Can I skip this disclaimer? I ran out of jokes...
"May I speak to Shift, please?"
The boggart in question turned towards McGonagall, who was currently marching down from the staff table towards where Shift sat between his best friends. "Professor McGonagall, I presume? I've heard a lot about you, being the deputy headmistress."
"I don't doubt that you have, Shift. Would you follow me, please?" McGonagall's voice had the 'stern on the outside, amused within' quality that told the unofficial teacher that he wasn't in any trouble whatsoever. The head of gryffindor led him to her office, and he sat down as any other visitor would, casting a Muffliato on the room with a wave of his leg.
The Professor started on a serious tone. "Mr Potter, I'm sure you know why I have brought you here." Shift opened his mouth. "No, it isn't to excuse you from any future homework." Shift closed his mouth. "I assume you have heard of veritaserum?"
Shift had; it had popped up in the potions textbook while he had flipped through it a few days ago. "Yes, I have, but what does that have to do with anything? I read that it was illegal to use, and I can see why, so-"
"That is not entirely accurate, Harry. The potions textbook is a fair few years old; the laws have changed, and now veritaserum is legal, although only when the drinker agrees. I will ask you now to avoid wasting time. Do you, Harry Potter, agree to take veritaserum in front of me, and answer the questions I ask? I shall not press for personal details, et cetera, although I will need to ask about an embarrassing moment in your life to check that the potion is working."
"I agree to these terms, Professor McGonagall."
McGonagall seemed to momentarily lose focus, but Harry thought he imagined it, as she answered without hesitation. "Now, shall we get started?" She asked, handing the boggart a small vial of clear liquid, which he drank immediately.
The Professor started simply. "What is your name, age and Animagus form? If you have multiple, please state each."
"I am Harry James Potter, also known as Shift, thirteen years old, and I am a boggart Animagus."
"What was the most embarrassing thing to happen to you during the previous summer holidays?" Little did Shift know, McGonagall had still kept her eye on Harry during that summer.
"I fell asleep while writing a letter, and woke up having eaten most of the quill and a few bites of parchment." The bun-haired woman desperately kept her cool facade over the smirk she could feel fighting onto her face, but although she managed it well, Shift noticed the ever so slight change in her expression and smirked.
"Who has learned or is learning to cast Animagick alongside you, or under your tutelage?"
The boy's black skin became a sickly grey, and he grimaced before answering. He hadn't thought this through at all! "Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger learned along with me, and I have started tutoring around fifty students, although most of them deemed the lessons too difficult or illegal and quit on the first day, to return when I begin teaching a different spell. The only few left are the Weasley twins, Lee Jordan, Ginny Weasley and Neville Longbottom, as well as the only non-gryffindor, Luna Lovegood. They have all attained a partial transformation, mostly their eyes, but we still don't know their forms."
Professor McGonagall was stunned. Harry had not only gained a magical Animagus form, but could teach others in the Magicks faster than she thought possible! Most Animagicks teachers would be lucky to have a single student start transforming within two years! Harry? He had managed it in...
"How long have you tutored these people?"
"A week so far. They aren't learning as quickly as me, Ron and Hermione did, but-"
"Stop!" the teacher distractedly silenced the student/teacher with a wave of her wand; she needed quiet, along with lots and lots of time, to straighten her jumbled thoughts. Harry? He had managed it in less than a week. A week! And not just one student, either, but no fewer than SIX! That was... Minerva didn't even have the words! The boy was a genius in transfiguration and charms, a magical Animagus, a shapeshifter, and an impossible teacher! The woman giddily undid her silencing charm, reached into a pocket, and brought out a tiny stone.
"Swallow this, Harry. It's called a bezoar, and it will cure you of the effect of veritaserum, along with most other poisoning you may happen to have endured." She placed her shaking hand on the table, palm up, the bezoar sitting on top. Not for long, however, as it was now heading towards Shift's stomach at a rapid pace. The raven-haired boy grinned in relief and-
Raven-haired. The miraculously human Potter followed her gaze down, stared at his own hands, before leaping for joy, knocking several objects over, including himself. "Sorry," he beamed, "I forgot I didn't still have the weight from my legs." His smile faded a little. "Professor Lupin must have poisoned me to get stuck as the first thing I transformed into."
McGonagall frowned a little. "Harry, I understand that you feel resentment towards Prof-"
"Are you kidding? He only did that so he could find the 'real' Harry Potter! He actually cares about his students, he's the best DADA teacher we've had! It's not saying much, given that one was Voldemoron," McGonagall flinched even more violently than usual, "and the other was a fraud, but I don't think anyone could make a better DADA teacher than Professor Lupin."
McGonagall smiled a rare, proud smile. "Thank you for being so mature, Harry. Now, we have much to attend to, still, but I think you're going to like where this goes." Harry's ears pricked up, and she continued. "Firstly, as deputy headmistress, I am trusted to confirm or deny extra-curricular classes, as long as they aren't teaching anything illegal. Your classes will remain unofficial until you finish up on Animagicks, then I shall make it official."
Harry was hit by a bombshell at this news. McGonagall transfigured the floorboards into a makeshift shield, and became ever-grateful for her quick reflexes as the boy literally exploded, raining debris down from the walls, shattering the window behind the teacher's desk, and blowing several holes in the door with razor sharp quills propelled to Mach 1. She peered cautiously around the barricade, where Harry was still sitting on his chair, now looking much more embarrassed.
"Uh, sorry Professor. I don't know why that happened, I've never transformed by accident." He grew himself a beard and scratched it thoughtfully, then started. "I didn't make the beard either! Maybe I had some other kind of poisoning..."
"It would seem that way, Mr Potter, but perhaps your boggart magic is simply on the fritz after not being used in so long. I have heard that certain wands tend to explode after being stashed away for long periods of time. In fact, Mr Ollivander has stated no fewer than five wand woods that have this effect. I strongly advise you to head to wherever you teach classes and let off some steam."
The boy-who-was-human thought for a moment more. "I think I want to show you and Professor Flitwick where we have classes. I think you'll both love it." He Shifted into the half spider, and led McGonagall towards the head of ravenclaw's office.
Knocking on the door, he heard a cheerful "come in!" And he opened the door, which coincidentally had a similar squeaking to the man's voice. "Ah, Mr Potter! I assume Professor McGonagall has confirmed that you are, in fact, you?" Shift nodded and Flitwick chuckled heartily. "Well, what would you like to ask of me, Mr Potter? I have a lesson within the next..." He checked an antique-looking clock hung on the wall. "Two hours. Plenty of time, actually."
"Well, Professor, Professor McGonagall gave me veritaserum and I told her about a class I've started. I wanted to show you the room, and I think you'll like it a lot."
Flitwick perked up even more, if that was possible, and suddenly stood next to Shift, instead of on that gigantic pile of books he used as a stand. "Well then, lead the way, Mr Potter!"
The rather odd group, consisting of an uptight Professor, a miniature Professor, and a spidery Professor, walked along the seventh floor corridor, until they noticed a rather large tapestry on the wall. "Ah, here we are!"
The two official Professors turned towards Harry, and McGonagall spoke, "You simple practise in the corridor," McGonagall stated more than questioned.
"Not quite, Professor." He walked past the tapestry, then turned and walked again, then another turn and passed once more. Instantly a door began to fade into existence, a huge arch, filled with two planes of oak wood, which had silver edges and knockers, and looked simply extraordinary. Both humans found themselves gaping at Harry's find, but were snapped out of their daze by Shift's voice.
"Wait until you see the inside." With that, he wrenched open the doors, turned and bowed the teachers inside. Their jaws hit the floor. "Welcome to the Come and Go Room, also known as the Room of Requirement. As its name suggests, this room changes to include exactly what you need. I've tried asking for a few things, mostly gold, food and time, to experiment. The room gave me nothing for gold, a passage to Hogsmeade for food, and a time turner for time, so the laws of transfiguration hold here, so this room uses transfiguration. It also uses charms to detect the user's needs and bend to them, which is where I got the idea for my homework."
"A-a very astute observation, Harry. Fifty points to gryffindor for basing homework on this extraordinary room." McGonagall shook herself visibly. "Which brings us to another topic. As a teacher, you will have many oppurtunities, and even more responsibilities. You may not earn points for your house. However, you also can't lose points and shall be given the ability to give and abduct them from students as you wish. I trust you to use this power wisely, and not to abduct all points from slytherin." She smiled her proud smile once more, obviously certain Harry wouldn't abuse his privilege.
"Well, Mr Potter!" Flitwick interrupted, "Would you like to explain what you plan to teach in the future? And for that matter, what have you already taught?" And Shift explained that he had no idea what he'd teach in the future, but told them in great detail how far his students were getting.
The two teachers eventually scraped their jaws off the ground, and headed off to their first lessons, still in a state of shock.
I just started writing and found myself with almost two thousand words of story! I actually love how this is going. I never guessed I'd have Harry tell anyone other than Ron, 'Mione and the twins, but here we are, with two teachers in on the act!
Next chapter, Harry's first Ancient Runes lesson, more lessons by the boy-who-taught, and I figure out why I still write these next chapter bits when nothing on them ever comes true in the next chapter!
Until then!
PS: I removed a line along the lines of "Ask me who Sirius Black is," spoken by Harry, as I had forgotten that he didn't know himself at this point in time. Also, that never came to pass anyway, so the line was obsolete.