Hey everyone please read this a/n! I want to thank everyone who has supported These one-shots! Originally I had just planned on making only one which was the first chapter. But after receiving various comments that just kept asking for more and more, I had decided to make more, and I'll keep making more as long as you guys read them. I know I had stopped after the first 4 or 5 one-shots, but I'm back now! Somewhere along the line I've gotten really depressed and started cutting and I stopped writing anything humorous at all. But then I got a comment from someone begging for more, and, to be honest, I had completely forgotten about these one-shots altogether. But then I went back and read the ones I wrote before, and I have to say how surprised I was. They were funny and I had completely forgotten how much fun I had had writing them. And now I'm like, "wow am I really the same person who wrote these?!" It's made me realize how much I need to keep writing these one-shots! So I want to thank everyone again for how much support you guys have given me! This past year I've been so close to suicide, but there's always been someone to message me and tell me how much they've loved my stories. And then I thought maybe I am good for something. So please continue commenting and requesting stuff for me to write! Thanx!
Here's another one-shot! It gets funnier towards the end
Disclaimer: I don't own soul eater
It was just an ordinary day for Spirit "Deathscythe" Albarn. He woke up and went to work at the DWMA only to be dismissed by Lord Death himself. Then he spent hours getting drunk at the local cabaret club that Blair the magical Cat just happened to work at.
Speaking of Blair...
She had admitted to spending his money on sexy underwear and then being guiltyand giving it to Maka. He had been wondering why Maka kept on hitting him every time she saw him!
"Blair sorry she just couldn't reject the force. The force was with the sexy underwear strongly!" the crazy cat admitted.
"Blair, you sexy little kitty have you been watching too much Star Wars?!" Spirit said flirtily.
"NO!" Blair scoffed absolutely appalled he would think that. "The evil fishwives that live inside my head said they would stop talking to me if I bought them!"
"Ummmm...fishwives?"
"Yea they're the widows of all the fish I've killed."
"Right..."
So here he was now at the door to his darling little angel's apartment debating on whether he should go in and beg for her mercy. But then the strange old pervert heard something...
"What do you think, Soul?"
"Maybe we can burn them."
"No I'm wearing these perverted underwear!"
"Maka put your clothes back on before I-"
And that's when he snapped.
"MMMMMMMMAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKKKAAAAA! PAPA LOVES YOU THE MOST! DONT LET THIS EVIL OCTOPUS HEAD MOLEST YOU LIKE THIS!"
"Calm down-"
"YOU! I'll kill you Eater I swear I will! How could you rape my daughter! My precious little Maka! Papa loves her so much!" The grown man whined.
"What would you do if I did this then?!" Soul smirked and then kissed his meister. spirit was devastated!
"NNNoooooooooooooooo!"
"Papa stop...you can't do anything now...he got me pregnant!" Maka started fake-crying catching on to her partners cruel joke. The truth was the undedwear wouldn't come off no matter how much she tried. It was like it had a spell cast on it.
"..."
"Papa?"
"what's wrong with him, Maka?"
"WHATS WRONG WITH ME?! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!" Spirit cried running home.
"guess we overdid it..."
{elsewhere}
"Not my Maka...no...Papa loves her..." Spirit chanted over and over in a dark room. He flipped a switch and an altar dedicated to Maka lit up.
{back to SoMa}
"Brrrrr~ I just got a feeling papa's doing something weird again..." She mumbled.
"Why won't this underwear come off!?" Soul grumbled ignoring her.
"trying to get my clothes off Soul?"
"Only in your dad's dreams."
"That's not creepy at all...HOLY POTATOES!"
"what happened?!"
"I kinda locked up some orphans and forgot about them..."
"why did you lock up orphans?..."
"Because Dear Soul! Sometimes I just have this need to hurt people with orphans instead of books."
"Why?..."
"BECAUSE BLACKSTAR WAS AN ORPHAN!"
"Ummmmm...I don't understand!"
"Well when I was 12 he stole my chocolate...NO ONE steals my chocolate!"
"I thought he was afraid of chocolate."
"Why do you think that is? I tried murdering him with it. It turns out that when someone has a chocolate coated gun shoved down their throat by a bunch of gang members it's not a nice feeling..."
"What the-"
"Shhhhhhh Soul. I'm trying to listen!"
"To what?!"
"the orphans suffocating in your closet."
"Why at they in my closet?!"
"Because mine was full..."
"With What?! You always wear the same thing!"
"Well I have one Blackstar, a drug dealer, 24 bottles of vodka, a murderous pineapple, and a coconut that I have named Bob."
"BLACKSTAR?!"
"Shhhhh Bob can hear you!"
"Bob is stupid and doesn't have feelings!"
"You. Take. That. Back. NOW! Bob is just special! But he has a great personality!"
"I'm...sorry?"
"I think you and Steve need to have a little chat."
"Who's Steve?"
"The murderous pineapple. But you better be careful he smoked all of the drug dealers weed and he's dangerous!"
"...I have nothing to say to that..."
"Good everyone has to respect the Bob. Do you respect the Bob?"
"Yes...But one question?"
"What Souullly?!"
"How can you fit that much into your tiny Closet?"
"...A girl has her ways."
thanx for reading please review/comment