So this is going up a few hours early, but I'm sure that's probably a good thing. And please go check out the DegrassiSaviors site. Plus if anyone is interested I now have tumblr too so go check it out. It's the same username as I use here on .
Ch. 19 Happiness and Worry
(Owen)
I hear the radio turn on and the music begin. I wish I didn't have to get up and I'm extremely comfortable right now laying on my side in bed cuddling with Clare in my arms, but I've made sure my arms remain around her waist and don't move up as her breasts were still tender last night. She slept in the red lace and silk teddy I love, because she said it's the only pyjamas I could wear that didn't bother her too badly. Clare yawns and stretches out a little and I tighten my arms just slightly. "Don't get up. Stay in my arms all day beautiful," I whines and begin kissing her neck.
I can feel Clare begin to melt into my kisses and enjoy this feeling immensly. "Owen, I would like to stay here with you, but I have to get up and go to school. It's less than two months before I graduate. I really would like to graduate," she comments turning her head slightly and catches my lips with hers moving her hand to the back of my neck playing with the short hairs on the back of my head.
"Mmm, yes you deserve to graduate, you are so smart, ok go on," I comment once we pull apart for air and I lets go of her, but my arm brushes across the silk against her nipple and she winces sucking in a deep breath.
"You're still sore?" I ask putting my hands up right away so I'm not near her.
"Yes, although I only notice it most when something brushes against them. Having not had this symptom before I'm not sure how long it lasts," she tells me. As much as I wanted to experiment more last night I didn't push, we just cuddled and fell asleep like that.
Clare gets up grabbing some clothes from the dresser. I get up getting dressed also and we have breakfast together before I drive to the school. Today is the first day we are wearing our rings publically, and I decide to go in with Clare when we arrive to tell Mr. Simpson. But as soon as we are out of my SUV I lean down and kiss Clare only putting my hand at her neck and give her a loving kiss. I lick over her bottom lip and her lips part for mine and my tongue goes right in and begins stroking hers. We have to pull away for air, but she is gazing into my eyes.
"It feels different in a way to be able to do this without worrying if people see us," she comments and I nod, and then take her hand interlacing out fingers and we walk inside, although I do notice a few students gaping at us slightly as we walk by.
We arrive at the office going in and tell Mr. Simpson about Clare's name change, so I changes it in the computer straight away congratulating us again and then gives Clare a note for her teachers to change their class list until the new official lists can be sent out. We leave his office, and I go with Clare to her locker running into Gaea while there.
"Hey sunshine, Mark told us you talked to him, I'm very proud of you," Clare tells Gaea letting go of my hand and the girls hug.
"Yes, it was difficult, but Mark was so supportive," Gaea replies and I still feel out of the loop, but Clare and Gaea must both be reading my mind. "I'm sure you're curious Owen. Mark has today off if you guys would both like to come at lunch and I can tell you this story," she offers, and I agree. So Gaea texts Mark and he replies a few minutes later that he'll be here. I smile and the bell is about to ring so I kiss my wife once more and then head outside to drive home for a few hours until lunch.
(Clare)
It's lunch time on Wednesday. Mark and Owen came for lunch on Monday and Gaea told Owen her story, and he was livid, and promised she was under his protection as much as Maya, Tris, Bianca or I now. It was good to be so close as friends. Dave was pretty shocked when he saw the ring and I told him about what happened. But he and I haven't been too close anyway so he was nonchalantly happy for me. My teachers were surprised the first day and have been struggling remembering my name change, but it's getting better. Miss Dawes was certainly shocked but happy for me.
Miss Dawes decides that today's assignment this morning would be to write a poem using the emotions of something we have been through, and I bite my lip as I look at over at Adam and then look back at Gaea slightly and I notice her nervously making a fist and I know what she's picturing.
I think I heard a few sniffles and some crying through class as people wrote their poems, while I decided I wouldn't write on a difficult time but my happiness of marrying Owen. Miss Dawes said at the end of class, that she wouldn't collect our poems, or have us read them. In fact, we could do what we wanted with them, but tomorrow we would discuss the emotions we felt while writing today, and how emotion can be very important for writing.
During morning break I went to the girls bathroom and removed my bra for a few minutes in a stall because my breasts hurt even more and I realize I have to find out if something's wrong or if there's anything I can do to stop the pain. I put my clothes back on and got through World History class, and now I'm walking the few blocks to the emergency clinic.
I get inside and approach the window grabbing a form to fill out, doing that quickly before handing it back and about five minutes later I'm taken back to a small exam room. The nurse takes my blood pressure, and then it's a few more minutes until a doctor comes back.
"Hello, I'm Dr. Garrison, so I understand you're feeling breast tenderness?" she asks after closing the door.
"Yes," I comment.
"How long have you been feeling this?" she asks.
"I guess it started about Sunday morning," I answer honestly as I hope to find out what's going on.
"Have you been sexually active?" she asks and I can feel myself blush a little.
I think about the showers and touching Owen and I have done but I know we haven't gotten to sex yet. I'm just about to answer no and then a thought occurs to me. The night Owen and I got married we did sleep together. I could feel the soreness of it the next morning and much of the day as we walked around Las Vegas. "Once, I have had sex once," I tell Dr. Garrison.
"Did you use protection?" she asks.
"I've been on birth control a number of years, but was only just put on a new type recently. I don't think anything was used," I admit thinking back to that morning. Owen didn't know we had sex, and I only knew because of the pain.
"You should have been told when you were prescribed the new birth control that you need to wait or use some other forms of protection before it fully takes effect," Dr. Garrison tells me.
"Thank you doctor," I comment not sure I want to tell this clinic doctor about drunkenly getting married and losing my virginity.
"Given that you have had sex and don't think protection that was in effect was used and the reason for your visit was breast tenderness I'd like to do a blood and urine sample to check for pregnancy Clare," she tells me and my eyes go wide.
"I thought the tenderness may have just been a new symptom of PMS," I tell her as she gets out the cup and a needle.
"That could be possible, but it is not very likely," the doctor comments swabbing my arm with the cotton ball and then drawing blood. Thankfully it's over quick and she puts on the band-aid and then hands me the cup and points out the bathroom.
I check my watch every few minutes knowing I need to get back to school soon. It takes about 10 minutes sitting in the waiting room before I am called in for the results, and Dr. Garrison comes in again.
"Clare, I'm happy to tell you that you're pregnant," she announces and my jaw drops. No, how can this be happening? I had sex once and don't even remember it, and haven't had the courage to do it again sober. What about Owen? He became an unexpected husband, how can I make him an unexpected father too? And we promised his mom she wouldn't become a grandma, and school? I want to go to school…
"Clare?" the Dr. asks, knocking me out of my ranting. "Is everything alright?"
"Sorry, yes, this was just the last thing I expected, and I'm not sure how to tell anyone," I tell her and begin to cry.
"I'll let you process this and then we can talk about options. Is there anyone you'd like me to call?" she asks.
"Abortion isn't an option, and yes could you call my sister Emma please?" I request and give her the phone number.
"Of course Clare," she tells me before leaving the room and I let out a deep breath I didn't realize I was holding in. I don't know how long I sit thinking about this situation but I'm knocked out of my thoughts when Emma and the doctor walk back in.
"Clare," Emma says walking up to me and giving me a big hug.
"I'm pregnant Emma, you warned me to watch for signs, and I just didn't think it was possible," I tell her and begin to cry.
"Clare it's alright, what made you come in?" she asks.
"My breasts have been sore since Sunday morning, and I thought maybe it was a symptom of PMS, but I wanted to find out why it was happening so I decided to come in," I tell her and then gasp. "Maybe this is why I was sick on Saturday," I comment. "Although I haven't been sick like that since."
"Don't worry it'll come back, believe me," Emma comments and rubs her stomach. "I'm glad you were smart enough to come in, but you could have called me, I would have come with you," she remarks.
"I know but I know you have work and that's important. I'm sorry for pulling you away from there," I mention.
"It's alright, I just told my boss I had a family emergency," she tells me and we hug again.
"Alright Clare," the doctor comments, "do you need the name of some good OB/GYN's?" and I think for a moment and I'm about to say yes but Emma speaks up.
"I can take you to mine Clare," she comments, and I smile and nod.
"Thanks Em," I comment.
"Alright, that's fine, but it's important to make an appointment very soon Clare," Dr. Garrison tells me, and I nod. "Have a good day girls," she says and then leaves. I get up grabbing my stuff and then we head out to Emma's car.
"Do you need a ride?" Emma asks and I check my watch.
"Yes please, classes start again in about 10 minutes," I comment and then think of something. "Em, I need to figure out how to tell Owen about this in my own way, so please don't say anything to anyone," I insist.
"Of course not Clare, this is between the two of you. I'll send you the number of my OB/GYN so you can make an appointment," she says getting in and driving me back to school. I thank her and give her a hug and then head inside just as the bell rings.
(Bianca)
I get inside the Dot and sit on a stool at the counter.
"Hey B what can I get you?" Fitz asks with a kind smile.
"A chocolate shake and a muffin please," I answer and place money on the counter. "How's work going?" I ask looking around.
"Alright at the moment, but it will get busy as soon as school lets out. The Ice Hounds have a game tonight so the team will come here for food and then head back to the school to catch the bus," he replies giving me my drink and muffin, and I realize today was probably not the best day to plan on meeting Adam here after school to hang out.
"Well hopefully it'll be a nice afternoon for you and not get crazy busy. Any plans for the weekend?" I ask, and it's nice to be talking with Fitz again. I really have missed having him in my life.
"Gaea and I are going on a double date tomorrow night with Clare and Owen and then I have church Sunday morning but not much beyond that," he tells me. "You?"
"I have plans with Clare in the morning but otherwise nothing really," I reply as Adam walks in closely followed by a whole bunch of hockey players, some I recognize from when Owen and Dallas were on the team last year.
"Hi Bianca, hey Fitz," Adam greets as he approaches the counter and I see him with money in his hand.
"Hey Adam," I greet with a smile.
"Hi Adam, what can I get you?" Fitz asks as Adam sits beside me on a stool.
"Lemonade and a chicken sandwich please," Adam asks for and Fitz nods as Adam pays him.
"How was school?" I ask while we stay at the counter as Adam waits for his food. And then Fitz serves Adam his drink.
"Boring, except for my radio broadcasting class, but that's my favourite class anyway," he answers. "I did notice Clare run off to the bathroom this morning though. Maybe she's getting sick again," he comments, and now I'm slightly worried.
"She's sick again?" Fitz questions coming back from serving another table.
"I'm not sure, I just know she was looking slightly green and ran off to the bathroom this morning, and then came back not as green but a little pale and looking tired. Although she seemed to be feeling better in the afternoon," he comments and Fitz and I look at each other, and I can tell we're both thinking about what could be wrong with Clare. After a moment Fitz goes back to work and serves Adam his sandwich so we smile at Fitz and then head over to sit at an open booth although we're still near the counter.
Adam and I begin to eat our food and then he starts speaking again. "So what do you like to do for fun?" he asks and I must get a look on my face because he adds, "I mean like hobbies or sports."
I laugh a moment and then think about it a moment. "I enjoy photography actually. And besides when I used to watch Owen, or Drew playing sports, or even Fitz sometimes when he's play road hockey with Owen I'm not really big into sports actually," I tell him, "Although I do like dancing, and was on a dance team when I was young, but Degrassi didn't have a dance team, and I stopped dancing not long after I started attending Degrassi," I add. "How about you? I mean I know you like being the Degrassi radio DJ, but what else do you enjoy doing?" I question.
"I enjoy playing my bass guitar when I can, along with playing tennis when I can. Although that's just for fun when I have the chance," he comments.
"Hmm, that's cool, I never really learned to play tennis, except for that one week in gym class, but I didn't pay much attention," I remark with a laugh thinking back on my early high school life.
"I could teach you if you'd like," he comments, and I feel myself smiling and nod slightly.
"I'd like that, thank you Adam. Are you doing anything tomorrow afternoon?" I ask.
"No I'm not busy tomorrow," he comments and we decide to meet tomorrow for a lesson, and then I realize this sounds like a date.
"Adam, I know I asked you, but I'm not ready for anything right now so this is just friends hanging out. I hope that's ok with you," I tell him and he nods in understanding but doesn't say anything as he starts staring toward the door and I have to turn around following his gaze to see what or whom he is starting at.
I don't see anything for a moment, and then in walks Eli, but he isn't looking at us he's looking at Fitz. "Uh oh, Eli never did forgive Fitz for everything he did. I don't think this is going to go well," Adam comments having come out of his frozen stance.
I see Fitz's face as Eli walks up to the counter, and he looks like he's struggling with the past, while still doing his job professionally.
"Eli," Fitz gets out in the nicest way possible with a fake smile and clenched teeth. He is usually really nice to everyone given his attitude change over the years, especially in the last few weeks, but Eli will always be a sore spot for Fitz. "How can I help you?" he asks and I can tell he's trying not to grumble much.
"Fitz, still a high school dropout waiter I see while the rest of us get degrees and real careers. Still no girlfriend I bet, but you better be staying away from my Clare. I'll take a black coffee and a scone to go," Eli answers rudely and I can see his signature smirk as Fitz gets more annoyed with every word Eli says but takes the money ringing up the order.
I can see Fitz working on getting Eli's order ready quickly to hopefully get him to leave, but as soon as Fitz hands him his drink and bag he sits on a stool right at the counter, and starts taunting him again. Eli never did know when to leave well enough alone. Adam and I can both tell Fitz is getting madder, and given his past I don't want this to escalate so I stand up but Adam beats me to it, walking up to the counter beside Eli and putting his hand on Eli's shoulder.
"Eli, how are you? What are you doing home? I thought you were staying in New York for the summer," Adam comments and I look at Fitz with compassion because I know this is hard for him. And then mouth 'break' suggesting he take his break to avoid Eli and calm down some. He nods and then tells the guy he's working with that he's going on break and is able to slip out while Adam has Eli occupied.
"Hey Adam, good to see you. I decided to come home for the summer after all. To see my folks, and you and of course Clare," he comments and seems far to determined about this last part. "How's senior year going?"
"It's fine, glad it'll be done soon. Still doing the school radio DJing. You didn't mention when we talked last about you coming back," Adam mentions and I'm curious how often they still talk.
"That's good, I'm sure you'll be happy to be done, but I'm glad you're still the school DJ. No this was a last minute decision," he replies and then notices me standing on the other side of Adam now. "Hi Bianca, nice to see you but do you mind I'm talking to my best friend," he comments quite rudely and I'd like nothing more than to hit him right now.
"Actually Eli, Bianca and I were hanging out when we saw you arrive, so it's ok, I just came over to say hi," Adam comments and I'm a little surprised at how well he's been able to stay calm, but I guess being one of Eli's best friends for two years when we went to school together and dealing with Drew and the bullying he's learned how to hold his temper pretty well.
"You're hanging out with Bianca now Adam? I thought she was all about Drew. She doesn't seem like your type, and besides she's the one that had Owen and Fitz throw you through the door," he comments and I feel bad for that but I know I have apologized for that.
Adam takes a breath before speaking and I now see this conversation is becoming more difficult for him. "Bianca and I are friends Eli, and we're just hanging out. A lot has happened in the last few months and right now Drew and Bianca aren't together. And Fitz apologized years ago for everything he did and I forgave him, and Bianca and Owen apologized earlier this year and all's forgiven and forgotten, so it's ok," he says. "They spent a lot of time at my house with Drew so everything's good," he tells Eli and I smile.
"Yes, Adam has always been a good guy. I did something stupid when I first found out about him, and I've regretted that ever since, but Adam was kind enough to show me forgiveness, and it's meant a lot. Besides Clare is friends with both Adam and I, so it's good to be friends not only for her but for ourselves and each other too," I comment and then see Fitz come out of the employee lounge. "Didn't you say you made a last minute decision to come home, so maybe you should go see your parents," I comment hoping to get him to leave.
"Yes I would like to see them, and then I'll go visit Clare. I'm sure she'll be happy to see me," he remarks cheerily as if he's forgotten that nothing bad ever happened and they didn't break up three times. And then he stands up, fist bumps Adam with a big grin and leaves. Fitz comes out of the hallway once he's gone and we all huff a sigh of relief.
"What in the world was that?" I comment out loud to no one in particular.
"I'm not really sure, but I'm almost afraid to find out. He plans on visiting Clare and expecting her to be happy to see him, but technically he doesn't even know she no longer lives at home or is married," Adam points out.
"I don't plan on telling him. I'd just as soon not have any more contact with him if possible," I remark, "although if he does find Clare I'll have no problems in telling him to back off, just hope he doesn't go crazy again," I add, and both guys nod their heads as we all turn to look at each other having been watching the door since Eli left.
"Thanks for getting me away from him B, I didn't like the anger I was feeling with what he was saying," Fitz comments and I smile.
"No problem," I reply.
"I think I'm gonna head home now Bianca. You still want that tennis lesson tomorrow?" Adam asks.
"Sure sounds good, school court?" I question and he nods. "See you there say 3 o'clock?" and he smiles nodding. We say goodbye and then he says bye to Fitz before leaving.
"You're hanging out with Adam now? Not that I don't think Drew was stupid for what we did, but what's going on B?" Fitz asks once Adam is gone and I grab my drink and sit at the counter as Fitz gets back to work.
"We're trying to become friends. Not just focus on our connections with Drew and Clare, but actual friends who hang out. He said he enjoys tennis, and when I said I had never played besides in gym he offered to teach me tomorrow," I comment.
"Ok, I'm just looking out for you both, I don't want you getting hurt again. Especially if Drew finds out you're hanging out with his brother," Fitz reminds me and I cross my arms.
"Thanks for always being so protective, I've missed it, but I'll be careful," I tell him. I want to show my thanks to him, but we are just becoming friends again, but I give in and give him a quick hug and see the shock on his face when I pull away. I wave bye and then head home.
(Clare)
Owen and I are sitting on the couch cuddling and watching a movie when my cell phone rings so I reach across Owen to the side table to grab it but Owen begins to tickle me. "Owen stop … I have to get … the phone," I get out through fits of giggles. Most of my anxiety about being pregnant and making Owen a father had gone away as I enjoyed spending time with my husband, but I still hadn't found a way to tell him yet.
I see it's Adam calling as Owen finally stops when I show him its Adam and then get back in my spot hitting accept and answering as my breathing calms down. "Hey Adam," I get out, as my breathing slows.
"Hey Clare you ok?" Adam asks. He must hear it in the way I'm talking.
"Yes Adam I'm fine, what's up?" I ask as it's getting late on a Friday night.
"I just wanted to let you know that Eli came into the Dot this afternoon while I was there," he tells me and I felt my eyes widen as I bit my lip. "He was pestering Fitz some, but I wanted to warn you and Owen," he says before I cut him off.
"Warn us? Warn us about what? Why is he even home?" I get out with worry in my voice, and I feel Owen tensing beside me, and he doesn't even know who we're talking about yet.
"He said it was a last minute decision, but he came home to see his parents, but he's determined to see you Clare. It was like he remembered nothing of your past together and that you guys had such problems, and was sure you'd be happy to see him. None of us mentioned you being married to Owen, or that you no longer live at home, or where you live now, but it sounds like he is going to be here at least through the summer, so I wanted you to know before you all of a sudden ran into him somewhere and he goes nuts again seeing you with Owen or with your ring," Adam tells me and I beyond shocked, I'm almost fearful. Eli, Adam and I were all best friends at one time, and I gave Eli a number of chances and forgave him many times, but this doesn't sound like the Eli I know, and now that I'm pregnant I'm scared.
"Thanks Adam, and thank you for not telling him anything," I comment.
"No problem Clare," he says before hanging up and I set down my phone beside me before instinctually my hand rubs my belly softly, and then I realize a moment later what I'm doing and remove it and take Owens hand that's around my shoulders.
"Clare what's wrong, why was Adam calling to warn you about someone? Who came home?" Owen asks as I snuggle into him again feeling comfort in his arms.
I take a deep breath because I'm not quite sure how Owen might react to this news, but then I tell him, "Adam said that while he was at the Dot after school Eli came in," I begin and I feel Owen's arm get tighter, and I haven't even told him everything yet. "He said Eli was pestering Fitz, and then he was talking to Eli for a short while. Eli said his coming home was a last minute decision, and he came home to see his parents, Adam but most especially me," I get out and I feel Owen get extremely tense.
"He shouldn't be getting anywhere near you. You're broken up, what could he possibly want?" Owen says through clenched teeth.
I take Owen's other hand and gently rub it with my thumb to calm him down slightly. "Adam said it was like Eli didn't remember anything from his past with me, and was sure I'd be very happy to see him. He also said that none of them said anything about you and I being married or me no longer living at home, but he wanted to warn me that Eli was home so it wasn't a surprise if I saw him somewhere, and to be aware of Eli's thoughts regarding me, although since his bipolar diagnosis no one can really ever know what he's thinking or feeling," I comment.
"I'm glad Adam called, and now I'm gonna be super protective. Eli has done some crazy stuff in the past to try to get you to see him and/or forgive him, and I don't ever want you getting hurt, especially by him. I don't want you out by yourself, what were your plans tomorrow?" Owen asks, and I roll my eyes slightly but I know he's being protective just like he proclaimed he would. He doesn't want me getting hurt.
"Tomorrow morning Bianca and I had plans to go out together and then tomorrow evening we're going on a double date with Gaea and Mark. I don't really have plans for the afternoon while you're at your first pee wee hockey team practice as the assistant coach," I comment, and smile thinking about our double date, and that Owen now has two jobs to provide an income for our family until I'm out of school. Especially with the new unexpected member joining our family.
"Maybe you should hang out with someone in the afternoon tomorrow. I don't really want to leave you here alone for the afternoon," Owen comments.
"Owen," I sigh slightly, "Adam said Eli doesn't know about us, so he wouldn't know about our apartment or be able to find me. And the only people that know where we live are our close friends and your family because they helped us move in," I try convincing Owen I'll be okay on my own, but it doesn't seem to have worked.
"But what about the people in the apartment? I mean we don't know who all lives here or lives in the area and may have seen us moving in. Someone may tell Eli without even realizing it. I mean I know you said Adam and Fitz were at the Dot, but was anyone else? I just don't want to take that chance Clare. I'd rather you spent the afternoon with one of our close friends, or your brothers, or even at the hockey practice watching me coach," he tells me in a rush of words, and I sigh, just thinking about everything and slightly worried about Eli, because we didn't end on the best of terms, and the way Adam spoke, Eli is like a totally different person talking about me like our bad past never existed. I don't want to believe Eli would intentionally hurt me, but I nod against Owen and snuggle up to him as my mind races.