~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Ch11, Calm Before the Storm
They finished the book by two o'clock breaking the oration with laughter, mocking recitations and awkward impersonations of accents rarely heard in Massachusetts. Jane and Maura sat, shoulder to shoulder, settled low on the couch with their feet up. Jane had calmed some more since her near fit early that morning. Maura was successful in breaking the bad feel in the air, but Jane still hadn't voiced what was on her mind. The ease between them had returned momentarily. Jane felt the need to explain to Maura that she felt completely devastated by the repeated rejection whenever she tried to get close to Maura. She looked at Maura and just wanted her. Jane was ready to voice this, but when she gazed on at the relaxed beauty next to her, she decided this peace they were feeling was enough for now. They both needed a mental break from all that had been happening.
Jane turned a bit more toward Maura and raised her knees to below her chin. To Maura, Jane looked innocent and vulnerable holding her knees to her chest that way protecting herself. "Maura, do you still want to take a look through one of the museums? I think it would be nice to get out for a bit today after all. Do you feel like driving us over to the museum we saw when we went for groceries?"
Maura pulled her knees up and mirrored Jane's pose. "Of course, Jane. I always love to see the changing exhibits at these small museums."
Jane smiled at Maura's almost childlike earnest interest in all the old stuff at museums. Jane really didn't understand why she became so upset with Maura this morning. Right now, she felt her reaction this morning seemed extreme. Maura obviously loved her. Jane closed her eyes for a moment and remembered the sunset spark and the night prior in the bedroom and then remembered how wonderful it felt to wake up with the warm bright sun shining on them in that bed. She loved the feel of being wrapped up in Maura. Maybe she was making too big a deal out of all this. Maura was constantly looking out for her and why Jane ever thought differently felt foreign. She decided to toss those ideas away. Her wife was right next to her, lovely and impossibly more beautiful to her each day.
She decided to make the best of what time they had at the cottage, "Time's a wastin'. Let's go." Jane stood and offered her hand to Maura, who gently accepted it, and they moved to prepare to go into town.
Separately, they got themselves ready to go. Maura prepared in the bathroom all the while thinking and going over the earlier events and the doctor's adamant instruction to 'Just love her'. That is what Maura wanted to do with Jane and exactly what she wanted to hear from her doctor friend. She wanted to believe that allowing Jane to get closer was the right thing. She saw the anger from Jane and the frightening violent outburst in the kitchen when Jane threw the bottle. Maura was never comfortable in volatile situations. She still intended to hear from Jane why she was so upset. Maura started to fuss with her makeup and wondered why it mattered so much that she look perfect right now. Inside she knew. She also suspected the reason for Jane's distress this morning. She didn't want to guess but her intuition told her that Jane was reacting because she again refused Jane's intimate advances this morning after such a beautifully perfect night. After the nice morning reading to each other, the mood had softened and warmed up tremendously. She looked at herself in the mirror and applied the finishing touches to her makeup. She looked back at her reflection and made her decision.
When they were finished getting ready, they nearly bumped into each other as Jane exited the bedroom at the same time Maura emerged from the bathroom.
"Are you ready, Miss?" Jane bowed toward Maura and raised her arm to grandly gesture toward the front door.
"Yes, I do believe I am sufficiently prepared for our afternoon adventure." Maura stepped forward and Jane placed her hand low on Maura's back and led her toward the door. She took Maura's winter jacket from the hook on the wall at the door and slipped it up the length of Maura's arms then spun her around to do the zipping.
Surprised and a little bit curious, Maura needed to know. "Well, Jane. Why am I getting the royal treatment this afternoon?"
"I dunno Maura, I just feel like it. It feels natural for me to care for you." She raised her head and hesitantly sought Maura's eyes to gauge her response. "Please, just let me do some things for you. You've been keeping up with my injuries and all for two weeks now. I think it's time I start pulling my own weight."
"Jane, I don't advise pulling anything at all, let alone something of your weight with your rib injury still in the process of healing."
Jane just pushed her eyebrows together momentarily confused and realizing just how literal Maura could be. "Maur, I'm not…" Smiling, Jane finished, "Just let me get this zipper up and we can go." Jane enjoyed the quirkiness of Maura. She was fun. Teasingly, Jane asked, "Are you making a comment about how much I weigh?"
"I most certainly am not." By now Maura had caught on and was grinning.
Jane fussed with connecting the zipper ends at the bottom of Maura's coat. Maura stood and let her figure it out. The force of Jane's attempts with the zipper tugged her hips forward repeatedly as Jane tried to connect the metal pieces together. Maura thought the whole thing adorable even as she felt as if she was slightly losing her balance.
Finally, Jane got the zipper connected and slid it noticeably slowly up to Maura's chin. In the quiet house, the clicking sound of the mechanical metal to metal connection of the zipper conjured up ideas in Maura's head, but those images had the zippers all going the opposite direction. Maura stared at Jane. Jane looked at Maura and took a step closer. She put her hands on Maura's jacket collar and pulled Maura in for a gentle kiss. Jane pulled back slowly and let up a bit on Maura's jacket collar. Maura opened her eyes and mumbled, "Mmmm, very nice Jane. Would you mind doing that again?"
Jane slowly blinked her eyes while she put on a subtle smile and without hesitation pulled again at Maura's collar then let go. She moved her hands up Maura's neck to cup the sides of her face and slide her fingertips though Maura's hair behind her ears. She gently held Maura's lips close as she pressed them together for a few more moments. Maura felt so much in the intimacy of Jane's touch. She was beginning to lose the battle. She was ready to give in completely. Her reason and distance were fading as she became more and more wrapped up in this entire affair. After they both lost touch with the ground for a few moments during that second kiss, Jane took Maura's hand and pulled her toward the door. "Come on, the museum isn't open all night." Jane held her back and reached for the door knob, preventing Maura's advance. "Wait." Once the door was open, she nodded her head for Maura to move through.
Maura smiled and thought about how much she liked when Jane behaved this way. Maura had a singular thought, 'Today might be fun after all'.
Maura drove the fifteen minutes into town. The sun was bright and Jane was without sunglasses to wear so Maura handed over her Armani aviators. Maura raised one eyebrow when she noticed how good those glasses looked on Jane and kept a mental note to get another pair for herself because hers definitely already belonged to Jane for the duration. Maura was struck again at Jane's unassuming breathtaking beauty. Jane just oozed sex appeal and Maura was sure Jane had no awareness of the power she held.
Jane saw the look. "What?"
"Those sunglasses suit you." Maura reached for Jane's hand in the car. "Jane, do you mind if I choose a different museum to see today?"
"Yeah, sure, whatever you want. You're the museum girl. I'm just going along for the ride."
Jane had her face plastered against the glass the entire ride as she soaked in all the scenery. "What is THAT?" Jane pointed upward looking up from the front window of the Jaguar. "That is the skinniest castle I have ever seen."
"Jane, that is the Pilgrim Monument, the tallest granite monument in the United States. Its purpose is to commemorate the Mayflower Pilgrims' first landing in the New World in Provincetown, in November 1620."
"What? No, the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock. Everybody knows that." Jane was certain she finally knew something that Maura didn't.
"Well Jane, that is a common misconception. The pilgrims who came over on the Mayflower actually did stop here in this spot first. They spent several weeks here getting their bearings before moving on to make a settlement in the area now called Plymouth. While they were here, they drew up and signed the Mayflower Compact."
Jane eyed Maura. Now hesitant with Maura's apparent certainty. "Damnit." Jane knew to believe what Maura had to say. "So, are we gonna climb that thing? I'll bet there is an amazing view from way up there."
"I don't think you'd make it to the top with your rib injury. As I recall, it is 252 feet tall. Entirely too many steps for you to try today. Besides, I'm certain it is closed down for the season." Maura noticed the disappointment on Jane's face. She reached for Jane's hand again and laced her fingers between Jane's, "We could come back in the spring if you like. I'll walk the steps with you. I promise you won't be disappointed with the spectacular view from the top."
"Now THAT is the best idea I've heard all day. Man, I didn't really wanna have to prove you wrong about me not being able to make it to the top today." She grinned at Maura.
"You really wouldn't want to do this today regardless, as I recall, it is a spiral stairwell, you might find your auris interna affected."
"My what?"
"Vertebrate and Labyrinth comprising two main functional parts. Namely cochlea dedicated to hearing and vestibular to balance." She saw Jane's confused look, "Your inner ear." Jane nodded in understanding. "Jane, you might feel dizzy and especially after your head injury, you might be more affected." Maura leaned forward in the car and looked upward toward the granite tower.
"Hey, look! The museum is open. Let's park this thing and go in." Jane was apparently excited to see the museum after all. Jane held on to Maura's hand and Maura tried to park the car one-handed.
"Jane, may I have my hand back now? I need to properly park the car."
"Nah, I think I'm gonna keep it for awhile."
"Then I'll have to park here, not quite in a spot." She reached across the steering wheel with her left hand and pushed the button to turn off the car. "OK, you're climbing through my side, because I'm definitely not climbing past this steering wheel to get out on your side."
"What?" Jane realized that she was going to have to let go of Maura's hand after all. "OK, but I want it back when we get out."
She leaned over and kissed Maura on her right cheek before loosening her grip. "Stay right there." Jane got out of the car and walked to Maura's side and opened the door. Maura stepped out as Jane reclaimed her hand. They walked up the wooden ramp to the museum entrance. The bell hanging from the door rang lightly as they entered the surprisingly very modern looking museum on the edge of the water. "Wow, I didn't expect this from looking at it from the outside."
"Well, Jane, that is why we never judge. We investigate."
"Since when?" They both laughed, paid the entrance fee, and started to walk around the exhibits.
Maura was struck by the ease of affection Jane was willing to share in public. Possibly because of their locale, Provincetown was more than gay-friendly, but Maura did expect Jane to be a little more reserved. Either way, the comfortable warmth they shared was fun and quite enjoyable for her.
Holding each other's hands and leaning close as they read the stories of the whaling ships and read the passenger list from the Mayflower, they both felt warm and romantic, surrounded by the spell again, just like from the grocery store. Maura interjected fun facts along the hallways, teaching Jane everything she ever wanted to know about the 99 passengers who arrived on land in Provincetown, and relayed the tragic story of the the 43 who died in that first year. "Almost half." Maura looked at Jane, who looked up.
"They risked it all to live a life of freedom. These people left everything they knew, everyone they loved, and exercised a courage rarely seen. Look." Maura guided Jane to the Mayflower Compact diorama. "These people fled the religious oppression they felt on the other side of the Atlantic and started a colony with this document. They established rules of government. This was the very beginning of what became this country, Jane. Think of it. They risked everything for freedom and the possibility to live a life in control of their own destiny."
Jane stood next to Maura, so close she could feel the heat from Maura's body. She reached her left arm around Maura's waist. Her fingers finding the loop of Maura's slacks, she slipped her thumb up just a bit to feel the skin just under Maura's shirt. Jane started to read the text of the document. "In the name of God, Amen. We, whose names are underwritten, the loyal subjects of our dread Sovereign Lord King James, by the Grace of God, of Great Britain, France, and Ireland, King, defender of the Faith, etc." Jane moved her fingers up with her thumb to slowly caress the skin more forward at the edge of Maura's stomach just under her pretty wife's shirt and stood closer, brushing their bodies together.
Maura inhaled at the touch and whispered, "Jane, you aren't tired of reading to me after we read an entire novel this morning?"
Jane leaned her head toward Maura's ear and whispered back, "No, reading to you is my new favorite thing." Jane leaned in and breathed into Maura's hair. The air around them was electric. They could barely keep their hands off each other.
Maura could feel her heart beating in her chest. "Jane, may I?" Maura gestured toward the document. Jane nodded and Maura continued to read, "Having undertaken, for the Glory of God, and advancements of the Christian faith and honor of our King and Country, a voyage to plant the first colony in the Northern parts of Virginia, do by these presents, solemnly and mutually, in the presence of God, and one another, covenant and combine ourselves together into a civil body politic;... "
Jane listened to the words and listened to the sweet tenor of Maura's very feminine voice. All of this was magical to Jane. When Maura was nearly done reading the nearly half page document, Jane interjected and took over the duty, "...In witness whereof we have hereunto subscribed our names at Cape Cod the 11th of November, in the year of the reign of our Sovereign Lord King James, of England, France, and Ireland, the eighteenth, and of Scotland the fifty-fourth, 1620."
Jane paused a moment. "So this is it. This is the document that started it all. I didn't even know."
"Many people don't know this detail of history, Jane. We are standing in the same place where this country, our nation, got its start. It may have begun as a colony, but once freedom took hold, no one wanted to go back to oppressive rule."
Jane began to tease, "Oh, Maura, you are so romantic. Just kiss me. Kiss me now." Jane made a kissy face and Maura laughed it off. "Hey, I'm not kidding. I demand a kiss from you right here. Right in this spot where the people coming to this land declared their first form of government."
"Jane, this is hardly a place to be kissing." Maura looked around a bit to discover that no one was looking. She quickly leaned over for a kiss and Jane wrapped her arms around Maura and turned it into a bit of a spectacle. They both broke the kiss with a laugh. "There, now I'll never forget." Jane released her wife.
Maura heard Jane saying she'd never forget. Maura knew none of that was certain. Maura inhaled deeply, then exhaled. "Jane, we've been wandering around in this place for over two hours. Let's go find a restaurant and have a sunset dinner."
"Great idea. I can always eat." She spun Maura around and practically chased her out of the building with laughing attempts at inappropriate public displays of affection. The air was cold outside so Maura pressed the button on her key fob to start the Jaguar from inside the building's glass door. "Hey, Maur, why don't you just train that thing to fetch our dinner and bring it to us?"
"Ha. Ha." Sassy Maura held her hand on Jane's shoulder, took a step toward the counter near the entrance, and placed a sizeable cash donation into the metal can sitting at the counter's edge near the museum shop's cash register.
"Wow, Maura, you buyin' the place?"
"No, Jane, I'm simply giving back to the museum for such an amazing and educational experience."
"We did pay an entrance fee, Maura."
"We did, but I like to contribute to organizations that do good things. These past few hours did some good things for me, Jane." She eyed Jane. "How about you?"
Jane couldn't resist the dual meaning in Maura's phrasing but decided to play it lightly, "Oh, yea. It did. These past few hours have done wonders for my aching feet."
Maura gave Jane's shoulder a nudge.
They stood behind the glass looking out over the harbor in front of them. Only a few boats were docked for winter. They both imagined that 100 foot ship sailing in for the first time. "Did you enjoy it, Jane?"
"Yeah, it has been nice. More interesting than I could have imagined. And it was really nice to be able to be close to you in public and not worry that people would run for the hills at the sight of LESBIANS!." Jane leaned in again for another quick kiss as if what she'd just said had no significance at all. "Too bad they don't sell scrimshaw here. I always wanted a whale's tooth." Jane smiled again as Maura slid her hand down from Jane's shoulder to her hand.
"Come on, Jane. The car should be warmed up by now." They walked toward the running car, staying close in the cold. Reluctantly breaking the contact they'd maintained between each other the entire time they spent in the museum, they both felt a sense of loss for the five seconds it took them to get seated and buckled in. Jane's hand went straight for Maura's knee.
Jane settled in to the car seat. "Wow, this seat warmer is definitely warming my tushie."
"Tushie, Jane. Really?"
"Yes, my rear end is pretty hot. You wanna see?" Jane started to pull Maura's hand under her left leg to feel the heat.
"OK, OK, I believe you Jane."
"Believe what?"
"I believe the seat warmers are working well."
"Maura! That's not what you're supposed to say." Jane was fishing and pulling hard.
Maura gave in. "Ok, I give. Jane your 'tushie' is hot. Oh so hot." Maura's mocking tone did not phase Jane a bit.
"Why thank you, I thought you would never say." Jane's voice was filled with satisfaction. She reached her hand back to Maura's knee. "OK, driver. Take me to food."
Maura turned her face forward and rolled her eyes. They selected a restaurant over the water. It was literally on pilings and stood above the water close to the end of one of the piers in the harbor. "So, we're gonna eat in a restaurant that is standing on stilts tonight?"
"Yes, Jane, I heard that they have decent food and a comfortable atmosphere. Also, I thought we would enjoy the sunset from here."
Jane looked over. Since when did Maura care about sunsets? She wondered if it may have started last night at the cottage during that particularly romantic moment. Jane smiled to herself, she definitely would enjoy them now more than before.
Again, as Maura parked the car, Jane leaned in for a kiss on the cheek, but was surprised to feel lips instead of Maura's cheek when Maura turned into Jane's kiss. Maura gave a soft lingering kiss, lifting her hand to Jane's face for a moment, and then reached for her door handle. Jane's eye caught the movement, "On no….don't touch that handle." Jane got out again and opened the door for a repeat of walking together into the building.
Maura wondered again at the extra special treatment from Jane. If Jane was trying to woo her, it was working. Maura loved this kind of chivalrous attention from Jane.
They were seated at a table against the glass over the water, the perfect spot to enjoy the sunset, their meal, and each other's company. A white table cloth with white napkins wrapped tightly around silverware and a single low candle flame at the center were the only adornments to their small three foot square table. The floors were made of worn wooden planks. The place definitely wasn't fancy, but it fit the locale over the water near the harbor.
"So you heard the food is good?" Jane was mesmerized by the waves as she watched them hit the wood pilings on the adjacent pier.
"Yes, the lobster here is supposed to be fabulous."
"Well, then that's what I'm having." She put her menu down and reached across for Maura's hand and left Maura to hold her menu with only one. Jane held Maura's hand on the table with both of hers and casually looked out over the water as she caressed Maura's skin. The warmth between them was palpable.
Maura looked on at Jane. She wondered how much longer before Jane remembered that they were never married. That everything that had happened in the past few weeks was comprised of a complex set of choices that she'd made. Granted she made them on the advice of a renowned doctor regarded to be at the top of her field. But still, Maura hoped for a good ending, one that was filled with love and forgiveness. She needed Jane to forgive her when all this came out into the open. She needed Jane to understand she did all this out of love to protect her.
She felt the love coming from Jane as the strikingly beautiful woman across from her absentmindedly caressed her hand. That's all Maura ever wanted, to love someone and be loved back in such a way that the love flowed freely without thought. She was so close, but still, everything could fall apart and she knew it.
The expertly prepared food was delivered to their table. "Maur, you have to taste this lobster. It is so sweet. Maybe the best I've ever had. Here." Jane reached her fork across the table and Maura leaned over and let Jane place the forkful into her mouth.
"Mmm. Jane, yes, that is especially good. My scallops are good too. Would you like to try these butter seared scallops?"
"I would, they do look good." Jane leaned toward Maura who placed her fork into Jane's mouth.
They both savored the deliciously sweet and succulent flavor of the freshly prepared seafood.
"Maura, It doesn't get better than this. We need to come up here more often."
"I agree, this is the freshest, most authentic seafood a person can get, prepared by master chefs." Jane kept reaching her hand across the table to touch Maura's hand in this romantic setting. The sun had touched down at the horizon. There was about fifteen minutes left of sunlight. The familiar orange glow surrounded them as they sat at their tiny table. Maura was beginning to feel a nervous excitement inside her stomach.
Jane's voice was low, "Do you want another shot at the spark?"
Jane knew what was on Maura's mind, "Jane, I knew there wasn't going to be a spark last night. Yet I still jumped. I don't even know why I did that. I mean, I felt a little silly, but I still did it."
Jane took in a breath and smiled. "Maura, I am really glad you did. It said so much when you actually did jump up."
"I don't understand. What did it say?"
"It said you trust me. It said that you believe in me, that you want to do whatever you can to please me. It said you'd even risk making a fool of yourself for me. It said everything."
Maura looked out toward the sunset, now halfway down into the sea. The blue gray water blended with the darkening sky and the brilliant glow in the center of the winter pastel palette that was the sun. It was like a picture on a postcard except it was real. Maura placed her other hand with Jane's and turned her eyes to meet the dark brown eyes staring back at her.
"Jane, I do believe in you. I would do anything for you. Jane, I love you."
"I know."
Jane stood and pulled Maura from her seat. She turned their bodies toward the orange glow and they watched as the last rays of light disappeared over the water. Maura turned into Jane and they kissed again.
"Let's go, Jane." Jane paid the bill and they left the restaurant. They barely said a word as the urgent need to get home as quickly as possible was practically telepathic as they silently communicated their desire.
Once at the cottage, their hearts were racing. As they sat in the driveway in the car and Maura turned off the engine, Jane held her hand in the air to let Maura know to allow her to get the door. Maura patiently waited as the car door opened for her and Jane led them both to the entrance to the cottage. Jane took the keys from Maura's hands and smoothly unlocked the heavy painted wooden door. The gestures were not lost on Maura. Her heart continued to race and her wish to give all she possibly could to Jane was a compulsion she could no longer fight.
THANKS TO Provincetown Pilgrim Museum website. If you've never been to Provincetown and you find yourself in the area, go to the top of the very skinny castle, lose yourself in the history and, by all means, have some lobster at a restaurant on stilts.