The song doesn't belong to me, either. On that note, warning: song ahead. Only a small inconsequential one but whatever.
The next day, Shift and Ron (Hermione was busy owl-ordering some books that Harry asked for after Ancient Runes, and Harry found he liked the extra weight of his legs) sat on the bed of the shrieking shack, chatting animatedly about the homemade snitch, when a shuffling sound was heard, and the trapdoor entrance creaked open.
"Blimey, Harry-"
"That's Shift to you, gentlemen."
"Blimey, Shift," the twins tried, grinning. "Still can't believe you got here! It's on the map, but we couldn't get past the Willow!"
"You're welcome, Mr Weasley and Mr Weasley." Shift bowed deeply, then produced the Guide, which he had borrowed from Hagrid after breakfast. He smirked and said, "Moony, Padfoot and Prongs have been a bri... What?" Gred and Forge were gazing open mouthed at the dull red book, seemingly caught in a trance. "Guys, what?"
They shook themselves in unison, then George spoke. "Those're the same guys who made the map!"
"How'd you get it?" Fred demanded. It was incredibly hard to demand something after being struck down by awe, he found.
Ron shrugged. "It was laying on Harry's bed in the Leaky Cauldron just before we left, according to him. Professor Lupin saw it and I think he knew them. Said he knew they would teach us Animagick first."
The twins' eyes glistened in glee. "He might be one of them!"
"Not Prongs, though, sounds too proud."
"Maybe Padfoot? He is really quiet."
Padfoot... "Wait!" Everyone turned to Shift, the twins' speculation having derailed. "What if they're named after their Animagus forms?" Nobody seemed convinced, so he elaborated. "They taught us Animagick before anything else, and I did exactly the same thing, calling my form Shift! It makes sense!"
Gred recovered first, and raised an eyebrow. "What would Prongs mean, then?"
"Prongs is probably a... Something with horns," Shift ended lamely. "Wait, maybe a deer? Or some kind of goat, maybe, or a bull, but the deer makes more sense."
Ron put on a thinking face that surprisingly didn't seem out of place on him. "Maybe Wormtail is a mouse or rat, like Hagrid. I'd go with a rat, because they're supposed to have worm tails."
The twins spoke in turns again. "Maybe he's your-"
"-pet rat, Ronniekins," they joked, and Ron looked thoughtful again.
"Come to think of it, I haven't seen Scabbers since we came to Hogwarts. Maybe he died of old age and Crookshanks ate him. It would be about time after twelve years."
Shift's ears pricked up. "He went missing just after we became Animagi, then. Maybe we did have Wormtail with us." He chuckled a little, then moved on. "What about Padfoot? Cats have padded feet. Maybe it was Professor McGonagall."
The village was silent for a second, then the residents of Hogsmeade had another fright as the gales of laughter poured out of the half-rotten wooden house.
The laugher died down within a few minutes and the four boys were left breathless. Shift recovered first, leaping off the bed and beaming his face apart. "I have an idea!" His singsong voice snapped the other three out of their stupors, and they soon sat with similar expressions to the not-spidery not-Harry in front of them. Hogwarts beware.
Breakfast the next day was pandemonium. It had started off all well and good, but then the Weasley twins sauntered in.
All four of them.
They stood on the gryffindor table, and three redheads filled the room with 'Ooo's arranged into music. The four turned to the staff table, locking eyes with Professor Dumbledore, and a glamoured Ron started his solo.
"We're no strangers to love,
You know the rules, and so do I!
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of,
You wouldn't get this from any other guy!
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling,
Gotta make you understand!"
Several students, even some from slytherin, were now clapping in time with the A Capella, Dumbledore had twinkles in his eyes that almost hurt to look at, and the rest of the staff simply stared at the twins, no doubt dreading the coming lessons. Snape's disgusted face, especially, was worth all the trouble they would get in. All four redheads joined in for the chorus, switching places every few words and confusing everyone.
"Never gonna give you up!
Never gonna let you down!
Never gonna run around and desert you!
Never gonna make you cry!
Never gonna say goodbye!
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you!"
By the end of the song, even Snape had joined in the chorus for some reason. Many assumed that the Weasleys had spiked his pumpkin juice, along with the other teachers', but the drinks hadn't been touched. The potions master had very few guilty pleasures, but the redheads had inexplicably found one. That made him angry.
"two hundred points from gryffindor for disrupting breakfast," he hissed, and most students booed. Along with Professor McGonagall.
"Fifty points to gryffindor each, for an absolutely wonderful song." A few first years turned towards the headmaster in shock, followed by Snape, who seemed to be turning an unhealthy shade of... Vernon.
"Fifty points each," McGonagall added, smiling warmly. "That was the best meal I have had in quite a while."
The twins were still bowing to deafening cheers (and death glares from Snape) when breakfast ended. An interesting choice presented itself in the form of a question from the twins.
"Are you going to come with-"
"-us to our lessons today-"
"-fine and incredibly-"
"-handsome Sirs?"
Fred and George turned to the disguised Harry and Ron, processing their question, before beaming widely.
"You're thinking more like-"
"-Weasley twins every day," they cheered, and off the quadruplets went to Defence Against the Dark Arts, leaving a hysterically giggling Hermione in their wake.
Harry and Ron make it to fifth year DADA! Who's teaching, and what will they learn? Find out next time!