Your lips when we speak are the valleys and peaks of a mountain range on fire.

Johanna hummed quietly to herself as she leaned against a locker, ear buds securely inside her ears to block out the droning din of her classmates. Her next class was English and it was not one of her favorites. While she appreciated objectively the necessity for the class, she hated nearly everyone in it. Neither Finnick, Annie nor Katniss were in the class. Not even Smiley Peeta Mellark. Instead it was an insufferable bunch of elitist kids from First and Second Street: Cashmere's younger sister Glimmer, Enobaria, and a host of other equally dull and grating members of Panem High School.

For the time being she was waiting for Katniss to leave the room so they could speak briefly before she had to get to her next class. "Excuse me, you're standing in front of my locker." Glimmer crossed her arms and stood in front of Johanna, shooting daggers at the dark-haired girl. The Shins were playing too loudly in Johanna's ears for her to hear her but by her body language and cross stare, she assumed there was an issue.

'Cos you know as soon as breathe we scrutinize.

Yanking one of the ear buds out she slowly looked up to lock eyes with the petite blonde. Glimmer was just as vapid as Cashmere, but she was even more unbearable because at least Cashmere was good for a roll in the hay every once in a while. Glimmer was only good for wasting precious oxygen and consuming fossil fuels. "Is there a problem, Shiny?"

Glimmer pinched her features in anger at Johanna's nickname for her. "Are you deaf as well as a loser?" Glimmer spread her lips in a smug grin as a few of her craw chuckled at her "joke." "I said you're in front of my locker. Move."

Johanna glanced behind her. There was no way it was Glimmer's locker because the juniors had their section in a different part of the school. "I don't see your name on it."

Glimmer inclined her head and pursed her glittery lips. Another thing on the long list of things Johanna adored about Katniss was how minimal her make-up was. The girls at PHS typically wore an atrocious amount of the stuff; caking it on their faces like they were always about to grace a vaudeville stage. Katniss could show up with grimy smudges on her face and still look one hundred times more attractive than these girls.

"It certainly doesn't say 'Dyke Parking' so fucking take your K.D. Lang music and get the fuck off my locker." Another long round of snickers came from behind Glimmer, who was smugly staring at Johanna with her light green eyes.

Johanna inwardly cringed. She hated the word 'dyke.' It was highly offensive and corrosive to her spirit. Of course the moment you let someone use it against you as a weapon, the more it hurt. Johanna's theory was that if she didn't acknowledge the pain then it didn't exist. This theory, when tested, worked about zero percent of the time. Instead Johanna moved her face into the closest she could to indifference. As her mouth opened to speak Katniss suddenly appeared next to Johanna.

"Is there a problem?"

Glimmer's eyes moved slowly from Johanna to Katniss, eyeing the new girl up and down before settling her eyes on her face. "Did anyone invite you to this conversation, Everdeen?"

Katniss smiled. "I should have known I'd need an invitation. I mean there usually is a charge to go inside the freak show tent, right?" Glimmer looked appalled as Katniss stood next to Johanna confidently, a mild smile masking a deadly dose of anger.

The blonde looked over at Johanna. "Is this your new girlfriend, Jo? Nobody who actually knows you would want to date you so you had to jump on the first thing with two legs and a vagina that crawled into Panem, hm?"

Katniss saw Johanna's entire body go taut with what she mistook for anger. However, she saw a glimpse of something she had never seen in her: fear. Somehow this idiot blonde was able to weasel her way underneath Johanna's skin like a bacterial infection. "She's not my girlfriend," Johanna denied hotly. "She's just my friend and back the fuck off, okay?" The small break in her voice undermined the authority she was trying to convey.

Glimmer tossed her long blonde hair back and laughed. "I hope for new girl's sake she isn't your girlfriend. Wouldn't want to start a new school already on the lowest rung of the ladder." Glimmer flicked her wrist and her clique followed her down the hallway. Johanna let out a breath she wasn't aware she was holding and leaned her back against her locker.

"What the fuck was that about?" Katniss asked as she looked down the hallway after Glimmer. She remembered stupid, vain girls like that from her old school. Katniss had no time for them then and certainly didn't have time for them now. Especially if they were going to try and bully her girlfriend. Or, at least she thought Johanna was her girlfriend. They had kissed three weeks earlier and spent almost every day after school together since. This behavior seemed to speak against that.

"I'm sorry," Johanna apologized with a downcast gaze. "They're assholes."

"I can see that. I'm more wondering why you told them we weren't dating. I have a few memories of your lips that say otherwise." The upturned corner of her mouth indicated a joke but her tone was as flat as the horizon. "Are you embarrassed?"

Johanna's mouth gaped. "Embarrassed? Hardly. You're the prettiest girl in this school." Katniss darted her eyes to the side self-consciously. "But they're not wrong. Associating with me kind of leaves you in the muck with the rest of us."

"'Associating with you?' What are you, some kind of mafia criminal?" Katniss chuckled and went to tuck hair behind Johanna's ear but the shorter girl ducked out of her way. "Jo, please. I'm not ashamed of our relationship. Those moron girls aren't going to intimidate me."

Johanna scowled deeply. "You don't get it, Katniss. They can make your life a living hell." Her tone lowered to a whisper. "If they knew we were dating they'd start taking out their frustrations on you instead of me. I don't want that."

Katniss's eyebrow lifted nearly to her hairline. "And who says you make the decisions for me? For us?"

Johanna sigh. "This is high school, Katniss. We have to spend the next two years here. Why make it harder than it has to be? I'm used to their inane teasing anyway. They can't hurt me. I'm not like the rest of you."

Katniss visibly bristled. "Okay, so you just get to decide that we're going to stay in the closet for the remainder of high school? I don't even get a vote? What the hell is this, 1910?"

Johanna chucked and shifted her weight uncomfortably from foot to foot. She had hoped that her position as Panem's Only Lesbian and apparent Popular Girl Punching Bag would not have reared its ugly head so soon. Unfortunately it had so she was stuck trying to do whatever she could to protect Katniss from the barbs of these vicious girls and boys. "You just got here, all right? You don't understand how this works."

Gray eyes narrowed in bewilderment. Where had this shrunken Johanna come from? Where was the confident, sexy Johanna she met that day in the shop and danced with at the party? Where was her hot girlfriend who found nooks and crannies in the library to press Katniss up against and kiss her until she could barely stand?

What had these horrible girls done to her to make her so afraid? "Fine," Katniss breathed. She watched as Johanna relaxed her muscles and a small smile broadened across her face. "But for the record I am not happy about this." She squeezed Johanna's hand in lieu of kissing her and took off down the hallway toward her next class.

Johanna watched her go with wide, sad eyes. She wished she could be more open with Katniss at school since the bulk of their time was spent there. But it wouldn't be worth the constant bullying and Johanna knew the moment someone crossed Katniss that she would get expelled. Because that person would be hanged from the nearest flagpole by their entrails of they spoke an unkind word to her.

It was for everyone's protection, really.

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out. You've left me in the dark.

Johanna's tiny portable radio softly pushed the music through its tiny speakers and out into the front room of the Everdeen home. For the first hour or so that Johanna was inside the old piano attempting to tune it, that was the only noise. Until Prim took a sudden interest in her and never left.

"Does this usually take three hours?"

"How long have you been doing this for?"

"What's that noise?"

"Is it dusty in there?"

Johanna closed her eyes and let out a long, deliberate breath. Tuning a piano is a delicate, sensitive operation that requires a lot of tedious concentration. Unfortunately the last three hours Johanna had been surrounded by Primrose Everdeen like bees around a hive. A constant, buzzing presence flying around her head as she sat on the hardwood floor of Katniss's front room trying to tune their old piano.

"Prim, please, could you leave Johanna alone for two seconds? She can't tune it right if you're in the way. Otherwise the entire piano will sound like your chirpy bird voice, Little Duck." Katniss ushered a disappointed Primrose out of their room and up their stairs. Once the blonde girl was safely but begrudgingly in her room Katniss returned to Johanna.

She placed herself on the piano bench next to where Johanna was cross-legged beneath the piano keys. Her outfit choice had been purposeful: a flower-print dress that barely covered her knees and a pair of small platform red heels that matched the roses on her skirt. Even though Johanna's attention was on the small hammers inside the piano, just like in class, or the hallway, or the back of her mother's workshop; eventually her attention would return to Katniss's legs.

Johanna leaned back onto her palms next to the piano bench, her eyes traveling from the bottom of Katniss's heel, up the smooth tan surface of her legs, to the hem of her skirt, up to her smug gray eyes. The dark-haired girl did nothing to hide the lust in her brown eyes. "You know very well by now that I cannot concentrate when you parade your...your..."

No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight. In the shadow of your heart.

"My what?" Katniss's light voice cut into Johanna's sentence. She very slowly crossed and uncrossed her legs with her unwavering gaze focused on the girl sitting on her floor. She had invited Johanna over under the guise of tuning their old piano because her mother was supposed to take Prim out and they could've been alone. Unfortunately Prim was too tickled by Johanna's visit to be persuaded to leave.

Johanna's jaw flexed. "Katniss," she warned. It was late November and Katniss's dress was inappropriate for the brisk fall weather. The moment Johanna had stepped in the doorway and saw Katniss done up like Anne Gwynne with her hair pulled back and up into an intricate bun and her dress tied around her neck she had almost dropped her tools on the ground in surprise. Katniss knew the effect she had over Johanna and had been exploiting it nearly every day since their kiss. Johanna was trying to practice restraint; every time she slept with a girl it fizzled too quickly and she was left grasping at smoke. She spent the wick of the relationship in one night and left nothing to light up any other day. But Katniss was different. Johanna didn't want to use up their passion in some short night. She wanted it to burn slowly.

However Katniss, with her short skirts and her persistent kisses was dissolving her resolve. And it was absolutely designed toward undoing Johanna. They had been a couple for over two months and they had barely gone beyond some addictive but generally chaste make-out sessions. Typical teenaged fare of sneaking into broom closets at school or late nights in the back of Johanna's old car.

Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too. So I stayed in the darkness with you.

"You know what," Johanna chastised. The late afternoon sun sleepily cast into the room, illuminating the golden flecks in Katniss's hair. She slapped her hands together in a "job done" manner and pushed herself into a standing position. Her tools clanked noisily as she cleared the small clutter she had made.

"You're done?" Surprise and disappointment was evident Katniss's tone as she stood from the piano bench. Johanna switched the radio off and placed it in her tool box with the rest of her miscellany.

Johanna smiled, amused. "Yes only a short three hours later," she replied with an eye roll. The shorter girl sat on the bench, gingerly pressing the pedals beneath the piano. Slowly her fingers traced over the ivory keys like the wandering hands of a new lover. She pressed down in the keys experimentally to test our their sound. The noise was wonderful; the melodic echo of the hammers in the old wooden piano gave her goosebumps with its antique clarity. Pianos were much like people in that their every part felt different from one another even though their insides were generally the same. They all responded to a different type of touch.

Without much thought she began teasing out an old tune she knew by heart. Katniss sat on the bench next to her watching Johanna's fingers glide effortlessly across the keys. Between pottery class and her musical talent, Katniss was at a point somewhere beyond curiosity as to how Johanna's fingers felt all over her skin. Johanna hummed the melody as she accompanied herself, her eyes closed delicately like she was taking an afternoon nap.

I used to be color-blind. But I met you and now I find there's green in the grass. There's gold in the moon. There's blue in the skies.

The front door clicked open slowly and Katniss whirled around on the bench so her back was facing the piano. She watched her mother come in and she placed her fingers on her lips to silence her. Mrs. Everdeen stood perplexed in the doorway, white plastic bags straining from her wrists. She exaggeratedly tip-toed into the kitchen to place the bags down, eager to not disturb the beautiful music filling her home. No one had played that old piano since her husband had died. It was old and went out of tune almost immediately after his death as if it knew the music in their home had perished with him.

Believe me it's really true 'til I met you I never knew. A setting sun could paint such beautiful skies.

The blonde-haired woman smiled from the foyer and watched Johanna at the piano. She began to sing softly to the familiar tune. Johanna was breathing life into the old piece of junk just a she had breathed life into her daughter. The dazed delusion of teenage love seemed to clear the fog from Katniss in only a few weeks. She put no stock in their relationship; young love is passionate but notoriously fickle. But she whole-heartedly invested in the temporary solace Johanna provided Katniss. Happiness, however brief, is always worth it when it can be found.

I never knew there were such lovely colors. And the big surprise is the red in your cheeks, the gold in your hair, the blue in your eyes.

Primrose came bounding down the stairs in her typical clumsy fashion. The gawky girl stopped at the foot of the stairs as she took in the bizarre tableau she had come across. Her mother standing next to her father's old piano singing softly as Johanna tinkled the keys delicately. She caught her sister's eye and they shared a puzzled but pleased look.

Johanna finished the song with a small melodic flourish and flushed deeply when the three other women clapped enthusiastically. "Would you like to stay for dinner Johanna? As a thank you for that tedious work?"

"It was no bother at all. I'm glad I could help. This is a really fu-" She cast a glance toward Prim. "A really great piano. Fantastic, actually."

Mrs. Everdeen smiled fondly. "My husband was very enamored with that instrument."

"I can see why. They don't make the uprights like this anymore. The woodwork inside is amazing." Johanna picked up her toolbox and started toward the door. "I appreciate the offer but it's okay. I should get home to my mom. Thanks though."

Mrs. Everdeen nodded and went to busy herself in the kitchen putting away their groceries. Katniss followed Johanna to the door, opening her mouth to speak when Prim ducked under her arm and stood between them. "Hey Jo would you be able to teach me piano? Daddy was supposed to teach me but he never did."

Katniss shared a helpless look with Johanna who averted her gaze down to the blue-eyed girl. "I could try. Why don't you talk it over with your mom first and then have Katniss let me know, okay?"

Prim nodded and wrapped her arms around Johanna's torso tightly. The affectionate gesture caused the older girl to visibly tense and pat Prim's head awkwardly. The little girl took off into the kitchen and Katniss leaned into Johanna, placing her hands on the shorter girl's hips. "Am I going to see you later?"

Her lips curled into a smirk. "Do you want to?" She already knew the answer to that but she enjoyed hearing the answer. In place of responding Katniss leaned down and kissed her girlfriend. Johanna pulled away and kissed the top of Katniss's nose lovingly. "Stay over tonight. My mom is going away for the weekend after dinner."

Katniss's gray eyes widened. They had never spent a night together. Her confidence quavered for a second before she answered. "Yes! What time?"

Johanna shrugged. "Whenever you want. My mom is leaving around five." Katniss gripped the sides of Johanna's neck and pressed their lips together in another, hungrier kiss before pulling away. Katniss couldn't help the smile spread across her face at Johanna's lost expression after she kissed her. Each and every time they kissed she always looked like it was the first time. It filled her stomach with a feeling like she had drank too much; warm and lightheaded and happy.

Once she closed the door behind Johanna she turned to walk into the kitchen where her mother was already prepping dinner. She stood in the doorway of the kitchen and casually leaned against the doorframe. When her mother turned from their stove she immediately narrowed her eyes at her daughter. "Whatever it is, I can already feel myself saying no."

Katniss crossed her arms. "Can I stay over Jo's tonight?" Her mother paused mid-wipe of her hands on her apron. "See? Not so bad. You love Johanna."

Mrs. Everdeen looked over her reading glasses at Katniss. She could feel the anxious hope radiating off Katniss in waves. Her motherly instinct screamed no. An unsupervised sleepover between two newly in love teenagers spelled disaster. But the slightly more rational part of her brain that remembered seventeen-years-old wanted to relent.

"I assume Polly won't be present?" Katniss's silence spoke for her. "I'm sure you realize why this makes me uncomfortable. You know I like Johanna very much."

"Nothing's going to happen. Trust me." I've tried were the unspoken words just on the outside of her answer.

Mrs. Everdeen let out a sigh. Had it really been that long since Katniss was just a little girl with a braid in her hair and a shy disposition? Now here she was, nearly a woman, about to have her first night over in a romantic partner's home. Confidence spilling over the edges like an overfilled wine cup. Just in the last two months alone Katniss's attitude had changed quickly: she was lively and engaging, doing well in school, and nearly as cheerful as she had been when her father was alive.

"Okay."

"Okay?" Katniss repeated excitedly. She scampered forward and hugged her mother tightly.

Mrs. Everdeen rolled her eyes in a feigned exapseration. "Yes yes you can go. Just eat dinner with your sister and I first." Katniss called a million thank you's over her shoulder as she leapt up the stairs and began to furiously overpack for her stay with Johanna. Her mother had been considerably more understanding when she "came out" to her a few days after her first kiss in the shop. A new light had been opened between them by the easy exchange. Katniss had always felt more of a kismet with her father, but her mother was starting to understand her as well. Or maybe Katniss was finally receptive to it.

The absence of God will bring you comfort, baby. Plannin's for the poor so let's pretend that we're rich.

"I told you," Johanna said with a husk in her voice. She stared up at her ceiling that was partially clouded by smoke. Was it the ceiling? Or her vision? By the third joint Johanna knew her perception despite her tolerance of the stuff, was beginning to be questionable. "This record is off the hook. But it's even better to have a little help."

After they had watched Blue Is The Warmest Colour Johanna brought Katniss up to her room to listen to music. She needed a distraction badly because her choice in film didn't exactly make it easy to keep her hands to herself. The love scene alone had stirred inside her stomach and she couldn't even look at Katniss. She was deeply struck by the gorgeous film and even more so by the superb score and soundtrack. But she was about to hang Adele Exarchopoulos and Lea Seydoux for inciting her insides.

Katniss, however, had spent the bulk of the film watching Johanna watch the screen. She didn't understand French and detested reading subtitles so she settled on watching Johanna's chest rise and fall erratically depending on the scene. Watching the slow crawl of blush creep up her breastplate and to her neck during the sex scene.

Katniss enjoyed being in Johanna's room. It was a loft in the top part of the home with sharply angled ceilings almost entirely covered in posters of rock bands Johanna loved and black and whites of jazz musicians Katniss didn't recognize. Her one wall was a massive built-in stuffed with vinyl records, the other two large bookcases overflowing with books. A far corner housed around twelve instruments - an electric and acoustic guitar, a drum set equipped with various percussion instruments, a small piano, several brass instruments and the zenith of her collection: her massive record player. It was Johanna all over: it looked like her, smelled like her.

The weed they shared was particularly fragrant and while she was not unaccustomed to getting high, Katniss felt an overwhelming calming clarity as she lay next to Johanna on the bed. Every moment she had spent with her that night had been wonderful. The beautiful film, the buttery popcorn, the soft feel of Johanna's skin against hers as they curled on the couch, the heat coming off of Johanna as she blatantly gawked during the explicit sex scenes. All of it had been amazing.

I'm not my body or how I choose to destroy it.

Katniss looked over at Johanna who was eyes-closed blissfully listening to the music. Her hair was down and splayed across her pillow, her figure hidden beneath a tight fitting mauve tank top and a loose pair of grey sweatpants. Her face recently washed free of make up except for the near permanent line of eyeliner under her lids.

Katniss rolled over and positioned both get knees on either side of Johanna's thighs. She watched those deep brown eyes fly open like a doll and stare up confusedly at her. "What are you doing?" Johanna's breathless voice came up from beneath her.

"We've been together two months and you have barely tried to touch me." Katniss's hair fell to the side as she examined Johanna's facial reactions. "Do you not find me attractive?"

"What?" Johanna immediately replied, her eyes as large as chestnuts. "You can't possibly think that. You have no idea, the effect you can have."

"The effect? Me?"

Johanna smiled. She pushed herself up so their stomachs touched and braced her weight back on the palms of her hands. "Yes you."

Katniss protruded her lower lip. "I don't understand you then. You like me, want to date me, yeah?" Johanna nodded in place of words. "Mm okay. But you don't want to have sex with me? And you want nobody but our moms to know we're together." Katniss chuckled at Johanna's scandalized look. "It's just a question."

Johanna let a soft silence fall between them like a lightly falling snow. The whole night had been so perfect that she didn't want to dare and ruin it with clumsy words. "Finnick and Annie know," she protested weakly. "Katniss..."

The beginning of her sentence was interrupted by the other girl slowly tracing the pads of her fingers along Johanna's lips. "I like the way your mouth moves when you say my name."

The darker-haired girl's chest bubbled in an amused laugh, bouncing Katniss minimally with the movement. "You are so blazed love," Johanna affectionately replied, stroking Katniss's cheek with the back of her hand. "Let's go to sleep."

Maybe love won't let you down. All of your failures are trainin' grounds. And just as your back is turned you'd be surprised, she says, as your solitude subsides.

The gray-eyed girl stared down hard at her girlfriend before obediently sliding off of her and flopping on to her back. Johanna got off the bed and pulled the needle from the record. She padded back across the room, turning off the light beside them as she got underneath her covers.

"Good night," Johanna murmured, finding Katniss's lips in the dark and kissing her chastely.

Katniss remained unmoved. She turned over and faced the opposite wall, eyes wide open. Her mind betrayed the rest of her muscles and kept her agonizingly awake. Johanna's breathing became soft and shallow when Katniss spoke up again. "I'm sorry I just don't get it."

Johanna released an annoyed sigh. "What? How to sleep? Close your eyes and count sheep or some shit brainless." Her voice was a lower timbre than normal and tingled down Katniss's spine like fingertips.

Katniss huffed haughtily and turned over with more exertion than necessary to rouse Johanna from the edge of sleep. "No, brainless, why you won't sleep with me."

Johanna sighed a mournful breath and turned over. "I'm trying to sleep with you and you won't shut up."

Katniss glared. "You know what I meant. You slept with fucking Cashmere with no problem but suddenly you're Sister Johanna Mason sworn to celibacy with me." Katniss reached over Johanna's body so their torsos pressed together tightly and she turned the lamp on to see Johanna's face. The faint yellow glow illuminated the rueful and guilty expression Johanna wore. "Don't you want me?"

Johanna rolled her eyes. "Oh come on. You know I do."

Katniss pupils, dilated in both inebriation and desire, nearly blocked out the gray of her eyes as she squinted at Johanna. "So take me."

Johanna's stomach fluttered hard. It wasn't butterflies in there: it was chainsaw-wielding dragons tearing up her insides. "Katniss please. It's not that I don't want you or that I don't find you attractive. You're the most stunning girl I've ever seen and I want you in all inches of me. You consume me whole." Katniss stayed hovered above her, propped up on her elbow. "I don't want to ruin this," she admitted, softening her voice. "I'm not good at this and to be honest you scare the shit out of me."

"Scare you?" The incredulity in her voice was plain as paper.

"Yes you scare me. I'm afraid that I'm going to fuck this up and it'll be over." Johanna's brown eyes stared down toward her magenta blanket.

I'll teach you how to swim if you turn the bad in me into good again.

The thought had occurred to Katniss before. It was clear as day that Johanna, for all her sexuality and past lovers, was completely inexperienced in terms of romance. Katniss never had a girlfriend or a boyfriend so she didn't know the rules either. All she knew was how bodily she craved Johanna whenever she was near. And when she wasn't. She pragmatically figured they'd fumble their way through their relationship until the newness wore off and it became more comfortable. Isn't that how love worked? Fumbling awkwardly until you hit the solid foundation of your love and work your way up from there? Katniss didn't know.

"I'm sorry," came Katniss's gentle reply. She placed her head in the crook of Johanna's arm and wrapped her arm protectively around Johanna's waist. "I understand."

"Do you?" Her eyebrows rose questioningly.

"Yes. I don't want to ruin anything either. We'll go slow. I suppose when the time is right we'll know." Her tone was less convincing than her words. Johanna reached over and switched off her lamp, closing the discussion for the night.

"Good night, Jo." Katniss nuzzled into Johanna's arm and found herself suddenly drowsy by the light pine and flower scent of Johanna's skin. They fell asleep that way: entangled in each other, nerves somehow both on fire with unspent energetic arousal and calmed by the presence of the other.

And I say there's trouble when everything is fine. The need to destroy things creeps up on me every time.

Note of the Author Kind: I a little bit just wrote this all out in one night so here's to hoping it's good! Thank you all, once more and again, for the kind words and silent but also appreciated follows.

Music: "Girl Inform Me" by The Shins, "Cosmic Love" by Florence + The Machine, "I Used to be Color Blind" by Ella Fitzgerald or Fred Astaire, "The Absence of God" by Rilo Kiley.