I want to again thank Halawen for all her encouragement and support not just in my writing but in general. She is a wonderful best friend, and I can't thank her enough for everything. And I want to thank all my readers for your understanding while I was away, and I'm sorry you didn't get updates during that time, but I hope you enjoy this new chapter!

Ch 16. Accepting the Future and the Past

(Owen)

"So what's this about guys?" I ask once we're sitting in the Torres basement. "Besides, I'm kind of surprised you both wanted to see us," I comment and Clare nods in agreement.

"Well, I spoke with Drew yesterday, not about us but about you two, and after some discussion, we decided that we would like to give the two of you the apartment we were supposed to move into this past weekend," Bianca explains and I'm floored.

"You're giving us your apartment? But you can't," Clare comments and I look at her and then back at my best friends.

"Yes we can, if you guys would like it I mean," Drew comments.

"But it's your apartment," I remind them.

"But we're not together, we don't need the apartment because we never got married. But the two of you did, and we saw you at your parents' house Owen. We know they are being supportive, but can't support you guys forever. So I talked to Drew, and he agreed that we'd like you two to take the apartment. We already paid the rent for the month of May so you guys are covered, and then hopefully when June starts you will have either saved a bit, or because you're out of the house your parents can still support you for another month or so until you have enough," Bianca tells us and I'm still shocked. Clare and I look at each other for a moment but don't say anything.

"Won't you guys still want the apartment?" Clare asks.

"We'll figure out something when and if the time comes," Bianca comments and I see the dejected look on Drew's face, but I can't do much to help him right now.

"We'll find a way to pay you back," Clare says after a moment, and I nod in agreement even though we haven't really discussed this.

"No, this is from us to the both of you. You deserve to live on your own, after all you are married," Drew comments, and I see he looks between us and then looks at Bianca, and I know he realizes how big a mistake he really made.

Clare looks at me, and I smile and nod, because I think this is right. "What do you think?" I ask her.

"I think we shouldn't reject this awesome gift from our friends," she comments and I smile.

"Ok, then we'll take it. How can we ever thank you guys?" I ask.

"Seeing you both happy is enough for me," Bianca comments, and Drew stays quiet. Clare gets up hugging Bianca and then Drew and I stand hugging Bianca and Drew and I fist bump. "We can go to the landlord tomorrow, and get everything worked out," Bianca comments, and we decide to go during the day, while Clare is at school which she is okay with, and then I can take her there in the afternoon. We say goodbye, and I see Bianca leave at the same time as us with a very quick bye to Drew as she goes. Clare and I get in the car and head home.

When we arrive we tell my parents about the apartment and they are happy, but as a lawyer dad says he'd like to go with us tomorrow, so we plan to go during his lunch hour.

(Clare)

It's Saturday morning and for the past few afternoons Owen and I have slowly been moving our stuff from his house into the apartment we got approved for on Wednesday. He had another interview on Thursday to work at the garage with Jay and got hired so he would start work this coming week. Yesterday the paperwork for my legal name change came through and we were both really excited. We decided that Monday we'd officially start wearing our rings and telling people who didn't know. We'd kiss too, but wouldn't make a big spectacle of it, and just tell people as they asked. But now we're at the house with all our friends who were in town packing up and moving the last of our stuff to take to the apartment. Peter was out with Jane to celebrate as her birthday was yesterday so they weren't here.

Instead of a large moving truck everything was going in cars and the one small moving truck we rented for the day, as we only had a few big things that needed to go. Noah and Omar had been able to get the last of my stuff from my mom's house yesterday. "Clare?" Owen calls and then I feel him walk up behind me into what has been his room all his life and then our room for a little less than two weeks. "Hey beautiful, what are you looking at?" he asks softly wrapping his arms around my waist from behind.

"Just seeing if we left anything behind," I comment. "And I was just thinking about how I only lived here a couple of weeks, and yet I felt like I could have always lived here. I actually felt comfortable being here," I remark and then I turn in his arms and lean against them slightly so I can look into Owen's face.

"I'm glad you felt so comfortable, because this is your home too," Owen remarks and I smile wrapping my arms around his waist too.

"You guys ready everything appears to be packed up," Mark comments from the doorway with Gaea at his side. Since they started dating they really have become a really great couple, although she still hasn't mentioned telling him about her past, but she knows it needs to happen soon.

"Yep, I think we're ready," I comment to our friends, but Owen keeps his arms wrapped tight and leans down and kisses me since we were interrupted a moment ago. When he pulls away we all head out, and we have a parade of cars headed from the house to the apartment. When we arrive we begin to unpack. Well Noah, Owen, Jay and some of the other guys unpack the large things such as the bed and dresser while the rest of us grab bags and boxes from some of the cars. We were moving Owen's stuff into the apartment while my bed and dresser were staying at Owen's parent's house for now as there wasn't room for everything and his stuff was bigger than mine to fit both of us.

While a bunch of us are moving in furniture and boxes, Emma, Danielle and Audra are making lunch for everyone. Danielle and Audra have both really become moms to me recently; especially after what they saw happen with my mom last Sunday. My mom had to stay in jail overnight Sunday, but as Gaea didn't press charges on Glen he was released. I got a call that her bail was set Monday afternoon, and that she demanded that Glen get her out. I really do wish he had the guts to stand up to her.

"Clare, where do you want this?" Drew asks, knocking me out of my thoughts. I look around and decide, and as I bring in stuff too Owen and I get asked this many times. He also asks me a few times also.

Once everything is in and generally in the correct rooms even if not yet put away we all thank the moms for making lunch and then get our food and sit down. We now have a couple of chairs in the living room that had been in Owen's room, and even have a dining set that had come from his grandparents so most of us can sit comfortably. I sit next to Owen and I'm just about to begin eating and then I get a bubbling feeling in my stomach. I stand up in a rush almost dropping my paper plate on my chair and run for the bathroom pushing the door closed as much as I can as I lift the seat dropping my head in and up comes my breakfast from this morning, and maybe even some of last night's dinner.

I hear the door being pushed open and then someone is pulling back my hair which I tried to move but didn't have much luck with. I assume its Owen sitting next to me, but he stays quiet until I finish and then bring my head up and tiredly lean against the bathtub. I hear Owen get up but I have my eyes closed, and then he's next to me again placing a cup in my hand. "Here's some water Clare," he remarks, and I take a few sips attempting to get rid of the taste in my mouth.

"Thanks Owen," I comment tiredly, and I lean my head on his shoulder and he wraps his arm around mine.

"You're welcome, but what happened? Are you getting sick?" he asks.

"I haven't been feeling sick. Actually I've been feeling pretty good recently," I tell him. "I'm not sure why I suddenly got sick," I comment.

"Maybe we should thank everyone for helping and then you should lie down," Owen suggests and I slowly nod my head. Owen helps me stand up, and we head back out to the living room where everyone was eating, but they all look up when we come in.

"Clare honey, are you alright?" Danielle asks when she sees us.

"I think so, but I'm gonna go lie down for a while, thank you all so much for helping us with this. We appreciate everything you guys have all done for us," I tell them with a slight smile, and then look around at everyone before I slowly head back to our new room. With just moving in I'm not sure where the sheets are but I don't care right now and just lie right on the mattress. A moment later Owen comes in and I feel a blanket laid over me and I fall asleep quickly.

(Fitz)

After Owen followed Clare into their room after finding a blanket everyone else finishes their lunch quickly, and then when he comes back out we all say goodbye quietly hoping Clare feels better soon and then head home.

All this week Gaea and I had been talking when she'd come into the Dot after school. And then I'd drop her off at home on my breaks or after work dependant on my hours that day. Some days I'd see Kai or her little sister sitting at the window, but she still hadn't invited me in since the night she was in the hospital. So I invited her to meet my mom this afternoon in the hopes that maybe she'd feel comfortable introducing me to her family after meeting mine, or at least my mom.

I pull into the driveway and unlock the door when we get there as I still had a key. I didn't see my step-dad or step-brother Steve's cars so I figure they aren't here, which is the best situation for all of us. "Mom, it's me," I call into the house as I walk toward the kitchen and Gaea follows me.

"Oh honey I'm so happy to see you," mom gushes excitedly when she sees me running over to give me a hug, and I kiss her cheek.

"I'm happy to see you too mom, how are you doing?" I ask. I always want to make sure of how she is, although I know she'll always answer fine because she refuses to say anything against my step-dad George.

"Everything's fine honey. So who is this?" she asks when she notices Gaea a step behind me.

"Mom, this is my girlfriend Gaea," I introduce them putting my arm around Gaea's waist. "Gaea this is my mom Marie."

"It's nice to meet you," Gaea says and puts out her hand.

"You too sweetie," mom says but instead of shaking her hand mom reaches out to give Gaea a hug instead. Gaea seems alright with this and hugs my mom back. We head into the kitchen and mom asks us if we want drinks, and although we just had lunch at the apartment she insists on us having something, so we each ask for milk.

We move into the living room and have a nice conversation with my mom for a while, and I love how peaceful it is here when it's just us. But soon I check the time and I figure that George, Steve or possibly both will be back soon so Gaea and I should head out soon, but I don't voice my concern. "We should probably get going soon mom," I comment and then stand up. "I'm just going to go to the bathroom and then we can go," I tell Gaea and she nods.

I start climbing the stairs and then I hear the phone ringing but I know mom will get it in the kitchen. I finish up and am just washing my hands when I hear Gaea scream "Mark!" and I race down the stairs to find Gaea lying on the living room couch and my step-brother Steve lying on top of her, and once I reach them to pull Steve off I can see Gaea looking terrified and crying.

(Gaea)

Mark starts up the stairs as the phone rings. Maria apologizes and then walks into the kitchen to answer it, and I stay seated on the couch because I don't want to be rude and snoop. A moment later I hear the front door open and in walks a tall guy with dark hair and a bottle in his hand. He looks a few years older than Mark and smells like pot. I assume he is Steve, but what scares me is how much he reminds me of the guy my dad fired after I found him with Idony. The one who got me in the room where I was raped.

"Sweet, someone left me a gift," he remarks when he notices me, and I see he gets a lust-filled carnal grin on his lips, and I am sickened. He reaches me in about three steps, and before I know it I'm lying on my back lengthwise on the couch and he is looming over me kneeling between my legs and I am petrified and begin to cry.

But I know I can't go through a repeat of my rape, and given the look he's giving and how he's touching me I know I need to do something. "Mark!" I scream as loud as I can, and Steve leans down, puts his hand over my mouth right away and starts pawing at my shirt.

I hear pounding down the stairs and I pray this time I have a rescuer as Mark comes into the room and I lock eyes with him. He stands still just for a moment and then grabs his step-brother by the back of the shirt yanking him off me and I feel like I can breathe again. He throws Steve behind him and Steve hits the wall landing on the floor and looks like he could pass out, but not quite yet. "You do not ever touch my girlfriend. You never lay a hand on her, never look at her, you never even think about her," he says angrily calm holding Steve's chin in his hand with his hand pressed against Steve's chest against the wall. I see the widening of Steve's eyes as he actually comes to the realization of what's going on, and then I see Maria in the doorway.

"Mark, what's going on?" Maria asks with almost a scared look on her face, but she's focussing on Mark.

"This ass attacked Gaea mom, this is what I've been saying. George and Steve are no good, I'm afraid for you mom, and I don't want anything to happen to you, I love you mom," Mark tells Maria as he stands up letting go of Steve who I see has passed out, and Maria looks at me now.

Mark looks back at me now too and I'm still lying on the couch in an almost frozen stance, having not yet moved. He comes over to the couch and kneels beside me. "Gaea, are you alright? Did he hurt you?" he asks softly and looks worried.

"I… I uh, Maria, it was nice to meet you, but I can't be here, please Mark can we go please," I plead.

"Of course, we'll go right now," Mark says. I look at him and he helps me off the couch, and I stand but I'm leaning on him. Steve shocked me, yet he didn't really hurt me, I think he was too high for that, but the feelings both mental and physical from my rape have come back as I feel the pain in my lower stomach and wince. Mark has his arm around my waist but looks down at me holding my stomach, and suddenly I'm swept into his arms, and I feel safe here as we walk toward the door.

"Gaea honey, I'm sorry for what Steve did to you, you don't ever deserve to be hurt or scared by a man. It was wonderful to meet you and I always love seeing you son, but it is probably right for you both to go home now," Maria comments.

"Mom, please do something, I don't want to ever see you hurt by either of them again. Come with us, please mom," Mark begs his mom, and I can see the look in her eyes like she wants to.

"Mark, honey, this is my home, this is where I belong. I'm fine, you both go, get Gaea home and feeling better," Maria tells him. Mark looks at his mom once more, and she leans in and they kiss each other on the cheek. He takes a step away, but Maria grabs my hand that isn't around Mark's neck. "You're safe with him," she tells me with a small smile. I smile in return and then Mark carries me out to his car, setting me in the passenger seat after we get the door open, and then he gets in the driver's seat.

"Do you want to go home, or should I maybe take you to the hospital? You looked like you were in pain," Mark comments starting the car.

"No, there's nothing the hospital can do Mark. I want to go home, well, I mean your home," I tell him and he looks at me. "I can't go to my home right now, and I need to tell you something," I remark wiping away a few tears.

"Are you sure he didn't hurt you?" he asks again now that we're alone.

"Mark, I have been hurt, but it wasn't by Steve," I begin and he looks at me. "I'll explain everything when we get to your apartment and you're not driving," I tell him. He waits a moment and then nods, and we drive in silence, and when we arrive Mark helps me in and we sit in the soft chairs in the living room together, and it's at this moment I'm happy he doesn't own a couch.

"Gaea, what did you mean you were hurt, but it wasn't Steve that hurt you? I promise that if I hurt you in any way I never meant to, and I don't think my mom could hurt anyone," Mark comments and I smile slightly.

"No it wasn't you or your mom Mark, and it wasn't Steve. I have to tell you something, and I've been afraid to tell you all week, because I was afraid of your reaction or that you might leave, but after what happened today you deserve to know the truth no matter how you react," I tell him, and now he looks worried again, but he puts out his hand for me anyway so I put my hand in his.

"Why are you afraid of how I would react or that I might leave?" he asks quietly.

"Because, although we haven't talked about it, I know you've had a difficult past, so I don't know what you might react to, and you wouldn't be the first person to walk away when I've had to tell someone this," I tell him, and I can see he is thinking about what I just said.

"Gaea please just tell me," he says still holding my hand.

I take a deep breath again just like when I told Clare and this really doesn't get any easier. "Mark, when I was 14 I went to a party with a friend of mine and her 17 year old boyfriend. I expected it to be a high school party, but didn't know until I got there it was a college frat party," I start and I look up at Mark's eyes but I can't tell what he's thinking. "Mark I was raped by two guys at that party," I get out and begin to cry again.

I see Mark's whole demeanor change as he gets angry and I see fire in his eyes, and he grips my hand tighter. And then I hang my head ashamed and almost scared of the reaction I'll get. I expected shocked, maybe even resentful in a way, but not this. And now I'm afraid I'll lose Mark, the first guy I've dated since it all happened to me and Idony and begin crying harder.

It's another moment before anything happens as I continue to cry, but then I hear Mark let out a long breath and his grip lessens on my hand. "Gaea," Mark says almost cautiously, and I tip my head up slightly to look at him but I can't meet his eyes, as I'm still scared of his reaction. "I'm sorry for scaring you, and you don't have to be afraid of me walking away," he says and I look up and meet his eyes, and now I recognize the look as sincerity.

Mark leans over and wipes away my tears which have begun to slow, and then he kisses my head. That's one thing about sitting in chairs rather than on a couch is we can't really sit together, but I decide to change that and I hope Mark will be okay with this but I want to be next to him now that I know I'm safe again, so while still holding his hand I stand up and he looks curious but I take two steps and then let go of his left hand and sit in his lap. He looks surprised and yet happy that I want to be closer, and he wraps his arms around me and I lean my head on his shoulder. "If you feel comfortable, will you tell me what happened?" he asks, and I nod still leaning against him feeling comfort in his arms.

"Steve didn't hurt me today, but what he did scared me and brought up the pain and the emotions of that day, and another about a year later," I tell him and I see him nod as I close my eyes. "I went to that party and found out it was at a college frat house, but I had no way of getting home without calling my parents, and they wouldn't have been happy. I hung out with my friend and her boyfriend for a while and we mingled until they decided to go dance and I was alone. I got some punch not knowing it was spiked with something, and I never found out what. I sat on the couch and this older guy started talking to me which was fine, and then I said I wanted something to eat and got up, but I didn't make it to the food as he pulled me into another room with a pool table and leather couch locking the door," I tell Mark as my tears start flowing again.

"You're safe," he whispers and brings his hand up to the side of my head holding me as I curl further into his lap. It takes a moment before I can speak again, but then continue.

"There was a second guy in the room, and he held me down on the couch with my mouth covered while the guy I had been talking to raped me. I couldn't scream but I was able to close my eyes and pretend to be somewhere else, although the excruciating pain made that difficult, as I lost my virginity," I get out and have to take another deep breath and I can feel Mark tense up.

"AAAARRGGGHHH!" Mark screams out, but he was good enough to cover my ear that wasn't leaning against his shoulder. "I would just love to kill them," he growls out now having uncovered my ear, and looks down at my face, or as much as he can at this angle. "I'm sorry Gaea, I'm just so angry anyone could hurt another person like that, but you are safe with me, I will always protect you," he tells me, and I smile slightly.

"Thank you Mark, and I feel protected now," I tell him and he smiles kissing my forehead. "And as much as I hate to go on, I need to tell you what else happened," I get out and he nods stiffly. "When the first guy was done they switched places and did the same thing. When they had both finished inside me," I get out and he growls but doesn't speak, "they left me lying on the leather couch and bleeding. Once I had the strength to move I ran home and hid in my room all weekend," I add.

"And your parents didn't do anything, or get you to a hospital or have them arrested?" Mark questions all at once, and it's a little overwhelming in my mind, but I take one question at a time to answer.

"My dad was busy with his job, and they had three little ones all under 10 years old running around so they didn't really think much of their teenage daughter spending lots of time in her room. No I didn't go to a clinic or hospital. I was embarrassed, ashamed, and didn't think of it. Thankfully I didn't get pregnant. And I only told my friend who I went to the party with and she thought I was just starving for attention and jealous of her older boyfriend so she didn't believe me. They didn't get caught cause I didn't tell," I explain and Mark goes rigid again.

"They are disgusting pigs, and your friend," he says using air quotes, "is just as bad for just thinking you were jealous, that's a terrible friend," he says.

"Yes I knew that right from that moment and never spoke to her again. My first real friend since then has been Clare," I comment, and I see Mark smile.

"I'm glad you guys have become such good friends," he comments.

"Me too," I reply with a smile. "So, I never reported it, and one of the guys had a well off family in our town. A few weeks later he was caught stealing and his family paid off the judge so he could get off," I tell Mark.

"I hate people that think they can get away with anything because they are rich," Mark grumbles and I laugh slightly, and we sit in silence a moment. "Gaea didn't you say something else happened about a year later?" he asks tensing, and I slowly nod.

Even more than what happened to me, is having to explain what happened to Idony. I love my little sister and I'm still sorry that because I didn't report what happened the guy could do something to her I think to myself and begin to tear up again.

This time Mark rubs my back as I begin to speak. "About a year later I was 15 and my sister Idony was 11. I had a boyfriend at the time who was quiet like me, but I hadn't told him about what happened. One day Idony and I decided to go down to the studio where my dad's tv show was filming as we had always enjoyed watching him work, and playing in the studio. At some point we got separated and then I heard noises from inside a room with the door closed and when I opened it I found one of the guys that raped me with Idony. He was working for my dad! I had heard her tears as the guy had her lying on a cement floor with her skirt up and was shoving his fingers inside of her. She was just 11 years old and he was getting off on her pain as she cried," I tell Mark in tears as I grab his shirt with my left hand and fist at it while I cry.

"I can't believe anyone could ever do something like that to girls so young. What you and Idony went through should never have happened," Mark tells me as I continue to cry but I nod once so he knows I heard him.

Once I've stopped crying I take a deep breath and begin to speak again. "Fingers meant no semen this time, which meant no evidence, but what the guy didn't expect was for me to scream. He removed his fingers but my dad came running and saw me crying, and this disgusting guy, who scarily looked a lot like Steve, and of course how scared and upset Idony was, and fired the guy on the spot. My dad drove us both to the clinic this time, and because Idony was so upset I not only had to explain what happened to her but also what happened to me because of this guy, because he was the one who had pulled me into that room with the leather couch. My dad was in shock, and when we left the clinic he took us to the police station to report it. Idony could have this guy charged, but the statute of limitations was up for my rapes. But out of telling everyone my mom was the hardest. She was devastated and it was like she couldn't look at either of us quite the same after that. She became extremely over-protective which was fine for a short time but then felt over-bearing as I got older," I explain to Mark.

I calm down some more as Mark continues to hold me. "You know how I was afraid to tell you all this, and I said it was not only because of your reaction, which has been wonderful, but also because I was afraid you'd leave?" I question Mark and I feel him nod, and then I sit up. "Well when that boyfriend I mentioned I had through sophomore year found out not long after about what happened to me he walked away. He was my only boyfriend before or since what happened until you, and I had been devastated when he did it. I was crushed because not only had I lost my virginity, but my innocent little sister, my innocence and then my boyfriend. Plus my relationships with both of my parents had been hurt. My parents still love me and I love them, but the relationships were certainly strained after that. And I realized I could never be the person I had been before," I tell Mark softly.

"Gaea, I am glad for who you have become, because you are the girl I care for and will protect, but I am sorry for what you've been through, and I cannot ever imagine the pain that must have caused you. And as much as this may sound cliché, it's because of what you went through that you have become who you are today," he tells me and then leans over and kisses my lips this time. My stomach growls while we're kissing and we both pull away and laugh and I feel better having told Mark. "Would you like something to eat?" he asks and I nod. Mark smiles and then he stands lifting me with him and then sets me back in the chair.

"Mark?" I question as he walks toward the kitchen.

"I'll make us dinner, you relax in the chair," he tells me and I smile. When he finishes making dinner we eat together at the table and it's peaceful and comforting.

"Mark, will you tell me about your past?" I ask when we finish and are sitting together in the chair again.

I feel him tense slightly for a moment, and then he agrees. "I'll tell you but it's getting late. Should I be getting you home, or would you rather call and then stay here again?" he asks cautiously and I squeeze my hand into a fist in nervousness.