```~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Ch12, The Awakening
Jane pulled the heavy, weather-beaten cottage door closed, clicked the matching lock, and removed her jacket. She immediately reached for Maura and reversed the zipper mechanism from earlier. Maura took the opportunity to kiss Jane while her hands were busy working with her zipper. After the perfect evening and all that was said and unsaid, this playful movement had meaning. Once unzipped, Jane moved her hands to Maura's jacket collar and pulled it down off of her shoulders. They both managed to stumble their way toward the bedroom, removing shoes and shirts and assorted articles, stealing kisses along their journey.
They tossed a chaotic trail of clothing from the front door to the bedroom door, pieces of clothing were left behind like breadcrumbs marking their way. Once in the bedroom, Jane forcefully kicked the door shut behind them with the heel of her fancy, ribbed merino wool, sock-clad foot.
The sharp sound of the slamming door stunned them both. Suddenly more aware of what they were doing, they both abridged their pace. Time slowed down. Every touch magnified, somehow they both discerned the significance of this moment. The past few days had changed them. A nearly overwhelming intense feeling of intimacy that started that morning as they lay in bright sunlight on the bed staring at each other in joyful wonder grew more profound during the time they spent reading to each other, memorizing the hypnotizing sound of the others voice through to the afternoon. Together, they created an atmosphere filled with hope and love and yearning. Exploring the museum later that afternoon, carrying on the flirty banter and playful touching deepened the incredibly romantic sensation that surrounded them in a thick, sultry haze.
Maura had set her mind earlier, before they left the house and she observed Jane throughout the past few hours. Nothing signaled that what she was about to do would hurt Jane. In effect, it was doctor's orders, but it seemed more a natural progression of things.
Later, during the romantic sunset dinner, when Jane had explained the test of trust with the sparking sun, Maura felt fulfilled. Maura knew she'd do anything for this woman. She had absolutely no choice. She needed this woman in her life, For Always.
Armed additionally with the advice of Dr. Swen, Maura had the all the self-assurance to claim what she'd wanted all along. No longer satisfied to get close and retreat again, marking her Coup stick with imaginary challenges accepted and completed, Maura turned her face upward toward Jane's. The warning bells were absent. This felt right. Rational Maura had come to a decision and, for a rare moment, Maura's emotional, in love side was about to be handed the reins.
The only light filtering into the small bedroom was from the moon reflecting onto the white walls in subtle, gray hues. Jane stood observing a thinking Maura. Jane's thought was that there should be no more thinking tonight. She had waited long enough. She was about to claim her wife but was subverted in her mission when Maura took hold of her shoulders and turned her gently toward the bed. Maura remained standing behind a surprised and suddenly nervous Jane, whose heart was hammering hard in her chest.
The only piece of clothing between them was silently and reverently removed when Maura smoothly glided her hands from Jane's shoulders down her back to release the hook on that last garment with an efficient, precise snap of her fingers. Jane's breathing had become quicker and more forceful. She was trying to maintain control. Maura slid her fingertips up along Jane's back, under the thin straps and forward over Jane's shoulders. Jane could feel her body trembling from the loving, generous affection. The love that Jane had craved for so long was coming to her and she was nearly out of her mind with anticipation. Jane's body reacted to every unhurried and subtle movement from Maura as she continued her slow assault, slipping the straps down the length of Jane's arms. In doing so, Maura was inadvertently forced to press her bare chest against Jane's back. Jane sharply inhaled at that unbelievably warm, soft contact. She exhaled with a shudder as her entire body reacted to the touch. Neither spoke. Maura stood at the edge of the bed knowing exactly what she was about to do. Jane only hoped.
Maura's mesmerizing touches stopped at the ends of Jane's fingertips and she laced her fingers between those of the shaking hands belonging to the woman standing in front of her. Maura's heart leapt, suddenly realizing the significance of this moment for Jane.
She immediately regretted ever denying her Jane any part of herself. Last night Jane gave all of herself to Maura, to the point of injury. No more denial, no more holding back. On this night, a promise will be fulfilled and a new promise will be made.
She pulled her fingers back through Jane's, reversing direction and moving slowly upward along her wrists with the lightest touch imaginable while placing warm kisses across Jane's smooth shoulders and along the delicate knots of her spine. Jane stood still, enveloped in a fog of aching need that was being stoked by Maura's wordless whispers and tender touches. Maura's fingertips kept moving upward to the soft and sensitive insides of Jane's elbows managing to thoughtfully touch every tantalizing place as if she'd already known what would affect Jane the most.
Jane's pulsing heartbeat reverberated through her body with every move Maura made. Her heart was in her throat.
When Maura reached Jane's upper arms she turned Jane again, this time to face her and their eyes met in the dim, pale silver light. The only sound in the room was Jane breathing in and out through her nose as she tried to remain steady through Maura's touch. Hands sliding again, upward across a delicate collarbone and a perfectly exquisite neck, Maura leaned forward to wrap her arms around Jane and place her cheek against Jane's. She whispered, "I want you." Jane's knees nearly buckled at the intimacy and sound of Maura's voice. The honest, mutual sentiment those sounds carried to her ears and to her heart brought tears to her eyes. Jane started to pull back and turn her face toward Maura. Their bodies remained in the most intimate proximity as Maura also turned in to kiss Jane, this time, all barriers were gone.
They stood, skin to skin, heart to heart, amazed at the incredible softness and feeling of the other woman's body pressing against with intensity of the first time. They could feel the pounding of each other's hearts. Jane stood weak-kneed and in disbelief that Maura was actually initiating. She wanted this so desperately but now that Maura was here, Jane was stunned. Jane's brain was racing to piece together a memory that was anywhere near this feeling.
Maura waited. She wanted this to go at Jane's pace. She wanted this night to continue to be perfect.
Jane gave up the mental search and just went with her gut. She got her head together then wrapped her arms around Maura and pulled her closer. This kiss started slowly then began to build until it was fusing them together in love and passion.
Maura could feel Jane's body quivering. Jane's hands were noticeably shaking. Maura steered Jane back and sat beside her at the edge of the bed. She reached for Jane's hand again to gauge how she was feeling. Jane inhaled slowly and released a nervous breath. Maura pressed her mouth to Jane's palm as Jane had done back at the house the day of her injury. Jane remembered. Jane moved her hand against Maura's cheek and pulled her face up as she moved to kiss Maura's mouth, this time with a heated urgency. Maura finally guided Jane down onto the white down-filled bedding. The reverence with which Maura moved around and against Jane caused Jane's heart to race even more. This woman.
The crisp, cool cotton against their skin contrasted with the fire surrounding them. The hushed sounds of movement overtook the rhythmic hums of their breathing as Maura moved over the top of Jane, careful to not press onto her rib.
Maura softly whispered, "Jane, please, I need you to let me know if I do anything that causes you pain." Jane nodded and tried to find Maura's eyes in the dimly lit room. "Maura, I want this. You. Us." Maura didn't want to talk. Words weren't enough now. Maura wanted to show Jane everything she desperately needed to know. It was Maura's intention that, after tonight, Jane would never again doubt that Maura was completely and solely hers forever.
She kissed Jane's fragile concerns away and reached her hand up into Jane's hair behind her ear to hold her in place while she pushed in for a deeper kiss. Jane received that kiss and Maura set out to make all things right with Jane.
Jane accepted everything offered as Maura moved her mouth along Jane's jaw and toward a spot just below her ear. Jane seemed to particularly like the attention Maura was placing on that precise spot so Maura lingered there as her hands made their way to more intimate areas of Jane's body. Stroking bare skin, Maura managed to flare up the already scorching inferno they both felt inside. Maura worked her lips and fingertips over all parts of Jane's unbelievably beautiful body to glorious, well-received responses from her now lover. Jane could no longer contain herself and breathlessly, she called out, "Maura you feel so ... I need you so much."
So much love was running hot in Maura's veins, the sound of Jane's voice nearly pulled the switch that would have made Maura lose control. She could barely keep herself from roughly ravaging Jane right here, right now as it was. But tonight was not about what Maura would take, tonight was all about giving everything possible to Jane.
Maura continued her impassioned movement and slowly kissed her way down Jane's long torso. Jane's voice was still calling, "Maur, please. I, I …" Jane's voice caught in her throat. Maura did not stop. For Jane, so much emotion had been building, so much frustration had been left in the wake of the incident that broke Jane's rib and bruised her face and pulled her Maura away that Jane finally broke. She could not remember ever being touched this way. The softness, the love, all like brand new. Tears were rolling down toward the pillow as Maura continued to make love to her. The joy and the love that Jane felt for Maura was immeasurable. Every dream Jane had was real, here, in this moment.
Overwhelming emotion made Jane reach for Maura. "Maur, please, look at me." Maura stopped and moved her way back up to look into Jane's eyes. She was slightly out of breath, "What is it, Jane? Am I hurting you?"
"No, no, not that, I'm fine, I'm just ." Maura noticed the glint of wet tears on Jane's face.
"Jane, what is it?"
"It's nothing, I just wanted to look at you…" Maura knew Jane wanted to say something else but couldn't so she tried to reassure this woman who had become the center of her world.
"Jane, I'm feeling this as much as you are. I want this as much as you do. This is as important to me, maybe even more." Maura leaned in to place a kiss at the edge of Jane's mouth. She hovered close to Jane's face and their breath mingled for a few moments. She inhaled deeply to take part of Jane inside of her own body. The sultry air surrounding them was like a blanket of irrefutable, unyielding want.
Maura spoke confidently, "Jane, let me love you. Let me show you what I feel for you."
Jane felt a flutter in her heart when Maura began to kiss her more. Sweet slow kisses morphed into open mouthed, breathless, gasping kisses filled with urgent need. Maura's long soft blonde curls draped across Jane's face and along her neck, wrapping her in a shroud as the heat between them grew more potent. Maura pulled away slightly so she could quickly move her hair back behind her and out of the way.
Jane took this moment and tilted her head to let her eyes focus. She found herself confused at the feelings she had. It was as if she had never felt Maura make love with her before. Jane could only remember wanting Maura to love her this way, to touch her this way. This is everything she wanted and her body was throbbing in anticipation. She looked up toward Maura and Maura wiped away the tears. Jane's eyes reflexively closed at the touch. When Maura withdrew her hand from Jane's face, her eyes reopened to find Maura's again.
Satisfied that Jane was not hurt and actually appeared to be more than willing, she was pleased that Jane was feeling all the love she was giving. Maura started to work her way over Jane's body again. Methodically and gradually, Maura plotted a course to lovingly touch every part of Jane's body. All Jane could do was put her head back, close her eyes and feel.
Maura continued her slow, deliberate movement and when she had kissed and nibbled and caressed her way all over Jane's body to Jane's hipbone, Jane mentally guided Maura to where she wanted her to kiss her next. Maura read her mind and placed measured kisses along a line directly to where Jane was so desperately, silently begging she go. The closer Maura got to where Jane needed her to be, the more Jane's breathing seemed to intensify. Jane was practically panting now and Maura could not hold out any longer. She separated Jane's legs placing an elbow under each hip and wrapped her arms around Jane's thighs. She kissed along Jane's inner thigh and then to the other side. She worked her way closer and closer, Jane was in a near frenzy of want. Maura finally put her mouth directly over Jane's throbbing, swollen, ready softness and Jane let out a moan that rocketed white hot heat throughout Maura's entire body. Maura was so turned on she lost focus on everything that was not Jane. Maura maintained contact with her mouth and her tongue and rocked over Jane, softly but firmly, sliding her tongue around and over and back and then dipping down. Jane reached her hands for Maura's hair and held it away while Maura kept going, repeating the same stroke with her mouth and tongue. Maura was lost in the softness of Jane and gave unrelenting adoration to the woman she loved. Jane tried to move her hips but Maura held her steady. Locked in a rhythm, Jane began to give over and let Maura take her fully. Maura sensed the change and pulled her right hand from around Jane's hip and slid it down, under her chin as she pressed slow circles, teasing and building until she heard Jane beg her.
Through gasping breaths, Jane pleaded, "Please, Please, Maura. Touch me. Please, don't stop." Again, the sound of Jane's imploring voice shot another shockwave through Maura. She was ready to burst herself. Maura slid two fingers barely inside and rocked Jane with her mouth lightly suckling and teasing. Jane began to whimper incoherent, rambling indistinguishable words as she tried to breathe but her throat kept catching the air before it huffed out again in faster and faster moaning breaths. Maura pulled her left hand around and up to press and rub at Jane's breast, then slid in gently and fully with the fingers of her other hand. Light strokes matched the movements of her mouth as she lifted Jane and pushed her higher.
With her hips set free, Jane moved with Maura's rhythm and that was it, Jane let out a moan Maura would never forget. The most beautiful, feminine and delicate sound came from Jane's throat and Maura knew Jane felt everything she had intended.
Maura continued her engagement until Jane was quiet but she was overwhelmed by her own urgent need. She couldn't remember ever feeling passion and desire as intensely as she did in this moment. She took Jane's hand and moved it down and through her own warmth as she straddled Jane's muscular thigh and pressed down. With fewer than a dozen strokes and Jane's assist, Maura pushed herself over the edge and let out her own wails of pleasure as she allowed herself to feel.
After a few more clipped movements, she buckled at Jane's side, breathing heavily.
In a daze, Jane laid there, trying to catch her breath as well. Maura slid up closer beside her, caressing her skin with her fingertips, soothing Jane as they both came back to themselves. Maura pulled Jane closer and pressed their bodies tighter together so their skin touched the full length of their bodies. The blended feeling of their bodies made Maura not recognize where her own body ended and Jane's began. This caused a deeper realization in Maura and she rocked Jane in her arms for a few minutes, willing all the love she felt in her heart to move straight into Jane's heart and fill it fully.
Maura's heart could not hold her feelings inside, she had to let them all out, "I love you, Jane. I love you completely. You are mine and I am yours." She continued to tenderly stroke Jane's back and shoulder with her soft fingertips. "You own all of my heart, Jane. Everything. There is no part of me that is not completely owned by you."
Jane closed her eyes and waited for her breathing to normalize. Her rib began to ache after a bit. But for those magnificent moments before, she felt no pain at all. She looked up to find Maura lovingly observing her in the dim, shadowy room, lit only by the faintest silvery light.
Jane's heart was full, so full she was on the edge of tears again. Her emotions were running wild. Feeling slightly overcome, she moved her arms a little, to check if this was a dream. Then she slid her hand along Maura's hip upward to her face and hoarsely whispered. "Maura?" She swallowed thickly. "Maura, you love me?"
Well, there it is. A cliff hanger if there ever was one. I am not a writer. Well, not a creative writer. I do spend many hours at my job writing technical documents like Project Plans, Technical Specifications, Test Plans, Requirements Documents, Project Schedules, bla bla - see, even the list is incredibly boring. Imagine if I pulled any paragraph from this chapter and wedged it in to one of those docs for fun one day... Nope. Nope. I won't. I was really REALLY nervous about writing this chapter...and I paused more than once before clicking go to publish. I tried to write intimacy without coming across as, well, dirty. I hope you enjoyed it. (and, no, I have not yet attended comma school as you might already have noticed.)
Thank you so much for reading.