"Mina, you're out of your mind"

Having already been told by Serena that she and Rei had switched bodies, the Senshi of Venus had been expecting either 'Rei' or 'Serena' to call her. What she had not expected was Luna calling her – a call that came on her communicator around ten o'clock that Sunday night.

"Mina, please come in. We have a major emergency!" Luna cried into Serena's communicator.

"Luna, relax," Mina said back. "Serena's already called and told me that she and Rei have switched bodies. Which I find hysterical."

"Mina, are you on drugs?" An exciting Luna proclaimed. "How in the world can you find it funny that our Princess and Mars have switched bodies?"

"Because it is funny Luna," Mina answered. "Back on the Moon you used to that to me and the other Senshi. And truth be told, I enjoyed being a different Senshi, especially one of the Outer Senshi.

"Of course I really loved being Mercury. She had and still has smoking body."

"Mina, have you lost your mind?" Luna asked.

"Oh, I guess you don't remember everything do you," Mina longingly asked.

"What on earth are you talking about?" Luna enquired.

"Luna, all of us had a thing for one of our fellow Senshi," Mina explained like it was second nature.

"What?" Luna cried.

"Yea, I loved Mercury, Jupiter loved Saturn, Serenity loved Mars, and Uranus loved Neptune," Mina replied. "Pluto of course loved the Queen, but I was the only one who knew that. But yea, we all had a thing for each other. I just wish everyone would remember that, it would make things a whole lot easier."

"Well, as much as I'm sure you'd love to talk about yours and the other Senshi's exploits," Luna began.

"Boy, would I Luna," Mina interrupted. "You'd probably have a coronary episode."

"Mina, would you shut up and listen for a minute?" Luna demanded.

"Oh all right, what's got your panties in such a nicky kitty-cat," the Love Goddess asked.

"It's Rei, she's totally out of control. She not only thinks she is Serena, she wants to be Serena," Luna said.

"Yea I know, Serenity already told me about her plan," Mina said. "I find that even funnier than them switching bodies."

"Mina, do you know everything that is going on?" Luna asked.

"Of course I know what's going," Mina said like that should be a no-brainer. "I am the leader of the Sailor Senshi after all."

"So, you're not going to do anything about the situation?" Luna demanded.

"Of course I am," Mina responded. "I'm going to sit back and let Rena have her fun. Her being Rei is going to be hysterical. And Rei's, or should I say 'Serena's,' break-up with Darien is going to be even funnier.

"Mina, you're out of mind," Luna responded.

"Actually, I'm totally in my mind," Mina playfully responded. "Of course, if you'd like, I could be in someone else's mind. It wouldn't be that hard for you to do there kitty-cat!"

"Mina, no! There is no way I'm switching you Amy, no matter how much you'd like me to," Luna responded as she hung up the communicator.

"You know, you and you're and partner have no idea on how have a good time there kitty-cat," Mina said to Artemis, who had been listening in on the whole conversation.

"Mina, you're really out of your mind," a disgusted Artemis said as he got ready to leave.

"Artemis, before you leave, do you think that maybe you could…." Mina began to ask.

"No Mina. There is no way that I'm switching you and Amy again," Artemis. "The last time that happened it took me almost a month to figure out you two had been switched. At least when you and Lita had been switched, I knew it immediately."

"How….how do you figure out that me and Lita had been switched yet not figure out when me and Amy had been switched?" A bewildered Mina asked her guardian.

"Because Lita hated being you!" Artemis answered as he disappeared into the night.

"That witch, how could not being me," Mina wondered. "I mean, apart from Serenity, there wasn't a girl who didn't want to be me.

"I mean, even stoic Saturn had some fun as me. Of course, no one had more being me than Amy did," Mina added as blood began to flow out of her nose.

However, before Mina had the chance to dwell on things too much, she finally got one of the calls that she had been waiting for.

"Hi Rei," Mina said as she picked up her phone.

"Mina, how did you know it was mean?" An exasperated Serena asked.

"Uh, have you never heard of call waiting there my temporarily former cousin?" Mina asked.

"Figures you would have that," Serena said.

"Oh, come Rei, don't be like," a put-off Mina said.

"Like what?"

"You know, like you're pissed off at the world."

"Can't help it, it's what I do best."

"So, what can I do for you, Rei?"

"What are you doing tomorrow?"

"I take it you need me for something?"

"Yea, I need you take me shopping."

"Anywhere in particular?"

"Maybe!"

"Let me guess, you want me to take to a few stories so that you buy some clothes that you'd like to see your beloved in after you guys switch back?"

"That, and maybe you can buy some things for you to wear whenever you and Amy decide to switch bodies for a little while?"

"Sorry, I already asked Artemis and Luna about that and they flat refused to do so."

"Like they could stop me from doing that?"

"Wait, I only though Luna and Artemis had that kind of power."

"Yea, that'd be a big negative blondie. Queen Selenity had that kind of power too."

"You mean, her and Pluto?"

"On quite a few occasions."

"Wait, I thought I was the only one who knew about Selenity and Pluto?"

"You big dumb-dumb, you think I didn't know about them too?"

"Wow, way to go all PMS on me!"

"What can I say, it's part of my charm."

"So, since you have the power to switch the rest of us, does that mean that?"

"Yes, you and the other Senshi will eventually remember your pasts and get together."

"Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes….."

"Mina, so help me if I go deaf because of you…"

"I know, you'll fry my ass!"

"No, I do something even worse than that."

"Oh yea, like what?"

"How'd you like to be Luna?"

"You wouldn't dare?"

"Try me!"

"Alright, I'll behave."

"Good girl. That's what I wanted to hear."

"So, how's your 'Rei training' going?"

"Great, that's why I had to call you. Being able to access Rei's psychic abilities was how I learned about you and the other Senshi getting together."

"Anything else you'd like to admit to."

"Hell, no!"

"Oh come on, you know anything you share will stay between you and me!"

"Oh yes, like you're the Babe Ruth of keeping secrets."

"The who of what?"

"It's a line I learned from Darien."

"Speaking of Mr. Grumpy Pants, has he tried calling you since his date with your replacement?"

"No, and I'm kind of surprised he hasn't called me yet."

"Maybe he doesn't want to deal with your bitchy attitude?"

"Damn straight he doesn't. Of course neither will 'Serena.'"

"You know, you're just plain evil."

"Well, I did dress as the devil for Halloween last year."

"You mean your predecessory dress as devil for Halloween last year. And if I remember correctly there were about a million guys who wanted to jump her bones in the worst of ways."

"Yea, and it's a good thing predecessor din't swing that way or else I'd be frying a lot of guys asses right now."

"Yea, well maybe the old Rei should have let one of those guys had their way with her, then maybe then she wouldn't have treated you like shit when you were yourself."

"Yea, well I'm glad that none of them did."

"You know, you could…"

"Mina, would you get your mind of the gutter, there's no way in hell I'm going to let any man touch me!"

"Okay, okay….you're a woman kind of person."

"Yea, and so are you."

"Guilty as charged. Okay, last thing, do plan and your significant other plan on jumping each other bones before or after you switch back?"

"That's for me, and me alone to know blondie."

"Oh come on, the first time that Amy and I made love was when we were each other's body."

"Yea, well just because you and Amy are that perverted doesn't mean that I am."

"You must be if you're still willing to talk with me about it."

"Good night, Mina."

"Ah Rei, you're no fun anymore."

"And I won't be until the real Rei finally admits her feelings for me."

"Yea, but until then, enjoy the body you're in now. You've earned it."

"Good night, Mina."

"Oh come Rei, I won't judge you."

…..

"Rei?"

…..

"You still there?"

….

"That bitch, she hung on me. Well, she won't be able to get away from me tomorrow."

…..

"Stupid Mina, thinking I would have sex with my own body. She really is out of her mind."

Of course, as Serena got ready to bed that night, she began to think of how exciting it would to have sex with her own body, which caused her nose to gush out blood, which kept Serena up later than she wanted to that night, which meant that she only got a few hours of sleep that, which meant that she was going to be extra bitchy the next day; and the last thing anyone ever wanted to deal with was a bitchy Rei.

Of course the world would soon have to deal with something much worse than just a bitchy Rei. The world would soon have to deal with a bitchy Rei whose body was holding the soul of a sexually frustrated Serena.