To bagginsoftheshire666: Sorry for such a late reply, but you have your PMs disabled, so this is my only way to thank you for following this story!
And thank you all for reading the newest update. Enjoy,guys!
Disclaimer: I don't own DA.
She woke up before dawn, roused by muffled sounds outside. Failing to fall asleep again, she fumbled for her clothes as quietly as she could so that she wouldn't wake Sera. The elf was still asleep and tangled in her sheets like a child, mouth half-open. She also had this ugly habit of taking up more than her half of the bed, but Anastasia didn't mind that much. More than being exiled almost to the very edge of the bed, she disliked being alone.
At the Tower, she had never spent a night alone. As an initiate or apprentice, she shared a dormitory with a dozen or so other young mages. Even when she rose to the rank of Enchanters she still had a roommate. Certainly there were times she wished to have some privacy, a corner of a world she could call her own. However, at Skyhold she realized she hated waking up at night to a silence instead of someone's quiet breathing or occasional mumbling.
There was something unnerving about the silence; knowing your life didn't mean anything to the rest of the world felt worse when you were alone. And that was what her life had been worth of back at the Tower. Now…things were better, but she still preferred to have someone nearby. And with Sera so often coming to her room to have a chat, she had simply offered her to sleep over once. And Sera found it preferable to walking across the fort to her room in a middle of a night, too.
"What's up?" Sera's sleepy voice mumbled.
Anastasia winced. Sera's keen senses were a pain sometimes. It was a great advantage somewhere in the open, when the quietest sound could mean a threat and you had to wake up within an instant, but it also meant Sera had a very light sleep at any other occasion. She had probably been up long before Anastasia.
"I can't sleep."
"Yeah…they're loud," the elf replied, pulling the sheets over her head so that only her hair stuck out of the white mess.
Quickly, Anastasia finished dressing and hurried to leave the room. Her steps led her through the cold, empty fortress, following the sounds coming from the courtyard. As she neared the exit, she kept meeting more and more people, servants mostly, who greeted her with a broad smile and a warm word.
But that was it for the warmth. The air outside was biting cold and her breath turned into a mist in front of her face as she hugged herself, hiding her hands in the sleeves of her robe. That was the usual weather at Skyhold this time of a year; chilly mornings would turn into pleasant afternoons and back into biting nights.
She even noticed the retinue for the grand journey to Val Royeaux packed some winter gear, too. The guards already wore new coats to protect them from cold, their faces already red from it's caress.
She shuddered when she stopped at the top landing, leaning against the banister with her elbows. The rough stone was cold beneath her arms, but she didn't move away, busy watching all the activities deep below her. Carts and carriages were being loaded with supplies, horses groomed and readied for the long journey, everyone assembling and making sure things were to their liking.
Anastasia smiled at the sight of Vivienne moving through the crowd. Her motions were slower and less elegant as usually, and it was plain to see she leaned heavily onto her staff, but she was alive and well enough to undertake the journey. In her coat with fur hood, as black as coal and just as lustreless, she looked as magnificent as always, waving around her hands hidden in a pair of warm, knitted gloves, giving instructions to the small army of servants gathered around her. That was Vivienne. Cassandra and Leliana both seemed to be just as busy, each organizing their part of the grand retinue that was to accompany them to the capital.
Anastasia smiled sadly, showing a bit of her hands to blow at them, warming them up at least a little bit. She pushed away from the banister to continue her descent. She made her way through the busy courtyard and found herself in the stables. The smell of horses and straw welcomed her, so did the warmth she sought.
Many of the horses were already outside, but there still were few remaining, and she immediately headed to the one she liked most. Shemeeck stood ready in his stall, his saddle already on his back, waiting patiently like a good boy. He welcomed Anastasia with a friendly whinny and a slight nod of his beautiful head.
"Aww, isn't your master a good one?" she asked him, stroking his neck. "He left you here in the warmth rather than having you freeze outside. He's not that bad, not at all," she smiled at him, resting her forehead against his rich mane. It had been braided into countless little braids, with many colourful beads on. She doubted it was Cullen's idea. There were far too few red ones for that. She played with them absentmindedly, the beads rattling against each other gently, when a gust of cold air gushed in the stables and she frowned towards the door. She couldn't see them from where she stood, but she recognized the voices talking.
"...further north. She intended to reach Weisshaupt and it's a long way to go yet," Hawke was saying, her tone making Anastasia frowned. If she didn't know the voice from the last night, she would have her doubts. She sounded nothing like the woman she'd met the previous day.
"We could definitely use her influence among the Grey Wardens," Cullen replied. "Even though their strength and numbers aren't what they used to be, every extra swords count these days."
"Don't overestimate her. Shani doesn't really have as much power in the order as you'd…" Then the pair finally came into view and Hawke's face lit up with a broad smile. "Oh, looks like you'll have to walk, Cullen. Your horse's taken," she delivered cheerfully, spreading her arms like she wanted to hug Ana. Which was probably what she had in mind, too, considering evens of the last nigh. Drunk Hawke was a very…friendly Hawke. "Anastasia! Aren't you a sight for sore eyes so early in the morning," she greeted the younger mage, beaming. Surprisingly however, she didn't hug her. That would require pulling her hands from her pockets where she had hid them again from the chilly air. She wasn't dressed properly either, unlike Cullen who was huddled in an extra coat and had the amazing furry pauldrons, too. "Have you noticed the braids? Don't you think he looks amazing with them?"
"Kaileena…" Cullen growled, giving the woman by his side a murderous look.
"Don't you like them? It took me almost two hours to finish them all last night," she replied, pouting slightly. Then she grinned and finally freed one of her hands to tickle the horse under the chin. "Aren't you a hunk like your rider now, huh?"
"Kaileena," Cullen snarled again.
"I like them," Anastasia mumbled sheepishly, eyes dropped to the dirty floor.
"It's a warhorse, not some pet you can dress up!" Cullen protested, rushing to Shemeeck to get a better look. He grabbed a handful of the braids in his hand and then sighed. "You're gonna be the death of me one day, Kaileena."
Hawke snorted. "Funny. Isabela said this one to me once, too. Only the occasion was a bit different, heh. And who cares what you think anyway? You heard Ana, they're awesome!" she went on, walking up to him, wrapping her hand around his back.
And Anastasia's smile froze on her lips when he didn't move to shake her arm off. She dropped her eyes again, watching her hands instead of Cullen's quite helpless face as he took in the disaster of his horse. "Just don't let me drag into this. It's obviously between you two. I'll better leave," she moved towards the door, but Cullen's hand quickly caught her wrist. "Don't. Else I'll kill her," he whispered.
Kaileena just laughed, waving her hand dismissively.
"Shouldn't you be all miserable after all you've drunk?" he growled towards her.
She shifted her weight, clasping her hands behind her back. "Hmmmmmagic?" she drawled, tilting her head. Then suddenly, she put on an expression Anastasia hadn't seen on her yet – she actually turned sombre. "Anyway," she begun, looking at Anastasia, "I see our friend's patience is wearing thin so I'll better leave while I still can and finally find Varric. Didn't you happen to meet him, Ana?"
The younger mage just shook her head, baffled. The change was…it felt like talking to another person completely. Her face, her body language, her posture, her voice…everything was different. Even the way she looked appeared different without her narrowing them provocatively.
"Never mind then…I'll catch up with you later, Anastasia. As for you, Cullen," she turned to the former templar, and her smile wasn't the usual flirty, mischievous grin she wore usually, "good journey. And don't forget to buy something nice when you're out there visiting distant regions. Remember what I said, because it really works."
Anastasia frowned, her eyes darting to Cullen with curiosity. He was frowning slightly. "I might give it a try," he mumbled, then chuckled. "I'll let this," he rattled with the beads, "slip. For now, Hawke. When you find Varric, tell him to hurry. Cassandra wants us to leave as early as possible."
"Will do," she nodded, leaving the two alone. Neither of them moved until the door closed behind her.
Anastasia let out a long breath. "I'm not sure what to think."
"It's pretty easy," Cullen shrugged, staring after Hawke even though she was already gone. "The woman who came was Kaileena, an apostate mage with too much power within her reach. The woman who left was Hawke, the Champion of Kirkwall. She can be quite a reasonable person when she wants, but she doesn't choose to be."
"Doesn't choose to be?" Anastasia wondered.
"Well, she grew up being the head of their family, having three hungry mouths to feed after her father had died. She led them out of Ferelden when the Blight hit. She got them into Kirkwall, retrieved their mansion in the High Town…the list goes on," he paused for a moment, turning to her. "She never liked being the one responsible for everything. The one to be blamed when things went wrong," he uttered, his eyebrows knitted together, hands playing with the colourful beads. "It took me years to understand she doesn't do all the mischief only to spite me or other people around her, that it was just how she worked. She once told me that if she cared only a little bit more about the world, she would break under the weight of all the problems people piled on her." He made a face.
"She must be very strong," Anastasia mumbled, stroking Shemie's nostrils. The horse half-closed his eyes, shifting closer to her, as much as his stall allowed.
"She is, I guess," Cullen mumbled, letting his hand drop. He didn't want to talk about Hawke, not now.
"So…you're probably leaving soon, huh?" she asked as if reading his thoughts, eyeing the saddle on Shemie's back.
Cullen nodded, his eyes never leaving her face. "Our horses are still tired from the long journey we returned from yesterday. Cassandra wants to set slower pace because of that, but she also wants to cover the same distance."
"You had to rise very early to have everything prepared already," she reflected, examining his horse. She was smiling faintly, her eyes sad, her cheeks coloured into a gentle shade of pink by the cold air. He fingers were red and trembling, too.
"I wanted to have time to say goodbye," he admitted, patting Shemeeck's neck as an excuse to move closer to her. The horse snorted and nodded a few times, the colourful beads rattling quietly.
"Is this why you were with Hawke?" she asked with a strange edge to her voice, avoiding his eyes. The ghost of a smile turned rather wistful.
"Are you displeased by the notion, my lady?" he asked with a smirk.
"What did I tell you about the name?" she said sternly, but still refused to look at him. He laughed at her stubbornness, reaching out. He touched her chin, turning her head to him. "I'm sorry, Anastasia," he started saying, liking the way her name rolled off his tongue. He let go of her face to gather her hands between his, warming the numb things up. "No, that wasn't why I was with Hawke. We just met on our way here. Like she said, she's searching for Varric. Her lover had sent her a letter, and obviously Hawke needed to relate something to Varric from her."
Anastasia blinked, her eyes widening, mouth opening in a gasp. "Her?!" she echoed in a surprised, high voice. "Her lover is a…woman?!"
"Why, yes. Didn't you know?" he asked with a frown. "I thought you'd notice how amicable she was to you last night."
Now Anastasia was beaming. "So you're not…" she broke off quickly, shutting her mouth and looking away. She closed her eyes for a moment. "I meant…she's not…I thought…eh…" And she gave up, using her hair to hide her face from him.
"If I didn't know you, my…Anastasia, I'd think her presence made you jealous," he said quietly.
"But of course it did!" she replied, looking him straight in the eyes once more. His heart skipped a beat. "She's…an amazing person, a powerful and respected mage… of course I'm jealous of her," she went on, tilting her head. And she got to spend most of the night with you, joking and talking, and touching… she added inwardly. Her eyes dropped to their hands. His were so warm and gentle if calloused from all the swordplay. "She had to break a few hearts back in Kirkwall, huh?"
"Many," Cullen nodded, and even the scarce morning light showed how she blushed slightly. "She was quite a good match, descending from Kirkwall's nobility, and a lot of families made tremendous efforts to pair their sons with her. And then she brought her relationship with Isabela into the open and all their hopes vanished." She looked more and more relieved and happy with his every word. "Why are you smiling like that, my lady?" he asked, trying to keep his face straight. "Not that I don't enjoy such a lovely sight, but I find myself curious."
"Eh…heh, eh…you see…no reason?" she stammered finally, still smiling. Was there any other way she could embarrass herself left? She hoped not, she already felt like stupid, love-struck fool. She really should stop talking.
"No reason," he echoed, squeezing her hands gently, giving her a ghost of a smile. "One would almost think you're happy to see me off."
"What?" she blurted out and he could feel her hands flinch in his. "No! That's not what I…oh," she chuckled. "You're just teasing me…" she trailed off, biting her lip.
An air howled, rushing through the stables as someone walked in. Cullen squeezed her hands again gingerly, giving her a meek glance, and headed to see who was coming. Anastasia turned to Shemeeck, smiling at the horse.
"Ser, we're ready to set off."
"I'll be there in a minute. Just let me get my horse."
Anastasia's shoulder sagged and she reached to touch Shemie's neck for one more time.
"I'll have to go," he uttered when he joined her side again, fumbling with the stall's door to get it open. It swung to a side with a quiet squeak and then he paused, hand still holding the top of the wooden door. Shemeeck waited inside, blinking at him.
"Is something wrong?" Anastasia asked.
"Yes. This whole journey is," he admitted, sighing. He wasn't used to the careful balance of Orlesian politics. He preferred a straightforward approach to problems, not games or schemes or tricks.
"Well…" Anastasia mumbled, searching for something to say. "You get to meet a lot of nice people."
"In Val Royeaux?" he asked dubiously, turning to her, his eyes watching her with a strange intensity.
She shrugged. "I didn't have time to think of anything better to say," she mumbled. "Sorry."
He chuckled, hanging his head for a moment, taking a deep breath like you do before you jump. "No, the nice people are left behind here at Skyhold." He lifted his eyes to her. "Especially one," he added, reaching out. She sucked in the air quickly when he placed his hands on her waist, bringing her close for an embrace. She begun protesting feebly, but when he pressed his cheek against hers, she relaxed, wrapping her arms around his neck. She was trembling slightly, from cold maybe, her breath tickling his ear.
She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. She smelled horses and leather, the foam they used at Skyhold for shaving and sweat. "You're uncomfortably hard," she mumbled. It wasn't until she felt him grinning she realized her unfortunate choice of words. "The armour," she wheezed, grimacing.
"Tell me about it," he whispered in her ear.
"I just did…Oh, Maker, just shut me now before I make a fool of myself some more…" she whispered and moved to pull away from him.
He touched her cheek, thumb caressing her cheekbone. Fulfilling her wish, he leaned in, brushing her lips with the softest of kisses, giving her the time to move away, but praying that she didn't at the same time. Her warm breath tickled his cheek when she responded, her lips softer and sweeter than he ever imagined
Deepening the kiss, he wished to freeze the moment, to make it last forever. He felt her soft touch in his hair, heard the soft sound she made when he pulled her even closer to him, his arms carefully encircling her waist.
It felt too soon when he moved away, but the emptiness he felt was gone when he looked at her face. Her eyes were still closed, lips half-opened, cheeks reddening even more. Her eyelids flickered and slowly opened, giving him the most adorable look ever.
"I already cannot wait to be back," he whispered, fumbling for the reins of his horse with his eyes still fixed on her face. He dropped his arm holding her close to him and she made a step back, taking a slow breath. Then she gave him a hesitant smile, not sure what else to do.
Just as his hand held the reins, Shemeeck moved to leave his stall finally. "Will I see you tonight?" he asked quietly, turning as the horse refused to wait until he was done, and headed to the door, beads singing their quiet song as he moved.
She smiled brightly. "In your dreams, ser Knight."
"A cruel answer, my lady…" he joked, passing the reins from hand to hand behind his back to get a few more precious seconds of being with her. "I guess I'll have to wait and see."