Katara
X
I am brushing my daughter's mop of hair when Sokka comes into the tent I share with Zuko. He has changed a great deal since the war. For one, he has a short beard, slightly more severe eyes and an aura that now commands more respect than it ever did. I look up from what I am doing and smile at him as he enters my quarters but he doesn't return the gesture.
"The committee wants to see you." He states simply and I frown. I hate those meetings, especially since I'm obviously today's topic. "I'll take care of Azumi… or not," he says when he sees me carrying my child, ready to bring her out of the tent.
"Why didn't anyone inform me about today's meeting?" I ask as I cradle Azumi. Apparently everyone has forgotten that I'm a part of this tribe's council too. "Have you forgotten my duties to this tribe?" I ask but he is silent as he leads me toward the tribe's central tent.
"Katara," he says as we pause outside the tent. "We're just concerned about you, you know? And I hate to admit it, but this whole thing is kinda bugging me as well," he says and shuts his eyes. "Look, I have opted not to be in today's sitting because I don't think I have the right to judge what you do or do not do in your married life," he says and takes my child into his arms. Azumi is obviously very curious as she turns in Sokka's embrace and looks at her uncle's grave features.
"Sokka, what's going on?" I ask but he doesn't answer me, just shakes his head and smiles very solemnly.
"It's going to be okay Sis, just go with it you know?" he says, trying to reassure me but fails miserably. I swallow hard and go in to stand before the council, even though it feels like I'm on trial.
My father, Pakku, Gran Gran, Kenichi, and his circle of religious leaders, Toph, her fiancé and the two visiting Order of the White Lotus members Tanaka and Takei are sitting in attendance. It makes me wonder when the Water Tribe council came to consist of a blind earthbender, her betrothed and two goons from the Fire Nation.
"Katara," my father's voice is very stern as it meets me at the entrance of the large tent. "I'm glad you agreed to come here," he says but that doesn't ease the tension I am feeling. "I want to hear your side before I hear anyone else's, you are my daughter and I want to know that everything is alright with you and Zuko," he tells me and I roll my eyes. Since when did my father become acquainted with Zuko on a first name basis? He always, ALWAYS referred to Aang as 'the Avatar' and never as Aang.
"Everything is alright," I stress but that does nothing to stop them from staring at me. Even Toph is frowning and that is never a good sign. "Why do you care anyway? He's my husband, I'm his wife and our business is our business, we're perfectly fine on our own," I say. The words probably don't go down well because Toph stands from her seat and shouts at me.
"Don't lie!" she booms as she scowls and points at me accusingly. Yan touches his hand to her shoulder and tries to calm her but she doesn't listen. "You think we don't know that you've been treating Zuko with that icy behavior? You think we don't know that you haven't consummated your marriage because you're too broken to let Aang go? You think we don't know that you are a selfish bitch who only wants what's good for her?" she spits and I can feel myself shrinking in size, metaphorically.
"The only reason you married him is so that you can be guaranteed a comfortable life, a secured life and a shoulder you know will always be there for you and your stupid tears. Grow up!" she screams. She doesn't stop there. "You don't deserve Zuko, Katara! you don't deserve a brother like Sokka, or a daughter like Azumi. Those things are meant for the old Katara, the one who was not afraid to feel, who was mature enough to love, not the one standing before us now!" her hatred for me is apparent but I do not back down.
"You're only saying that because you wanted to be with Aang but he never loved you. You're just bitter," I say calmly and her eyes grow. "You have no right to talk to me in that way, considering the fact that you were supposed to be wed to Yan when you turned 21. Today you are 26 and still unmarried, who's the selfish one now Toph?" I do not raise my voice because there is no need, I'm certain I hit a nerve because tears begin streaming down her face as she shakes her head and sits down.
"We are merely concerned Katara," Gran Gran's voice seeps into my very soul and I can feel a slight resentment fill my being. "I know what it's like not to love someone," she states and squeezes Pakku's hand reassuringly. "But I also know what it's like to become mature enough to let my selfishness go," she tells me and shuts her eyes for a moment. "I think what you need is to let go of your past, give that young man a chance, I know how much he loves you," she informs me with a small smile, even though it is hesitant.
Pakku stands and sighs silently. "It has been hard on you… but I'm not going to sit back while you play with that poor man's feelings!" he raises his voice. "Selfless and kind, mature and loving were words that could be used to describe you… but now… now they cannot." He sighs again and settles into his seat.
"How do you know we haven't consummated our marriage?" I ask. In my defense there are reasons to why I have rejected Zuko. 1) I think sex is way too personal for a couple who have only been romantically linked for two months to experience, 2) I cannot forget the way Aang used to kiss me, and the way he touched me, and 3) I don't want to hurt Zuko by picturing Aang in his place.
"We… listen," Gran Gran says slightly embarrassed and I fly into an uncontrollable rage.
"So, you listen? I can just picture you, you and you pressing your ears to the thick fabric walls as you listen in," I say as I point at the members of the panel. "I can just imagine you chomping down on seal blubber as you anticipate soft moans and loud screams," I am fuming, They sit silently as I rage. "It's our business, keep out of it!" I say and leave the tent. My father shouts at me and the rest of the panel begin mumbling but there is no way I'm turning back.
Sokka
X
I'm not the kind of guy that likes to be in a position of scrutiny. But Katara is just asking for it, I mean the way she is treating Zuko… I would never, ever do anything like that to Suki because of the memory of Yue. I sit in the comfort of my home where my two boys are playing with their sister and Azumi. I have left our tent open so I know when Zuko comes back from hunting with the other men.
Suki walks toward me and sits beside my form. I place a kiss on her cheek and tell her how much I love her. She tells me that she knows and that she loves me also and I can feel my body warming up.
I don't think I tell her enough, I don't think I make love to her enough, I don't think I deserve her enough. Obviously, these are not things Katara thinks of when she thinks about Zuko but I know she doesn't mean it, any of it. I shake my head as I get lost in the sight of the playing children. Suki notices this and kisses my cheek.
"What's on your mind?" she asks and I smile at her. "I mean, you're never this quiet," she remarks as she gathers our toddler daughter into her arms and hugs her. She's right, I'm never this quiet, ever. Yet now I feel like I have to be, because in front of me, a few meters away, standing right in front of the tribe's community tent, is Zuko.
Zuko
X
When I say I don't know what is happening when I get to the community tent, I mean it. Because out storms Katara and when I try to get an insight from my wife about what has happened, she pushes past me and begins sobbing. My initial intention is to follow her but then I hear the voice of Toph Beifong as she shouts.
"Go on, get out of here, we don't need you, Zuko can do better!" I hear the young earthbender's voice and I begin my journey into the large tent. Toph has streaks of tears down her cheeks and Hakoda is shaking his head. But when they see me, they pause, accept for Toph who still doesn't sense my presence.
"Toph!" Sokka raises his voice as he comes to stand beside me. She suddenly realizes what has happened and pipes down. "That's enough," he says and I shake my head.
"What's going on in here?" I ask and at first, no one answers me, I can see the shame on their faces, and the pity. They pity me. But for what? Then it dawns on me, they know that Katara and I have not been intimate. I can feel my face reddening, I can feel the embarrassment that is flooding me. "Fuck no," I say as I leave the tent and push Sokka away as he tries to calm me. What were they thinking when they said whatever they said to Katara?
Married life is difficult, and it is going to be more difficult now that they have confronted Katara.
She is still sobbing when I come to her.
"Katara?" I say as I settle on the fur pelts that she is sitting on but she doesn't say anything. "I don't know what they said to you, and I don't know how they know. But I swear, I never told them anything, it isn't what you think," I say but she doesn't make a move to ease the tension.
"Zuko," she says, the first words from her to me in ages. They are laced with such emotion I have to shut my eyes. "I'm sorry, about everything," she tells me and I can almost feel the guilt that washes over her. "I… I know it's been hard on you, but you know how much Aang means to me, and when I see you, all I see is how he used to be when we were together," she is sobbing so hard now I cannot bring myself to look into her face. The words that come out of her mouth do not help either.
"You don't love me," it isn't a question, I know this is true. "You will never love me, now will you? I can be the best fucking husband in this whole damn world and you will still be thinking about how his lips felt on yours at the invasion, how he touched you on your wedding night. No matter what I do, you will always think of him, I am nothing to you." I can feel the tears that come, for the first time in our marriage, I have spoken the words that were not meant to be said. "Despite this," I continue through my curtain of tears, "I want you to know that I love you," I say as I stand and disappear from the tent.
A/N: review people! i love hearing from you! by the way, this chapter doesn't have a flashback, and that's because i want to get inspiration from you! please write to me, giving me your suggestions, who knows? maybe you will be the one responsible for the next flashback? haha thanks and remember to rnr!