I hope everyone had a good Halloween. And I'm sorry for the delay of this chapter.
But at this point I need to tell you that this will be the last chapter of this story at this point, because the story is being put on hold until I can figure out where I want to go with it. I'm sorry for this because I know some of you really enjoy this story, but I'm struggling with writing anymore. I do hope that someday I will get back to writing this story. All the best guys.
Ch 20. Flowers Tell Secrets
(Gaea)
I lean over and give Mark a kiss on the cheek after climbing into his car when he picked me up. And I see him smile as he starts driving. "So where are we going tonight?" I ask as he's been refusing to tell me the past few days.
"I'm not telling you, Owen and I are surprising you and Clare remember," he comments and looks over at me for a moment and I know he sees the scowl on my face and his smile just gets bigger. I'm not good with surprises, I like finding out even when it's something good, although when someone can keep the surprise hidden and is able to surprise me with something special I am usually pretty happy. Mark reaches out and takes my hand with his, and we spend the rest of the drive in silence.
A short while later we pull into a parking lot and I see Clare and Owen standing by Owen's SUV in the dark parking lot as the moon is just a sliver tonight. He's got his arms around her as she leans on him and he leans on his SUV. Mark and I get out and I walk toward them. "Hey Clare, Owen, how are you guys?" I ask and then realize Mark isn't next to me. I look back and see him closing the back door of his car.
"We're alright, had a good day. How are you doing?" Clare asks and Owen smiles in greeting.
"I've been alright. I was spending the day with Idony today," I comment as Mark walks up and wraps his arm around my waist and I can't help but smile.
"Is everything ok?" Owen questions. He really has become a good friend and quite protective.
"It was nice spending time together, and everything is alright. It's just now that Mark and I are together and he's around more often it's hard on Idony. She was so young when she was hurt, that guys in general scare her," I explain and feel Mark's arm tighten slightly.
"Maybe if she spends time in a group with Mark, other girls and maybe another guy or two she might become more comfortable when she realizes not all guys are scary, or will do stuff like that," Clare suggests and I can't help but smile and look at Mark who seems happy.
"I'd be happy to help if you think it might work," he says.
"Thanks Clare that's really sweet, and it'll have to go slow I think, but ya I think that could work," I comment.
"We should probably head inside now," Owen says after a moment and the rest of us agree so we all walk in, Owen's arm around Clare's shoulders and Mark's around my waist still. When we get inside I'm not quite sure where we are but I don't say anything because I know it's a surprise. We walk down a long hallway and then Owen opens the door for us all and we go into a large dark room. Mark guides me to one side of the room and Owen guides Clare to the other and then I realize they've both brought blankets and spread them out beside each other. I see Owen sit down on theirs and Clare sits next to him and cuddles up but Mark leaves the room suddenly and although I know I can trust Clare and Owen I don't like being in here in the dark.
"Mark?" I call out quietly hoping he'll be back soon.
"It's ok Gaea, he just went to get everything started, he'll be right back," Owen explains and I nod and then realize it's too dark in here for him to see me.
"Thanks Owen, I'm just not fond of the dark," I add and then the room suddenly gets brighter but it's not from the lights, or at least not normal lights anyway I realize as I look up.
"Well, it's not so dark now," Clare comments with a laugh and I look at her face when she speaks and see her looking up and I do again too and realize I'm looking at the night sky. I hear the door and then there are arms around my waist again.
"Come on gorgeous let's sit back and I hope both you girls enjoy," he says and then sits down and I sit next to him before we both lay down, his arm out so I can lay back and his arm is around my shoulders.
"This is stunning," I comment when I've laid back and am looking up at the night sky as I've now realized we are in the planetarium. "Although I wasn't very fond of being in here in the dark," I tell him quietly and I can feel his arm tighten slightly.
"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking, I guess I figured with Clare and Owen here it would be fine," he tells me as we continue watching the night sky and constellations move. It really is a beautiful show. I hope we can do this outside sometime later this year too.
"Yes having them here helped but I still could barely see them because it was so dark and I didn't know where you went," I explain. "I'm sorry I have so many fears, I've tried to work on them, but there's some things that I still just find hard to deal with."
"It's okay Gaea, what you've been through makes you who you are, the girl I'm crazy about. If you want to try and work on some of what you still need to deal with I'll help you in any way I can. I'll be with you every step of the way," Mark tells me.
I smile and kiss him softly, "I know Mark thank you. I don't know what I'd do without you and for the record I'm crazy about you too."
"You guys are so sweet," I hear Clare say while we are still kissing, and I pull away and smile at my friend. I look up at the ceiling before turning back to my boyfriend and begin to kiss him again. We continue to kiss for a while. I turn into him and he puts his other arm around me and I put my hands around his waist plus I hear what I think is Clare and Owen kissing as well. Finally I pull away for air, and then just lay back enjoying the feel of Mark's arms around me as we continue to watch the constellations and then the room gets super dark again.
We pull away and I look around seeing the stars are gone. "The program for the constellations must have turned off, it only goes for 2 hours at a time," Mark comments letting go of me. He stands and then helps me up and then picks up the blanket.
"I can't believe it's been two hours, but that was wonderful, thank you so much baby bear," I comment and then realize what I said when Mark gives me a slightly odd look.
"Baby bear?" he questions.
"I just thought of it, but the bear constellation made me think of you. Baby bears are adorable just like you. You give wonderful bear hugs and I feel safe in your arms, and although it can be scary it can also be sweet and so can you. And I don't mean you scare me, but your temper can get scary sometimes like when you pulled Steve off me," I comment. He appears to think for a moment and hugs me tight.
"Alright, you're right it is cute, but can we keep this just between us?" he comments and I nod and then Owen laughs and I see Mark glare at him.
"It must be love if you're letting her call you baby bear," Owen comments with a laugh and I see his arm around Clare, and then I notice Mark's face change from a glare to a smile, and I can't help but smile too. No one says anything else as we pick up the blankets and head out and Owen locks the door. I'm curious how the guys were able to set this up but I don't ask.
"I had a wonderful time," Clare comments as we get outside.
"I did too. Thank you so much guys, the stars have always been something I loved. It was something I could focus on when I was scared or having trouble dealing with stuff," I tell them. "I don't even remember mentioning that."
"I don't think you did actually, we just thought this would be special, but I'm glad it worked out in such a great way," Mark tells us and I hug him.
I smile, and then we say goodnight to Clare and Owen before Mark drives me home. When we arrive he walks me to my door and we kiss until my mom opens the door. "Alright it's time for you to go Fitz. Gaea head up to get ready for bed," mom commands and this is when her overbearing attitude bothers me the most.
"Goodnight Mrs. Kessler, goodnight gorgeous," Mark comments kissing my cheek and then starts walking down the steps.
"Goodnight baby bear," I comment as he steps away and then looks back and I see a big smile, and I know this was the perfect name for him. Once he's down the walk I head inside and get ready for bed. Once I'm comfortable in bed I close my eyes and picture Mark in my head and smile.
I don't normally remember my dreams but tonight I do as I find myself laying on a blanket on what feels like a beach with the sand all around me, and I can see the stars above in the dark night sky. It's then I feel that I'm not alone but I have Mark's arms wrapped around my waist as we lay on the blanket together and I can feel a second blanket laid over us and realize neither of us are wearing anything, and I know we just finished making love and it was tender and loving, and I revel being in Mark's arms as he gently kisses my jaw and my eyes close just feeling him, putting my hands over his.
(Owen)
Today is mother's day, so after going to church with Clare this morning we plan to go out to dinner with my mom and family tonight. Clare's been pretty quiet this morning, and I'm not quite sure why. I tried to ask what was wrong but she just told me it was nothing. I drove us to church as I had decided to continue going with Clare and when we got inside we sat with Fitz again.
"Morning Mark," Clare comments quietly sitting next to him. And he greets her with a smile and hug. I am glad they have gotten closer, and he and I are becoming friends again. We got here a bit early so after sitting for a few minutes Clare excuses herself to the washroom so I move closer to Fitz.
"Is she alright? She seemed really out of it," Fitz comments.
"She said she was fine this morning, but she's been really quiet recently and especially this morning. Even last night she was kind of quiet at the planetarium, and yet she definitely seemed to enjoy being cuddled into me and kissing me," I comment.
"Could she still be worried about Eli being back?" Fitz asks, and I know I begin to growl.
I think for a moment and decide this is probably the reason. "I don't see what else it could be. I wish I knew what he wanted and why he was back besides wanting Clare again," I reply.
"Ya, he was almost scarily calm when he came into the Dot on Friday. Remember I'm always here for you and Clare, especially if Eli's up to something. I know I wasn't always a great guy, especially to Clare, but I will always protect her. Maybe you should tell her brothers about Eli being back too," Fitz tells me and I smile, and realize he's right.
"Thanks man," I comment and Fitz and I shake hands as Clare comes back and I move back to my spot so she's sitting between us again.
"It's nice that you guys have become good friends again, and this time are good and not bullies," Clare comments.
"Ya I prefer this side of us too. We both became good, got a bunch of friends back and each have some pretty amazing girls now," I smile as the band begins playing.
The first song I see on the screen is Mercy Reigns. After the first song when Pastor James usually does announcements he gives a few and then a video plays about mother's day. It's very cute and makes me think of my own mom, and then I hear Clare begin to cry and realize she must be thinking of her mom and I put my arm around her shoulders and she leans into me and I kiss the top of her head.
After the video finishes, Pastor James announces that some of the youth have flowers to pass out to the mothers and expectant mothers in church and asks all women who have children or are expecting children to raise their hands and they'll get a flower. I smile because this is a very sweet gesture in recognizing the women who have or are giving life. But then my eyes go wide and my jaw drops when Clare pulls away from me slightly and raises her arm, and I see Fitz notice this too.
"Clare?" we both question at once in shock as a young boy hands Clare a really pretty red rose. And I see Fitz's eyes are quite wide too.
"Clare?" I ask again, and whispering this time. "Why didn't you tell me? When did you find out?" I question as the band begins to play again but the three of us, or in this situation I suppose four of us, stay seated this time. I am 19 and got married unexpectedly, and now my 18 year old wife of 3 weeks is pregnant.
"I got sick last weekend and have felt kind of sick off and on all week, and you know how sore my breasts have been and I thought it was PMS but my period didn't come this week either," she starts and we hear a noise from Fitz. "Sorry Mark, probably not what you wanted to hear," she adds looking up at him.
"It's okay Clare, I lived with just my mom for a while, so it doesn't bother me much anymore. And now I have a girlfriend too, although we haven't been together for any of this yet," he comments.
"Well by Wednesday I realized I had to find out what was going on, so I went to the walk-in clinic at lunch and found out I was pregnant," she tells us.
"Wednesday? By why didn't you tell me?" I question.
"I didn't know how to tell you Owen. You became a 19 year old husband unexpectedly, and although I couldn't have an abortion I didn't know how to say you'd become a father too. And besides, when the doctor asked if I had ever been sexually active I almost said no and then remembered our wedding night. I've had sex once and don't even know what it feels like and now I'm pregnant," she tells us, and I can see and hear her anxiety and wrap my arms around her again and I can see Fitz's face as she tells us both all this.
"This isn't just about me Clare, how do you feel about becoming a mom?" I ask low. And I see Fitz rub her back slightly.
"Like being a wife it was something I wanted for my future, although it's coming much sooner than I expected. I'm kind of scared right now, but it'll just take some getting used to I guess," she says and then she leans into me as if needing to be in my arms.
After holding her for a moment something occurs to me. "Does anyone else know?" I ask and she lifts her head off my chest.
"I had the clinic call Emma because I didn't know who else to call as you were busy on Wednesday and I needed my sister to talk to," she tells me and I can understand that. "But I made her promise not to say anything until I found a way to tell you," she explains and I nod.
After this confession I just hold Clare throughout the service. We remain seated and I see Fitz take Clare's hand, and we all just listen to today's sermon which due to the day is about biblical mothers, but will go back to the sermon series next week. Fitz stands for the last song but I continue to hold Clare and then when the service is over we all head outside.
"Fitz, Clare, Owen, I hope everything is alright. I noticed you all remained seated during the service. If there's anything I can pray for please let me know," Pastor James tells us when we get our turn to greet him.
Clare looks up at me for a moment and our eyes lock, and as if in agreement Clare turns back to Pastor James. "Actually could we talk to you in private?" Clare asks and Pastor James just smiles and nods.
"Of course, you can all head back to my office if you'd like and I'll right in, just have a few more people to greet," he comments and points to the door with his name plate.
I take Clare's hand and we follow Fitz back to the office and he closes the door behind us. I sit in one chair and Clare sits in my lap while Fitz remains standing.
"I don't have to stay if you'd rather this be a private matter," he comments.
"No Mark, I'd like you to stay please," Clare replies looking up at him but cuddles into me a little further and I wrap my arms around her. It must have been hard for her to keep this knowledge and try to find a way to tell me. And I'm glad Fitz is here too, we've only just regained our friendship, and yet I've known him since we were quite young, and he was always one of my closest friends. With Clare's request Fitz sits down in the chair next to me while we wait for Pastor James.
It was about 5 minutes before the Pastor came in and closed the door again before sitting at his desk. I see his eyes open slightly seeing our positions, although not too different, but I'm thinking he's not used to having people in his office sitting on another's lap unless it's an infant.
"Hello guys, please know you can tell me anything, and as long as it doesn't defy laws then I will keep what you say to myself if that's what you'd like," Pastor James starts.
(Fitz)
I look at Clare and Owen, her sitting in his lap, and cuddled up, and I'm still shocked for my friends. And to know she's had sex once on her wedding night, doesn't remember it, hasn't felt comfortable with it again and is 18 and pregnant is kind of hard to wrap my mind around.
"I'm not really sure where to start," Clare begins and brings me out of my thoughts.
"Why don't you start with your relationships with both Fitz and Owen. I know Fitz mentioned when we met that he knew you both from school," Pastor James comments.
"Um, actually when we were in school together Mark and Owen were good friends but I wasn't too close to either, in a sense," Clare starts and I can see where explaining what I did would be difficult.
"Mark?" Pastor James questions.
I see his confused face, and decide to explain. "That's me, but Clare and my girlfriend Gaea are the only ones I accept calling me that. I've never really been fond of my name."
"I'm happy to hear you have a girlfriend Fitz," he replies with a smile and then adds, "please continue Clare."
"Well, Mark was away, and he and Owen lost contact up until recently, and Owen and I both had some of the same friends and became friends ourselves in the last year. Anyway we were at a wedding for two of our friends on Easter weekend, and they didn't end of getting married, but Owen and I…" Clare gets to and then her sentence trails off and we all look at her.
There's silence for a moment but Owen continues the story. "We got married while we were drunk and didn't know it until the next morning," Owen finishes and Pastor James is surprised. And then Owen and Clare both lift their hands with the rings they both wear now.
"Ok, well I understand your relationship and closeness better now," he comments with a slight laugh. "And you both seem happy," he says and they nod. "So I'm guessing given Easter was a few weeks ago, that you both have dealt with the news, maybe even told your families by now?" he questions.
"Yes our families, and close friends including Fitz were told over that first week, and now we wear the rings and people at Clare's school know," Owen comments. "It was in telling our friends that Fitz actually became a close friend again," he adds. It's nice to have these close friendships now and then I hear Clare sniffling. She must be thinking about her family again.
"Are you alright Clare?" Pastor James asks. Clare nods but doesn't speak hiding her head on Owen's shoulder a bit to wipe away some tears.
"Clare and her mom were having problems just before we left for the wedding. Her mother and step-father didn't take the news well, and wanted to have our marriage annulled, and then when we were having a reception with those who did support us they tried to kidnap Clare," Owen tells him, and now Pastor James looks worried.
"Have you done anything about that? Are you making sure you stay safe? If any of you need support of any kind, please know you have it, and I will try to help in whatever ways I can. Every member of my congregation is a member of my family and please know that if you can't go to your own parents you can come to me about anything, I've heard it all," he comments and I can't help but smile. Pastor James really is a great guy.
"We have an order of protection against both of them for Clare, myself, Fitz, his girlfriend and one of Clare's sisters. Well, sort of adopted sister. Clare's mom isn't her mom. Anyway, we haven't seen or heard from them for two weeks. But it's been hard on Clare not having her actual family, her mom especially during this time. My parents have been supportive and our friends parents but still. I think, or at least hope that getting arrested and being served with orders of protection scared them from doing anything else," Owen explains and Pastor James seems relieved yet still concerned about all of this.
"I can understand given its mother's day why you would be upset about your mom's reaction and not having a relationship with her Clare, but was that everything that was bothering you? The three of you seemed shocked and maybe even slightly upset during the service I noticed," Pastor James explains.
I see Clare look up at Owen and then she looks toward me before whispering to him, "When you announced the flowers to women who are mothers or are expectant mothers this morning I found a way to tell Owen which I couldn't find before. By raising my hand I told my husband of three weeks and a close friend that I am pregnant," Clare explains and she still sounds slightly scared.
"Oh my," Pastor James starts and then pauses a moment before continuing. I think he's trying to decide on how to approach the situation. "I guess this was quite a shock to you all then. Excuse my questioning, but did you become pregnant on your wedding night Clare?" he asks, and Clare nods her head but doesn't speak. "I know Fitz that you're 18, and I'd assume the two of you are still quite young correct?"
"I'm 19 and Clare turned 18 in February," Owen explains and Pastor James nods his head.
"Yes you are young, but you have each other, and I assume you have some support given what you've told me. And you're not the youngest pregnant couple I've counselled, or even the youngest married couple I've counselled," he comments. The first doesn't surprise me but the second actually does. "I'm sure given that you only found out this morning Owen that the news probably hasn't really sunk in yet, and maybe it even hasn't for you either Clare. Especially if you've been trying to find a way to tell Owen," he comments.
"No sir, it really hasn't yet," Owen replies and I see Pastor James smile at this.
"You can all just call me Pastor James, or just James if you prefer, sir just feels so formal, but yes that makes sense Owen. How about you Clare?" he questions.
"I've just been questioning everything that's happening, so far I guess," Clare answers.
"I suppose the best place to start would be to make a doctor's appointment and then discuss your options together. My views both personally and professionally on abortion are that it isn't a viable option for anyone, but I will of course stand with you no matter what you decide, and if that is the option you take no matter what you are still a part of our church family. You will always be welcome here," Pastor James promises and I can understand where he is coming from.
"Owen and I need to talk about options soon I know but I can't have an abortion, I just can't," Clare says tearing up again laying her head on Owen's shoulder and he rubs her back.
"I'd never ask or force you to Clare, abortion just isn't an option right from the start," Owen states strongly, and we all seem to smile at this announcement, even Clare.
"I am glad to hear that," Pastor James comments in a kind tone. "As you are both so young and have only been together a short time and don't have the support of Clare's family, would the two of you like to consider the option of counselling here. It could be private sessions with me and you both as a couple, or you could choose to do group counselling also. Before getting married our young couples usually do marriage counselling but as I'm sure you didn't do that as yours was unexpected it may be good for you both," he adds.
Clare lifts her head from Owen's shoulder and they look at each other a moment as if silently speaking. They seem to be able to do that quite well recently. "I think we'd both like that Pastor James," Owen comments for them both.
"Alright then its settled, I'll email you the information and we can decide when works best for the three of us," Pastor James comments.
"Thank you," Clare whispers.
Pastor James stands and extends his hand, so Owen stands Clare up before standing himself, and then I stand and the Pastor shakes all of our hands. And then saying goodbye Clare and Owen head out of the office.
"Thank you for everything you're doing for them both Pastor James, it truly means a lot to me," I comment before I leave.
"It's not a problem Fitz, they are a wonderful young couple, who seem to have just done things a little quicker in life than most, but I'm happy to help them, and you in any way I can. How are things going at home?" he asks.
"I'm liking my apartment, thanks again for the lead. I still try to check in with my mom, but it's hard, and now with Gaea in my life being there is even harder," I comment, but I'm not ready to explain just yet and Pastor James seems to understand and just smiles and shakes my hand once more saying goodbye and then I leave and hug Clare and fist bump Owen goodbye before we all head back to our apartments.
(Clare)
We arrive home and I sit on the couch and am quickly followed by Owen sitting next to me.
"So how do you want to deal with this?" Owen asks putting his arm around me.
"I guess we'll have to tell everyone, although given my mom's reaction to us being married, I don't really want to tell her about this. We could tell your family at dinner," I reply.
"Ya, I don't think telling your mom is good either, and I'm not sure how my parents will take the news. I guess we'll have to get you to a doctor and find out what other stuff you need," Owen responds.
"Emma gave me the name and number of her OB/GYN, but I haven't called to make an appointment yet, I wanted to talk to you first," I tell him.
"That makes sense, but we should probably call tomorrow morning to make a first appointment and find out what needs to happen, and what we might expect. So if we're telling my family tonight I guess we can tell our friends and everyone this week," Owen suggests and I nod slightly but I'm not fully listening as something has occurred to me.
"Clare? Are you alright, you're spacing out again," Owen say squeezing my shoulder slightly.
Nervously I raise my eyes from my lap where I was looking and meet Owen's eyes. "I know I can't have an abortion, and it's not just because of my faith, but we're moving so fast now it seems but I just realized, do you even want to be a father Owen?"
Thanks again to everyone who has enjoyed this story up until this point. And maybe someday we'll all get this story again.