A/N: Thank you all for your patience! I have had a LONG few days and I wanted to update sooner, so I apologize for being so slow! Anyway, enough excuses, here is chapter three! I'm already in the process of writing chapter four, so hopefully it will be up sooner than a week from now (but don't quote me on that!)
Hermione was exhausted after a long week of teaching. Honestly, she felt that she needed to take some time off for herself. It seemed as if she was constantly working on creating a lesson plan or grading papers. Good thing the students have been behaving this year. Well, except the Troublesome Three, but they're gone now, she thought with a smirk.
Hermione had managed to drive Severus out of her mind for several days, only engaging in small talk with him at mealtimes. It was almost as if their little exchange the other night hadn't even happened. Tonight, however, Hermione was determined to change that. She was up to date for the next two weeks on lessons, and she would fully take advantage of her free time – even if it meant being rejected by her ex-professor.
It was finally Saturday, and Hermione relished in the thought that she had all day to sit in bed and contemplate her next course of action. "I could just blatantly ask him how he feels about me, but he would never tell me truthfully."
She turned a quill over in her hand. "Or, I could try to chat with him about ordinary things again and look for subtleties in his reactions. I could even throw some innuendos in there. Yes, that's brilliant." She scribbled the idea down on parchment.
A moment later, she crumbled up the paper and threw it in the wastebasket. "This is ridiculous! Why am I putting so much thought into it?! I'll just go over to his room now and talk with him."
She stood up and faced the mirror. You're a Gryffindor. You can do this.
…
A knock on the door made Severus' heart jump. He knew it was her; after all, who else would be seeking his company at this time in the morning? He hastily made up his bed, threw on his overcoat as an afterthought and walked to the door. "Come in," he said a little shakily.
"Hello."
"Hello, Hermione. Can I help you?" Don't sound so irritable, he reminded himself.
"I just wanted to talk. If you aren't up for it right now, though…"
"No! Stay."
She sensed the urgency in his voice and smiled. "Thank you."
An uncomfortable silence filled the room as Hermione took her seat across from Severus' desk. "So…what are you up to?"
"Just grading exams. Listen to this: 'A bezoar is an exotic bird whose feathers are used in love potions.'"
"You have got to be kidding me!" Hermione laughed. "I wish I could come across absurd answers like that. Most of the time, my students simply leave the question blank."
Severus tried to think of something clever to say and failed miserably. The two were quiet for a few moments before Hermione spoke again.
"Um…Severus? Do you like my company? I mean…am I intruding?"
Oh, how he wanted to just say yes and get her out of his life. She was complicating things far more than he had ever anticipated. With his confusing feelings towards her growing, it would be so simple to just ignore his emotions and turn her away for good. He couldn't bring himself to do it, though.
"Not at all. I quite like having you around, Hermione, although we tend to fight more than anything."
She breathed a sigh of relief. He was looking at her thoughtfully, which made her believe every word he said.
"I suppose so. If you would just stop treating me like a child, we wouldn't have nearly as many arguments."
He tensed. "It is very difficult for me to see you as an equal and not a student. You must forgive me."
There it was again: the apology. A triumphant feeling filled Hermione to the core.
"Thank you. I do forgive you."
"Now, if you would stop challenging everything I said, everything would go much more smoothly as well. Do you agree?"
Hermione glared. He does have a point, her subconscious reminded her. "Fine," she said through gritted teeth.
He continued to make marks on the exams in front of him. Hermione looked on, wondering what he was thinking about. He is so intense. So focused. So dynamic.
She began to daydream about his captivating eyes, his innermost thoughts, his body…
Meanwhile, Snape drifted off into the deep recesses of his mind, only vaguely aware of the young witch's presence in front of him. He wondered what she was really like when no one else was around. What habits did she have that no one else knew about? Was she always so uptight and defensive, or did she have a soft, quiet side? And above all, what went through that big and beautiful head of hers?
He glanced up to find her gaze locked on him. Without meaning to, or knowing what he was doing in the slightest, he delved straight into her mind.
Severus saw briefly what she was thinking about, as well as the emotions that flooded her brain, before she forcefully shoved him out of her mind.
He reeled back. It was him. She was thinking about him, and she felt confused about her emotions, just as he did. He had caught glimpses of her inner dialogue, sentences like "His eyes are so dark and captivating. What are his deepest wishes and desires?" turning over again and again in her head.
The fact that she was wondering about him almost the exact same way he was about her scared Severus. This meant that he had to come to terms about their complicated relationship. Reality dawned on him – I have no idea what to do about this woman.
Hermione appeared to be oblivious to the fact that he had just penetrated her mind. "Is something wrong, Severus?"
"I'm obviously very busy, Hermione, and I apologize for that. I hope to talk more tomorrow," he said distantly. She took this as her cue to leave.
"A-Alright. Goodbye."
…
Hermione took her seat at dinner next to Severus, smiling at his under her lashes. I do hope I'm not making a fool of myself.
The mp3 played quietly in the background.
Love is crazy, pretty baby
Take it real slow, my feelings show
All you have to do is never ever let it go
My feelings show, and I want you to know
Hermione wasn't quite sure who the song belonged to. By the way Pince and Filch were goggling at one another, anyone could have guessed it was one of theirs.
I'm sorry it's taking me so long
To find out what I'm feeling
I wonder if it will come to me
Maybe not, maybe not…
Hermione felt that the song represented her own feelings too. I wonder when Severus will have a song play again. I hope it's about me…
At that moment, Professor McGonagall stood up abruptly to make an announcement.
"Students! May I please have your attention!"
The noise in the room died down immediately. "As many of you may know already, this year we will be participating in the Triwizard Tournament hosted by Durmstrang. Anyone who wishes to be a Triwizard Champion must put their name in the Goblet of Fire by December tenth."
As the headmistress went on to explain the tournament further, Hermione tuned her out, her thoughts focused on the intimidating man sitting beside her. She was almost certain that he had used Occlumency earlier that day. The thought was both terrifying and exhilarating.
Snape kept glancing up at Hermione, who appeared to be in somewhat of a daze. He held himself back from entering her mind. What was it about her that made it easier to slip into her head? Just looking into her eyes was enough to give him a glimpse of her inner thoughts and feelings. Right now, the distant look on her face made him long to converse with her and make her smile.
She turned around. The look on Snape's face told her all she needed to know.
"…As is custom, the Yule Ball will be held on December 15, the last day of term."
The Headmistress finally sat back down. "The Yule Ball?" Hermione wondered aloud. "I remember that night well…"
Snape's hands clenched.
"Ah, I remember as well! Didn't you go with the world-renowned Seeker, Viktor Krum?" Professor Flitwick asked excitedly.
"I did. It was so much fun. Say, Professor, can us professors go to the Ball, too?"
"Of course! We'll need plenty of chaperones to make sure students are on their best behavior. Have you seen the way kids dance nowadays?" said Professor McGonagall.
"Oh, yes, I believe it is called 'grinding,' professor," Professor Flitwick chimed in.
Hermione looked at Snape. Please ask me. Please ask me.
Why was she looking at him expectantly? Was he supposed to ask her to the Ball? Was that too cliché? Oh, what the hell. He gazed deeply into her eyes and found the answers to his questions there.
Yes, she wanted him to ask her. She felt quite strongly about it, too.
"Did you just use Occlumency on me?"
"Yes." Better to be honest. "And I want to take you to the Yule Ball."
Hermione's jaw dropped. "You're being serious?"
"Yes."
"If this turns out to be some sort of joke…"
"Do I often 'joke,' Hermione?"
"Well, no."
"Alright then." He took a sip of his pumpkin juice, as if he hadn't just completely shook up Hermione's world.
"Why?" she blurted out.
"Why what?"
"Why do you want to go with me?"
He contemplated his response. "Because," he replied slowly, "I enjoy your company, as I have told you before."
Her breath caught in her throat. "O-okay, um, thanks."
He smiled. She wanted nothing more in that moment than to kiss him. Or, at the very least, grab his hand under the table. She settled for the latter.
He sputtered his drink when he felt her hand on his beneath the table. Surprised, he glanced up at Hermione, who was smiling in such a sweet and innocent way that took his breath away.
He continued to smile for the rest of the night.
…
"Did you see how they were looking at one another at dinner? How adorable!" gushed Professor Sprout. She and the other female professors were making their way down the corridor adjacent to the Great Hall, lost in conversation about new love blossoming at Hogwarts.
"First Irma and Argus, and now Severus and Hermione!" exclaimed Madam Pomfrey. "It must be the holidays. Everyone is cozier around this time of year." Madam Pince blushed profusely.
Hermione stood inside her empty classroom setting up a radio system for tomorrow's class. When she heard her name being mentioned down the hall, she muttered an incantation to amplify the noise.
"…He actually asked her to the ball?! How do you know?"
"Well, wasn't it obvious? I'll make bets with you ladies that Severus and Hermione will be at the Yule Ball together come Friday night," challenged the Headmistress.
"Deal."
"Now, if only Filius would ask me…" Professor Sprout said dreamily.
"So, they're betting on us, huh?" Hermione laughed to herself. She had never thought anyone would imagine Severus and herself together, not even her. The mere thought of him made her sigh happily. Sure, he was rough on the outside, but perhaps this was a defense mechanism. She knew that he had a beautiful heart underneath it all. "And I'll be one of the only ones to see it," she said, filled with hope.
Sitting down at her desk with a cup of tea, Hermione decided to write to her good friends, Harry and Ron. The two men lived very busy lives as Aurors, so she didn't get to spend much time with them. I wonder if they'll understand my current predicament. Only one way to find out, I suppose.
She opened the desk drawer and shuffled around for parchment and a quill.
Harry and Ginny,
I hope all is well with you two! I've had a decent fall term so far here at Hogwarts. The students are hardly giving me any trouble at all, which is quite refreshing. The Yule Ball is coming up soon, and I hope to see you both there! I know Professor McGonagall will all but beg you to come.
I know Ginny is excelling at Quidditch, but how is the Auror business, Harry? I often wonder about how much danger you and Ronald are put in every day. I worry about you two as if we were all still reckless kids. Please tell your family "hi" for me, although I am about to write to Ron as well. Do be careful fighting bad wizards, and I hope to see you all soon!
P.S. I have a new romantic interest that I long to tell you about, but fear that you may faint when you hear who it is. Come to the ball and I will disclose all details then, and only then!
With love,
Hermione
She formed a similar letter and addressed it to Ron.
…
Severus paced back and forth in his study. "What a foolish thing to do! Why did I ask her? Why?"
A stack of ungraded papers were skewed atop his desk. His bed needed a good making up badly, and there were clothes covering his floor. "I need to get ahold of myself."
His life was certainly taking a turn – for the better or worse, he wasn't sure. On the one hand, Hermione was half his age, beautiful, brave, and intelligent. On the other…well, he couldn't possibly give her everything she wanted in a man, could he?
Severus stopped himself from running into the bed post. A distant musical sound made him whip around and face the door. "It's just her stupid Muggle music player," he reminded himself.
Hello, tell me you know, yeah you've figured me out
Something gave it away
It would be such a beautiful moment to see the look on your face,
To know that I know that you know now
And baby that's a case of my wishful thinking,
You know nothing…
"Is this mine?" he wondered aloud.
Meanwhile, Hermione sat on the floor holding the mp3 up to her door. If he is close enough, I can hear his emotions through this! Serves him right for using Occlumency on me! She thought with a giggle.
After deadpanning and settling her mind to a blank state, she had held the device up and got an immediate response.
Well all I really want to do is love you,
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me
"How sweet!" Hermione gushed. She was beginning to feel less and less unsure of Severus' feelings towards her. "He must really like me."
Ten feet away with his ear against the door, Severus shouted several obscenities before walking to the very back room in his quarters. The song cut out abruptly.
…
A school barn owl tapped on Hermione's window at three in the morning. She opened the window hastily, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
The letter from Harry and Ginny was short:
Hermione,
Of course we'll be there for the ball! We can't wait to hear all about this new love interest of yours. Talk to you soon!
XOXO
Harry and Ginny Potter
Hermione smiled. As the opened the letter from Ron, however, her smile quickly faded.
Hermione,
I wish I could make it to the ball, but I don't have a date. I was going to ask you, but seeing that you have a "love interest" now, I won't bother. Hope you all have a ruddy good time.
Ron
"Ugh!" she crumpled the parchment and threw it in the corner. "How utterly absurd and childish!"
Hermione decided against going back to sleep. She couldn't believe that her best friend, whom she hadn't seen in ages, was acting like such a baby. If only he knew who I was going with, he'd probably faint.
Oh well. Perhaps it was better for him not to show up after all. This was going to be a special night for Hermione, and no one was going to ruin it.
…
"Have you started settin' up fer it yet?" Hagrid asked Professors McGonagall and Granger. The three were sitting inside Hagrid's hut the following evening, having been invited to tea with him. The other professors were invited as well, but most were busy with end-of-term preparations. Minerva and Hermione were the most organized at Hogwarts. "I finished my lesson plans for the rest of the term, and then some!" Hermione announced proudly.
While the three teachers were catching up and relaxing, Severus decided to take a stroll around the lake. He would stop by Hagrid's on the way back to Hogwarts, but he needed some time alone to think first.
He walked around the parameter of the lake, kicking rocks into the water. This place held such terrible memories, and yet, it was the only serene place to go when he wanted to get away from the noise and bustle of students. Irony at its finest.
He thought about Hermione, of course. He also thought of Lily Potter and her untimely death. He thought of his unfair upbringing, and of his miraculous escape from death.
After about twenty minutes, Severus made his way toward Hagrid's hut. It was welcoming and familiar, but Severus didn't want to linger here too long. He walked toward the giant door and heard distant voices coming from inside.
"Excellent, dear! How is everything else coming along?"
"Everything…else?" Hermione grew nervous. "Everything is fine."
"Are you thinking of going to the ball?"
Hermione cut her eyes. Having heard McGonagall and the other female professors talking in the hallway the other day, Hermione knew exactly what the Headmistress was up to. She decided to have a bit of fun with it.
"Not really. I might be going out of town, actually."
"Really?" Professor McGonagall was stunned. Hermione bit her lip to stop from smiling. "But I was sure you were going with Severus."
Hermione laughed in response. "Severus? Why on Earth would I go with him?"
Severus' hand was paused mid-air where he had been about to knock. Was she serious? He heard malice in her voice and wondered if it was directed at him. Perhaps she didn't want to go to the ball with him. Perhaps she had been lying and toying with his emotions all this time.
He dropped his hand, turned around and began walking back to Hogwarts.
…
A/N: They are both SO stubborn, are they not?! Anyway, the songs in order are Feelings Show by Colbie Calliat and If it Kills Me by Jason Mraz.