DISCLAIMER- YOU GUYS KNOW... NOBODY READS DISCLAIMERS ANYWAY!

ONESHOT- MISTLETOE

PAIRING- ELENAxTSENG

If there's one thing I know about Tseng, it's that a party isn't exactly his cup of tea. But Rufus Shinra insisted and we're pretty much his body guards anyway. What else are we supposed to do when the 'Turks' no longer exists as an official organization?

Reno lazily, as always (when does he do anything diligently?), downs another drink as if it's nothing. Rude just sits and observes the guests around the house. Tseng is resting his chin on his folded arms, which lay across the tabletop. He almost never slouches like that... He must really hate this.

"Feeling alright, Sir?" I ask with a look of concern. He sighs and straightens.

"Why wouldn't I be feeling alright? There're drunk idiots everywhere, the President is probably already in his room for the night, and we're stuck here while I should be getting some sleep," he says flatly, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I highly doubt Shinra's asleep by now," Reno leans back in his seat and flicks the ash off the end of his cigarette. "This is his Christmas party after all."

"Could you not do that outside?" Tseng nods toward the smoke between his fingers.

"I could," he shrugs. "But it's like zero degrees out there!"

"Quit being so dramatic," I roll my eyes.

"Fine, why don't you go outside without your jacket or shirt buttoned and see how I feel."

"I'd rather keep my clothes on, thank you."

"Exactly."

But he extinguishes the cigarette just for Tseng's sake. Rude seems to be uncomfortable by the close proximity of someone's butt to his face, and by the disgusted look he just gave, they most likely just farted. I groan when someone opens the door and cold whoosh of air washes over me, making me shiver. Reno smirks proudly.

"Told you!"

"Shut up."

"Why? Because I'm right?"

"No, because you're annoying."

"It's because I'm right, isn't it?"

"No! It's not that cold outside! This is the Edge we're talking about!"

"I'm right," he grins.

"No you're not! I..."

"Will you two stop arguing?" Tseng snaps and I instantly close my mouth.

"Sorry boss," Reno says, but he doesn't look sorry at all. "I think I'm gonna go refill my cup."

"Of course you are," I mutter.

"Elena," Tseng scowls at me.

"Sorry."

"So much for getting a drink," Rude sighs. We all turn to see Reno leaning against the counter and flirting with some girl.

"Yup," I sigh too. This is not a very fun place to be. "What would you be doing if we were home right now?" I muse aloud.

"I'd be sleeping," Tseng mumbles, laying his head on the table.

"... Reading probably," Rude answers.

"I'd be... Taking a nice long bath," I smile to myself.

"It's nice to know you like to sit in your own filth," Reno smirks, sitting back down next to us. The girl follows behind and whispers something in his ear. I roll my eyes when his flash and he stands up.

"Right, uh, gotta go. Catch you guys later!" He announces, stumbling away with the blonde.

"Great. How come he gets to leave?" I groan.

"He's writing me a report tomorrow," Tseng sighs.

"We all know he's not gonna do it," Rude frowns.

"I know."

"Why haven't we fired him already," I complain. "Because he's a good worker when need be. How else would he have been a Turk, Elena?"

"I dunno," I say quietly.

"Hey you guys!" Some brunette walks over. "Wanna play truth or dare with us?"

"Uh, I'd rather not play a game like that with a bunch of drunk people," I decline.

"We're, like, the only sober people here. Cmon, cutesy," she grabs Tseng's arm and pulls him from his seat. Help me! His eyes scream and I ball my hands up into fists. She did not!

"Shall we go make sure he doesn't kill her?" Rude raises an eyebrow and I nod. You'd better make sure I don't kill her.

"Oh look! You're friends came too!" She squeals and I roll my eyes, sitting in the small circle of people dressed up in stupid Christmas outfits. "Let's begin! Tseng, truth or dare."

"... Truth," he finally mutters.

"Okay... Hmm... Which one of us girls do you think is the prettiest," she bats her eyelashes at him. He rolls his eyes and glares at every single person in the circle besides me and Rude.

"Him," he nods toward Rude and they all widen their eyes. I can tell Rude's fighting a laugh and I have to hide my own smile of amusement.

"Oh... Well he's pretty too, I guess," the girl eyes Rude carefully. Tseng glances over and smirks at us.

The game seems to go on forever until someone finally chooses me. The same freaking girl too...

"Truth or dare?"

"Eh... Truth," I shrug. I don't feel like getting caught in any stupid dares, though none of the ones I've seen have been too terrible.

"Who was your first crush in Shinra?"

My heart skips a beat. Shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot. That's it, I'm doing dare next!

"I think it was Reeve," I lie. Tseng laughs to himself and Rude just shakes his head. He knows I'm lying.

"Wow. Okay... You guys are strange..."

And I do choose dare next time my turn comes around. I end up drunk as frick. So does everyone else in the 'no drinking' circle. Soon we break away from the now awkward game and go back to our table, even Rude laughing. Tseng huffs when we sit down, but there's a smile still plastered to his face.

"What are we still doing here anyway," I grin. "We should just have gone to a bar or something!"

"I wish," Rude agrees. "I wonder what happened to Reno."

"That girl probably killed him and his his body in a ditch," I laugh.

"That or cut his hair. Instant Reno death," Tseng chuckles.

"We should so do that," I sigh.

"Oh geeze," Tseng's smile falls and he bangs his head on the table. "She's coming."

"Crap," I mutter as the brunette comes back.

"Where'd you go, cutesy? We missed you!"

"Get off me," he jerks his arm away from her touch.

"Why? It's not like you're on a date with someone," she scoffs.

"I, uh, have a girlfriend."

"You do?!" She and I ask at the same time. He's lying.

"Um, yeah. I do." Yup, lying. He never says um.

"Who?" She crosses her arms. "Show me a picture or something."

"I don't have one."

"Everyone has a picture of the person they're dating," she scoffs. Um... No, not exactly. She's such a weirdo...

"Um," Tseng hurriedly turns on his phone and flips through his pictures to look for a possible female to say yes to.

"Hang on, is that Elena?" She snatches the device from him.

"And the others!" He says quickly under my curious gaze.

"I still don't believe you," she smirks and hands him his phone back. Then she pulls him away again. I groan and rub my temples.

"Is it ever gonna end?"

"We should probably go get him again," Rude sighs and we stand, stumbling after him. I almost kill her when I see her dragging him toward the stupid doorway with the mistletoe hanging on the ceiling. Earlier we made sure to go in one at a time so someone didn't see out mistake and make us kiss or something. That would've been weird.

"Hey!" I call to her. She stops and smirks at me.

"What is it, Laney?"

"Don't call me that," I scowl. "And would you please just leave him alone!?"

"Why? What's wrong?" She asks.

"He didn't want to be here in the first place and now you're dragging him everywhere like a toy!" I defend. Rude raises and eyebrow and Tseng just frowns at us.

"Hey Laney," she starts. "You think..."

"My name is not Laney."

"Laney," she crosses her arms.

"Stop," I grit.

"Why? Don't like nicknames?"

"No."

"Aw, poor Laney. Scared of a new name," she taunts. I completely lose it and knock her back with a perfected uppercut.

"For your information, I am not scared of a nickname. Only my friends can call me that," I scowl. "And you are definitely not considered to be a friend."

"And now Laney is mad. Joy," she mutters. I almost pounce on her, but Rude grips my upper arm tightly when I take a step forward and the devil decides she's had enough and scrambles away with a glare.

"Elena," Tseng frowns at me and I sigh.

"Yes, I know, I'm sorry Sir."

"No, not that," he shakes his head.

I give him a curious look and cock my head to the side, waiting for an answer. He lays his hands on my shoulders and looks up. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion and follow his gaze. I'm not sure if the pressure on my lips or the realization that we ended up under the cursed plant comes first, but I do know that I jump before utterly melting. But when he pulls away I can hear a few people cheering and there's a smirk on his lips.

"Merry Christmas, Laney."

"I'm gonna punch you too," I threaten playfully and he laughs. Maybe I should punch myself and check if this is a dream...

ZE END! AW... I DON'T KNOW IF THEY HAVE A SHIPPING NAME OR NOT AND I'M TOO LAZY TO SEE WHAT IT IS, SO I JUST CALLED THEM ELENENG. IT'S FUN TO SAY, ALRIGHT?! LOVES Y'ALL! I ALSO COULDN'T RESIST THE CLASSIC MISTLETOE PLOT ;) I HONESTLY COULDN'T SEE TSENG KISSING ANYONE UNLESS IN THAT SITUATION AND MAYBE NOT EVEN THEN!