Arizona moved her lips from Callie's neck to her ear and whispered, "well, do you wanna?"
"Wanna what?" Callie said hoarsely, her voice seeming to have left her.
"Get a room," the blonde answered, climbing off Callie and extending her hand towards her.
Callie took it.
Callie was stirred from her slumber by a strange tickling sensation on her face. She could feel the after-effects of last night's drinking marathon before she even opened her eyes. Her head was pounding and as she tried to sit up, a wave up dizziness overcame her. She slumped back down in the bed and turned over, holding her head and groaning in pain.
"I miss the days when I didn't get hangovers," she mumbled to herself, brushing away whatever was irritating her nose.
She attempted to will her body back into a peaceful slumber so that she could try to sleep off this death-hangover but was interrupted by a noise to her right or more specifically; a noise coming from the right side of her bed. Callie flipped around in the bed like she'd just been electrocuted, straining to find the source of the sound. She looked on in horror as the figure she had just discovered began to stir and stretch to try to rid themselves of the aches in their body that the night before had inflicted. Callie then realised that the tickle she had felt earlier had been their hair on her face. The person turned around and groggily opened their eyes, the same eyes widening in shock when they saw Callie and their brain processed the fact that she was very, very naked.
"Callie?" the bed-intruder burbled sleepily.
"TEDDY?!" Callie yelped and immediately grabbed the nearest thing she could find to cover herself with, which happened to be a coat draped over the night-stand that she didn't remember owning.
"Cal, chill, I've seen you naked before, you're not exactly shy about other people seeing your body; which reminds me; stop cooking naked in your flat." Teddy said waving her hand dismissively at Callie and yawning.
"YES, BUT I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU NAKED TEDDY!" Callie covered her eyes with her free hand, clearly distressed.
"Oh my god I'm not wearing any clothes! Callie why am I not wearing any clothes?!"
"Don't fucking ask me, I'm as confused as you are!" Callie took her hand away from her eyes when she saw that her friend had also found something to cover herself with and was no longer exposed. She did it just in time to see the blonde's expression change from one of shock and confusion to one of apprehension. Teddy voice became dangerously low.
"Callie?"
"What?"
"I'm not wearing any underwear."
Callie went pale and put her hand under the covers to check if she was.
"Teddy?"
"What?"
"Neither am I."
The two friends stayed perfectly still and just looked at each other with unreadable expressions on their faces. Teddy was the first to speak again after what seemed like ages.
"Did we..?"
"No, no way. We didn't." Callie didn't even stop to entertain the thought for more than two seconds. There was no way that her and Teddy actually had sex. She got up and started to get dressed. The distress of waking up with a naked Teddy in her bed seemed to have quelled her hangover headache, at least for now. Callie trekked around her room, looking for any wearable clothes.
"What was I even wearing last night?" she asked, utterly perplexed.
"Uh, hello? We just woke up naked in bed together. Are we not going to talk about this?" Teddy's questions seemed to fall on deaf ears. "You were wearing the black dress with the little straps, the backless one," she answered with a grumble, not satisfied with Callie's dismissal of the nude situation.
"I can't find the damn thing," Callie said, tearing her room apart in frustration before giving up with a sigh. "Teds, there's no point talking about it because clearly neither of us remember a thing. What we are going to do though, is get out of this flat and find out what the hell happened last night, and see if anyone remembers any more than we do." Callie paused and looked towards Teddy who was uncharacteristically quiet for 11am on a Friday morning and found her asleep again, drooling slightly. Callie rolled her eyes and walked over to her, crouching down so that their faces were now level. She stopped for a second, grinning evilly at the thought of what she was about to do and took a deep breath before yelling.
"TEDDY!"
Teddy shot bolt upright in surprise, before an irritated look graced her face when she realised that the noise was her very own 'Callie alarm clock.' She grabbed the nearest pillow and covered her face with it.
Callie heard a muffled "Teddy is unavailable. Please come back later."
Callie laughed and threw a nondescript T-shirt and a pair of worn jeans at Teddy's head, or where her head would have been if it wasn't covered by a pillow.
"Come on sleepy, walk it off. We're going to see Addison," she said whilst walking to the door of her bedroom. A memory resurfaced and she stopped in her tracks, turning back round to address a heavy-eyed Teddy again. "Wait, how did you know about the naked cooking?"
"Callieee," Teddy groaned, dragging her feet along the pavement. "Why do we have to do this now? I'm tired. And hungry. And hungover," she continued, putting on her best sad face to try to sway the other girl.
But Callie's mind was firmly set, "stop whining Teddy, an hour ago, you were the one looking all the answers," she scolded.
"That was before it felt like a million little elves were pounding on the inside of my skull with their tiny, but very pointy, hammers."
"Poetic," Callie noted. "Just give the Tylenol time to kick in. You know you inflicted this upon yourself though," she said as she unlatched the gate and they walked up to the front door.
"I don't understand how you're okay," Teddy said with a look of sheer disbelief etched into her features.
"Bacon sandwich. Cure-all for hangovers. I made you one. I told you to eat it." She rang the doorbell and heard a little patter of feet after a moment of silence.
Teddy gagged, "I couldn't keep down a glass of water right now, never mind bacon." The footsteps grew gradually louder as the person on the other side of the door got closer. "I actually feel like those Tylenol might come back up to haunt me soon. I may possibly throw up."
The door opened and slammed against the wall of the hallway with a crash.
"Who's gonna throw up?"
Teddy raised her hand sheepishly and Callie pointed a finger to her as well.
Addison put her hands on both door frames and bellowed, "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" It was a rather excellent Gandalf impression, Callie observed. She grinned and added, "I'm joking Teds, I'll get you a bucket," then turned and walked back into her house with Teddy and Callie hot on her heels. The two visitors took a seat on either side of the two-seater in the middle of Addison's living room and the hostess returned a few seconds later carrying a mop bucket.
"Best I could find on short notice," she explained and sat down opposite them after putting the container by Teddy's feet.
She then turned to Callie, "I assume you're here about Arizona?"
"What? No… I… I don't know. Why, what happened to Arizona? Me and Teddy are here because we woke up naked in bed together."
"Hey, hey, don't broadcast it!" Teddy interjected.
The red-head laughed heartily, "would only happen to you two. You messes."
Teddy groaned and moved so that her forehead was resting on the rim of the bucket that was now settled on her knee.
Addison's eyebrows were raised in amusement as she looked to Callie again and saw the brunette sitting expectantly, waiting for her to explain. "You really don't remember?" she asked, thinking it ludicrous that she wouldn't.
"Remember what? Is she okay?" Callie asked, now sufficiently worried.
"Oh she's fine. It's just that you and Arizona gave us all quite a show last night."
Teddy chose this moment to raise her head from the 'in case of emergency' bucket and give her two cents on the situation. "Yeah, I thought you were going to have sex on the couch right in front of us."
Callie had a look of pure horror on her face. "What?! What did I… what did we do?"
"Well," Addison began, "from what I recall, she basically gave you a lap dance and then took you into her bedroom. You locked the door, stayed in there for about twenty minutes, came out hand in hand and then led everyone to Joe's. But my memory pretty much ends there."
'Horror' wouldn't even begin describe the look on Callie's face after hearing Addison recount her memories of the night.
"Fuck." She simply stated. "Does Arizona remember? Can you find out what happened?" she asked, chewing on her bottom lip.
"I'll ask." Teddy said, her voice echoing around the bucket
"Promise?" Callie asked.
"You sound like Arizona. I feel like you're going to ask me to pinky swear in a second."
Callie scoffed. "Who else was there Addie? On the way to Joe's."
"Umm, me, you, Arizona, Teddy," the latter raised her head from the bucket again at the mention of her name but lowered it when she realised she wasn't the one being addressed. "Mark, Derek, Meredith, Cristina, Lexie and Alex," Addison finished. "And I think April came but I'm not sure. Derek was driving, so he seems like a safe bet for the next piece of your puzzle," she offered.
Callie turned to Teddy who now had her head fully in the bucket and had at some point tied her hair back, "well, Teds? Trip to MerDer's?"
"Go on without me," she gasped, "I am dying here."
"Go on, I'll take care of the sick one," Addison said, walking Callie to the door. "Please text me with updates, this is the most interesting thing that is happening in my life now," she said with a smile and a hint of desperation in her voice.
Callie grinned at her, "well I'm glad the predicament I've managed to get myself into is providing you with entertainment."
"Keep it up girl!" Addison yelled over her shoulder as the front door closed.
Callie turned around and braced herself for what was yet to come.
"I guess I'm going to see Derek then."