I, Torchwick
I, Torchwick, need another smoke.
You know, the trouble with these soldier-types is that they're all just too damned serious all the time – They all oughta lighten up once in a while; have a drink, smoke a cigar, find a pretty girl maybe – but no, Sergeant Screwball always has to be serious about guarding the prisoner. Ha. Bastard needs to take the stick out of his ass is more like it. Just think about it; there's a whole kingdom full of people like that… Can you even imaging how God-awfully boring it must be up there in Atlas? The Vale Council should give me the key to the city for keeping things interesting around here…
But yeah… still ain't got a smoke… Strongest military power my ass – the esteemed general had my cigars confiscated - 'for my own good' – as if. I'd say it's probably in everyone's best interest if I choke on the smoke in here – mine most of all – It's too damn boring in here. I shudder to think how much money I could be misappropriating if I weren't stuck in here. Crazy bitch better know what she's doing – Roman Torchwick is nobody's fall-guy!
Ah, screw it, I'm probably gonna be here a while, may as well get used to it. I'll get out of here eventually – that damned witch ain't the only one with a few connections – and when I do get out, the first thing I'm gonna do is get another hat because those damned androids flattened my last one! Can you believe that? The second thing I'm gonna do though… I think another heist might be in order… maybe make some actual money on this one instead of just stockpiling the haul for God-only-knows what. Bitch never did tell me what the endgame was… Eh, whatever; toy soldiers on one side and dumb animals on the other, and all of them hate me, so screw them all. They can kill each other all they like while I'm stuck in here. I'll get out eventually, and war is good for business.
Wait and see,
Roman Torchwick
Author's Note: So it was time for a villain, and who better than Roman Torchwick – to me at least, he represents an interesting counterpoint to both Ironwood and Goodwitch, plus, I had that first few words playing over and over in my head, so I just had to start it off like that. As for the next one though, I'm not sure exactly who to do; I'm kind of waffling between Oobleck, Adam, or taking a crack at Neo; if any of those appeals to you, or if you have an alternate suggestion, feel free to leave it in a review.