, her hand resting on the slight swell of her stomach.
"I'm sorry." He said, sitting down on her sofa.
"I just can't believe he left you alone in a time of war."
"Stay with me then." She said.
"You know I can't. If anybody-"
"You can floo here and back home. No one would be the wiser. Please. I can't stand being alone."
"Okay." He finally relented.
The scene changed once more and Snape was reeling from all the changes that were already happening.
"The baby moved!" Lily yelled out as she stood up from her position on the sofa. Severus put his potions journal on the coffee table and rushed over to her.
"What? Really?" He put his hand on her stomach, but could not feel anything.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Severus. You can't feel the baby yet, only I can." He looked disappointed.
"What did it feel like?"
"Like a butterfly swimming around in my stomach." She laughed and then stopped abruptly. She had just realised how close they were standing to each other.
"Umm, I'm just going to mmh," she was interrupted when Severus had put his lips upon hers. They hadn't done anything like this since there last and only night together. Severus put his hands on her hips and pulled her flush against him as Lily wound her hands through his hair.
Snape blushed furiously and looked away. The scene changed once again.
Their fingers were twined over Lily's belly as they lay lazily in bed. She now looked four to five months pregnant.
"I was thinking Nicholas." Severus said.
"After Nicholas Flamel? Figures you'd want that name. And no, definitely not." She laughed. Severus harrumphed.
"Then Sebastian, it's a good name."
"Remember that awful boy who used to live next to me?" Severus nodded. "His name was Sebastian."
"Then your answer is no." He said, looking contemplative.
"Celeste?"
"No, that was the name of Petunia's friend from grade four. She had a squeaky voice." Severus sighed.
"You're very picky, you know. At this rate our baby will be born nameless." Lily laughed and snuggled against his chest.
"Rose for a girl, then?" He asked. Lily looked up at him and smiled softly.
"Yes, I like that." She said, kissing his nose.
"That's settled then." He laughed. "Now we need a boy's name."
"Hmm..." She said sleepily.
"What about Harry after my father?" She said. Severus looked down at her head sadly.
"Yes, I think that will work."
"Good, because that's what we're naming him." She said and he smiled.
"What last name will the baby go by?" He asked. The question had been troubling him for a while.
"I was thinking Evans. We know the baby can't go by your name and I know you don't want the baby to go by Potter."
"Won't people question it?"
"Yes, but James and I are separated. I could just say it's a muggle tradition to go by the mother's maiden name after a divorce."
"Divorce?"
"Hmm, yes. Once James comes back from wherever he went to, I'll ask him to sign divorce papers. I've already got them ready for him in my night stand."
Severus looked down at her in surprise and kissed her hair. A few moments later, she was snoring.
Snape felt despair at what could have been. He hated himself for his choices more than ever. The scene changed once again and Severus braced himself for what he was about to see.
"Yes, just like that!" Snapes' eyes widened as he saw the scene before him. Lily was straddling his other self and they both seemed to be enjoying it quite a lot. Lily and Severus let out moans when there was a bang that came from the front room.
Lily rolled off of Severus and he quickly put on some trousers and grabbed his wand.
"Stay here." He told her as she got dressed and grabbed her own wand. She sat on the bed and waited for him. Snape quickly looked at her and her enormous belly. He couldn't tell how far along she was, but she looked about ready to pop and she looked beautiful.
"What are you doing here?!" He heard a familiar voice yell out in outrage. Lily sprung up out of bed and waddled towards the men in her living room. Snape followed.
The scene that greeted him was a familiar one. Severus and James Potter were pointing there wands at each other.
"Isn't it obvious?" Severus asked mockingly. James looked down at his naked chest and scuffed in disgust. When Lily walked into the room James looked at her with bright eyes. When he saw her belly his eyes lowered and so did his wand.
"So this is your choice, then?" He asked her sadly.
"Yes." Lily choked out.
"James, I'm sorry." She said, reaching her hand out to him.
"Don't." He spat out.
"Answer me truthfully; did I ever have a chance of winning your heart or was it always his?" Silent tears ran down her face.
"I did love you. But... I've always loved Severus too. I hadn't realised I was in love with him until several months ago. I thought our love was enough. If I have known then of my true feelings I never would have agreed to marry you... to hurt you this much. It was never my intent to betray your love for me."
"It would have been a worse betrayal if you had lied to me. I'm glad you told me because it would have hurt more to live the rest of my life with a woman who loved another." His eyes flicked to Severus and he had the decency to look ashamed.
"I... I have d-divorce papers ready. We could end this now, if you'd like." She said hesitantly.
"The sooner, the better." He said. She got the papers and he signed them.
"Good luck." He told her and walked out of their lives. Lily cried the rest of the day.
The scene changed again. He was in a darker room and his other self was kneeling on the ground.
"I need a spy within Dumbledore's ranks. Someone young and competent. Severusss, there is a post available within Hogwarts for Defence Against the Dark Arts, I want you to secure that post."
"Yes, my lord."
" Wormtail, you had news for me?"
"Y-yes, m-my Lord."
"Stop stuttering and stand up, you imbecile."
"Y-yes, my lord!" He stood up quickly.
"I overheard Dumbledore speaking of a prophecy with one of the Hogwarts professors." Severus paled and felt his heart slam against his chest.
"It spoke of a boy born at the end of July that would defeat you, my lord!" He whimpered as the Dark Lord stood up.
"Lucius, you have a post within the ministry. When the end of July is upon us, inform me immediately of all the children born at that time. Wormtail, tell me specifically, word for word, the prophecy.
"I apologise, my lord, but they only spoke of the prophecy."
Voldemort flicked his wand at him and he squealed in pain.
"No matter. We will kill all the children born at the end of July."
Once the meeting had concluded, Severus apparated in front of Hogwarts castle. He vehemently fought with Hargid, but the half-giant would not let him in the castle grounds.
"Then send Dumbledore! It's urgent!" He pleaded. Hagrid finally gave in and fetched Dumbledore. The professor walked towards Severus glaring at him with steely blue eyes.
"Mr. Snape. What do I owe pleasure of you visit?"
"Sir, there was a prophecy made in January by Sybill Trelawney. I overheard it, but did not report back to the Dark Lord. Wormtail, Peter Pettigrew, has joined the Death Eaters and he overheard the prophecy. He told the Dark Lord." Severus said breathlessly. Dumbledore looked troubled.
"He plans on killing all the children born at the end of July. We need to protect them!" He pleaded. Dumbledore looked at him suspiciously.
"Yes, of course. But why do you care all of a sudden, Mr Snape? It was my understanding that you hated mudbloods" he flinched "and loved to torture muggles."
"I never." He began desperately.
"Answer my question, Mr Snape."
"Lily is pregnant. She is due at the end of July."
"Yes, I remember hearing of it. And you want me to protect her?"
"Yes, both of them, please."
"And what of James Potter? Should I not also protect him?"
"If it is necessary, yes. But he does not live with Lily anymore. He left months ago." Dumbledore looked surprised.
"James left when Lily is pregnant?"
"Yes, because... because he isn't the father of Lily's baby." Dumbledore's eyes turned ice cold.
"I am." He finally said. Dumbledore looked beyond furious.
"Do you know how much danger Lily is in, now that she's having a Death Eaters child?!"
"We know this, and no one else knows! We already have a story to explain Lily and Potter's separation and why the baby will go by the name Evans and not Potter."
"And what if the child looks like you?" He demanded.
"We are hoping he doesn't." He said simply.
"There is more you aren't telling me." Dumbledore said, still furious.
"Yes. The Dark Lord wants me to secure a position within the Order of the Phoenix and at Hogwarts as the DADA professor as a spy. I am offering you my services. I will tell you everything I learn at the meetings; I will be your spy."
"Do you know how dangerous that could be for you?"
"Yes, I do."
"It could cost you your life."
"I know."
"Your interview is next Tuesday at 1:30. Do not be late." Dumbledore turned on his heel and walked back up to the castle.
So, he would still be a teacher, Snape thought, shaking his head. No matter which path he chose, he supposed he was always destined to be a teacher.
This scene was a great contrast to the last one Snape watched. He was in a hospital watching Lily give birth alone. She was crying and in great pain. He wondered where his other self was. Not a moment after the thought popped into his head, he was transported to a home he did not recognise.
Severus was sitting on the sofa with his head in his hands. He got up and paced. He was so frustrated that he wanted to cry. They had both wanted him to be at the birth, but it was too risky so they opted for him to stay at their home until she was released from Saint Mungo's. They now lived at Godric's Hollow under the Fidelius charm. They had decided that it would be best for Poppy Pomfrey to be their secret keeper. It would have been too risky for Severus and too obvious if Dumbledore had been the Secret Keeper. Madam Pomfrey wasn't an obvious choice and was almost always at Hogwarts. It was hours later when the bright sky had turned black that he heard the floo activate. The only way anyone could get in their home was from the floo at Hogwarts. Lily walked through the fireplace with the help of Madam Pomfrey. Severus ran over to them and helped Lily into their bed. She looked exhausted.
"Look at him, Sev." She said in a soft voice. She looked at the bundle in her arms with adoration. Severus looked down at the baby and almost started crying. The baby was fast asleep and was sucking at thin air. He had black hair and his face was pale, almost translucent.
"Here, you go." She said, handing him the baby. He was speechless.
"Harry Remus Evans." They had decided on Remus for a middle name if they had a boy because he was still a good friend of Lily's and treated Severus civilly. They had also decided that Remus would be Harry's godfather.
"A boy?" He choked out happily. He looked back down at Harry and couldn't take his eyes off of him. Harry squawked and then started to whimper.
"What do I do?" He asked panicked.
"He's just hungry. Hand him over." She said, extending her arms out to him. Severus reluctantly handed the baby back to her. She took off her night shirt and Harry latched onto her breast. Severus was mesmerised.
"Oh, that feels funny." She said in surprise. Severus carefully laid down next to her. He took a strand of her hair and tucked it behind her ear.
"I love you. I'm so proud of you. I'm sorry I couldn't be there." He said remorsefully.
"Don't be. And I love you too." They kissed softly and then watched as Harry's eyes fluttered closed.
Snape cried silently as he watched the tender scene. That could have been his life! Oh, what a fool he had been. He wanted to leave, this was torture. But when his world went black and he re-appeared to another scene; he knew it was not over.
"Severus, quickly! Come see!" Severus ran from the study to the living room in a panic. Instead of the chaotic scene he was expecting, he saw his 13 month old take his first steps. After a few steps Harry fell on his bum.
"Good job Harry." Lily said, clapping her hands. Harry squealed and clapped his own little hands. Severus grabbed Harry under the armpits and swung him over his head.
"Good job Harry!" He said as he brought him down to his face and blew a raspberry on his stomach. Harry laughed and squealed: "Dada!" Severus' face lit up as he kissed his sons chubby cheek and put him back down.
"Did you catch it on camera?" He asked Lily.
"Yes, of course." She said, pointing at the video camera on the fireplace mantle. He grabbed her around the waist and kissed her. The moment was ruined when his dark mark burned. His smile dropped and he said: "I have to go." Lily nodded in understanding.
The scene changed.
Severus was nervous, his palms were disgustingly sweaty. His first course of his teaching career would be to first years. Horace Slughorn was still teaching the upper years and was still head of Slytherin house. This gave Severus time to get used to teaching. It also helped Severus because a lot of the older students still remembered him as a student. Hopefully by the end of the year no one would remember him as Snivellus, but as the fearsome Professor Snape. He opened the door to his empty classroom and walked in. Severus was rehearsing his speech once more. When he had performed it in front of Lily she hadn't been able to stop laughing. He'd stop and she'd insist he keep going. After he had finished she had exclaimed that he made it sound like he was in love with the subject. He didn't talk to her for a couple hours after that.
The first student to arrive was five minutes early. Too soon for his liking the classroom was full. He stood in front of the class and began his speech.
"You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion-making. As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses... I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death."*
Snape rolled his eyes. Of course he would still have the same speech in an alternate life. He laughed. The scene changed.
"I'm so sorry Lily." Severus said as he held her as she cried. They had just been informed that Alice and Frank Longbottom had been tortured to death. Little Neville was still alive and Voldemort was gone. But Lily had lost one of her best friends.
"Mummy?" Harry toddled over to them, half-dressed as a pumpkin (the news had come when they had been preparing him to go out for Halloween). Lily grabbed Harry and squeezed him to her.
"You're free now, Severus." She said, with a watery smile.
"Only until he comes back."
"Do you really believe he isn't truly gone?"
"That's what Dumbledore believes. Our relationship has to stay a secret until he is gone for good." Lily cried anew.
"It isn't fair." She wailed. Harry began to cry at his mother's distress.
The scene changed again and Snape stared at a four year old Harry with a Superman backpack.
"One more picture sweetheart." Lily said.
"Dad, make her stop. It's the thousandth picture she's tooken." Harry whinged. Severus laughed and Lily scowled.
"Taken, Harry. And it's the last one. Smile." Lily said. Harry gave her a fake smile. Click! It was done.
"Okay, let's go." Harry said as he grabbed his parents' hands and dragged them behind him. It was Harry's first day at a muggle primary school and Severus and Lily had deemed it safe for him to accompany Harry on the first day of school (Dumbledore was hidden by James' invisibility cloak at the school to keep an eye out for them).
The closer they got to the school the more withdrawn Harry seemed to be.
"This is your class. Give me a hug." Severus said. Harry flew to him and gave him a tight hug, then he hugged his mother.
"You be a good boy for your teachers." Lily said as her voice quavered. Harry's bottom lip started to tremble.
"I don't want to go."
"You have to baby boy. You'll make lots of friends. You'll see; it will be fun."
"No, please mummy. I don't want to go." He was holding tightly on to her.
"Severus." Lily whispered pleadingly.
"Harry, you've got to let go now and be a big boy. We'll see you at home for lunch, okay?" Because it was the children's first day of school they only had a half day. Severus was able to get Slughorn to teach for him on this Wednesday (it was only two classes of double potions) so that he could be with Lily and Harry on Harry's first day of school.
Severus had to pry Harry off of Lily and hand him to the teacher. They left before Harry could see them go, but they still heard his wail.
"Mummy!" Lily broke down crying.
"We'll pick him up in a few hours, Lily. He'll be okay." She nodded and sniffled into his shirt. Lily was morose for the rest of the morning and Severus could not do anything about it. When it was 11:59 they apparated near the school and found Harry putting on his coat with all the other little children.
"Mummy! Daddy!" He yelled out excitedly before rapidly recounting his day to them. Severus observed that Lily was smiling happily down at their son.
"But, there was this boy and he wasn't very nice and..." Lily hadn't been watching where she was walking and walked into a slim woman.
"Oh, I'm so... Petunia?" Lily asked in surprise. Severus abruptly stopped walking and grabbed onto his son's hand as he stared at Lily's sister.
"Lily?" She said in astonishment as her eyes travelled towards Harry and then up to Severus' face. She gasped.
"You're with the Snape boy?" She yelled in outrage.
"I thought you were still married to that Potter prat!"
"Tuney, not here, please. Let's talk elsewhere."
"We have nothing to talk about." She spat and turned her nose up.
"Dudders, come to mummy. We're going home now."
"That's the mean boy." Harry whispered to Severus.
"You can say good-bye to the children here; you'll be going to a different school now." Petunia said angrily.
"But mum."
"No, buts. Apparently uncultured pigs go to this school. I will not have my son associating with them. Come along Dudley." She elbowed Severus on the way out of the school. Lily had a hurt expression.
"Lily, don't listen to her, she's just..."
"I know." She sniffed.
Snape was angry, but not surprised that Lily's sister could be that cruel. The scene changed once more.
Severus was sitting on their bed as he watched Lily pace.
"I can't believe we let this happen. So foolish." She fumed.
"Maybe it's not such a bad thing." He said. Lily looked at him with sad eyes.
"No, it's not. But we were lucky that Harry looked more like me then you, what if this baby looks more like you? It's hard enough keeping our relationship from the wizarding world, but how am I going to explain another baby?"
"One night stand?" He shrugged.
"Oh, yes. Not only am I a muggleborn, but a harlot."
"I don't know what to say Lily. Do you have any better suggestions?"
"No." She shook her head sadly and hugged him tighter.
"I'm happy about this baby." He said.
"Me too. We're having another baby." And they kissed.
The scene changed.
"Come here, Harry." Severus whispered to his eight year old son.
"Sit down." He said, and then handed him the little baby.
"She's so small." Harry said.
"You were that small once Harry."
"No way." He said in disbelief. Severus nodded.
"What's her name?"
"Rose Alice Evans."
"I like it." Harry said. Rose started to fuss.
"Uh..." He said, not knowing what to do. Severus grabbed Rose and rocked her until she quieted and then put her in the bassinet next to Lily.
"Can no one know you're her dad too?" Harry asked sadly. Severus looked up in surprise. His son was a little too perceptive for his age.
"No, they can't Harry."
"Why?"
"It's complicated."
"I'm smart." He retorted. Severus sighed in exasperation.
"When you were little there was a bad man and he was after you and your mum." He started. "I pretended to work for him. Dumbledore says that one day he will come back and he cannot know that I am not really working for him. Do you understand?"
Harry nodded his head as if he understood. Severus sighed.
"Why don't we give your sister a tour of the house?"
"Okay!" Harry said excitedly.
Snape stared at Lily on her bed as she dozed peacefully. He could hear Harry speak as they toured their house.
"...and this is my room. You can come in here whenever you want, put you can't break anything. Oh, and don't touch my potions kit. It's dangerous, right dad?"
"Right." He heard his alternate self say.
Snape sighed and the scene changed.
"Gryffindor!" The hat yelled. Harry smiled and got up from the stool to join his new house mates. Severus had a small smile on his face; he won the bet against Lily. Harry quickly looked up at the head table and gave his father a smirk.
...
Severus ran to the infirmary in a panic. Dumbledore had just informed him that several students from Gryffindor had been brought up to the infirmary, including Harry. He sighed in relief when he saw Harry eating from a box of chocolates. His head was wrapped with a bandage and his right arm was in a sling, but he was alive and that's all that mattered. Severus looked around himself and only saw a small redhead fast asleep in the next bed. Severus cast a muffliato just in case.
"Harry, of all the foolish things... What were you thinking going after Quirrel?"
"We tried to tell, but no one would listen!"
"We had things under control Harry. We knew what was happening. It wasn't up to you and your foolish friends to confront him. You could have gotten killed!" He fumed.
"I'm sorry, dad, but we couldn't just let Neville go by himself-"
"So you're blaming Neville now..."
"No! I'm just saying that we all decided to do it and now Quirrel's gone and we're all okay. I don't regret doing it." He said petulantly.
"10 points from Gryffindor for your sheer stupidity." Harry looked affronted.
"Your mother is not going to be very pleased with me or you about this." Severus sighed.
"I am relieved that no serious damage has been caused to your person." He hugged Harry tightly.
"Ow, dad." Harry protested.
"I love you, you little trouble maker." Harry rolled his eyes.
"Love you too dad." Severus got up from the bed and opened the curtains.
"Oh, and you're grounded for the rest of the summer." Harry groaned.
Snape smirked and the scene changed.
Select members of the Order of the Phoenix were gathered for a meeting at Sirius Black's home. Only select members of the Order had been informed of Severus and Lily's relationship; which were the remaining members of the Marauders, of course, McGonagall, Shacklebolt and Mr & Mrs Weasley. It was quite the awkward affair, in Severus' opinion. James Potter sat between his two best friends across the table from Severus and Lily. James tried avoiding eye contact with Lily as much as possible and Sirius glared furiously at Severus. Remus, ever the peacekeeper, tried to keep his friends attention on his conversation.
Severus could hear Harry and the Weasley boys playing loudly upstairs. Ginny, Rose and Hermione were together in Sirius' library.
"I'm glad to see everyone could make it." Dumbledore said jovially as he walked into the room.
"Thank you for the biscuits, Molly. They're divine. As most of you know we are hiring a new Defense against the Dark Arts teacher this year. I am happy to announce that the new Professor is our very own Remus Lupin." Remus grinned as everyone slapped him on the back.
"Nice, Moony!"
"Proud of you, mate."
"Pray tell, how do we deal with his, shall we say, furry little problem?" Severus interrupted their happy congratulations. The room fell silent. Lily stomped on his foot.
"That's where you come in Severus. When Remus is unavailable to teach you will teach in his place. I'm sure you wouldn't have any problems with that." Dumbledore said jovially. Severus grumbled a no. Lily put her hand on his and squeezed it. She knew how much he wanted the DADA post and Albus always refused to give it to him.
"Now onto more serious news. Peter Pettigrew has managed to escape from Azkaban; the Prophet, at my request, will post this tomorrow morning. "We still are unsure as to how he was able to escape-"
"He's an animagus; a rat!" James cried out.
"A rat?" Dumbledore asked intrigued.
"Yes. I can't believe we forgot to tell you. He's an unregistered animagus. But I thought there was magic in Azkaban to prevent that."
"There is." Dumbledore said gravely. "Someone must have disabled those charms for him to escape."
...
Severus was observing Sirius' family tapestry and glared at Bellatrix Lestrange's name. She had almost killed his son and Miss Granger a few months back. Severus never liked the witch and wished her dead. He resented the fact that now his summers would be consumed with Death Eater meetings and it made him sick to think of the things he had to watch. Severus was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard his son's voice.
"Oof, sorry, Mr Potter! Rosie, give that back! It's mine!" He heard a squeal and banging feet as they ran. He'd need to break them apart again. Recently Rose had started stealing Harry's things so that she could get more of his attention. She didn't like it that Harry spent so much time with Ginny Weasley. He started walking down the hall when he saw James's back as he stared down the hall at his children.
"Potter." He said as a greeting. James turned around and looked at Severus with sad, empty eyes. Severus cleared his throat.
"Look, you'll uh... find someone... that is nice for you and have your own children one day. Professor Burbage has a liking for you, maybe you can uh... ask her to ...go out with you." Severus cleared his throat again and stood up straighter.
"Stop staring at my kids with that pathetic wounded dog expression." James stared at him blankly. Severus started to walk away.
"They should have been mine." James said quietly. Severus stopped walking, thought better of it, and followed the noise of his squabbling children.
...
"He keeps staring at them." Severus told Lily one weekend night after an Order meeting. Lily sighed.
"I don't know what to say, Severus. I can't exactly control where he stares. He's just sad and lonely."
"Yes, but he gives me the creeps."
"Ugh, Severus, he's not staring at them in a perverted way. He's just being wishful."
"Wishful?" He asked skeptically.
"Ugh, you're impossible. Just go to bed." He was silent for a minute.
"Maybe you could convince Remus to get him a date." Lily hit him with her pillow.
...
Dumbledore was dead. Severus felt like screaming and crying and he didn't know what. He had just killed Dumbledore and Neville Longbottom had seen him do it. His son would undoubtedly know by now. He would hate him. And Lily... Severus had promised Dumbledore not to tell a soul about their plan and that included Lily. She would feel betrayed and heartbroken. Severus turned around to apparate and saw Harry helping Neville up from the ground. Harry's disbelieving eyes met his and Severus tried to convey to him his regret. Harry's eyes turned hard and Severus apparated.
...
He had heard murmurs that Neville, Harry, Hermione and Ron were on the run. Severus was constantly worried over Harry's wellbeing and tried to help him as much as he could without being detected. He hadn't heard a word from Lily since he had killed Dumbledore. Today was the only day that he could get away from the castle without being detected. He apparated to Godric's Hollow and watched his home from behind some trees. Lily was sitting on their sofa, staring vacantly into the fireplace. Rose was on her stomach, drawing something. She kept looking up at Lily, as if to say something, then thought better of it and continued drawing. Severus couldn't stay there anymore; he needed to see them. He walked to the house and went to open the door. It was locked. The door always unlocked when he put his hand on the knob. He tried opening it again but it would not budge. Lily must have changed the wards around the house. He took a deep breath to stabilise his emotions. He knocked hesitantly on the door. Lily peeked through the window and her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. She said something to Rose and she left the living room. The door opened.
Severus felt a sharp sting against his cheek. He looked at Lily in shock; she had slapped him. She had her hand over her mouth and she was sobbing. He stepped into the house and closed the door. He reached out a hand to her.
"Don't. Touch. Me." She said, looking fiercely up at him. Severus felt his heart stutter in his chest.
"Lily." He said pleadingly.
"How could you?!" She yelled out and started wailing.
"I thought... I thought that you were on our side. Dumbledore did nothing but help you. Did you do it for the power? To become headmaster?!" She sounded hysterical. She took a shaky breath to calm herself.
"Harry's gone and I have no clue if he's dead or alive. This is your fault and I hate you." She yelled out, hitting him over and over against his chest. He let her do it. After a few minutes, he wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her to him. He was surprised she didn't protest.
"I loved you." She said softly and Severus couldn't bear it anymore.
"Harry is safe. I've been keeping an eye on him. I can't tell you where he is, but know he's safe. I've been helping him whenever I can." He took a shaky breath. "Dumbledore" he choked, "Dumbledore was dying because of a cursed ring. He only had, maybe, another year left to live. The Dark Lord sent Draco on an impossible mission; to find a way for Death Eaters to get into the castle and kill Dumbledore. Narcissa came to me when I was brewing at Spinner's End. I made an unbreakable vow with her that I would protect her son. Dumbledore also made me promise that when the time came, I would kill him and not allow Draco to do it. I didn't want to kill him." Tears silently slipped down his face. "Believe me I didn't. And I especially didn't want to become Headmaster. I know I don't deserve that position. And everyone now hates me; even Poppy and I cannot tell anyone of my true allegiance. But, I couldn't bear for you not to know." He paused. "I'm going to die, Lily. I know it. And I'm sorry." Lily stared at him in shock.
"Oh... oh my God. You're not... you're not on You-Know-Who's side?"
"No, never. I despise him." Lily sobbed in relief. Severus sat on the ground, leaning against the door as he held Lily.
"Does Harry know?"
"No." He said, staring heavenwards as he tried not to let the traitorous tears leave his eyes.
"You're not going to die. I won't let it happen." And he kissed her. He let her know through the kiss how much he loved her, how much he regretted not being with her now and how much he would miss her. Because he knew this was their goodbye.
"I love you." He rasped.
"I love you too." She hiccoughed.
"There was something I wanted to tell you-"
"Daddy?" Rose's hopeful voice came from the hallway.
"Rose." He whispered.
"Daddy!" She ran to him and crashed into his arms.
"I missed you so much daddy. Are you home for good now?"
"I'm afraid not, Rosie."
"Can I come with you, then?"
"No sweetheart. You have to stay here with your mum and keep her safe and happy. I love you." He kissed her cheek and held onto her tight.
"Love you too daddy. Can..." Severus' Dark Mark burned.
"I have to go." He said sadly.
"But daddy!"
"Rose." Lily said and Rose shut her mouth. Severus got up and gave Rose one last hug and kiss. Then he turned to Lily and kissed her once more.
"I love you both very much." He stepped out of the door and apparated away.
Snape could barely contain his own sadness at the scene. He wished to leave. "I've got the message!" He yelled to no one in particular. But he felt the familiar pull of another changing scene and resigned himself to his fate.
The next scene he watched was his death scene. Snape shuddered when he watched the snake tear into his alternate self's throat. He put his own hand over his own throat and remembered the excruciating pain of that moment. He was overwhelmed by the scene. Three young adults ran into the Shrieking Shack. He noticed that Harry was not among them. The other Severus gave Neville his memories and then he closed his eyes. He sighed in relief when his surroundings became dark again, but was surprised when he came upon another scene.
Harry was lying in a cot, with Lily holding his hand. Every so often she would run her fingers through his hair, sigh deeply, look around with a hopeful expression and then she would return to staring at his face.
"Hurry, Mr Longbottom! Time is of the essence!" Snape turned around from where he stood and saw Poppy hold a cloth to his other self's neck and Neville levitating him. Lily got up to see what the commotion was about and saw Severus drenched in blood. She ran to his side.
"Oh Merlin, Severus! What can I do?"
"Get me three bottles of blood-replenishing potion and a bottle of anti-venom. He's been bit by a snack."
"Voldemort's snake. The venom is deadly." Neville added and Lily blanched. She ran to the infirmary potions supply closet and hurriedly grabbed the potions.
"Give him the anti-venom first. Then two bottles of blood-replenishing potion." Madam Pomfrey said and she looked at the wound and cringed.
"We'll need more blood-replenishing potions and some dittany, Ms Evans." Lily ran off again.
"Do you think he'll make it?" Neville whispered. Poppy took a shaky sigh.
"I am hoping he will, but the odds of him surviving such an attack..." She shook her head sadly.
"Press against the wound here, dear. Don't touch the blood." She said as she administered the third blood-replenishing potion. Lily came back with the dittany.
"Oh good." Poppy started applying it. The skin sizzled as the dittany touched it, but it slowly started to knit itself back together again. She let out a sigh of relief.
"We just wait now. Give him more blood-replenishing potion in a half-hour and another dose of anti-venom in an hour. If he makes it through the night, the odds of him living are pretty good." Neville levitated Severus' cot next to Harry.
"Thank you." She said to him. Next to her, Harry groaned. Lily turned around to look at her son.
"Mum?" He asked her blearily.
"Harry." She cried and kissed him all over his face.
"Ugh, what happened?"
"Percy told me that you and Fred were hit by a falling wall."
"Ow," he said pathetically, "where's Fred?"
"Last time I saw him he was unconscious, but alive." Harry sighed deeply.
"Percy said that if you hadn't run to him, he would have been crushed. That was very brave of you, but never ever do that again!" She started crying. "Poppy said your legs will be mended by tomorrow evening and that you'll feel a little woozy for the next week." She squeezed him in a tight hug. That's when Harry saw his father.
"Dad!" He cried. He tried getting out of his cot but his legs wouldn't move.
"He's not...?" Harry asked worriedly.
"No, but he's very ill. Voldemort's snake bit him," Harry's eyes widened, "if he makes it through the night he should be alright." Harry sighed in relief, then he began to look angry.
"I hate him. Why did he-"
"He didn't Harry! He was always on our side." Harry looked up at her in surprise. Lily told him what Severus had told her.
"But, what if he's lying?" Harry whispered, looking tired.
"He wasn't. He's a good man and he loves you and your sister. He would never turn his back on us." Lily felt like an immense hypocrite for saying this when just months before she had believed him to be a traitor. Harry sighed wearily and lay back down.
"I'm gonna go to sleeee" and he was asleep. Lily grabbed Severus' hand.
It had been a gruelling night for Snape as he watched Lily administer drug after drug into his body through the night and she never slept. In the morning Neville came to visit Harry.
"Hey Harry."
"Hi Neville. How are you?"
"Better then you are mate. Just relieved this is all over."
"Yeah." Harry nodded in agreement.
"Why didn't you ever tell me Snape was your dad?" Neville asked with a hurt tone.
"How do you know that?" Harry exclaimed.
"He gave me his memories right after he was bit by Nagini. I guess he thought he wouldn't make it..." Harry sniffed.
"Oh... I wanted to tell you. But mum and dad said it was best not to tell you because of your connection with Voldemort. If he saw that, he would have killed my dad." Neville nodded in understanding.
"Who else knows?"
"Most of the Order, some of the Weasley's and Hermione. But I swear, she figured it out by herself." Neville looked slightly hurt.
"Now that the wars done, is everyone gonna know?"
"Yeah. Mum and dad'll be relieved. They hated not be able to go out together with us."
"Us?"
"Oh, yeah, my little sister Rose."
"I thought she had a different dad."
"No, they just said that for the papers."
"Oh." Neville laughed. "This is weird. I always thought Snape's son would be this big grouchy git." Harry laughed too.
It was a week later that Severus finally awoke. A lot of things had changed in that week. Once Severus was stable enough they had moved him back to their home. Harry found out that he had a little brother who was only 3 months old. Harry fell in love with him instantly. Rose was very happy to have her big brother back and kept complaining that having a little brother was not as much fun as she had thought. Harry had also gotten back together with Ginny and they were now engaged; it was going to be a long engagement. Harry had been brewing some murtlap essence and strengthening solution when he heard a groan coming from his parents' room. Harry put a stasis charm over the potion and rushed to his parents' room. Severus was trying to sit up but he looked very disoriented.
"Harry?" He slurred his name.
"Dad, lay back down or you'll open your wound again."
"Wha...? Hurts." He complained.
"I know. Drink this." Harry said, handing him a potion from his bed side table.
"Better." He gasped. "Water?" Harry summoned a cup and said "aguamenti".
"Drink it slowly." He said, as he tipped the cup over his mouth. Once he was done, he asked: "Lily?"
"Uh, I'll go get her." Harry knocked on the door to the nursery. Lily opened the door and Harry blushed furiously and looked away. She was breastfeeding the baby and it embarrassed Harry to see her do this.
"Dad's awake. He's asking for you." Lily gasped and handed him the baby. The baby made a noise of protest but fell back asleep when he was settled in Harry's arms. Harry walked to his parents' room and listened in on their conversation. He could hear his mother crying.
"I was so worried..."
"S'okay... here now." He saw them kiss and looked away again in embarrassment. Severus caught him looking though and gave him a smirk. The smile fell when he saw the baby.
"Did you have a baby Harry?" He asked in an odd voice.
"N-no!" Harry exclaimed, his eyes growing wide in shock. The baby started to cry at his outburst. Lily got up and grabbed him. She rocked him for a few seconds and he fell back asleep. Severus was looking at her oddly.
"Severus... This is our son. I wanted to tell you about him when you came by in October, but we hadn't had the time." She said sadly. She tipped her arms over so he could see him. He smiled softly as he took in the baby's features. He had black hair, pale skill and a small nose. He looked a lot like Harry did when he was a baby.
"His name?" He asked, getting chocked up with emotions.
"He doesn't have one yet. I didn't want to pick one until you were home." Severus smiled up at her sadly. Just then the baby opened his eyes and Severus gasped. Instead of seeing the green eyes he was expecting to see he saw dark brown ones just like Rose's. Lily looked down at the baby who was staring inquiringly at the man before him.
"He looks a lot like you."
"Hope he doesn't get my nose." Lily chuckled.
"Your nose isn't so bad. I happen to like it." Harry rolled his eyes and left the room to continue brewing but Snape stayed behind to watch the scene.
"He looks like a Devin."
"Devin?"
"It means gift." Lily looked down at the baby and smiled.
"I like that. Devin Severus Snape." Severus looked at her in surprise.
"Once everything settles down, the kids are changing their names to Snape." Severus smiled happily and kissed her.
"Marry me." He said breathlessly.
"Yes."
Snape sighed wearily and knew what was coming next.
"We've had a good life, haven't we?" Asked an older looking Snape.
"Yes." The woman said sadly. "A very good life." Snape realised it was an older Lily; a Lily that could never be because she died at the young age of 21. Severus coughed violently.
"I'm glad." He said.
"I love you daddy." Said a middle aged Rose.
"Love you too, my Rosie."
"Love you dad." Harry said squeezing his other hand.
"I love you dad." Devin said and kissed his cheek.
"I love you all too. Be good, okay? Don't feed your kids too much sugar. Merlin knows I regretted doing that with you three." He started to laugh but was overtaken by a coughing fit. Blood dribbled down his lip. Lily quickly wiped it away. They stayed with him until his very last moment. Severus Snape took his last breath at 4:06 pm, May 2nd 2096.
Snape was crying when he reappeared in front of his mother.
*Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone Ch. 8 pg 136 & 137
Also, I didn't add a description of Rose's looks but I pictured her as looking like the little girl who played Lily in the movie (red hair and brown eyes).
So, it's a little longer than I expected it to be. I hope everyone enjoyed it. And please review! It did take me a long time to write this... Anyway, here's a scene I wanted to put into this chapter, but it didn't really quite fit anywhere. I got this idea from nowhere and thought it was a little funny. And anyway, I'm sure some of you are wondering what happened to James in this alternate world.
Severus was walking down the hall of Grimmauld place for their monthly Order meeting. It had been a year and a half since the war but they kept up the meetings in case anything cropped up. Severus could hear suspicious noises coming from the library. When he heard a woman scream he broke out into a run. He opened the door to the library and his eyes widened in shock. James Potter had his trousers down to his ankles and a familiar bushy haired witch was straddled to his lap.
"Professor!" She yelled out in shock.
"Miss Granger! Cover yourself." He turned around and listened to them arranging their clothing.
"James Potter you should be ashamed of yourself... fraternizing with a child!"
"I'm not a child!" He glared at her.
"She's old enough to be your daughter for Merlin's sake! Are you really this desperate? You disgust me! How long has this been going on?"
"This is none of your business Snape! And you're one to talk; you slept with a married woman!"
"That's different! We are the same age and I was in love with her since I was eleven."
"And I've been in love with her for four years!"
"What?" Hermione gasped.
"You're disgusting! I always thought you were pathetic, but not a paedophile!"
"I'm not, god damn it! She was sixteen and nothing happened between us until a couple months ago." Severus scowled.
"Disgusting!" He spat out. "Is there anything that I can say that would persuade you otherwise, Miss Granger?"
"No." She said softly. "I'm in love with him."
And to Severus' chagrin they were married a year later and had their first child two years after that.
Sorry to those who ship Romione, I just needed to write this scene...