A/N: Another sad post-httyd 2 drabble. Spoilers. Mild hicstrid. Possibly might need tissues if you're emotional like I am.

Hiccup was in the cove, the one where he had first met Toothless. He sat next to a moss-covered rock, camouflaged from sight for the most part. He was looking through his old journals and drawings, ones from years ago. He'd drawn these before his father even knew about him and Toothless, before he had known the truth about the dragons. But he'd gotten about five years to show his father and the rest of the village what they were really like. Just five years. Five short years.

He stared at one of his old sketches, the first sketch he had drawn of Toothless, with smudged charcoal where the second tailfin should be. He flipped to another sketch. Fin designs. Gobber had been going nuts when Hiccup wouldn't tell him about his secret project in his workshop. Of course, Hiccup couldn't have told anyone about it at the time.

His thoughts flashed forward to the day of the final exam. The incident in the kill ring with the monstrous nightmare. Toothless captured. His father furious.

You're not a Viking... You're not my son.

His heart broke into pieces all over again thinking about it, just like it had when he sat up from the floor of the great hall, where his father had pushed him away and rejected him as his family. But then the memory fast-forwarded again, to the battle with the Red Death. He was soaked with seawater as he hopped on Toothless's back, ready to take flight. Just then he'd felt a firm, heavy hand on his own, small one. His father's hand.

I'm sorry. F-for everything.

Oh, gods...

You don't have to go up there.

But he did have to.

I'm proud... to call you my son.

What was the point of holding it all in? Hiccup covered his mouth with his hand and held it there. A few tears forced their way out, and he quickly swiped them away. He couldn't cry. It had been a week. One week. He couldn't lose it now.

Astrid found Hiccup at the cove. Toothless was nowhere to be found, and that worried her even more. When she got close enough to see Hiccup's face, she knew exactly what was going on.

"...Hiccup?" she asked softly. Hiccup's head snapped up.

"Oh! Hey... sorry, thought maybe you were someone else."

"Can I sit down?"

Hiccup gave a halfhearted nod, and Astrid sat.

"I never even got to say goodbye" he murmured. His voice held tears, but Hiccup had a very stoic face expression. He was holding it back.

"I... I'm sorry. I can leave-" Astrid made to stand up.

"-No." Hiccup quickly grabbed hold of her wrist - not roughly, but not too gently, either. He realized how desperate he appeared, for wanting her to stay. Then he realized he didn't care. He needed someone there with him - he was tired of sitting alone, moping to himself. "Just... yeah. You don't have to leave."

Astrid sighed, moving to sit closer next to Hiccup on the rock. "Are you feeling okay?"

This earned her a shrug from the other Viking. There was so little expression on his face, it made Astrid feel uneasy. Hiccup was never like this. But now he had a good excuse. Still, he shouldn't be so emotionless, it was unnecessary. She wondered if Hiccup was afraid to act sad in front of her, now that it had been a week and he was the new chief.

"You know, you don't have to be so stoic, Hiccup..." then she froze. She realized the weight of what she'd just said. Hiccup heard it, too. He shook his head, and Astrid became scared he would send her away. But all he said was,

"No... I do. I need to be... well, not so emotional. Not when the tribe needs me."

"But you don't have to be completely unfeeling."

"It's what a chief has to do, not be biased, not be emotional... It's how he has to be. A chief protects his own, Astrid, and I can't do that if I don't suck it up and deal with it."

"I think your mother would say differently."

"Why do you care what my mother has to say?"

The blonde Viking fell silent. Hiccup turned guiltily away.

"I'm... I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"I understand why you did. Hiccup... you don't need to bottle it up like you're doing."

"Well what am I supposed to do?!" Hiccup let out a strangled cry, tearing at his hair and looking to the sky for an answer. The emotional agony leaked through his voice, and Astrid heard it all in the one sentence he'd uttered. She scooted closer to him on the rock they both sat on. Her arm wrapped around his shoulder. Hiccup let her hold him.

"Go ahead" she whispered gently. "You can let it out. Really. No one here is going to judge you... It's just me here."

At first, there was only silence. The young chief sat very still, stiff against Astrid's arm, facing away from the woman. Then, all at once, he broke down into quiet sobs sunk into the embrace. Astrid quietly cried with him. Hiccup's shoulders heaved up and down as he buried his face into Astrid's shoulder, which was covered by her fur hood that she always kept down. One of his arms hung limp at his side with a hand by his notebooks, the other arm he wrapped around the blonde's shoulder.

They sat like that for hours, until the young man's sobs turned to muffled but normal breathing. Until the last tear slid from his eyes. Until the grieving feeling numbed and Hiccup finally felt only the gentle comfort of the person next to him - nothing else.