Zuko
X
It's funny how you always sense the presence of someone you love when they are near. I close my eyes as I feel Katara. Her presence is warm, welcomed, something which I've been yearning for the past ten years, something I love. I marvel at the fact that I managed to live the past decade without it. She is in the black tent, something that comes across to me as strange. For no particular reason but one, the black tent is reserved for the dead and the families of the deceased.
I nod at the man who has given me this information. His eyes are too severe for his youth; I notice this as I look into his hollow eyes, his eyes tell a story, of love, respect and anger for what has happened to him. Maybe I am imagining things, maybe I am thinking too much. I shake my head to clear away the thought and nod again as he nods back and directs me into the tent. The young man disappears before I can thank him and when I enter the tent I understand why.
He lies silently, stiffly even as I stare at him.
The pain that comes is nothing I've ever experienced before. It is excruciating to say the least and I find my eyes wide as I look at him. Him… I don't say 'his body' because I still cannot come to terms with the fact that one of my best friends, the man with whom I shared a sacred bond has left me, broken and shattered, in a position that I cannot explain. I venture into the black tent, slowly, threading gently on the snow as my eyes, focus on him. I can feel the wetness on my cheek as I subconsciously brush the moisture from my face.
I swallow, my throat threatening to close as I walk the few steps it takes me to reach his side. I move, my hand hovering only mere inches over his face as I steel my nerves. Gently, softly, with a heart heavy with sorrow I allow my hand to make contact with his cold skin.
"Maybe we could be friends?"
My throat closes at the memory and I find myself choking on the sobs that have collected in my throat. Why did things have to end this way? I remember the last time I saw him. It was here, in the South Pole where we had our final conversation. The memory is fuzzy but he was deeply saddened, that much I remember.
We were talking about Katara, about the necklace that I held; the one I carved for the woman who was ready to be his wife. I remember the look in his eyes, the sorrow and damn it, the pity. Despite everything that I was doing, things that included me trying to convince Katara that I loved her more than he did, the way he looked at me was more withering than any pain I had gone through.
He touched my shoulder, and told me that everything was going to work out, that I was going to find another woman whom I would love and who would love me back. All I can say now is that the bastard lied.
I hate myself for this, for still being in love with Katara, but I cannot help it. My eyes fix on her, on her form, on her eyes as they come into contact with mine. And then she is in my arms and we are crying, wailing actually as we hang on to each other and cry, cry for the man whom we love more than ourselves.
X
"I love you", his voice is soft and she isn't sure she'd really heard what he has to say. She looks at him, her eyes questioning, he brows furrowing. She watches his expression as they set into a determined form.
"Zuko… I…", she doesn't know what to say. Was she suppose deny him? Walk away? Call for Aang? Kiss him? She stays still as he holds her hand, as he pulls her body towards his own, kissing her gently, forcefully, desperately. She pulls away all too quickly. "I… I can't", his expression is less surprised than she had thought it would be. There is an emotion which stirs within her, is she sad? Happy? Angry? She isn't sure.
Her teeth worry her lower lip as she watches him draw the thing from his pocket. A light pink strap, a grey stone, a symbol of love. She closes her eyes. Spirits, it was a betrothal necklace. She watches him hold it out to her, beckoning her to take it, to hold it close, to wrap her arms around his neck. She does none of these, instead she holds his hands within her own smaller ones and pushes his fingers into his palm. His tears fall freely and she closes her eyes. She cannot, she will not look at him any longer. His pain is too much for even her water to heal.
Her eyes stare into his and his stare into hers and then there is a smile on his features as his lips tremble just that little bit and then he nods and turns around and she cries for him. Her tears fall freely down her face as she pities him, something she knows he never would want and then her fiancé's firebending instructor leaves her, and she sobs for him and the fact that he won't despise her, despite having the right to.
Zuko
X
It takes us more than a few cups of coffee and a few hours before we are both healthy enough in spirit to talk to each other without crying.
"I mean how does a guy like you, with those girly hands get a girl like Katara?"
Sokka's words to Aang flash through my mind like the lightning that Azula bends. The memory brings me back to the time when I was last here, in the tent adjacent to this one, I remember the food we were having, seal blubber and the emotionless façade I was trying so hard to maintain. Sokka was teasing the young airbender about his engagement to Katara. I recall feeling uncomfortable and the atmosphere of the room dropping to a difficult sorrow. The three of us, Aang, Katara and myself were exchanging awkward glances and looking at each other as if each of us had grown a new head.
Sokka hadn't a clue of course, he was too busy stuffing his face with the stew and both Katara and I excused ourselves. I don't remember anything after that, all I know is that I headed back to the Fire Nation immediately after their wedding and never returned, not until now. I clench my jaw as I stare at his lifeless form and then I am prompted by my inner voice and ask Katara a question that I should know better not to ask in a time like this.
"How did he go?"
She doesn't answer immediately, instead she looks and me, and then her features dim into a quiet world of her own. I regret my question immediately and reach a hand to my face as if I were trying to wipe away my embarrassment and then I turn to her, my features apologetic as I try to right my wrong.
"He was in her bed", her voice falls to a whisper and I look at her, I cannot hide the sorrow I feel. "It was a heart attack", she finishes and covers her face with her hands. I cannot hold back any longer and so in a heartbeat, she is in my arms and I have pressed my cheek to her forehead and am tracing soothing circles on her back. We sit for so long that she falls asleep, I look at her, my mind relieved that she is finally going to find her peace.
Katara
X
Two weeks and six days is the amount of time that has passed since Aang's death and Zuko hasn't left my side. He looks at me with those piercing golden eyes and I half expect to melt into a puddle. Zuko, son of Fire Lord Ozai and Princess Ursa, the new ruler of the Fire Nation. I watch him as he plays with my daughter, Azumi, whom I named for the Fire Nation. It never occurred to me that one day I would have a daughter for whom I would name for the nation who stole my mother but Zuko is the man who had made it all worth my while.
He steals a glance at me and I look at him with a small smile forming on my features. This man has given more for me than I would ever dare mention and for that I am grateful. There are times when I would wonder why I had let him go, why I let the man who loved me more than he loved himself go, I wonder often but have never gotten my answer. I think about Aang, about the look on the villagers' faces when they called me for help for the Avatar they had come to love.
He was still as he laid in her bed, he was so still. I remember the look of the poor woman. She was naked and that seems to fuel my anger even more. I loved Aang, yes but he had broken my heart and I don't think I can ever forgive him.
Zuko appears at my side once again and I cannot help but smile. By this time it is clear what I have to do. I have to be with him, if not for myself at least for my beloved daughter and for the man who has given his all to make me happy. I reach out and hold his hand. I don't believe in love anymore because the man who was supposed to love me and whom I was supposed to love took every bit of trust I had and spent it on a woman who never even cared for him. And then I think of the way Zuko looked at me when he first came and told me how much he loved me, when he gave me the necklace he had fashioned out of a stone and the way his tears fell from his face.
I cringe slightly at the thought and squeeze his hand as if I were apologizing, he squeezes mine in return and his eyes seem to go downcast.
"I do", I whisper and his eyes meet mine, his face stern and untelling. For a moment I am scared and then he places my hand on his heart and his eyes bore into mine.
"Tell me this isn't a dream." It isn't a question and I nod.
"It isn't", I whisper and the slightest of smirks form on my lips. This is a beginning of a new dawn.
We marry on the fifth day of July and it is a happy occasion and that night when he tells me he loves me all I can do is believe it and I believe it, even though I cannot say the same thing about my feeling for him.
A/N: so that's the end of it, however, I will continue it if the response for this chapter is good. If you have any suggestions or constructive advice please feel free to let me know. Thanks :)
A/N': the above author's note was written in 2012 whilst I was in hospital, and really bored. it is no longer valid as i have decided to continue my story. adjustments have been made to chapters 1 and 2 to fit better with the chapters to come. and again, read and review.