A/N: Well, there's not really much to say. Did everyone have a good Christmas? Or if you're Jewish, Hunakah? Personally, i'm looking forward to the New Year. Just another way we can tell ourselves things to change, that never really work, or we never really stick to... You know, resolutions and stuff. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I promise, in Part Two, secrets will be revealed... well to Blaine by Burt and Kurt anyway... Enjoy. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.
Chapter Nine: Roots before Branches Part One
Valentine's Day... the one day of the year where sappy romance is acceptable, and no one can judge another person on how romantic they are... Kurt's least favourite day of the year... well, suppose he can't say that anymore... he has Blaine, and it's going to be the first time he'll have a Valentines he actually will enjoy... as long as Blaine doesn't drop the three words Kurt knows he will say at some point. Rachel suggested asking Blaine to move in with him... but given the circumstances, and trying to avoid the three words he doesn't want to hear... he didn't think that a good idea... It would be easier for Blaine... rather than swapping between houses... and having Wes and David's problems dropped on your head like a brick... Kurt thought, as he indicated to turn left at the intersection heading in the direction of the office... Holly was at school, Blaine had stayed the night, and offered to take her with him that morning... she was super excited to be going to school with Blaine, and woke them both up at five-thirty, just to get Kurt to make her breakfast and get her ready... Kurt smiled at the memory, but was shaken out of his thoughts by the sound of a car horn behind him... he hadn't been paying attention to the lights... quickly pulling away and turning down the street, he couldn't help but let his mind drift to the court case next month... another thing, on his long list... that he has to worry about... his boyfriend dropping 'I love you' the main one... Rachel would think me crazy for acting like this... he thought, pulling into the car park at Hudmel-Lopez and Co, getting out of the car, and heading into the building. He didn't greet Marnie at the front desk, hurrying to the elevator to the top floor... the air conditioner hitting him as he stepped into the foyer and was greeted by an ever growing Quinn... six months in, and she's ready to pop... yet she's absolutely radiant...
Kurt doesn't make small talk with his sister-in-law this morning, but she follows him in to the office, and runs through his schedule... Kurt's mind isn't on anything Quinn is saying, and he feels bad for making her come into work on Valentine's day... he knows that Finn is planning something special, which is exactly why he asked her to come in... She knows that he knows something... and he hates being in the middle of anything... let alone his brother and sister-in-law... the ringing of a cell phone knocks them both back into reality... Quinn smiles, and winks at him, before turning and leaving his office... Kurt doesn't bother checking to see who is calling... he knows it's Blaine, letting him know that he and Holly got to school together... ever since New Years, Blaine has been sending him mixed signals about different things... first, he changed the sign off he uses in text messages... from a simple smiley face, to a love heart... knock knock... who's there?... rightinfrontofyou... rightinfrontofyou who? The signs are right in front of you Kurt... the voice in the back of his head told him as he smiled at the wallpaper Blaine had snuck onto the phone... the two of them pulling weird faces, with Holly in between them...
To: Blaine Anderson
Thank you for letting me know you got to school okay. Would hate to think you were swarmed by photographers... Give Holly a kiss for me... and tell her that I'll be there to pick her up...
From: Kurt Hummel
He thought about putting a heart, or winkey face at the end, but it didn't seem appropriate, considering where Blaine was, and given the fact that it's Valentine's day, and also their four month anniversary, it means that there is more pressure on them to find the perfect gift, or plan the perfect night... if Kurt had it his way, they would sit on the couch, with junk food, sappy rom-coms and do absolutely nothing... but he knows that Blaine has something planned, because Nick accidently let it slip the other day, when Kurt decided that he needed to get to know Blaine's friends, like Blaine knows his... he and Nick have become quite good friends... he knows about Nick's marriage to Jeff, and their thoughts about raising children... Kurt couldn't help but be amused by some of the stories Nick told him about Blaine in highschool... the Lead Singer of the Dalton Academy Warblers... and totally crushing on Wes... oh you have to hold that against him... Kurt thought, jumping slightly when his phone buzzed with a text from Blaine...
To: Kurt Hummel
I'm in the middle of a meeting. I have something special planned for tonight, given that it is our four month anniversary, and Valentine's Day all on one magnificent night... Don't worry; I have left Holly in Puck's capable hands... I would have left her with Wes and David... but who knows what will happen ;) Talk to you later 3
From: Blaine Anderson
Kurt sighed... maybe if he points out to Blaine how he's ending the text messages, it will go away? Or, it might just make him say it out loud... either way, you're fucked... Kurt thought, chuckling at himself... he's not really one to swear out loud... but when it's just him, there are no boundaries as to where his mind might wander off too... including thoughts of what his boyfriend has planned, and whether or not it includes being naked... Blaine Anderson, what have you done to me?
It turns out, the surprise Blaine had planned for the two of them, meant they didn't have to leave Kurt's house... the designer pulled his jacket off, and hung it up on the rack by the door, placing his keys on the hall table, and toeing off his shoes at the door, so he would know to pick them up later... there was no sign of life anywhere... until Kurt walked into the kitchen, to find Blaine, sitting at the bench, an innocent expression on his face, whilst outside on the back patio, was a table set for two, with candles, music, flowers... the whole shebang... m he hadn't had anything like this with Sebastian... their Valentine's consisted of swapping a card, sex, and then rolling over to go to sleep, as both had to work the next day... Sebastian never cooked for him... never did anything like this for him... It's irresistible... isn't it Kurt? You might just feel something more than... Adoration for Mr. Anderson? Is that what this is Kurt? Him sending you messages, and you trying your hardest to ignore the shit out of those bitches? If Kurt could have told himself to shut the fuck up without Blaine thinking him crazy, he would have found a way... given that he didn't have a way... he thought it be better, if he just keep his mouth closed... and enjoy the dinner Blaine had made for them...
'This is your idea of special Anderson? My, I do worship how you adore me...' Kurt said, and then caught himself when Blaine raised an eyebrow at him, and smirked, before winking and taking his hand...
'I do more than adore you Kurt... I...'
'Let's eat shall we?' Kurt replied, cutting Blaine off mid-sentence...
'Yes, let's eat...' Blaine replied, sitting opposite Kurt, and smiling... but Kurt didn't miss the way his face fell and the tone of his voice after Kurt had cut his sentence off...
They ended up curled up together on the couch, a bunch of movies spread out on the floor, just waiting to be watched. Blaine had made popcorn, and brought wine... it was unlike any other valentine's day Kurt had had... ever... no one had ever done this for him... That rush of emotion you feel when you realise a feeling you've never felt before... that's what Kurt was experiencing... for once in his life... he could admit to himself that he knew that feeling... that he liked that feeling and wanted it to stay forever... but the part of his brain programmed to say it out loud... it was working against him... instead, he moved so that he could kiss Blaine, a soft, adoring kiss at first, but as Kurt let his emotions take over, he knew it would end badly... the kiss became more heated, and the popcorn and wine was discarded on the coffee table, in favour of making out with one another on the couch, in the lounge. Kurt had promised himself he would never do that... then again... who gives a flying fuck what he does in his own house, with his boyfriend... it's his life... he's twenty-five... old enough to know what's going on... he doesn't see what he should be limited in the things he's doing, just because he's unable to tell Blaine out loud... instead, maybe he can show the man... after all, isn't the saying 'actions speak louder than words?'. Neither seem too fazed by anything at the moment, as they make their way hap-hazardly, to Kurt's bedroom, pulling at clothes along the way, never breaking their kissing... it's a feat in itself... Kurt thinks, as Blaine straddles him on the bed...
The moment it all fell apart, Kurt knew, he couldn't sweet talk his way out of it. Blaine hadn't been doing anything particularly involving, they were just lying curled together in bed, naked, and holding each other. Kurt's not even sure if he meant to say the three words, but he did... the soft tenor voice that Kurt had come to crave pressed against his cheek as he whispered the words, like saying them any louder would cause some cataclysmic event to occur... that's almost what happened however... Kurt doesn't say the words back... he knew this wouldn't go in his favour... he knows that his brother is right... he can't say them... but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel it... when he goes to bed alone at night, he can feel that Blaine is meant to be by his side... he knows they're meant to be together... but he can't shake the feeling of saying those words out loud meaning the end of their relationship... he doesn't want this to ever end... he's afraid... that's plain and simple. Nothing else, just fear. He doesn't say anything, just sits up and gets out of bed, heading into the lounge, pacing, mumbling something to himself that Blaine can't hear or understand... he's a little shocked... there are more secrets to Kurt than meets the eye... one of them, is that he didn't say 'I love you too Blaine'... the tenor thought, as he stood in the doorway, only in sweats, his discarded shirt still hanging from the lamp in the corner of the room.
'What's going on Kurt? You kind of look freaked out...'
'I'm trying to process everything... It's not just me I have to think about Blaine... its Holly. What happens when... if... this thing fails? What happens, when you wake up one morning, and realise that you haven't done anything you've wanted and you leave? What am I meant to tell Holly...? How am I meant to tell her that her... You can't do this to me...' Kurt managed to say, fighting back the tears that were threatening to fall
'Is it so hard for you to believe that you are allowed to be loved Kurt? You've never told me about your last relationship, so I don't understand what you're talking about, but when I said that I loved you... I meant it... I'm not walking away from this... I love Holly too you know...' Blaine replied, moving so he could cup Kurt's cheek, only to have the designer back away
'Why do you say these things? How can you... take away all the pain and hurt, and just make everything feel okay again? How am I meant to trust you, when I can't even trust myself?' Kurt asked, not holding back with the tears this time
'I love you Kurt Hummel, and if I have to prove it to you, then I will. Please, let me be the one who saves you...' Blaine asked, pulling Kurt into a passionate kiss, which the designer, thankfully, returned.
As they parted for breathe, they didn't say anything. Kurt moved silently into the kitchen to make coffee, leaving Blaine alone to ponder what had just happened. Sure, they hadn't been together that long, but Blaine had never felt this way about another man since... well ever... Kurt moves him; he's not just someone he'd be able to live without... Blaine wants Kurt... in every aspect and meaning possible... since the first night he'd stayed here, a week after he and Kurt had started dating, he'd always wondered about the secrets Kurt has, that he's never told anyone... the literal scars on his back, the story of his life... highschool... previous partners... Holly... he hasn't mentioned anything about it... Blaine hasn't even been introduced to Kurt's friends or family. He's still curious about the uncle that Holly keeps referring to, who hugged her that day in the mall, but he's never been able to put a name to the face, so he doesn't know anything, except for the fact that Kurt's mega rich, and is awesome in bed... which is a plus... he's a mystery... surrounded by heartbreak... Blaine thought, moving to sit at the island counter and watch his boyfriend move gracefully around the kitchen, like a dance...Kurt was aware that Blaine was watching him, eyes digging into the back of his skull. How was he meant to face him after the 'declaration of love?' Kurt had long ago given up on the notion of such things, but to have this man, willingly tell him that he'd do anything to prove he loved Kurt, and to actually want to feel that with him... it was a new sensation with Blaine... he'd never felt this way with Sebastian ever... sure, there was lust, and they said 'I love you', and maybe at some point in their relationship, it actually became love, but it's different with Blaine... Kurt can feel it...
If Rachel were here, she'd tell him that he's being stupid, and of course he's allowed to be loved, and to have this man love him, and to love him back. It's not a crime, and it's not wrong to want to have someone who makes you feel like that... everyone should have that person... but Kurt's afraid... he doesn't only have him to think about... he has Holly. He's never been the 'one-night-stand' kind of guy, and he doesn't want that ever, but to bring any man into Holly's life... he has to make sure that he's not going to, as Finn and Puck now say "pull a Smythe". Kurt can't help but chuckle to himself, and in that moment, make a decision... if he wants to trust Blaine, he has to know that Blaine is going to be there for them, and isn't going to, for use of a better term "pull a Smythe". He turns to face his boyfriend, who is no longer watching him, but flipping through MerBerry Magazine, stopping every few pages to read something. Kurt has the chance to ask now, but it's best leaving it until after he's called Burt... might be better that way... then he can have someone else on hand, who will ultimately, make sure he's making the right choices, concerning both him and Holly.
After they've eaten the remainder of their dinner, in a stony silence mind you, Blaine leaves to the bedroom to have a shower, and Kurt pulls his cell from his bag on the chair, and calls his father. Burt answers on the third ring, in his usual cheerful tone, (considering the time and all) and listens as Kurt pitches his idea for Blaine and him to travel to Lima with Holly over the weekend. Burt's ecstatic about the idea of seeing his granddaughter, and meeting the man who Kurt has been dating for the past four months... Kurt makes the arrangements, and hangs up, just as Blaine emerges from the bedroom, hair still damp, but fully dressed, holding his bag in his hands, and moving to sit and pull his shoes on. He's leaving... only because he has to go home and get clothes... he wouldn't, if you asked him to move in... There's too much going on, and we've only been going out four months... so, he loves you... and you know you love him... you know it's true... Kurt's mind tells him, as he watches Blaine pull his jacket on, and move back towards the bedroom... it's now or never... the worst he can say is no right...?
'Blaine, I was just um... wondering... if you're not busy this weekend, if you'd like to come to Lima with myself and Holly to visit my um... parents,' Kurt stuttered, as Blaine turned around so quick, Kurt thought he might fall over
'You're asking me to meet your parents?' Blaine asked, taking another step closer to Kurt, who was... blushing?
'Only if you'd like to... you don't have to. I just thought...'
'Kurt, I'd be honoured...' Blaine replied, pulling Kurt into another kiss, which the designer returned with twice the force as before.
Their midnight snack, and shower, led to them curled back up in bed, a movie playing in the background, whilst they watched in silence, every now and then, one would comment on something, and the other would agree or disagree... in other words... it's awkward... Blaine doesn't have any reason to believe that Kurt returns his feelings, because he hasn't said the words back... maybe if they go see Burt and Carole, then he'll be able to sort out his head, and come to a decision about either telling Blaine the truth, saying the three words, or asking him to move in... Who knows, Burt might convince his son to do all three... he is that powerful... just ask Finn... somewhere in this train of thought, Kurt fell asleep, arm draped over Blaine's chest, and he lay on his stomach, head tucked into the crook of Blaine's shoulder and arm. The teacher smiled, and lightly kissed Kurt's temple, whispering 'I love you' into his ear, and flicking the TV off... if he couldn't get his boyfriend to admit the words out loud, then he would at least make Kurt work to show him that he does feel the same way... even though, deep down, Blaine knows that Kurt loves him back... it's part of the reason he's so mysterious... that's part of the charm Blaine... the reason he can't say it... he's mysterious... and you know you're intrigued by it... he thought, smirking to himself, and snuggling down under the cover...
They woke in the morning, to a small person, standing in between them, hands across her chest, a smile on her face... as she poked both their cheeks to get them to wake up...Kurt sat up, grabbing his daughter, scooping her up over his shoulder, and getting out of the warm bed to run around the room with her, Blaine just laughing and taking in the news that he was going to meet his boyfriend's parents... oh shit... then the dread sunk in... What if they don't like me? I'm pretty sure, from the pictures I've seen, that Kurt's father owns some kind of... weapon... Blaine thought, being knocked out of his own mind by Kurt kissing his cheek, and a five year old latching onto him, begging to be held and twirled around in a special 'Blaine Twister' that Holly loved so much. Kurt smiled, just watching the two, before moving off to shower and ready for the day. He returned to the lounge after his shower to find his daughter colouring at the table, hair brushed and dressed. Blaine was on the phone, most likely to Wes, who had been having trouble with David, and would call Blaine for advice... most of it he could work out himself, and Kurt's not the type of person to get jealous of one's best-friend, but he wishes the other man would work out his problems and leave them alone... or at least, Blaine alone, for like... two days max... maybe we should make it a weeklong trip? Finn and Quinn want to come with us and I can take off of work... Holly shouldn't miss school, but Blaine is her teacher... he stopped his thought train, knowing he shouldn't be planning things in his head, when he has three meetings and a clothing shoot today... speaking of which... he's kissing Blaine's cheek, and his daughter and wishing them a good day at school, as he's running out the door to the waiting car, to take him to MerBerry Designs headquarters... long days ahead Kurt... but how much are you willing to reveal? His mind asked him...
Blaine spent the day sitting behind his desk, marking school work, watching the children as they made glittery guitars out of cardboard to make sure none of them ate any of the materials, and thinking about last night. He couldn't shake the feeling that there was something more to Kurt's behaviour last night, than he's currently privy to. He could ask Finn, but he doesn't want the man to feel as though he has to pick between his brother, and the man who is dating his brother... Puck would usually be open and honest with him, but he closes up when Blaine asks him about highschool, and what Kurt was like... so he's out... Mercedes he doesn't really know very well, and Sam doesn't seem to like him very much, given that the blonde haired boy hasn't spoken a word to him since they met. Rachel is too uptight and outspoken and Quinn has enough on her plate with pregnancy, to be worrying about his problems too... what if you asked Brittany or Santana? He thought, smiling to himself at the idea and texting the Latina to ask if they could meet for lunch. He didn't have to wait long for a reply, stating that Santana would be very happy to have lunch with Blaine... he chuckled, remembering what Kurt had told him about her, and returned his phone to his desk draw. Holly was watching him, a sad look on her face. He's not meant to use a five year old to get information about anyone, but she knows more about Kurt than possibly anyone. She sees him every night and every day... he calls her over, and sits her down opposite him.
'What's wrong Holly? You don't look bright and happy today?' he asked
'Uncle Finn is sad today... he said that daddy was upset and so was he. Do you know why my daddy is sad?' Holly asked, her big blue eyes meeting Blaine's hazel ones
'No sweetie, I don't. We can call him at recess if you want, and you can ask him,' Blaine suggested
'No, it's okay. You make daddy happy,' she replied, walking back over to her friends and resuming her work
Santana met Blaine at the small cafe on the corner, just near the school, at exactly one. She sat down, smirking, before ordering a small latte and donut. Blaine was nervous. He had never been alone with this person before, and he really doesn't know anything about Santana. She asked him what was so important it could wait, and when he asked about McKinley, and Kurt... like Puck, Finn and Rachel before her... she froze, looked up at him, a faraway look in her eyes, before looking back down at the donut that had just been sat in front of her, as though she was contemplating throwing it out... he doesn't understand... why don't they talk about highschool? Why don't they talk about McKinley, or Kurt? Something terrible must have happened... he thought, but Santana caught him off guard with what she said next...
'You love him... and just because he hasn't said it back yet, doesn't mean he won't. There are alot of things you still don't know Blaine... alot of things that are too painful to talk about... but it's not my story to tell... you and Kurt won't make this relationship last, if you keep running to us for advice. I love Kurt, he's my best-friend, and we've been through alot together, but you have to ask him about all of this Blaine... I can't be the one to tell you, and neither can the others...'
'Why do you all freeze up and change the subject whenever I ask you about highschool?' Blaine chanced, hoping for something
'We've all got pasts, those skeletons in our closets that we don't want the world to know about... Sebastian is Kurt's... amongst other things... and mine is my sexuality... I was afraid back then and it... it changed everyone... everything...' she replied, not looking up from her coffee
'Thanks for meeting me,' Blaine said, but the silence wore on...
By the end of lunch, as he and Santana parted ways, Blaine was even more confused than ever... if he thought he'd had it figured out... everything he'd come to know about Kurt had just been thrown for fourty... maybe this trip to Lima will help shed some light on the situation... after all, like the song says... you have to have roots before branches... maybe Blaine needs to work backwards, before they can move forward... it's worth a try...
A/N: Part Two: Lima brings back some heart-breaking memories for Finn and Kurt, who take a trip to the higshcool to visit Mr. Schuester. Sue will make an appearance... but where, and doing what... you'll have to wait... Quinn tells Blaine about their Glee Club, as she too visits the school with Blaine, and Sebastian makes a move in the case against Kurt, that might jeopardise everything they've fought for... Stay tuned... JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.