How To Live With Werewolves

Rule Number Eighteen:

When a wolf comes scratching at your door, revise rule Fifteen.

Last time:

I let him have it.

"Are you insane! Do you know what you've just done, Edward! They'll know you took me—Jake will—

~!~

"Please, Edward, I have to..."

JAKE!

But it was too late.

~!~

One moment he was there.

And then he was gone.

In the sudden silence, a startling piercing sound thudded in my head.

Like the sudden quiet when you turn off a movie and lay there in the dark.

I was scared of the dark, once.

"Edward!" I cry, lurching forward.

Unlike any other time, I don't pass out. The adrenaline rushing through my veins won't let me.

Instead, I watch as a disembodied frozen corpse lays a few feet away, my throat burning with bile and my eyes watering with the sting.

He still blinks and I just sit there in a heap, gasping.

The wolves look between me and then themselves, heads turning to each other as whimpers, yips and whines escape muzzles then stop. It's utterly silent. Jared looks between all of us, wincing at Edwards torso.

They're all asking: "What do we do?"

"We... we need to call Carlisle," I mutter, voice hoarse.

Jacob turns and snarls, not at me, but at the mention of more vampires. His thought hits the others like a live wire and soon they're growling with him, eyes narrowed and teeth gleaming.

"He'll... he'll know how... I don't..." words won't work properly and I think I'm going into shock. It's not every day you see a vampire torn apart then still functioning. Well, not in any other persons day. Just mine, I guess.

"And tonight on Maury Povich a case never seen before. I Love A Werewolf But My Ex Vampire Is Back."

I giggle a little hysterically. I was good with weird, right?

Jared kneels down next to me, looks me in my eye and it's good to focus on something that isn't broken like Humpty Dumpty.

'And all the kings horses and all the kings men...'

"Bella, honey," he soothes and I blink at him. Jacob calls me that.

'Couldn't put Humpty together again...'

"Yes?"

"How exactly do we get the Cullens?"

I had no idea.

"Well, do you think maybe if we called or something?"

Huh, guess I was talking aloud.

"Yes, you are. I need you to focus. How do we get them here?"

I opened my mouth. Closed it. Jaw worked fine. Maybe it was brain to mouth filter?

"Rosalie... she'll know."

But not without Alice. I had to call Rose.

Seems wolves could travel with clothes tied to their legs, but not phones. I giggled at the idea—Jacob, running with a mobile in his mouth. Bad reception.

Jared lifted me in his arms.

"I'm gonna run her to mine, get her to call the leeches and see what we can do."

I wasn't paying much attention after that. He walked with me in his arms as though I was weightless, and along the way I saw Edward peering up at me. I gave a half-hearted wave.

"We're gonna go get the kings men."

I splashed cold water on my face, shivered, brought back after a few minutes wrapped in a blanket. As much as I wanted to go back to help, I knew I would be useless. My legs weren't stable enough to keep me upright and my brain was just coming back as if an old computer whirring to life.

I stared at my reflection. The figure there was a stranger, eyes bloodshot and hair a wild tangled mess. I'd gained some weight, though I was still bony in parts. But I was pale. Well, paler than usual. I guessed it was...

Rosalie had picked up on first ring, saying she'd sort it out, that I should lay down and rest.

Seemed she could hear how worked up I was.

But that didn't deter me from the fact that Edward was back, unlike what she'd said. He wasn't in Rio, or saving lives, or even drinking from people, he was here, in La Push, in pieces.

After a long moment I made my way back into the living room—only to get lost again and end up in Jareds bedroom.

"Second door on the left," I muttered and found my way again, sitting on the couch and drinking hot chocolate. Jared was in the kitchen, fixing himself some dinner after everything had been handled. I wasn't to be left alone and 'do not operate heavy machinery'...

I was pretty sure I had my sanity but that I was just a little... wired? Hyped up? Weirded out. And I couldn't be blamed. Normally so level headed, even when Sam was wounded, it was only natural after all of it I would finally crack.

The scariest part was thinking that I might never be the same, that I'd always be this way.

That all changed when Jacob walked through the door, panting and searching frantically for me. I was busy picking at a piece of the cast and stared dumbly as he took three steps and stopped in front of me. A moment passed, then another. I looked to my lap, then up.

He was afraid to touch me.

"Bells?" his lips curled around my name as though I weren't real.

I swallowed thickly. Here came the crying part.

My bottom lip wobbled and I ducked my head as each warm tear slid down my cheek. Wordlessly, he lifted me into his arms and cradled me to his chest. His warmth soothed me instantly.

"Oh, baby... I'm so sorry..." he whispered against my hair.

I thought maybe he'd be mad at me; for stopping him, perhaps, but he only seemed upset I was crying.

Then I was sobbing, murmuring incoherently against his skin.

"He's back and I'm alive and he should be wrong for being here, I hate him but I can't because he's still so perfect—even if he did drain people dry, he's always going to be perfect and I hate that!"

"Honey..." I didn't miss the flicker of anger.

"I hate him. I hate him! He thinks it's okay to just come back after everything he's done, everything and he lied to me!" Uh, oh, the floodgates were opened and I couldn't seem to figure out a way to stop-Jacob grasped my chin gently, turned my head to look me in the eye.

"Do you..." he pauses, flinches. "Do you still love him Bells?"

I shake my head no.

"Not... Not after everything he's done to me. But... if it weren't for him breaking me... I never would have..." and I can't seem to finish but Jacob, as always, knows.

He smiles sadly, kisses me on the mouth until my breathing levels out—though my heart thudded in response—and rests his chin atop my head, trailing his fingers through my hair.

"That's not true..."

I waited.

"We made mudpies together and blew up my dads oven. I loved you, even then."

It was utterly sweet. I burrowed my head against his chest.

"Did you have to clean up the mess?"

"Hell yeah. I wasn't going to let you do it. You were too pretty for that."

I laughed softly, the shock wearing off quickly, replaced by the warmth. Always the warmth.

"I love you."

He sighed, all tension gone and kissed my hair.

"I love you more, Bells."

"Bella?"

"Hey..."

She sighed, long and loud.

"Well... He's back. He wants to know if he can see you."

"No. I don't want to see him. Not anymore."

"Not even a goodbye?" her voice sounds confused. She thought I would revel in Edwards prescence, it seemed.

"Not even a dime for the bus. I gotta go, Rosalie."

"I know. And Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"Tell that mutt if he ever hurts you I'll make it so every time he barks, he chokes up an organ."

I shook my head, smiled.

"Bye Rose."

"Bye."

When I awoke, I felt a warmth at the foot of my bed and slowly looked around. And there, brushing against my wrist, was a tail. I stared at it, confused as to what a tail might be doing on my bed when the tail linked to an animal familiar in colour and size. I blinked away sleep and sat up, fingers running over the wolves spine in a gentle pat.

"Morning, Seth."

The pair of eyes, nearly hidden by massive paws, open and gaze at me tiredly. I rub his ears affectionately and for a moment he seems startled by it, but sighs gruffly and nuzzles his nose into my palm.

How exactly he got in my room and slept on my bed without breaking something amazes me but I take in his shape and size—he's probably the smallest of the pack. None the less, I'm glad he's here. The nightmares didn't come and I think I have him to thank for that. He's half asleep by the time I shift my pillows so I can sit up and stare out the window in thought.

All those pieces, scattered across the field... as though his heart had been broken. I'm not angry, but I feel... something akin to it.

He lied. Despite all that he said, the way his actions spoke when he left me there in the forest, alone, he lied. He loved me. He wanted to protect me.

From himself? No.

He was greedy. He'd caused me pain—pain so white hot and ever lasting I wasn't able to function. I was tempted by the idea of death. If I couldn't be with someone so perfect, I would have jumped. I wasn't good enough. I was never good enough. I would never be good enough.

The pack had protected me when there was nothing worth protecting...

So long as I carried this weight of loss and hurt around with me I would never be entirely human. Jacob loved me, for me, even when I was broken, even when there was nothing in me to love.

He loved me even when he hadn't imprinted. Even before then, maybe.

Memories of my childhood were often jumbled because I was between Renee and Charlie so much that home was just a check-in. But I remember him holding my hand as they buried his mother. I remember buying him a toy car for his birthday when he was seven. I remember mud pies in the oven and how we had to clean it up.

I remember him kissing me on the cheek when Renee took me away that last time.

What Edward and I had shared had been a love that put everything on hold. It froze both my heart and my mind until I wanted to be like him, cold and marble. So nothing could hurt me, so no one would be able to drag me away from the person I wanted to be with, so that no force could tear us apart. I had wanted to be stronger. I wanted to be something other than myself—in doing so, in being bitten, I would have left everyone behind without a care. I would have fed on blood and lived from love.

I would have been cold.

With Jacob, everything burned. It cascaded down, only to spiral back up and burn brighter. It scorches, it's like molten lava, shifting everything. No, it was the sun. Everything seemed warmer, kinder and brighter. I had friends and family I could rely on to love me only if I loved them.

I hadn't tried, really, to be part of their world. I had followed my own rules to become closer to Jacob. I had accepted him, and his pack, yet I hadn't earned my place.

Last nights actions only proved I was not one of them. I wasn't Emily, the one person who could be a mother, friend, and sister. I wasn't Leah, part of them and able to defend and protect. I wasn't even close...

From now on, I promised myself as I closed my eyes, I would be a better person.

I would be Bella Swan.

Happiness swelled inside my chest at the thought.

And then Seth promptly fell off the bed when Charlie knocked on the door.

"Bells?"

"Holy crow, holy crow, holy crow," I whisper, throwing back the sheets. I rush the door, pushing all my weight on it as Charlie tries to open it.

"Bells?" he sounds alarmed.

"It's okay, dad, I'm... I'm getting dressed!"

I turn at the wrong moment and slap a hand over my eyes as Seth pulls on his cut-offs. I hear a small barely audible creak and look only to notice Seth is gone.

"Um, give me a minute, dad!"

I quickly pull on my jumper and open the door.

"Hi," I greet breathlessly.

He looks behind me, as if confused. "Fall out of bed?" he guesses, nodding to the rumpled and twisted sheets. I nod, nervous that if I talk he'll catch the lie there.

'Stop pulling at your sleeves...'

"So... anyway, I gotta head in to work and finish this paperwork on this kid—

"Okay, dad."

—But I was thinking after we could go to La Push, see Billy and have dinner there. Pizza, my shout."

"Sounds good." It sounded perfect, actually.

He presses a quick awkward kiss to my cheek and we both stand stock still, shocked. "Love you, kiddo," he smiles before turning and going downstairs. I watch him go, noticing he's become more... fatherly, I guess. It's a good thing, I figure.

Now... time to shower and get dressed...

But before that, something escaped my mouth—sounding soft and fluttery. I was laughing, I realised. A sound so foreign and unheard of that it rattled me near breathless.

The hilarity of seeing Seth, sans pants, and nearly getting caught by Charlie overwhelmed me—the situation had seemed like some teenage drama. "Tonight on Maury-Was Bella In Bed With Another Wolf!?"

I laughed so hard the tears that slipped from my eyes for once weren't ones of pain.

But the stitches in my side were, though...

"What's that?" Bella asked curiously, reading over Jacobs shoulder.

"It appears to be a... note of some kind.." he murmured, not too sure what he was meant to do with the note. It didn't seem all that important now Bella was there.

Hello, readers. I ate a sandwich.

He turned the page over, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Bella tried to hide a laugh behind her hand.

And it was good!

Then, in a moment entirely blamed by inspiration from the note, Jacob shoved the desk back, took Bella into his arms and ravaged her completely until both of them had to stop and read the note again for round two.

A/N continues!

No, seriously, the inspiration fairy struck last night... well, early in the morning, and I just had to post this (even though I'm not sure I edited it thoroughly...) but here it is! You can all put away your pitchforks and torches now!

On another note, my lovely darling baby bunka boos (cute nickname, right?) I need to make a list of all your names and put them on a review banner thing I'm making. I didn't realise that so many of you were faithful and stuck with me so long, so it's a short and little thank you for doing so. For the other more recent reviewers, you're also on my Need-To-Thank list.

Annnnd on yet another note, I need to ask for your help. I'm running out of rules (have been for a while now) so please feel free to review this chapter and in those lovely little brackets, (the ones I've been using half this A/N) give me something to work with. You'll get a special thank you and a preview for the next chapter in an inbox. Unless you want more, then by all means let me make some cookies.

Anyway! Missed you guys lotsly, can't wait to hear back and hopefully write more.

Love, peace, chicken grease.

End A/N