~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Ch10, Read to Me
Early the next morning, before sunrise, Jane woke from her sleep with pain in her rib. Still wrapped around Maura, she remembered what she'd done with Maura the night before, it was worth the all pain she felt right now as a consequence. She reached over and pulled more pain medicine so she might go back to sleep.
Maura snuggled closer to Jane in the queen-sized bed. She was still asleep. There was a bit of a chill in the air and the two still lay naked under the fluffy down quilt. Crispy white cotton sheets caressed their skin as they held each other close. Jane lazily closed her eyes, waiting for the medicine to pull her back to unconsciousness and relieve her from the pain. She wrapped her arm tighter around Maura, still needing her to be near all the time. Jane drifted off dreaming of the graceful and elegant woman beside her.
When sunlight lit the room so brightly that neither could sleep any more, they were both awake in the bed, neither willing to leave the safety and warmth. The charmed intimacy they felt together there in that bed as they clung to each other, skin to skin, face to face as each memorized the features of the other made them feel as if nothing else mattered. They were enchantingly close with both of them thinking to themselves how breathtakingly beautiful the other was against the bright white bedding. Smiles crept across their faces.
Neither had yet broken the silence. Jane saw an endless constellation of freckles spread across Maura's fresh, clean face in the bright morning light. She reached for Maura's hand and slowly pulled Maura's arm from around her body and pressed a kiss to the inside of Maura's wrist. Mid-kiss, she lifted her brilliantly rich, brown eyes to see Maura watching. For Maura, that simple gesture meant everything. Jane loved her.
The muffled sound of rustling sheets broke the silence momentarily as Maura reached down to pull Jane's wrist to her own lips and mirrored Jane's kiss. Brilliant gold-flecked green stared into deep warm, loving brown. Maura wanted to give to Jane what Jane had given to her the night before. She was still afraid it would be the wrong thing to do. She hesitated. But Jane had already slid herself closer to reach Maura's mouth as they shared a slow burning kiss that inflamed their craving for more.
Jane pulled away and looked on as Maura's eyes remained shut, Maura's perfect lips separated while she gently exhaled and the tiny furrow in her brow fell away. Maura slowly opened her eyes to see Jane as the desperately in love doctor drew in another breath through her open mouth. Jane stared back seeing unbelievably new colors in Maura's blazing eyes as they were lit by the bright sunlight in the room. Jane could perceive desire written all over Maura's face.
Jane leaned in again and pressed another kiss to Maura's soft, warm lips. Maura responded by tilting her head back and opening her mouth slightly to draw the tip of her tongue across the underside of Jane's upper lip. Jane opened her mouth and returned the gesture, and let a slight puff of air escape as she pushed closer. Maura whimpered into the kiss and Jane felt the white hot heat down low in her belly and between her legs the flash hit her hard. Jane needed Maura's touch. She didn't think she could stand another moment without Maura's hands all over her. Jane brought herself up against Maura, sliding her left leg between Maura's thighs and rolling Maura to her back. Jane slowly started to rock her hips as she continued her kisses and the silent white sun-lit room heard Jane's breathing and Maura's quiet whimper, "Oh, God." Maura was ready to give over again.
Maura could feel her body building, she wanted Jane but she really believed she needed to push her away. Jane's weight on her felt so good. Jane's touch. Jane's kiss. Jane's upper thigh was pressing and gently pouring friction against her as Jane slowly and steadily continued to rock her hips. Maura knew she needed to stop. Maura let last night happen and Jane injured herself. Maura's internal struggle with what's right versus satisfying Jane's obvious need tore her through. She loved Jane. She wanted Jane. She wanted to give everything to Jane. She shouldn't be doing this with Jane and not only because of Jane's physical injuries. Jane began to migrate her hand to touch Maura's soft wetness. Maura knew if she let Jane touch her there she wouldn't be able to stop. She knew she, herself, was on the edge of never being able to stop. She slid her hand up to Jane's chest and pressed. Maura used all her mental strength and turned away from the softest and sweetest of kisses. She breathlessly and quietly forced, "Jane, we can't."
"Maura, I'm fine." Jane was single minded in her need to achieve her goal and continued her movements. She whispered, "I feel no pain." Jane pressed on and began to kiss a trail down Maura's neck.
Maura loved the feel of Jane's tongue on her neck and the heavenly things Jane was doing to her body but Maura did not want to do any harm to Jane. Maura pressed her hand harder against Jane's chest. "Jane, we can't. Please, Jane. Stop."
Jane pulled back and looked Maura in the eye. "What is it Maur? I promise I will not hurt myself." She held up two fingers. "Scout's honor."
"Jane you were never a boy scout." Maura slid from under Jane. "Jane, please, I don't want to hurt you or for you to hurt yourself. There will be time for all of this after you are healed."
"Maur, I," Frustrated and confused, Jane couldn't bring herself to say words. She just let out a weak breath of air and remained in the bed.
"Jane. We can't, really. Please, what do you need to say?"
Jane's need outweighed her aversion to begging, "I need to touch you. I need you to touch me. I don't think I can go another day. I'm going to explode."
"Jane, I highly doubt you will explode." She sat up in the bed and pushed her feet over the edge and to the floor. She stood out of reach. "I'm going to take a shower, then I will make us breakfast. You should shower too before we go into town. You did say you'd take me to the museum didn't you?"
Jane looked defeated. Did Maura not hear her plea? She tried to accept what Maura was doing. She tried to understand that Maura was only looking out for her best interest to get her to heal. She was still frustrated beyond belief. She literally thought her body was about to crack into tiny pieces if her wife didn't touch her immediately, if not sooner.
Jane felt upset and frustrated and was beginning to become angry. Maura had already left the room and was in the shower. Jane put on clothes and went into the kitchen. She began to think of all the days since she was injured and all the times Maura pulled herself away. She'd started the coffee pot and pulled out one of the rolls from the deli. She took a bite. There was angry chewing of dry, hard bread. She never even tasted it as she swallowed hard to force it down.
She began to wonder if maybe Maura didn't love her anymore. But last night popped in her head remembering Maura's writhing body in her arms, moaning and calling her name. The softest, most delicate and graceful woman was in bed with her, naked last night. The most gentle, tender and loving kisses from this morning still lingered on her lips. Jane was so confused.
She looked around the kitchen and grabbed the empty wine bottle still sitting on the counter from the night before and rolled it in her hands. All she wanted was for her wife to love her back. Not so much to ask, she thought. She rubbed her thumb across the embossed label admiring the artistry of the design. Maura always likes the finer things in life. She grasped the bottle more tightly as she tried to remember her life before she was hurt. Her memories of her intimate life with Maura were gone. She could remember the day to day, at a crime scene, laughing through meals, but fragmentary glimpses were all that remained of her married life. All she really had were these past two weeks of Maura slipping from her grasp, one incredible kiss in the kitchen in Boston and last night's dreamy seduction of her wife that lingered into this morning. That's it. And Maura ended it with a push to Jane's chest.
Jane held the bottle in her left hand and brought it to her face, the cool hard smooth surface slid across her cheek. Jane's anger was peaking. Did her wife no longer love her? Were these few memories all she'd have to hold? She rolled the bottle against her left temple. Her anger got the best of her. She didn't know what to think. Jane didn't notice as a freshly showered, silken robe clad Maura entered the kitchen. At that exact moment, Jane hurled the thick bottle against the porcelain kitchen sink with a dangerous and astonishing strength. Glass shards exploded across the room with a shrieking crash. Jane slumped over, reaching for her rib that popped as she threw the bottle with so much force. She nearly dropped to her knees from the pain.
Maura witnessed the entire outburst as tiny shards of glass flew all around, some landing on her robe. Jane started to cry. Openly sobbing, her body shook from her cries. Maura called, "Jane!" She heard Maura's voice, but she couldn't face her right now. She couldn't take any more. Jane forced herself to her feet and grabbed her parka that still hung at the back of the bar-stool and headed out the kitchen door toward the snow covered dunes.
Maura stood in her bare feet. She couldn't follow. She turned to get dressed and catch Jane. When she got to the bedroom she hurriedly dialed Dr. Swen. Maura was half dressed when the doctor finally picked up.
"Maura, it's seven in the morning, what's wrong? Did something happen with Jane? Is everything ok?"
"No, Rachel, it is not ok. Jane is not ok. She's incredibly upset." Maura was out of breath because she was trying to dress and talk and worry all at once.
"Why? What triggered it? Has her memory returned?"
"I don't think so, but," Maura hesitated for a moment to tell Dr. Swen what really happened. "Rachel, Jane and I, we…"
"Did you sleep with her?"
"Yes. I mean, Jane touched me and I," Maura didn't even know what to say. "Jane made me climax twice last night before I realized she was in pain from her rib injury."
"So Jane is in pain? That is why she's upset?"
"No, Jane is upset because this morning I stopped her from touching me more." Maura was dressed and headed toward the kitchen.
"Maura, did you reciprocate? Did you make love with her? Touch her?"
"No, I didn't, I mean, after I saw she was hurting last night I made her take her pain medicine and we both went to sleep. And then this morning…this morning we, she started. And I thought we shouldn't because of her mental state and her physical injuries. I stopped her."
"Maura, dear Maura. She's feeling rejected. You've been pushing her away now for nearly two weeks. She's probably feeling as if you don't want her. Maura, do you want her? Do you love her?"
"Yes, I am desperately in love with her. I'm in love with Jane Rizzoli."
"Give her what she wants, Maura; what you both want, LOVE HER BACK. Let her know you love her back."
Maura's shoes were now on, the broken glass crunched under her soles as she hurriedly moved across the war zone in the kitchen to get to the back door. She saw Jane standing at the water's edge, looking out over the waves. "I see her, she's on the beach. I need to go to her."
"Maura, you should and don't let her out of your sight. Being upset this way might trigger her memories and she shouldn't be alone through that."
"I'm going." Maura pushed open the door and stepped out into the wind.
"Good, Maura. Just love her. I will see you on Saturday morning unless I can find a way to get there sooner."
"Thank you, Rachel. I really hope you are right about this. I will call you later." Maura hung up and pushed the phone into her coat pocket as she quickly walked across the dunes through Jane's icy, snowy footprints toward the beach. The wind was freezing cold and cut through Maura's body. Maura was already shaking inside from the fear she felt seeing Jane hurting this way. Maura's hair was still freshly wet from her shower and the wind froze the ends into tiny icicles that were beginning to make their own noise as they whipped across her face.
When she was close, she slowed her pace and called out, "Jane?" She stepped closer. "Jane, please, come back inside. It is so cold out here." Jane just stood, staring out at the water, no longer crying, she looked despondent. Maura slowed her approach to Jane and walked up to her, reaching for her hand. Jane pulled her eyes away from the water and looked down toward the edge of the sand, now staring at the foot high roll of sea foam that stretched across the length of the cape, joining sand to frothy sea.
Maura gently tugged on Jane's hand to get her attention and Jane finally looked over to Maura to see the thousand tiny white icicles whipping around her face. She looked like an ice princess. That was enough to snap Jane from her anger. "Maur, you're freezing. Go back inside."
With blue, cold and shaky lips Maura prodded, "Yes, Jane and so are you. Let's both go inside. Please." She stepped behind Jane and wrapped her arms around her waist to the front. She leaned her head against Jane's back. "Jane, please, I'm so cold. Please, let's go inside?"
"Maura, I can't right now. Just leave me here. Go. You'll make yourself sick if you stay. I just need some fresh air. Go back, Maura."
Maura squeezed her arms around Jane's waist. "No, Jane, not without you. I won't go without you." Maura shivered in the freezing wind. "I'm not leaving you."
Jane heard Maura voice was shaking from the cold. She never wanted Maura to hurt. She turned her body and wrapped her arm around her nearly hypothermic wife and started to walk back toward the cottage. She pulled Maura closer to shield her from the wind. Together, they entered through the back door at the kitchen and Jane was reminded of her earlier outburst. "Maur, I'll clean this up, you go inside to warm up."
Maura was knocking the snow from her shoes. "No, Jane, I'll clean this with you. I believe I might have been the cause of it anyway."
"Maura, sweetie, you are not the cause. I should be better about controlling my own temper. I don't usually react like that around you, then again, I don't usually cry like I have been either. I am having trouble controlling my own emotions lately. It's like I'm not me. I don't remember being a blubbering crybaby before. Was I? Am I?"
Maura reached into the kitchen closet to pull the broom and began to sweep a trail for them to cross to the other side. "Jane, you do seem to have your emotions near the surface lately. We talked about this, that could very well be a result of the head trauma. It should pass."
Jane reached for the broom, "Sweetie, please, let me clean the mess. You still look so cold. You're still shaking." Jane had her hand on the broom. Maura slid her hand up over Jane's.
"Jane, we will do this together. We will clean the mess. We will fix it. Ok?" She tried to smile. "Together, Jane."
Jane let go of the broom and stepped toward the closet to retrieve the dustpan. "OK, together."
Maura reached for the dustpan and handed Jane the broom and together they plowed a path through the glass splinters, removing all hazards in the kitchen. Quietly Jane swept and Maura bent down with the dustpan. They both listened to the hollow sound of glass bits sliding along the tiled floor and the crash of sharp shards dropping into the trash can. Jane held the broom outside and shook it to remove any remaining tiny bits of glass and Maura suggested she prepare breakfast after all. Together they made it safe again.
"Maura, can we just have a bowl of the lobster bisque for breakfast? I can heat it up for us?"
"For breakfast?" Maura immediately regretted questioning Jane's wish. "Yes, Jane. We can do that. Would you still take me to the museum today? Let's get out of this cottage for a while. Ok?"
"OK. Babe, you go warm yourself, I'll heat it up and bring a hot bowl of bisque to you." Jane leaned over and kissed Maura's temple. She reached up to the ends of Maura's hair that still had remnants of ice melting at the tips. "It almost scared me seeing all the ice in your hair on the beach. I never thought that could really happen. You looked like Mr. Freeze."
"You are so funny." Maura tried to keep a serious look but couldn't. She put her hand on Jane's shoulder. "You go shower, I'll heat the soup." Maura smiled up at Jane and Jane moved out of the kitchen to get ready to go. Maura stood in the kitchen unmoving, with the still thawing frozen tips in her hair she finally reached for the bowls while her body continued to shiver. She was anxious. Nervous. Afraid. She did not want to make things worse for Jane. She opened the refrigerator and removed the container of lobster bisque, that even cold, still smelled heavenly. She dished it into bowls and slid them into the microwave. She went and brushed the wind from her hair while she waited.
Jane stripped to enter the shower. She was still pissed. She was trying to be nice so Maura wouldn't become upset, but she was still raging inside. Something wasn't right. She needed to get to the bottom of why Maura had really been pulling herself away from her so much. She stepped into the hot shower with her skin still cold from being outside. The dramatic temperature change felt like burning to Jane. She stepped back out of the shower to lower the temperature. She paused while the water cooled and huffed, "Hot and cold." Hot and cold Maura, she thought, was literally driving her nuts.
Back in the kitchen, Maura finished preparing the meal she forced herself to decide was more of a brunch due to the menu. Earlier that morning, after her discussion with Rachel, she made a different decision while standing on the beach freezing and desperately wanting Jane to be ok. Maura was going to listen to Dr. Swen and she was going to just go for it. She was going to show Jane how much she loved her. Jane should never have been made to feel unwanted, undesired. Of all people, Jane deserved to be loved and that is what Maura intended to do, to the best of her ability.
Jane walked out to the kitchen after her shower to find a warm bowl of soup waiting, but no Maura. "Maura! Where are you?"
"I'm in here, Jane" Jane walked into the tiny living room to sit with Maura and eat their lobster bisque breakfast/brunch.
"You know Jane, this is a very creative breakfast meal." Maura smiled. She was trying. Jane was still grumpy, apparently. She did not smile back. "Jane, how soon can you be ready to head into town? Are you still up for it?"
Jane looked over to Maura and decided, "Sure, Maura. Sounds fine." Maura was hoping for something a bit more enthusiastic. She was struggling, thinking of what would pull them both from their melancholy.
"Jane, we don't have to go. There is plenty of food. We have entertainment." Jane looked toward Maura.
"What? Sit here and watch the waves hit the beach. No thanks, already seen it. It's a rerun." Jane didn't want to be a downer right now but she couldn't help it. She wanted to show Maura she loved her and somehow communicate how much she wanted her to love her back. She just couldn't fight right in that moment. The air was heavy with undesired tension and instability. They both hated it. The one thread that stayed between them was the depth of love they felt for each other.
Finally, Jane relented, "OK, so what's the entertainment, Maura?" Trying to be an adult, she looked Maura in the eye and forced a smile.
Maura tilted her head slightly while she regarded Jane, hoping Jane might be up for the entertainment she had in mind, "Well, I noticed there are some interesting classic books on the bookshelf along the back wall of the bedroom. Did you happen to see them?"
"No, I didn't notice."
"Well, there are several contemporary books as well, but there is one title that caught my eye. I read a story from the author once, years ago. Have you heard of Erskine Caldwell?"
"The name sounds familiar. Did he write stories in the early 1900's? I think I remember, 'Tobacco Road'. Yeah, that is one of his."
"Very good Jane. That's also the story of his that I read. Have you read it?"
"Yes, I did read it. I liked it. I remember it gave me a serious education about life and about real poverty and tenant farming, what life might have been like in the Great Depression and how horribly people can treat each other."
"Exactly, Caldwell wrote about poverty, racism and social problems in his native South in novels such as "Tobacco Road" and "God's Little Acre". These books won him critical acclaim, but also made him controversial among fellow Southerners of the time who felt he was deprecating the people of the region."
"I remember feeling strange laughing, even though the characters in the story were desperately poor and suffering, he managed to stick in a laugh or two."
"Well, if you haven't yet read 'God's Little Acre', I saw it on the bookshelf. Would you read it with me or let me read it to you? Or maybe we could take turns and read it to each other?" Jane's hard edge began to soften up a touch. The idea of spending a lazy winter day curled up with Maura reading a fun story to her was surprisingly appealing.
"Maura, I haven't read that one and believe it or not, that sounds really nice. Let's to it. Do you want to read in here or where?"
"I'll go get the book and bring it here. It might take us a day or so to get through it, are you up for a marathon reading session?"
Jane wasn't much of a reader these past few years with her job so mentally demanding and stressful. She'd felt like she just never had the time to settle in and read with her mind constantly spinning to solve a case. She believed if she let her mind drift into a book there would be fewer brain cells dedicated to solving murders. Here, in this tiny cottage she felt tucked away from civilization, the idea seemed novel.
"I'm in."
"Good, I'll be right back." As Maura stood, she reached her hand out and sensually slid it across Jane's leg and gave her knee a quick squeeze. Jane noticed. She sat bewildered again on the couch when Maura went to retrieve the book.
Upon her return, Maura held the book in her hands and Jane scooted closer so she could watch the words as Maura read them to her. While Jane settled in against Maura's side, shoulder to shoulder on the couch, Maura asked, "Jane, when you read 'Tobacco Road' did you get a feeling that you were a voyeur? I remember feeling as if I were watching something secret, getting a view of the world that I wasn't supposed to see. It was lighthearted and ridiculous at times, but also showed me the grotesque desperation and hopelessness that poverty forces." Jane looked on at Maura and admired her ability to translate the world in her very unique and special way. Maura continued her assessment while Jane reached for a blanket and covered them both, "It was shocking, really, but it caused me to see how slothfulness and bad decision-making can lead to ruined, wasted lives."
Maura paused for a moment remembering the contorted and colloquial phrasing and dialogue written into the dialect of the poor southern farmers in 'Tobacco Road'. If this story was as she expected, she had just volunteered to read some of the most extreme, stylistic, improper grammar in dialogue ever written. Maura's genius plan to deliver this story to Jane's ears with her voice, to reinvigorate the intimacy and relaxed comfort between them since the outburst this morning, had been initiated. The synopsis of "God's Little Acre" made her believe she was in for a battle and she was about to read it out loud. Maura looked over to Jane, who was much more calm than she had been earlier in the day. She leaned in and kissed Jane's cheek.
Jane smiled at Maura, "Yeah, when I read it, I did get the feeling I was seeing something most people in their situation wouldn't want the world to see with all their dirty laundry blowing in the wind. But I haven't met many sharecroppers in my life."
"Why would someone hang dirty laundry in the wind, wouldn't they wash it first?"
Jane looked at Maura and was reminded again of what an interesting, darling creature she was. "Maur, it's a saying. No, it's like saying they shared all their dirty secrets. They don't hang their actual dirty clothes...but then again…those characters in 'Tobacco Road' just might." They started to laugh again and Jane went on with her description of the story. "I thought the main character was a procrastinator and always expecting and hoping someone else would bail him out of his troubles. I kinda didn't like him, but I loved the story." Then Jane added with a wink, "Maybe because it was really short."
"Short? You can't be serious. You liked it because it was short?" Maura looked back at Jane's eye and saw the smile building. "Do you want to do this or not?"
"Yes, Maura, I do. The idea of curling up with you and a good book seems relaxing and you know how much I'd love to listen to you try to read the dialogue out loud from a story by this author." Jane's sarcasm slowly returned. "This should be fun."
Maura rolled her eyes and settled back into the couch with Jane. Jane leaned in to return Maura's earlier kiss. Maura looked back to the book and took in a breath then began to read to Jane. The room felt warmer. The soothing sounds of Maura's voice entered Jane's ears.
"Several yards of undermined sand and clay broke loose up near the top, and the land slid down to the floor of the crater. Ty Ty Walden was so angry about the landslide that he just stood there with the pick in his hands, knee-deep in the reddish earth, and swore about everything he could think of. The boys were ready to stop work anyway. It was mid-afternoon then, and they had been down in the ground digging in the big hole since daylight that morning.
"Why in the pluperfect hell did that dirt have to break loose up there just when we were getting deep" Ty Ty said, glaring at Shaw and Buck. "Now ain't that something!"
Jane burst out laughing, guarding her rib. Maura stopped reading and looked toward Jane. "What? Did I do something wrong?"
"No, Maur." Jane was still laughing. "You didn't. It's just, you sound like an english professor trying to talk like Ty Ty Walden. Relax. Don't be so formal."
"Well, Jane how does one say 'pluperfect hell' and not sound ridiculous?" Maura might have started to become offended. "Are you making fun of me?"
Still laughing, Jane made an attempt to mock Maura, and in her best Shakespearean actor's voice started, "What in the Pluperfect Hell? Now Ain't that something."
It was Maura's turn to burst into laughter. She couldn't stop. Jane was hilarious. And she did sound ridiculous. "Fine, Jane, here." Maura handed the book to Jane. "You read for a bit and see how you like it. Although, I have to wonder why the author used the word 'pluperfect' to as an adjective alongside the word 'hell'. Doesn't that strike you as an odd juxtaposition? The most widely accepted definition of 'pluperfect' is to be utterly perfect and complete." Maura's enthusiasm was almost contagious. "Did you know the word is a derivation the Middle English pluperfyth, modification of Late Latin plusquamperfectus, literally, more than perfect. Doesn't it strike you as odd that the author described hell as more than perfect?"
"Yes, Maura. It does. What could be pluperfect about hell?" Jane was victim again to one of Maura's etymology rants, she was used to it. She actually kinda liked it. It was Maura.
"I suppose here, in this context he could be referring to this type of hell as extreme. Let's read on and find out."
"Yes. Let's." and Jane rolled her eyes slightly and nudged Maura's shoulder and began to read.
They continued to pass the book back and forth and read to each other the rest of the morning. They laughed at how odd the other sounded in their attempt to speak as if they were a member of that poor family, while enjoying the shocking, tragic story of a man searching for gold on his tiny crater-filled Georgia farm.
Maura interrupted Jane's 'eloquent' reading. "Jane, it's nearly noon. Let's go make something for lunch."
Jane marked their page near the end of the story and placed it on the side table. They both stood and made their way to the kitchen, repeating lines from the story as they searched for ingredients to prepare their food. Maura opened a cabinet and questioned in perfect Ty Ty Walden dialect, "Where in the pluperfect hell is the pepper?"
Jane looked at Maura in shocked disbelief and was laughing through the pain from her rib. "That was really good, Maura."
Maura looked back and they shared a long grinning, happy smile together, she was so proud she brought Jane back from being so upset that morning. They discussed the story and laughed some more. They felt themselves relishing the juxtaposition of poignant pain with exceptionally funny and outrageous plot-lines within the story. They recognized the foreshadowing of danger and managed to embrace the tragedy that seemed to lay ahead for all of the characters.
The book review rolled on as they enjoyed the real magic that had returned to the air surrounding them. There was something about these two women. They always managed to come together to find joy anywhere. They'd argue, sometimes even fight, but always managed to remain supportive of the other. There was a level of confidence between the two women that seemed like a special kind of glue that would bond them forever. Trust.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Note
Thanks to the actual wikipedia for the Erskine Caldwell info. I read the books years ago as well. Worth it and if you can partner with a 'friend' and read them out loud, you won't regret it. Promise.
So, a relationship built on trust. Trust is the 'glue'. What could possibly go wrong here?