A/N: I cried writing this chapter. Please leave a review and I will try to update as soon as possible. :)

Four months later

Olivia sat on the couch. The pain in her stomach was getting worse. She had been pain free and not sick at all for four months. She knew it would be coming but she didn't think it would have been this soon. She looked over at Brian who just entered the apartment.

"Hey. Are you okay?" Brian put his phone on the counter and took his jacket off. He walked over to Olivia and sat beside her.

She shook her head; her eyes filled with tears. "My stomach is starting to hurt again." She covered her hand with her mouth. She didn't want to cry, but she knew she was going too. This scared her.

Brian's face turned pale. He swallowed hard. They both knew that the cancer would be worse as the months passed; they just didn't realize how fast it would happen. Brian took Olivia's hand in his. He reached up and wiped the tears off her cheeks.

"You're strong, Olivia." His heart hurt. He wished more than anything Olivia would be okay.

Olivia shook her head. "Brian I am scared. I am going to die in a few months." She let out a sob.

Brian took Olivia in his arms and kissed her cheek. He hated this. He never knew what to say when she got like this. Brian stood up and took the album he and Olivia had created over the past three months. "Olivia. Look at this with me." He sat beside her and opened the photo album. Olivia laid her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his waist.

The first picture was of them standing in front of the Eiffel tower in Paris. They both looked happy. The next few pages were pictures from their trip to Paris. Olivia pointed to the picture of her and Brian in Italy. "That's my favourite picture of us from all these trips."

Brian smiled. Their trip to Italy had been his favourite one so far. They had gone to Paris, Italy, Greece and England. They had also done a few little things like a few concerts, baseball games, tourist attractions; they were experiencing all that Olivia loved or had never done, and it made Brian happy to see Olivia happy.

Brian looked at Olivia. "You told me that you have one more thing on your bucket list. Can you tell me what it is now?"

Olivia smiled. "You really want to know?"

Brian chuckled. "Yeah."

Olivia closed the album and set it on the table beside the couch. "One of my favourite places I have ever been with you is the Bahamas. I want to go back. Except this time, I want my family, my work family, to be there. And this time I want to renew our vows."

Brian smiled; tears filled his eyes. "I love that idea."

Olivia nodded. "I already talked to my squad and some other friends. Cragen, Fin, and Alex are all set to go. The others have to stay. They can't get work off." Olivia was sad her other friends, who she would consider her family, couldn't go with them. She was grateful the four people she cared about most could go. Brian, Cragen, Fin, and Alex She wouldn't have it any other way.

Brian smiled. "When are we going?"

Olivia grinned. "In one month and three days."

Brian forced a smile. He was glad they were going, and that Olivia wanted to renew their vows; but she didn't know how Olivia would be feeling in a month. She was already beginning to feel sicker. He did not know how much worse it could be in a month.

Olivia stood up. "I am getting tired. Goodnight love." She kissed Brian softly and made her to bed. When Brian heard the door shut; he quickly grabbed the phone and dialed the number he rarely called. He only called this number when he really needed someone to talk to. These past few days Brian had been feeling sad. He already missed Olivia and she wasn't even gone yet.

"Cragen."

Brian sighed. "Hey Captain." Cragen hadn't been Brian's Captain for years; yet it would seem weird not to call him Captain.

"Brian. What's wrong? Is everything okay with Olivia?"

"I think she is okay. Today I came home and she was on the couch. She is getting stomach pains again."

Brian heard him sigh.

"It hit me, Captain. Olivia got really sick just after her stomach pains began. She is actually dying and I can't do a damn thing about it."

"Brian, I know this is hard. But you have to be there and make the best."

"Cragen I don't know anymore. This is really hitting me hard. I miss her. I miss the Olivia who could do things like walk down the street or walk across the apartment without losing her breath. I miss the Olivia who was dedicated to her job. I miss the Olivia who never gave much thought as to how she would die. I miss the Olivia told me her hopes for the future, not just that she hoped she doesn't die soon. I miss the way things were. I miss it so much. I miss things that I will never have now. Like a family. It breaks my heart to think Olivia will never be able to be a mom. It breaks my heart that I am going to have to live the rest of my life without her by my side."

Brian listened to silence. He knew Cragen didn't know what to say.

"Tonight she told me that in a month we were going to the Bahamas. To renew our vows. I cannot wait to do that with her. For her. But after seeing her cry in pain tonight, I don't know how she will be in a month. The cancer is really bad now. We just don't see how bad it actually is because she isn't getting the chemo. If I could make her take the chemo I would. But I can't."

"Brian I wish more than anything that Olivia could be okay. I wish I could trade places with her. I don't know why things like this happen to good people. Olivia Cassidy did not deserve this. But everything happens for a reason. We may not understand that reason. We may never understand that reason. But if we make the best of what time we have left with Olivia, it will all be okay."

Brian failed at holding back his tears. He quietly cried into the phone. "Thank you. I appreciate how much help you have been this past while. Thank you."

"You're welcome Brian. Now go see your wife and tell her you love her."

Brian chuckled softly. "I will. Bye." He hung up the phone and walked into the bedroom. Olivia was sitting up in bed crying.

"Olivia. What's wrong?" Brian rushed to her side and took her hand in his.

She pulled her hand out of his and crossed her arms. "I'm sorry I am not the person you wished I was. I am sorry that I chose death over pain. I am sorry that I am not what you want." Tears flowed down her cheeks. Brian looked down. She had heard him.

"Liv-"

"Stop," She cut him off. "I know you wish you didn't have to deal with me and my sickness. I know you wish that you could run. You want to run, but you feel bad. Brian if you want to leave just leave. Go. I don't care. I do not need your pity."

"Liv that's not what I meant. I miss the way things were. I do not want to leave you. I love you so much it hurts. I would do anything for you. Olivia I have no clue how I am going to live without you."

Olivia wiped her eyes. "I need to be alone." She whispered and looked down.

Brian wiped his own tears. "Okay. I'll sleep on the couch. But Liv, I love you. Don't think that I want to leave you. I never would. Ever. You are everything I could ever want."

Olivia shook her head. "Brian I need you to leave. I need to be alone for a while."

Brian turned to look at her. "You want me to leave you? I thought you were just mad because you didn't want me to leave."

"Brian I always wondered if you thought some of the things you said. And knowing what you really think about those things, hearing you actually say it, made me wonder if you wanted to leave me. Now I can't help but wonder if this is too much for you. If there is so much more that you aren't telling me."

"Olivia I am not going to lie. Ever since you got sick, it hasn't been easy for me. At all. I miss the way things were. I really do. There is a lot I wish for. But I do not want to leave you. I am so unbelievably proud of your decision not to get the chemo. It was a brave decision. A hard decision. And I am proud of you. So proud."

Olivia wiped her eyes. "Please just go. I will talk to you tomorrow."

Brian didn't say anything. He grabbed a bag and put some clothes and couple other things into it and walked to the bedroom door. "Night, Liv. I love you."

She didn't answer him. He looked at her one last time and opened the door and left; closing it behind him. He walked to his car and drove away from the apartment building. Brian's vision was blurred from the tears. He wished Olivia knew that he didn't mean it the way she thought he did. He wished she could understand that he did not want to leave her. Olivia misunderstood him; and he wished she could understand what he really meant.

The red light turned green and Brian started driving across the street. He saw the headlights coming beside him but it was too late for him to react. Metal hit metal and Brian was on the side the truck hit him on. His car flipped over and landed on the roof. Everything went black.