I am not JK Rowling. Seriously, that question's getting old.
"Harry!"
Said gryffindor looked up at Hermione, who had just burst through the Fat Lady's portrait, with bags under her eyes and a wide smile on her face. "Did you get any sleep last night, 'Mione?" He asked, worried for her health.
"No, but I found," she checked over her shoulders for any eavesdroppers, still panting frantically, before lowering her voice a little, "a book about Boggarts! Apparently intelligent ones are really rare, and they have defining characteristics that match up with yours!"
"Glad to know I'm smart," Harry grinned. "Mind if I read the book? I'll do your homework so you can rest, while I'm at it."
"Okay, it can be payback for the book."
Hermione had come far over the month or two back at Hogwarts. She no longer felt the need to constantly harass people about their homework, and had stopped conforming to rules so tightly, even pulling a prank or two every now and then.
The mystery of the pink Nimbus 2000 had been a fun one. Harry had kept the colour charm, much to Oliver Wood's irritation. That had given the slytherins another source of hateful comments, but by now Harry found their jeering amusing, usually responding with a wave or a tip of the non-existent hat.
The boggart-who-lived snapped back to the present just in time to hear Hermione ask, "Harry, are you okay?"
He shook himself slightly, a little dazed. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"
Hermione raised an eyebrow in concern. "You've been staring off at nothing for the past," she cast a quick Tempus, "ten minutes."
Harry knew dimly that he should be more concerned, but he wasn't, for some odd reason. "I only slept a few hours myself, I think i must have just dozed off."
The bushy girl's left eyebrow joined the right at the top of her head, but she eventually gave in. "Fine, but don't kill yourself, okay? I want to hear you've slept properly."
He gave a cocky salute as Hermione sighed. "Yessir Ma'am Sir!"
He finished Hermione's homework in record time, having Shifted to look like her and use her handwriting. At least he knew muscle memory passed onto his forms. He didn't understand how, but he was glad it did, as he told himself while staring at the front cover of Hermione's amazing find.
'The Bumper Book of Boggarts, Brainless to Brilliant, by Liam Frost.'
Curiosity piqued, Harry flipped open the front cover, wincing as it collided with the wooden arm of his chair of choice; thankfully nobody was awake to hear the inexplicably loud bang it produced, or he'd be forced to explain his sudden interest in Boggarts. He fingered down the contents page, looking for a good place to start, when a line caught his eye. 'Differences and Similarities Between Brilliant and Brainless Boggarts.'
Harry followed an invisible line with his finger, then flicked through to page twenty-two. At the top was the title in large cursive writing, but the boy ignored it in favour of the paragraph below.
'There are many differences between Brilliant and Brainless Boggarts, but most people only learn about the Brainless variety. This is because just a year before the time of this book (1987), they had been thought extinct, for reasons unknown, despite many speculations from experts. It is unclear how, but these creatures have begun appearing once more around the globe. They are still rare enough, however, to not be considered a threat to the magical population, and thus aren't generally touched upon in schools.
The most outstanding difference between the two varieties is not, as the name suggests, intelligence. Although this is a major factor, it is often largely unnoticed by wizards, as it is near impossible to measure intelligence on a scale. "Can that Boggart speak? No? It must be stupid." This is the point that many wizards will stop at, believing that their job is done. What must be asked here is, "WHY don't they speak?" They may simply be separated from us by a language barrier, or perhaps they deem speaking to be too troublesome. It is for this reason that the traits below are the ones most often used to distinguish between the two sets of Boggart.
Firstly and most obviously, Brilliant Boggarts can not breathe without some form of oxygen. If you lock a Brilliant Boggart in a sealed wardrobe, it will eventually die from oxygen deprivation. However, they can take oxygen in any form, be it from the air, water or even as a freezing liquid, as I found out thanks to a strange muggle device. However, unlike Brainless Boggarts, Brilliant ones do not feed upon fear, rather using their abilities for self-protection.
A little known fact about Brainless Boggarts is that they don't take any form when alone, simply shifting rapidly between the last two forms they had taken. Brilliant Boggarts, on the other hand, will stay in a single form when left alone, generally the last form they took, the one they have used the most, or their preferred form.
The preferred form is the physical representation of a Brilliant Boggart's personality. Much like the Animagus in humans, this form has to be earned a little at a time, but unlike humans it is generally a much slower process. A few months after a Brilliant Boggart achieves a similar intelligence to a human teenager, they begin to experience side effects of their preferred form, which will be present in all the Boggart's forms. This can be anything from slitted eyes on a human form, to breathing fire as a mouse. The effects generally include magic; a Boggart with the preferred form of a Dragon would be more suited to fire and flight magic. Also included is personality; a Boggart with a dragon preferred form would most likely be overprotective of anything they see as theirs.
Side effects are generally fairly easy to spot; if a fire crab flies or a seahorse breathes fire, you can be fairly certain that the preferred form is a dragon. On the other hand, many magical creatures have similar traits, both magical and physical; slitted eyes might be a dragon's, or they could belong to a kneazel, while fire breathing could be evidence of a flaming salamander.
It is important that the Boggart does not try to transform without a 'Fear Catalyst'- that is, the fear of a creature, which Boggarts use to transform- when they aren't certain of their preferred form. Transforming into a form other than the preferred without said Catalyst can lock down a Boggart's magic, leaving them stuck in the form until a bezoar is administered. This possibility, while uncommon, is almost certain to happen if the Boggart has drunk a Wolfsbane potion, for reasons impossible to explain, although is likely boils down to the instinct-altering effect of the potion.'
Harry started as Ron stumbled into the room, Neville and Seamus trailing behind him. "Harry, it's breakfast time. What're you doing, reading at stupid o'clock in the morning?"
Giggling (the boys stared at him) at Ron's haggard expression, Harry quickly replied, "sure, let's go."
"Harry, you okay?" Said boy stared back at Neville, confused.
"Yeah, why? I haven't been staring at nothing, have I?"
"Actually yeah, you have," Seamus replied sheepishly, and Harry stood.
"Whatever, time for breakfast!" And Harry sprinted to the dorms, deposited his book and ran back to join the group, which now included a yawning Dean, and walked with them towards the great hall.
"Before we begin our no doubt wonderful breakfast, I have a delightful announcement to make! Although he is not currently present," Harry could tell that Dumbledore hadn't been told about Shift's identity from the man's voice; the headmaster spoke ever so slightly slower when he knew what was going on, but right now he was speaking normally. Well, as normally as an insane but loveable teacher can speak, anyway. Harry found himself thanking Merlin that Dumbledore didn't know; he really didn't want to be forced to sign a registry, as then where would his advantage against Voldemort be?
That's what he told himself, anyway. He actually just didn't want to disappoint the Professor. He wondered why McGonagall and Flitwick hadn't chastised him, but couldn't think or any reason and quickly became bored, so he turned to eat, having completely missed the end of Dumbledore's speech. He would just ask Ron about it later.
He turned, hoping to grab a whole raw fish that had somehow made its way onto the table, before he caught the looks on the group's faces again. "Do I have glowing eyes today? Why are you staring at me?"
"You zoned out again, Harry," Ron alerted him.
Neville chipped in, a concerned look on his face. "I think you should see Madam Pomfrey after breakfast, she'll know what's wrong."
Harry just snorted, turning back to the raw fish and biting down on its belly, much to everyone else's disgust. "Blimey mate, eat something cooked already!"
"Hate cooked," Harry pouted between mouthfuls, "Takes the flavour out."
After the first meal of the day, Ron got ready to leave for Hogsmeade with an apologetic smile on his face. "Sorry you can't come, Harry, I'll make sure to bring back some butterbeer."
Harry just grinned. "Teachers can go whenever they want, wherever they want, as long as they attend lessons." Ron's jaw went slack, and Harry giggled again, revelling in Ron's terrified expression. "Anyway, I could go to America if I was back for tomorrow."
Ron shook his head to clear it, then remembered, "where's Hermione?"
"Oh, she's sleeping. Hang on, I'll get her..." Harry hopped up the steps two at a time, and returned a minute later with a surprised Hermione in tow.
"HARRY!"
Said boy turned to his friend innocently. "Yes, 'Mione?"
Hermione took a calming breath, unsure if her heart could take much more stress. "How did you get up the stairs, they have an encha- oh."
"Wha- oh."
"Yeah."
Harry stared down at herself, entirely nonplussed at the sight her eyes were greeted with. "I didn't mean to do that, I'm changing back now."
Ron snapped out of what felt like his fiftieth daze today, to comment quickly, "Please do, really quickly. I'd rather my best mate was still a guy."
Ten minutes later, Ron the dragon, Luna the snorkack, Fred the weasel, George the weasel, Lee Jordan the tarantula, Ginny the bat, Neville the wasp, Hermione the owl and Shift the grumpy half-spider were walking through the passage to the Shrieking Shack, having decided to bypass Filch. All the Animagi knew about the connection between Shift and Harry, and all of them had sworn not to tell anyone else.
"Shift, what's wrong?" Hermione had changed back to her human form.
"I just want my own Animagus form. Everyone else has one, but I'm stuck copying people's fears, and I can't even do that properly!"
Everybody changed back at once to question Shift, and he found himself telling the others about the so called 'preferred form', as well as possible side effects. Lee was the first to comment. "I think I remember a magical creatures book had mouse things that couldn't stand the cold, I'll try to find it when we get back!"
Harry smiled; in the month or so that Harry had known him, Lee had proven a loyal friend, sticking by his mates no matter what. "Thanks, Lee. I think I'll need all the help I can get."
The rest of the walk was largely uneventful, and when the jumbled assortment of animals tumbled out of the passage, they split off into pairs and a three. Ron and Luna partnered, Shift giggling every time he thought about them together, much to the twins' and Lee's horror. Shift thought it was a match made in heaven. Ginny and Neville had already gone off somewhere, both blushing pink as they left. Fred, George and Lee were planning to prank the entirety of Hogsmeade with an Engorgio'd powder bomb and some cold fire pills. (just add powder!)
That left Shift and Hermione, which they both felt was perfect as they shared a cuddle, ready to leave for wherever.
Shift found himself once again staring at Honeydukes, though it wasn't the smell of chocolate that reeled him in; rather, it was the strange smell of... Something. "'Mione, can we go to Honeydukes first? I smell something weird and nice over there!"
Hermione huffed frustratedly. "Not until you tell me why you're acting so strangely. I wouldn't mind, but it just happened overnight!"
"Well I figured if I wanted to find my preferred form, I'd need to act how I feel a bit more," he stated, as if it was the most obvious fact in the world.
Hermione cringed a little. She didn't know this Harry! She was still his friend, but he seemed much more... Childish! She didn't know his likes, dislikes, anything! And he was so much more blunt in the way he spoke, as if he forgot that not everyone knows the answers!
Shift grabbed Hermione's face gently with two legs, snapping her out of her thoughts as he squeezed, giggling at the strange fish-like face she was forced to make. She shook her head to clear it of thoughts, then slapped away his legs and pouted slightly. "Okay, we'll go to Honeydukes. Only if we go to the Three Broomsticks afterwards, though."
"Alright!" And they set off for the sweet shop together.
As the two stepped into Honeydukes, Shift went a little light-headed, looking wildly around for the source of the strange perfume. He eventually figured out its general direction, tripping people up with his legs and prompting tens of people to hide their backs against the wall, with Hermione trailing behind and muttering apologies to the terrified population.
"Foun't it! 'Mione, hey! Issa box'a stuff!"
Hermione sensed danger and idiocy in the near future, and sprinted to find Shift with his nose to a box of... "Catnip, Shift, really?" The spider only giggled; from his perspective the room was spinning crazily.
"C'we ge'some?" He heard his own jumbled speech and his laughter renewed itself. "Qui gessum!"
"Only if you don't smell it until we're back at the common room."
"Aww... 'Kay!" The gryffindor girl sighed in relief; she hadn't expected Shift to give it up so easily. She conjured a sphere around the box to keep the smell away from him, and strode up to the counter.
Shift was too giggly to hear her hour-long rant about leaving catnip in the open.
"Alright! Le's go to the Bee Throomsticks!" Although the catnip had worn off slightly, Shift was still getting words muddled up, and Hermione found herself dreading their trip to the pub.
She needn't have worried though. Apparently butterbeer was a catnip antidote, and with that thought Hermione bought ten more bottles to store with the small box.
Shift, do you think your preferred form could be a cat of some sort?
He snorted lightly. "'Mione, what cat would act like I do? I think it's some magical creature, like a rodent or something, which just happens to like catnip." He took another swig of butterbeer and slammed it on the table. "Why can't I just know for sure?"
"Oh, stop whining, it won't fix anything." She considered, then added, "Let's buy some Magical Creatures books from Tomes and Scrolls. I need some for research, anyway."
After passing through T&S, the pair jumped between shops for a while, before calling it a day. Shift had bought a few powder bombs, which reminded him of something unsettling. The memories were a bit hazy after the catnip, but he could have sworn he'd heard-
BOOM. The joke shop shuddered as outside was suddenly coated in a fine white powder, which looked surprisingly like snow.
Except for a blanket of pink fire, which only burned the powder, leaving no scorch marks as it should have. The fire died out quickly, leaving absolutely no evidence that it ever existed. Then the sky darkened to a night blue, revealing what seemed to be muggle lasers, highlighting the top of the building opposite Zonko's. "PLEASE WELCOME FRED AND GEORGE WEASLEY TO THE STAGE!" Lee Jordan's voice rang out over the pair's heads, and Shift grinned in anticipation.
"THANK YOU-"
"-ONE AND ALL!"
The twins waited for the unsure cheers and evil looks to die down, and opened their mouthes together.
The they walked off the stage, heads held high, to the confused muttering of the gathered crowd. Only Shift was clapping, but he had four legs to clap with and two hands to whistle with. He waited for the confused clapping to start again, before dragging Hermione to go and congratulate the trio on a prank well done.
A bumper length chapter! I'm hoping to continue writing longer chapters, if only to make myself feel accomplished.
What is Harry's preferred form? Find out some time in the distant future!
I changed Harry's personality to be more carefree, more childish and less embarrassed by things, but my excuse is that he was trying to hide his long-term personality change, worrying about it. When he read the Boggart book, he realised that the change was because of his preferred form and relaxed, letting out the giggles and such.
Yes, Harry is incredibly giggly. He finds everything hilarious, and now he doesn't have to hide that.