~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Ch4, Home

Jane leaned heavily on Frankie as they approached Maura's front door. "Here Frankie, I've got my house key in my coat pocket." She handed her keys over to Frankie. Maura was still at the car getting a few things they'd picked up from the store on the way home. Frankie unlocked the door and half carried Jane toward the living room sofa.

Jane could barely think. She was glad her brother helped her get to the house. She didn't feel like she was one hundred percent aware. Things were fuzzy to her, muddled. But she did remember her dog. "Hey, Frankie can you take Jo and keep her for a bit?" Jane paused to catch her breath. "I don't think Maura feels like taking care of me and walkin' Jo in this cold weather." She tried to take another breath. "I know I'm not gonna feel like getting out there to do it." She paused again thinking that the suspect really did a number on her. She hurt all over. "Jo's leash is on the hook."

She looked for the hook that should have been screwed into the wall holding Jo's leash. But it wasn't there where she expected it to be. There wasn't even a mark on the wall.

Frankie said, "Sure Jane, I think Ma's already picked up Jo from your place."

"What?" Jane's mind was still confused and let it go. She got distracted while she thought she must have misremembered putting that leash on the wall. But she was sure she'd installed that hook for Jo's leash months ago. Didn't she?

Maura followed behind lugging the shopping bags "Jane, you should go to the guest room so you can rest properly."

Jane immediately complained, "What? If I have to be in bed, why can't I just get in our bed? Are you demoting me because I allowed myself to be beaten down by a perp?"

Jane smiled a beguiling smile and Maura's eyes went again to Frankie's in confusion and concern that Frankie did not need to know of their regular sleepovers no matter how innocent, "Frankie, Jane needs to be in the guest room on the first floor for now so I can watch her more closely and still be doing things in the kitchen or living room."

Reluctantly, Jane let Frankie lead her to the first floor guest room. As they passed Maura, Jane stepped toward her and gave a light kiss to her cheek. Jane's voice was barely a whisper. "Thank you baby. I know you know what's best." Leaving a bewildered Maura, they entered the room and Jane turned to Frankie, "You'd think she'd want to be even closer to me after what happened Frankie." Jane carefully sat on the bed. "I guess my risk-taking has me in the doghouse now." She spoke to Frankie as if he knew they'd been married all along. Frankie was always her secret confidant. She had always told him everything, so even in her own dissociated state, she still knew he was her right hand man.

Frankie knew now that the gig was up after what he'd just witnessed. Maura was, by now, standing in the doorway. When he saw the fear and concern on Maura's face after she'd heard that little exchange, he thought better of his plan to start sharing what he now believed about their relationship with the world. There was a reason Maura and Jane didn't share their relationship before. It was not his place to do so now. He returned a look of concern and acknowledgement to Maura.

Maura mistook Frankie's conciliatory look as his own confusion at Jane's behavior. After they both helped to make sure Jane was settled and comfortable, Maura walked Frankie to the door.

"Maura, Jane's never been an easy patient. Ma knows that the most. You have your work cut out for you. But from the looks of things though, Jane might listen to you. You are a doctor after all." Frankie thought for a moment. "You are probably the best thing for her right now."

"I will do my best, Frankie. And yes, I am surprised she's been compliant so far. We will see how long that lasts."

"If you need help with anything, call, ok?" Frankie gave Maura a warm, supportive hug and left. Maura stood at the door watching his car pull away wondering just what that help may entail. She went to look in on Jane.

At the sound of the door latch to the guest room, Jane opened her eyes and looked at Maura. "C'mere, sweetie. Come sit with me." Maura walked in and sat at the edge of the bed. She reached to move the wisps of Jane's hair from her forehead to check the scrape and took an assessment of her lip and the growing dark and awful contusion to her jaw. Maura gently tilted Jane's face so she could see it better. "Jane, this is going to be a terrible bruise." Maura was glad Jane's jaw wasn't broken after all. Quietly, Jane half whispered, "Maura, c'mon, you know I've had worse."

Maura was aware that Jane had suffered injuries in the past, but she was not so certain that any were as serious as this one. Something was up with Jane.

Maura handed Jane the icepack to slow the swelling to Jane's jaw. "Here Jane, you should really keep this against your face. It will help." Jane took the ice pack and winced a bit as she pressed it to the side of her face. "Keep trying Jane, I know it hurts, but you really need to keep the swelling down." Maura moved her hands to check the wrapping around Jane's rib cage. "Is this too tight? Are you uncomfortable?"

Jane stared at Maura with a gleam in her eye, enjoying the doting attention. She took Maura's hand, pulled it to her lips and pressed a kiss to the palm, "I'm fine. It's fine Maur, really, thank you. There is no one on earth I trust more to take care of me." The softness in Jane's eyes startled Maura. She'd only seen that look on Jane's face when she was consoling family members after they'd lost a loved one. It struck her that Jane could be so gentle.

Not used to such affection and wondering why it was now streaming from Jane, Maura stood and pulled her hand casually away from Jane's reach, "Jane, a lot has happened today, you should try to get some sleep." Maura placed the water glass on the nightstand within closer reach to Jane and walked over to open the shopping bags that contained a bucket for Jane in case she needed it. She placed that and a towel beside the bed as well. "Jane I'll only be just out in the living room. You should call out if you need anything." Concealing her growing concern over Jane's strange behavior, Maura left the room.

Once Maura was outside of that guest room, she immediately dialed the number for her psychiatrist friend who specialized in head trauma.

Dr. Rachel Swen is famous for her analyses of psychobiological, emotional and psychosocial dimensions of severe head injury. She'd met Maura and formed a friendship years ago at a doctor's retreat. She has first-hand experience dealing with trauma and helping design trauma response strategies in Sri Lanka, the US, Indonesia and elsewhere. If anyone could help Maura to help Jane, this doctor could.

Maura walked out of earshot of Jane as she explained the situation to Dr. Swen, she revealed that Jane seemed to be showing much more physical closeness and intimacy and that her behavior was out of bounds from normal. She told her friend that Jane suggested that she get into "Our" bed and that somehow she thinks she lives here at Maura's house. The psychiatrist responded by describing the intricacy of the mental responses to such an injury and that Maura's best path would be to keep Jane as comfortable as possible and not bring attention to her apparent alternate reality. She described traumatic "dissociative" amnesia and that it is brought on by extreme stress as a way to let the brain escape from the stressor. "The head injury quite possibly may have allowed it to manifest itself in Jane's mind." She explained that Jane would eventually snap out of it, but in the meantime, Maura should go along to keep her calm and allow healing. "Present an environment as close to what she expects to have. Give her a chance to come back into her own. And, if Jane becomes in any way violent or a danger to herself, do not hesitate to have her removed to a facility. It may slow her healing, but they are better equipped to handle such situations." Dr. Swen knew of Maura's propensity to take things on as a challenge. "Maura, don't try to do all of this on your own. Enlist family and friends. Let them help you. Don't take this entire burden on yourself."

When Maura inquired as to the possible length of this recovery period the doctor replied only "It could last from three weeks to six months, in rare cases, the injured person never does recover their memory. And more often, even when the memory returns, some personality changes will remain with a person after such an injury. One never really can predict these cases." And finally, "Maura, please feel free to call me anytime. I will be traveling through the northeast in a few weeks, there is a conference in Bridgeport I plan to attend. I'd like to make plans to make the trip afterwards from Connecticut to see you and personally assess Jane's progress. Is that ok with you?"

"Of course, Rachel, I would love to see you. I am concerned about Jane. Your attention and expertise will be very welcome. I look forward to your visit." At that, the two women disconnected the call.

Maura sat silently after the conversation. She was bound and determined to see Jane through to recovery. She constructed a plan.

Her thoughts were interrupted as she heard Jane vomiting from the guest room. Jane was in for a rough ride, but Maura would stand by her through it all. She stood and went to check on Jane. Maura would find a way to help her. Isn't that what friends do?

Jane's broken rib hurt her deeply every time she wretched. Maura was aware of the pain that each bout of vomiting was causing Jane. For Jane's part, she played it off well, but Maura could read Jane's face even better than Angela could. And Maura knew that Jane's ribs would never begin to heal until Jane managed to move beyond this phase with the nausea.

Jane was beginning to perspire from the pain and Maura wiped her face with a cool damp towel trying to provide comfort as she could. She did care deeply for this woman, after all. She felt it now more than ever.

Maura made a call to Frankie and the plan was hatched. Frankie came through the back with two suitcases, a duffel bag, a small tortoise and glass cage as well as Jo's bed. He installed a hook just like the hook at Jane's house on the wall in the entryway where Jane had pointed earlier and hung Jo's extra leash there. He carried the suitcases upstairs and did as Maura instructed.

Maura was very clear that Frankie try to keep this entire arrangement quiet and the fewer people who knew the better. She intended to protect Jane from any embarrassment this may cause when Jane came back to reality and her memory returned to normal.

No one knew when that might happen, so the plan was to keep Jane away from as many people as possible for the duration. Maura called in a few favors and arranged with Jane's superiors to allow her some paid leave time. She called Angela and suggested that Jane needed peace and quiet for the immediate future and that she should keep her visits short and to a minimum. Even though Maura communicated very clearly to Angela, she knew that getting Angela to comply was going to be easier said than done.

Maura went to the living room where Frankie was placing some of Jane's personal items he had borrowed from her house. Maura walked to Frankie and spoke quietly. "Frankie, you are the only person I could have trusted to keep this quiet. Thank you for helping me. You know I'm not one to lie and trust me when I say that this is going to be extremely difficult."

Frankie looked at her and thought for a moment about the implications and fallout this could have for Jane if her fragility was revealed in the open, that she was not thinking clearly. He also considered how Jane would feel if her true feelings for Maura were released into the universe. Frankie knew of Jane's feelings for Maura. They had spoken in the past. Even now, Frankie hesitated to reveal them to Maura. "Maura, I'm with you all the way on this. I honestly thought that Jane had gotten over her fear and you two finally got together. I mean, that's what I thought when I heard and saw the two of you in the car and then here this afternoon. I thought you two were hiding your relationship because Jane is so private. You know, the talk around the station about Jane, you know, liking girls. She really hates that." Frankie looked away from Maura recognizing how serious the situation had become. "Maura, Jane has been in love with you for at least two years."

Maura gasped. "What?"

How could she not know?

"Frankie, no, we aren't, we haven't been...No, we are not in a relationship."

"I understand that now, Maura. And I understand where Jane is mentally with the concussion or memory loss or whatever this is. I'm here, for whatever, ok?"

Maura reached to touch Frankie's arm. "Thank you Frankie. Your sister is an attractive woman. Confident. Strong. Who doesn't have a crush on her at the bare minimum?" She stepped away. "I will admit, I've wondered what it might be like to date her or even to be in a relationship with her romantically, but that has been the extent of it." Maura wrapped her arms around herself for comfort. She turned and stared out the window, "I have never acted on it or revealed my feelings to her. I do care immensely for Jane, Frankie but," Maura turned back and looked Frankie right in the eye. "Whatever I've felt for her I have never allowed myself to hope for more than a moment that she felt the same way." Maura had revealed more than she intended but in this moment, Frankie gave her hope. She began to worry her ring. "Frankie, If I were to tell you that I am attracted to your sister in a more than friendly way, would that bother you? Because I am, I truly am. I love Jane."

"I suspected as much, Maura, you two are kinda obvious."

Maura became contemplative. "It seems that she and I have been walking along parallel pathways, both of us too frightened of the consequences of our revelation."

"But now, now she thinks you two are MARRIED, Maura!" Frankie's voice got a bit loud and Maura's eyes went wide as she moved her hand to her own mouth to shush him.

"Maura, if your psychiatrist, doctor friend thinks you should 'pretend' all this for Jane's sake, just how far are you willing to go?"

Maura's mind flashed to places she could not share with Frankie. "Frankie, let's just hope it doesn't come to that. I've managed to stem her attempts at intimacy so far. It is difficult, more than you can imagine, but I have no intention of doing anything with Jane that she might regret later."

"You've got your work cut out for you, Maura. I don't envy your position. This is going to get tougher before it gets better."

"I know Frankie. I anticipate that it is going to be incredibly challenging to keep my own feelings at bay and care for your sister as she needs me to care for her. Thank you Frankie. I don't think I would have ever revealed what I have been feeling without your acknowledgement of what Jane said she felt toward me. I don't even know how to process all of this right now. I just need to think." Maura paused and took in a deep breath, "It is all so overwhelming."

"We'd both do anything to help Jane. I trust you Maura. Now that I know you love my sister too, I'm even more behind you. Hell, half of the department have bets going as to whether you two are already an item."

Maura shot him a stern look.

Frankie needed to learn when to shut up. He winced apologetically, "I haven't said anything, Maura. I won't. I promise. This betting thing was going on way before that assho...er, jerk beat my sister."

Now Maura's face showed an incredulous expression. "How long, Frankie? How long have people been placing bets on Jane and me? "

Frankie dipped his head. He'd started this line of conversation so it was his to finish. "Do you remember the day you arrived at the precinct and Cavanaugh introduced you as the new Chief Medical Examiner?"

"Yes."

"Well, when he walked you over to Korsak and Jane in the homicide department, some of the other detectives watched you reach out your hand to introduce yourself to Jane. I heard the rumors that same day. They saw something between you two. That was when certain members of the department started to take bets."

Maura looked away from Frankie. Was she that obvious? "I don't appreciate people assuming anything about me." Maura had heard other rumors and she was displeased with their tone. Queen of the Dead. At least it was creative. "Does Jane know about the betting?"

"Yeah, she does."

"How does she feel about it? I can't imagine she took it very well."

"Jane was pissed when she'd heard. She hates it. Korsak had to pull her off of one guy because he got smart with her. But Maura, I promise you, she loves you. My sister is in love with you." Frankie hesitated briefly, "Maura, you didn't answer my question. If the doctor wants you to create this whole fake life, how far are you willing to go with it?"

They looked at each other while Maura formulated a response. Both knowing all too well to what Frankie was referring. "I'll do what I need to do to take care of your sister, Frankie. Let's hope it doesn't go too long."

After Frankie left for the night, Maura heard his question echoing in her head. Just how far WAS she willing to go? Maura had to think about this situation with a clear mind. She was feeling emotional. On one side she was exhilarated and overjoyed that Jane actually loved her and on the other, Jane was going through some serious repercussions from the concussion that could adversely affect her cognition in the short term and quite possibly in the long term. This was a delicate situation. Maura had a difficult time sorting it all out. Dr. Swen assured her that this method would be the least damaging for Jane, so Maura felt comfort that she made the right call. For now, she'd continue to be the best friend she could be for Jane and rely on Dr. Swen's expert advice and guidance.