Hermione and Professor McGonagall finished up at Hagrid's around ten o'clock that night. "Come over anytime!" he shouted over the artic winds that had begun to blow late that evening. The ground was blanketed with fresh snow. Hermione buried her hands deep inside her overcoat.
"Christmastime is upon us, indeed!" the Headmistress shouted over the wind.
Hermione tried to smile, but her face remained frozen in place by the cold.
Once they were finally back inside, Hermione practically ran to her room in order to unfreeze her limbs. "Goodnight, professor!" she shouted down the hall. Less than a second later, Severus Snape's door swung open.
There the Potions Master stood, in his usual daunting robes, soaking wet, with malice in his eyes. "Um, Severus?" Hermione offered. He remained silent.
He didn't know what the hell he was doing. It was completely unlike him to confront someone over something so petty as an overheard conversation; but this was personal. This was Hermione playing with his feelings. He wanted to tell her to leave him alone for good. Plus, the firewhisky added a certain brazenness to his actions.
"What's wrong?" She was alarmed. Snape looked dreadful – well, more dreadful than usual. Had he gotten sick from going outside? His robes were certainly soaked and freezing, that much she could tell. But if he had gone out, why hadn't he been at Hagrid's?
And then suddenly, without any warning whatsoever, he was kissing her. Hungrily, desperately. Hermione gasped in his mouth, enjoying every moment of this – whatever this was. His cold, damp robes rubbed against Hermione's skin, causing her to pull away. "Take those things off," she demanded.
They fell ungracefully into Hermione's room after Snape used magic to strip himself. Hermione was momentarily grateful that the freezing fabric was gone, but then realized that Severus Snape was half-naked in her room, wearing only a black t-shirt and boxers. How did this even happen? She wondered vaguely.
They were kissing again, leaning against her wooden bedframe. There was a certain urgency to everything Severus was doing – his hands clamoring over her body wildly, his tongue dancing with hers heatedly. In the back of her mind, Hermione knew with certainty that he had been drinking and that something had upset him deeply, and she needed to figure it out. After he threw her on the white, fluffy bed, Hermione gently pushed him away. Her robes were falling off her shoulders and her skirt was completely out of place. She blushed profusely.
"Severus. Please," she said, realizing her mistake the moment the words left her mouth. It sounds like I am begging for him, she thought. That isn't too far from the truth, but right now is neither the time nor the place.
"Please what?" he asked huskily.
"Please stop. We need to talk about this first."
He pulled back abruptly as if coming to his senses for the first time thus far. "I'm sorry, Hermione." How could I have been so stupid? He thought. She doesn't want you. She never wanted you.
"Severus, what's wrong?" Hermione had been observing the pained expression he wore. "Please tell me. Please."
"You have been toying with my emotions for your own entertainment, and I wish to put that to an end. Tell me how you really feel." Yes, this was definitely the firewhisky talking.
Hermione was shocked that Severus was being so direct with her. She recovered momentarily and sighed deeply before beginning. "I like you a lot, Severus. I enjoy fighting with you and flirting with you. Am I the reason you're upset?"
"Yes," he drawled.
"But why? We're going to the ball together, remember? I've been thinking about it nonstop!"
"Liar." Severus stood and walked to the other end of her bedroom. "I don't ever wish to speak to you again."
The door slammed shut behind him, leaving Hermione in a state of complete and utter confusion. Before she knew it, tears were streaming down her red cheeks. "Why doesn't he want me anymore? Oh, what could I possibly have done?!" She grabbed a pillow off her bed and squeezed it tight. The pain came in waves – it was unbearable.
After a good twenty minutes of crying, Hermione lifted herself up and wiped her face. "Time to resolve this. I'm not going to mope about all day because of a simple misunderstanding." At least, that's what she hoped it was. She grabbed the quill and parchment that remained on her bedside table and began to think, compartmentalizing the pain. Focus.
She scribbled down the following:
He thinks you don't want him. Why?!
You haven't been direct enough with your feelings.
You pushed him away when he was drunk and on top of you. Which was obviously the natural thing to do.
Oh. Oh. Wait a minute.
HE OVERHEARD YOU AT HAGRID's!
She dropped the quill and paper abruptly and ran across the hall to Severus' room. It was locked, of course, and she all but broke down the door trying to get in.
"SEVERUS! No, you don't understand! I was messing with McGonagall! She made a bet with the other professors, and I didn't want to give them the satisfaction of betting on us, and oh, please listen to me!"
But there was no response. Hermione continued to pound on the door, convinced that she would eventually dent the wood in if she didn't give it a rest. The tears were freshly falling once again.
"Please," she cried weakly. So this was it. There was no more hope for gaining his trust or building a relationship. Severus Snape was gone as quickly as he had come into her life.
No. I won't give up. Hermione turned on her heel and marched straight down to Professor McGonagall's office.
…
"Hermione? Good to see you again," the professor said inquisitively. It was, after all, nearly eleven o'clock, and the two had gotten home from Hagrid's less than an hour ago. Not to mention that Hermione's eyes were red and swollen, and she was wearing her dingiest Muggle set of sweats.
"Please, professor, I need your help."
The Headmistress waved her hand and Hermione stepped into the room. Hermione had only been in here twice before. It was much larger than her own and the furniture was all mahogany. Very sophisticated.
"What do you need my help with, dear?" the older professor asked as the two sat down on her living area couch.
"I heard you talking with some other professors earlier this week about how you were betting on Severus taking me to the ball," she began hastily. No time for good manners. "So, being the proud witch that I am, I refused to give you the satisfaction of betting on the two of us like we were circus animals." Hermione's anger was beginning to shine through. "When we were all in Hagrid's hut earlier, I pretended like there was no way I would go to the ball with Severus, which was a complete lie. And I think he overheard, and now he wants nothing to do with me…" She buried her face in her hands.
"Oh, dear…" Minerva put her arm around Hermione. "I'm terribly sorry, Hermione. The other professors and I meant no harm, I can assure you of that. I'll make this right, don't you worry."
Hermione simply nodded her head and stood from the couch.
"Tomorrow at breakfast," the Headmistress promised.
"Yes, that would be perfect. Thank you."
…
Severus had passed out in his office chair nearly half an hour ago. He awoke abruptly to the pungent smell of alcohol mixed with sour clothes.
Only one coherent thought passed through his mind: Hermione.
What had he done to her? He had been a blithering idiot, that was for sure. What possessed him to drink in the first place? Oh, right, he thought, bitterly remembering the incident at Hagrid's house. All had gone according to plan – the confrontation, that is – until he practically pounced on her in his blind lust. What the hell is wrong with me!?
He was sure that she would never forgive him again. He wouldn't even forgive himself. Closing his eyes, Severus downed the last of the bottle of firewhisky, slipping into a dreamless sleep once more.
…
Hermione couldn't sleep that night. She rolled over in bed more times than she could count, and ended up being so distracted by the snowfall outside her bedroom window that she resolved to stay awake.
For some reason, Hermione was itching to get her Muggle music player back out from the dresser drawer. It had been a little while since she had last listened to it, and if she was perfectly honest with herself, she actually wanted to hear her jumbled emotions right now. It might help me figure some things out, she thought.
After flipping on the tiny device, a slow song began to fill the room.
Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor.
Reaching for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?
For me it happens all the time.
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without.
I just need you now.
"A duo," whispered Hermione dreamily.
Severus awoke in his chair for the second time that night. He heard the music player blaring in her room. Irritated, he stood and was about to mutter "muffilato" when he heard the lyrics.
Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door.
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?
For me it happens all the time.
It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without.
I just need you now.
Severus stepped into the hallway silently, facing Hermione's closed door.
Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without.
I just need you now
I just need you now.
Oh, baby, I need you now.
The two unknowingly closed their eyes and sighed at the same time. Then, as if defeated, they crawled into their respective beds and fell fast asleep, images of one another filling their every unconscious thought.
…
Hermione awoke the next morning with her eyes burning. "Oh, bother. That's what I get for blubbing all night."
Remembering that she would get to see Severus at breakfast, Hermione quickly showered and dressed in her finest dark blue robes. Tying her curly hair back in a low ponytail, she smiled in the mirror, satisfied. McGonagall had better keep her promise today.
Hermione strode down the hall, the crisp air surrounding the bare skin of her legs. She greeted several Gryffindor students along the way to the Great Hall. Odd for them to be up at such an early hour, she thought, until she realized it was the last day to enter names into the Goblet of Fire for the Triwizard Tournament.
She rounded the corner and stopped when she heard her name. "I swear I heard them fucking the other night!"
"No way! Not Professor Granger!" She heard a second boy whine.
"Not like you had a chance with her anyway, Blake. She's, like, twenty-five."
"Ahem!" Hermione cleared her throat. Three boys immediately jumped to their feet, knocking a few books over in the process.
"Professor Granger!"
"Detention, Mr. Blake, for spreading false rumors about professors!"
"Is that even a rule?"
"Yes. Besides, you were blatantly cursing, which is also an offense. Detention with me tomorrow night."
The boy groaned and walked off. Hermione shook her head violently and made her way into the dining hall.
…
"Hermione! Good to see you!" the Headmistress shouted with fake enthusiasm. Great, she's going to ruin everything.
Hermione was at least relieved to see Severus seated at the High Table. She was almost certain he was going to be a no-show this morning due to the events that took place last night.
As she took her usual seat next to him, he scoffed. No matter. He'll know the truth in no time.
Hermione threw her mp3 on the table, as was tradition at this point in the semester. The Headmistress wasted no time in explaining herself. "I have already told Severus briefly about the misunderstanding. He refuses to believe me, though."
"We are so very sorry for being nosy, you two. Severus, please make up with Hermione!" Professor Sprout shouted across the table. Severus rolled his eyes. Does she not realize that she is being nosy at this very moment?
After the table split off into various conversations once more, Hermione turned to Severus with her heart in her throat. "Severus, I swear, I can explain. Please listen to me."
All our secrets they are tailored trouble
Draped loose now around your hips
Your spotless instincts are valid
We coexist
Got 26 days to work with
We got 26 days to work with
We'll see what all gets done
I'm an addict for dramatics
I confuse the two for love
"You can tell me that you don't beg..."
Liar (liar)
If we're keeping score
We're all choir boys at best
(Intrusive and arrogant)
The Potions Professor smiled smugly, hiding the ache that resided in his heart.
"Come on, Severus! Just listen to what I have to say, and then you'll never have to speak to me again!"
"Is that a promise?"
Hermione's eyes began to water. Oh no, I didn't mean to make her cry.
She watched as his facial expression softened tremendously. The song playing in the background changed immediately.
In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun...
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed... she said
You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
She said you don't know me, and you don't wear my chains
"Hermione. Look at me."
She lifted her eyes up to his. Yes, she had been crying all night, indeed. Severus mentally slapped himself for causing this beautiful woman so much distress.
"I'm sorry. I will listen to what you have to say."
Hermione repeated the story for the second time in less than twelve hours, adding in details about McGonagall's bet that the Headmistress had left out when she told Snape earlier.
"I see. You were simply trying to keep the meddlers from meddling." Now he felt even stupider than before. She does want you, you dimwit.
"Exactly."
"But should I take this to mean that you are…say, ashamed of our complicated relationship?"
Hermione was taken aback. "Not at all! I really like you, Severus. Truly."
Severus didn't need to use Occlumency to see that she was telling the truth. If only she knew what emotions she was stirring up deep within his soul. Merlin, he wanted her so badly. His strong desire fueled by firewhisky from the night before still hadn't gone away. Could she see it in his eyes?
The mood at the table had changed dramatically in a matter of seconds.
Hermione giggled. I love that thoughtful expression of his. It makes me wonder what he is thinking about…
She traveled into her own daydream world, thinking of how Severus' half-naked body looked the night before. Yes, he was soaking wet and drunk, but his unhindered passion and boldness had made her ache for him. Did he still want her like that, or was it a spur of the moment decision? Knowing Severus, he probably felt guilty for it. At that moment, she almost wished he would use Occlumency on her so he would know how badly she wanted him.
I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby
But you keep fronting
Saying what you goin' do to me
But I ain't seen nothing
Oh God, Hermione thought. Oh no.
The professors stopped ceased their conversations at once. Professor McGonagall simply stared at Hermione with wide eyes.
Typical
Hardly the type I fall for
I like when the physical
Don't leave me asking for more
I'm a sexy mama
Who knows just how to get what I wanna
What I want to do is spring this on you
Back up all of the things that I told you
You've been saying all the right things all night long
But I can't seem to get you over here to help take this off
Baby, can't you see?
How these clothes are fitting on me
And the heat coming from this beat
I'm about to blow
I don't think you know
The Headmistress switched the mp3 off, earning a hall full of whines and protests. "That was, like, the first good song that's played all month!" a Slytherin girl cried.
Hermione buried her face in her hands. Oh God. Avada Kedavra me now.
The Headmistress tried, and failed miserably, to stifle her giggle. Before long, the entire table was shaking with laughter.
"What's got them all stirred up?" Severus heard one of the students say. If only they knew. Severus had to admit that the filthy song that just played, courtesy of the humiliated witch next to him, was highly arousing. Sighing, he realized she was still embarrassed and refused to make eye contact with him or the rest of the table.
"Alright, alright. Leave Miss Granger alone."
Eventually, the High Table came back to their senses and forgot about the incident altogether. Hermione's face was still buried in her arms.
"Hermione."
"No."
"Do you recall last night?"
At this, her head popped up, just as Severus expected. He grinned with satisfaction.
"I have much more to be embarrassed about than you."
"No, you don't! I was the only one there last night. You didn't have your lust put on display for the entire school."
"To be fair, no one but the professors knows of the mp3's magical properties."
"Except a few Gryffindors. Yeah, I suppose you're right." She straightened her back with dignity and finished eating.
"Oh, and about last night?" she asked Severus as they stood up to leave.
"Yes?" he replied nervously.
"Let's do it again. Only this time, without soaking wet clothes or firewhisky."
Her words sent chills down his spine. "As you wish."
…
Hermione ran into Daniel Willoughby as she exited the hall.
"Professor Granger! I heard the Muggle music player change in the middle of a song multiple times tonight. It isn't broken, is it?"
She smirked. "No, Daniel. It's working perfectly fine."
…
A/N: Keep in mind that this story is rated M for sexy stuff later on! Also, Ray Thompson is going to reappear in the next chapter, for those of you wondering where he is. A side note: Sorry about the different formatting of the song lyrics in the last chapter. I can't seem to figure out how to fix them!
Songs in order are: Need You Now by Lady Antebellum, Liar by Three Days Grace, Boston by Augustana, and Buttons by PCD.