Note: Thank you guys so much for the reviews, follows and all that good stuff. I know I haven't updated and i'm so sorry for that. I've been busy but i'm here now. I'll be posting more often now regardless of reviews but they are a bit encouraging. If there's something you guys want to see or want me to try and incorporate or even any speculations as to where you think this is going please leave a review. I'd love to hear it!
Just so you know, memories are in italics AND bold lettering.
Warning: This chapter is a little dark and triggering so beware.
Chapter 3: I'll be gone
"I pull the road off of the rise
tear the memories from my eyes
and in the morning I'll be gone.."- Tom Waits "I'll be gone"
Beth didn't know how long they were walking. All she could remember was Daryl's blow up. It replayed in her head over and over. She couldn't get the image of him cutting their emotional ties out. She wanted to scream. She wanted to yell at him for being unreasonable. For not understanding her clearly. For not caring to even let her speak her mind. She wanted to cry. Cry for her sister, cry for her daddy. She wanted to cry for Daryl and his lost loved ones. She wanted to hide and never come back. She wanted to punch herself in the face for being so damn stupid and immature. He had treated her like an adult and showed his weakness and in turn she acted just like a child would if they were pretending to be an adult. Beth has officially failed her one and only job. Daddy do you hate me now..?
Allowing Daryl to walk ahead of her slowly, Beth quietly and as stealthy as possible, went in the opposite direction. She left her knife and gun on the trail behind her as she began to sprint away. What Daryl didn't know wouldn't hurt. She needed to escape. For one second. She needed to breathe. As she ran, Beth could feel the way the oxygen left her lungs in heavy pants. It hurt to breathe like that. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't seem to stop the pain that clenched around her heart as she inhaled. Maybe she was slowly dying? That would be beautiful. No need to hold Daryl back more than he needed. He had enough on his plate. Making sure she ran as far as she could, Beth looked around the area and noticed a small house in the near distance. Maybe she could sneak in there and die from hunger? Maybe there was a walker family in there waiting to eat.
"It's better than nothing.."
Stepping closer to the house, Beth noticed there was no signs of life. Nothing misplaced and the ground seemed undisturbed. Apparently no one has made it through here. Stepping onto the porch quietly, the blonde made her way inside. She honestly wanted to bury herself. How could she lose Judith? A baby? She couldn't care for a child so she was clearly not fit to survive in this world. Walking around the house, Beth made her way upstairs and to what seemed like a master bedroom. Allowing her blue eyes to scan over the room, she locked her gaze onto some rope. Rope..? what if..?
"I tie myself below the deck
I pull the rope around my neck
and in the morning I'll be gone.."
Daryl inwardly cursed as he turned and saw no Beth. "What the fuck? Beth where are ya? This ain't funny kid." Turning around, Daryl was sure he'd go dizzy from constantly checking around himself. No Beth. A slight feeling of panic started to rise from the pit of his stomach. He knew something was wrong. He knew he shouldn't have said that but he was mad. He didn't wish for the girl to run off. She was all he had left. Retracing his steps, the redneck examined her small footprints. Suddenly a tight feeling clenched his heart as the worse possible scenarios crawled through his head. No.. she's going ta be okay.. she's not going ta do anything stupid.
Running as fast as he could, Daryl followed her trail and huffed as the crossbow made it ten times worse. Exhausted, hungry and on the verge of tears, Daryl allowed himself to call out in fear. "BETH!" Fear was the only thing he got as a response and in that moment, Daryl felt like he lost everything. He has truly ended up alone in this world.
"Ah little brother, they're not blood. They're gonna realize what you are and then they're gonna scrape ya off their heels like dog shit. Yer never gonna be one of them little brother. Now get yer pussy self together and move on."
Daryl could hear Merle's taunting voice in his head playing with his sanity. He knew Beth wouldn't run off to ditch him. She couldn't survive without him. Could she? Shaking his head, Daryl licked his awfully chapped lips and hollered out once more in hopes to get a better response.
"BETH! WHERE ARE YA GIRL?!"
Daryl has never felt smaller in his life. He was hollering out for a girl. Some girl he met at least 2 years ago? he didn't fucking know. She just waltzed into his life and he in turn took it upon himself months later to check up on her and lil asskicker. Covering his face, Daryl shook as the memories started to flood in.
"Juju! I'm coming to get you!" Beth laughed softly as she watched the little baby start to crawl. Daryl sat on the steps to the common room and watched as the little girl tried crawling away from Beth.
"Pretty soon she's going ta come on a run wit us." Inwardly cursing himself, Daryl quietly continued to peel the apple in his hand as he avoided Beth's looks.
"Us? You're going to take me on a run Daryl?" He could hear the teasing in her voice and huffed in feigned annoyance.
"Watch what yer askin' fer cowgirl. Ain't nothin' pretty on a run. No sunblock, horses, summer dresses or flowers."
Smiling softly, Beth bent down and lifted Judith into her arms carefully. "Don't listen to him Juju. He's always a little grumpy after he compliments someone or shows interest."
"Watch yer mouth girl. Don't be assumin' I wanna go somewhere wit ya."Nodding quietly, Beth looked over at Daryl and smiled softly.
"Come on mister grumpy pants. Juju needs a diaper change."
"Oh no princess I ain't no nanny. I can't do that. Gotta go fer watch. Already wasted enough time wit ya two."
Laughing softly, Beth allowed Judith to blow an awfully wet kiss in Daryl's direction. Walking up to the hunter, she balanced herself on her tiptoes and placed a soft kiss to his rough chin.
"Thank you.. For everything you do for us." With that said, the blonde girl turned and left to her cell to tend to baby Judith.
Daryl stumbled over to a vacant house and fell onto the porch. He huffed and wheezed as he couldn't stop the flood gates. He wasn't one to cry but his sanity was being toyed with and everything he had under control was now out of his grasp. He wanted to scream, cry out, yell but he couldn't. His throat was parched and his head was spinning. Daryl wanted to give up until he heard something fall. Jumping up in a panicked frenzy, the gruff man bolted inside the house on a whim. Following his gut, he quickly ascended the steps and made his way to the second floor. Running into the room nearest to the stairs, Daryl hollered out.
"Show yerself! I ain't in the mood to negotiate! Let's go!"
Walking out of the room, Daryl squinted as he saw a room with a semi open door. Inching towards it, he saw the door was blocking his view of a chair that was clearly kicked down on its side. Feeling the hair on his arms rise, Daryl pushed the door open only to feel his blood drain. Licking his suddenly dry lips, Daryl bolted in the room as everything seemed to slow down. Quickly making his way to the closet, he frantically lifted Beth's motionless body.
"Beth, Beth... No no no no Beth please no.." Quickly moving his body under hers, Daryl grabbed his knife and easily cut the rope that hung from the bar in the closet. He viciously tore the rope from the girl's neck before hoisting her up.
"Stay with me Beth. STAY WITH ME!"
Taking her to the bathroom, Daryl placed her in the tub. Turning on the tap, he thanked god for the cold spray of water. He allowed it to drench the teenager as he shook her.
"Wake up. Don't you fucking do this ta me girl." Smacking her face, his body went into overdrive as he shook from fear and the cold water. Getting in the tub himself, Daryl hugged the lifeless blonde as a pitiful cry slipped from his lips. He lost her. The last thing he had left. Merle was right, he wasn't one of them. If he was, he would have died too. Now he was alone in a cruel world with nothing to call his own.
"I tie myself below the deck
I pull the rope around my neck
and in the morning I'll be gone.."
Daryl cried hard and long. He cried in fury, in pain, in discomfort, in rebellion to his former self. Nothing could ease his pain and nothing could forgive how pathetic he's become. All the while berating himself, the broken man failed to notice the shiver that Beth's body produced. She felt his face buried against her neck. She felt the way his arms crushed her ribs in a painful grasp. She felt the burn from the rope that previously hugged her pale neck in an invitation to death. She could feel his pain through his sounds and she knew, she messed up. Weakly trying to open her eyes, Beth failed and simply settled with a whisper.
"It's so cold.."
Well there you guys have it! Not the best chapter but it's what I can work with now. I'm trying to fix my transitions and elongate the time between each event. I still feel like everything's happening in a dance routine form. 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 blah blah blah. It feels stiff to me. Eh I don't know. I apologize for typos that I and the spell check missed if that's possible haha. Let me know what you guys think!