Note: Thank you all for the encouraging words! I'll try to apply the things i've been suggested to my work.
OH! When Beth sings, it will be quoted but not in italics. The quoted and italicized lyrics are just setting the mood and are mainly there to remind you of the emotion around them at the time. (Y'all probably think I should learn how to set the mood without lyrics and I will I promiseeee)
AN: As we seen in the last few chapters, Daryl and Beth are on the run since the prison's demise. They had a part-time fall out which led Beth to try to take her life for the second time in the apocalypse. Daryl has found her hanging from a closet in an abandoned house and he tried resurrecting her through a cold shower and helpless pleas. Unbeknownst to him, she's actually alive.
Chapter 4: Hold on
"They hung a sign up in out town, if you live it up, you won't
live it down. So, she left Monte Rio, son,
Just like a bullet leaves a gun." -Tom Waits
"It's so cold.."
Those simple words in the form of a whisper gave Daryl hope. Looking at the blonde in his arms, he looked over her features as if trying to mentally imprint them so he could never forget them. He cupped her face and stroked her cheeks as he watched her tremble. She was cold but he couldn't take her to warmth yet. He didn't want this to be a figment of his imagination. His calloused fingers stroked her pale lips as a hard frown etched over his features. His face showed his visible discomfort with the intimacy but it also showed the deep worry he carried over his shoulders.
Beth wanted to speak, she wanted to tell him that she was sorry but deep down.. she wasn't. She had nothing left. Not even him. What was the point of her being alive only to live alone? Allowing herself to get lifted out of the tub, Beth couldn't muster the strength to hold on so she dangled off his strong arms. She exhaled heavily to re-alert him of the awful life rushing through her. She saw the weak strained smile that grazed his dry lips and all she could do was turn her gaze elsewhere.
Daryl placed the girl on the bed that was located in the room outside of the bathroom. He cleared his throat and whispered, almost inaudible. "There's.. clothes in there ya can check out.. I'll um, gather our stuff and secure the area.." Daryl made a move to leave but a small pale hand wrapped around his wrist and he wanted to flinch. He really did but he couldn't. He remained silent as he heard her take a breath before speaking.
"Help me change.. please?" She sounded so broken and useless but Daryl felt his anxiety rise and he couldn't help the fight or flee feeling in his gut. Swallowing thickly, he tugged his wrist away and walked over to the dark wooden dresser. Opening the drawers, he dug through them in search for clothing that would fit the small blonde. With shaking hands, he grabbed some underwear and a t-shirt. He rummaged around for some pants and settled on a pair of shorts. She'd have to bundle up for the night while her jeans dried so the shorts would have to do.
Slowly making his way to her, he acknowledged the purplish ring forming around her neck where the cursed rope once gripped greedily at her flesh. Frowning, Daryl placed the clothing on the bed and shook his head. "I need to get our things. I'll be right outside, scream if ya need me.." With that said, Daryl sped walked out of the room and out of the house. Letting go of the breath he didn't know he was holding, the man bit at the skin around his nail in contemplation. He knew he had to get her weapons. He would be playing it stupid if he didn't. He'd also be playing it safe if he stayed here with her. Thinking over the situation once more, Daryl grabbed his crossbow and hurried back the way he came from.
Beth watched him leave through the window of the bedroom. She knew he was coming back but the urge to stop him made her want to cry. She was so dependent and so useless. Stripping herself of her wet clothing, Beth slipped on the new clothing. It was awkward to wear others clothing but in a world where the dead would eat you without hesitation, personal possessions were bumped down to only people and memories. She pushed her wet hair behind her shoulders as she exited the room. She needed to take a look to see if anything left was useful. She slowly examined each room and collected baby clothing, hygiene products and clothing for men. Apparently the family that once lived here had enough money to have two bedrooms for parents. That was unless they were going through a divorce and wanted to stay in the same house for the sake of their kids. Thinking about kids and seeing their family portraits, Beth felt her heart break at the thought of Judith. Oh how she missed the small girl. She missed her terribly and needed to find her. If anything she knew Daryl could care for her. Much better than she could at least.
Going back to the main room, she placed the items on the bed and proceeded downstairs. She examined the living room and located a small fire-place that would do good for them with the lack of heat provided in the rest of the house. Her eyes located the kitchen and she saw a small door next to it. Opening it cautiously, she noticed the shelves and cans littering it here and there. A pantry. The last time she saw a pantry was at her house on the farm. Boy was their pantry big. Gathering all the cans of beans, soup, vegetables and other foods, Beth took them to the kitchen and placed them in an old shopping bag. Placing the bag on the table if they needed a quick escape, Beth began digging through the cupboards.
Her digging was quiet due to months of stealthily raiding places to survive. She almost didn't notice Daryl walk in and close the door. If it wasn't for the sound of the crossbow hitting the ground, she would have continued looking.
"Oh hey, you're back.."
"O'course i'm back. Think I got anywhere else ta be?" Inwardly wincing, Daryl knew he should have sounded a little nicer. To his surprise, Beth smiled and nodded.
"We have some food here for maybe about a week? I figured if we boarded up we could stay here till we figure out a plan to find Judith and the others.."
He could tell she was skeptical about their survival but she had reason to be. He was determined to find them but the urgency seemed to slowly diminish the more reality set it. Looking over her, he couldn't help but take in the way she looked. If the world wasn't as fucked up and if Daryl was younger and actually worthy of love, the scene would almost look intimate. Beth could've passed as his beautiful girlfriend after a shower. She looked so fresh and young yet her hands proved her experience as she easily began making a meal. It was almost perfect but there was a problem. She wasn't his and the world has gone to shit. She tried killing herself and he was a killer. He dirtied his hands and knew nothing of love and she dreamt of college years and beautiful relationships. He experienced hate from those closest to him and she gave love to those who needed it. What the fuck am I goin' on about..?
Beth was worthy of a life he couldn't give her and he was deserving of the pain he got when she was near and he rejected her kind words and subtle actions that signaled comfort. Daryl was in need of a cigarette but he knew that was his anxiety and mind getting the best of him. He dismissed himself with a quiet murmur. He'd like to think that he spoke loud enough and told her he was off to shower but he couldn't trust his voice. He didn't want to feel this way but he did and he knew he would for a long time.
As he walked away to shower, Beth couldn't help but sing the very song that reminded her of everything they had and everything they lost.
"With charcoal eyes and Monroe hips.
She went and took that California trip.
Well, the moon was gold, her hair like wind.
She said don't look back just
come on Jim."
She sang softly for herself but deep down she knew she wanted him to hear. Maybe it would help him release some pent-up emotions. Maybe it would help her finally realize that what once was could never be again. She scooped up the beans and placed them in two bowls along with some vegetables. She placed the bowls on the small table in the kitchen beside the bag and opened the fridge to examine its contents. She saw some things rotting like milk, so she'll have to clean that out tomorrow. She grabbed two bottles of water and placed them on the table as she gently used her foot to close the fridge door.
"Oh you got to
Hold on, Hold on
You got to hold on
Take my hand, I'm standing right here
You gotta hold on."
Daryl exhaled shakily as he stripped himself of his filthy clothing. He eagerly got in the shower and regardless of the cold temperature, he scrubbed hard enough to remove the dirt and scum from his skin. He almost scrubbed hard enough to welt some parts of his flesh but he didn't care. Things were slowly going back to normal, well as normal as things could be given their situation. In 10 minutes, he was out and dressed in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. He never was comfortable with sleeves but he needed his regular attire cleaned and this was as casual as he was willing to go. He felt exposed and vulnerable but he knew it had to be done. Following the scent of food, Daryl walked over to see the blonde standing in front of the sink, staring out the window. Grabbing a chair, Daryl walked over to the front door and jammed it under the knob. The sound yanked Beth from her state of daydreaming and she took a seat in front of her bowl.
Daryl walked over to the table and sat down only to tense some. The table was rather small so their knees were touching causing him to sit up straight. After a few moments of inner conflict, Daryl spread his legs further apart and sat lazily in the chair. His legs were now on either side of hers causing her small legs to rest between his. Her knees pressed against his thighs and his legs provided a strange comfort around her. She felt locked in and safe. Eating shakily, Beth glanced at him and continued to eat as she saw the war waging behind his eyes.
"Well, he gave her a dimestore watch And a ring made from a spoon.
Everyone is looking for someone to blame. But you share my bed, you share my name.
Well, go ahead and call the cops. You don't meet nice girls in coffee shops.
She said baby, I still love you. Sometimes there's nothin left to do."
"'S good."
"Yeah, it beats starving.. There's more in the pot if you'd like. I don't think my stomach could handle more than this portion regardless of my hunger."
"We gotta keep the portions small."
"Daryl eat. You deserve it. For everything you do.." Beth felt her hunger diminish so she gently poured her portion into his bowl. She watched him tense slightly before grabbing her wrist. Their eyes locked on each other for a while and she could tell he was silently begging her to stay. She knew the look of a kicked puppy and Daryl looked just like that. Getting up, Beth approached the older man and regardless of his tense position at the table, he didn't push her away when she caressed his cheek and whispered.
"Thank you Daryl. Thank you for everything back at the farm, the prison, here. Thank you for everything you've done and continue to do. I don't care who you were before this. You are a man of honor now and god has something beautiful coming your way."
"Oh you got to hold on, hold on, you got to hold on.
Take my hand, I'm standing right here,
you got to just hold on."
Nodding quietly, Daryl ate slowly focusing on her words. God ya say? If yer up there, keep yer warm arms around our friends if anything, watch over lil asskicker. I know I ain't one ta ask ya fer favors but Beth needs that little girl. Closing his eyes, Daryl couldn't help but miss the contact of her caring hands against his tormented skin.
"Well, God bless your crooked little heart St. Louis got the best of me.
I miss your broken-china voice
How I wish you were still here with me."
Walking over to the sink, Beth looked out the window and sighed before the words flowed from her lips once more. Those same words caused Daryl to stiffen and think about everything he lost and everything he had. He remembered what he never had before this and he now can see what he has at this very moment. Quietly, he listened to the voice that rivaled that of an angel but signified that of a girl who grew up in a god forsaken world.
"Well, you build it up, you wreck it down.
You burn your mansion to the ground.
When there's nothing left to keep you here, when you're falling behind in this
big blue world, Oh you go to hold on, hold on, you got to hold on.
Take my hand. I'm standing right here you got to hold on.
Down by the Riverside motel, it's 10 below and
falling by a 99 cent store she closed her eyes and started swaying.
But it's so hard to dance that way when it's cold and there's no music.
Well your old hometown is so far away.
But inside your head there's a record that's playing.
Song called hold on, hold on. You really got to hold on
Take my hand, I'm standing right here
And just hold on..."
Well there you have it. I know there's probably some mishaps here and there but i'm sorry. 3hrs of sleep guys. 3 but that isn't an excuse. I know I should be writing better and I tried so hard to smooth out the transitions. Review and let me know guys!