I am not arachnophobic. That is perfect proof that I don't own Harry Potter.

The boy-who-was-now-half-spider catapulted himself through corridors and around corners, trying to gain a sense of where he was. He had been to every corridor in Hogwarts, barring secret passages and the dungeons, so he ought to know where he had been locked away.

The dungeons! He had been warned once by Hermione that it was a labyrinth, filled with all sorts of deadly creatures. Back in first year, he'd very much wanted to live, and thus had never come near it, let alone inside. But now here he was, wishing he had, as then he would know at least part of the labyrinth layout. He made two lefts in a row and came face to face with... A locked cage. He turned to leave but was stopped by a small, pitiful mewing.

A single spell flew to the surface of Harry's mind. "Riddikulus!" Suddenly the cage was open, and the black and white kitten inside darted off around the corner.

Turning another corner, the acromantula-boy was struck speechless by a twenty-foot long serpent, which Harry recognised only too well from the scales. A protective instinct welled up inside him, urging him to run for his life, but he ignored it with great difficulty, leapt forward and stabbed two legs into its exposed eyes. The limbs weren't exactly made for stabbing, but they did a decent job of blinding the beast, and suddenly he wasn't scared. Maybe the eyes did something to spiders' minds, he mused, ducking a blind tail swipe from the king of serpents with ease.

Harry had a problem; how was he supposed to kill a basilisk without the sword of gryffindor? It had been hard enough before, but now... He had an idea. He may not be able to Shift much, but what if he only Shifted his voice box?

Five minutes later, the basilisk lay dead at Harry's feet, murdered by that fatal sound. Harry waited another five; it was bad enough being part spider, having a rooster voice would do anything but help him.

Harry turned a corner and his heart lifted. Light! He was at the exit! His heart sank as a much brighter, much redder light drowned out the first. It bobbed right back up like a yo-yo when he found, not a dragon as he had expected, but a minuscule fire-breathing chicken.

The spider boy found that he very much liked raw chicken. Maybe it was something to do with his current form, maybe it was a boggart thing, or maybe fire breathing chickens cooked themselves. Either way, he was now fed and somewhat rested, and could carry on towards that light he had seen.

He broke through the locked iron door, which hadn't been reinforced for some odd reason, and sprinted up the staircase nearby. He bolted past Snape's classroom, up another flight of stairs, and out of the dungeons.

The gryffindor common room was in an uproar. A spider... Thing in grey boxer shorts had climbed through the portrait, marched up to Head Boy Percy Weasley, and demanded to see his brother Ron. Percy, obviously shaken, had stammered something about Dumbledore's office, and the spider thing was gone.

Ron and Hermione were having a bad day, to say the least. Lupin had most likely killed Harry (Hermione had been sobbing into the redhead's shoulder since Lupin's full body bind had worn off of them), and if they wanted to possibly see him again, they would have to tell Dumbledore about being illegal Animagi. They were about to knock on the office door when their day took a turn for the better.

"Guys! Don't knock!" Harry couldn't say anything else, having been winded, even through his natural armour, by a Hermione-shaped bullet. It was Ron who spoke next, being the only one with the energy left to do so.

"Harry! Thank god you're alive, mate. What the bloody hell happened?"

The spider-who-lived, now hugging Hermione with six limbs (Ron winced a little), took a deep breath, before launching into the events previous. By the time he was done, the other two were staring at him, open mouthed and horrified. "But he did it because he thought I was in danger," he tried to convince them, "besides, boggarts probably don't need air. How was he supposed to know that I did?"

"He should have checked! He should have-"

Harry interrupted her mid sentence. "Hermione, try to find him now."

Hermione concentrated and told them, "he's at Hogsmead..."

"Exactly, he's trying to find a lead on where I am. This isn't going to change until we tell him the truth, since I can't Shift."

"Wait, what?!" Ron shouted, his voice cracking.

"Did I leave that part out?"

Nods.

He sighed. "Basically, I can't Shift out of this form. I did manage to change my voice box so I could kill the basilisk-"

"There was a basilisk?!"

"Yes, 'Mione, about twenty feet long this time. As I was saying, it took me five minutes just to Shift my voice box back. I think it's because I transformed into a non-humanoid form without a fear catalyst. If I hadn't, though, I would have died."

He considered for a second, then decided to recount the other encounters. "I also saw a fire breathing chicken, which I ate, and a boggart, which I used Riddikulus on."

"Harry, how did you cast it?"

"Huh?"

Hermione elaborated. "Where is your wand?"

"Lupin has it."

"Professor Lupin, Harry." He nodded absently. She ignored this. "How did you use magic if you didn't have a wand?"

"I just waved my leg." Harry's thoughts ground to a halt as he processed his own statement, and he stuck out a leg. "Wingardium Leviosa!" With the iconic swish and flick, Ron was now floating close to the ceiling. "Well, what do you know... Guess it must be because my legs are magical."

Wasting no more time goggling at Harry's hidden abilities, the trio set off for the shrieking shack, the only way they knew to get to Hogsmead.

The labyrinth may return in the future, I don't really know. Anyway, Harry's going to tell Lupin! What will the man think?

This fic will probably update less often now, as I'm also working on another one, Die for 'Chu. Check it out, but be warned, it's M for a reason.