You will (not) scream

When you can't say anything, and you want to scream at the same time but you can't bring yourself to shriek but at the same time you don't want to, all you can do is make these weird gagging noises in your throat and clench a nonexistent grip in the wall, take a deep breath and hold whatever you want to throw up.

"Sensing distress." he called out in his watery voice. "Are you okay, Mr. Ackermann?"

I backed away slowly towards the metal door, pressuring my back as flat as I could until the cold numbed down my back. My legs wobbled uncontrollably and I breathed in erratic gasps - I've never been known to have such episodes and I had a reputation for being the coldest of them all, but it had seemed as if he - it - cracked my cold shell and shattered it to millions of pieces like it was easy as brushing your teeth or whatever fucking simile I could throw in to describe it.

It blinked, and the sound of his eyelids closing shut and re-opening makes a sound as if a camera had been snapped. With almost smooth movements he moved towards me, the wires still dangling from his body as he inched closer. He bent down and peered at my frame - he was tall from we first met but now he seemed to.. Loom over me.

"Mr. Ackermann?" he called out again. His head mechanically tilted with a weird rotation and his eyebrows burrowed in confusion when I didn't respond to him.

This must be a fucking joke. All the better if it's all a joke, I would've laughed by now.

It looked exactly like a human being. I tell you; exact. The proportions, the anatomy, the feel - then you look on his back, there's weird wiring strapped into his neck and his skin. There was some sort of weird marking on the side of his shoulder. If you look closer at his joints you'll realise that they're joined by these probably metal balls, and if you prod at his skin you would feel something solid underneath. His eyes were just painted moving eyeballs with no emotion nor life, and his voice sounded electronic and watery. His lips were a little too smooth. Yet he looked so human with the familiar mop of brown hair, the bitten nails, his tongue and his curves and fucking everything else.

I looked up to his eyes. Blinking with his glossy eyes again, he reached out with his hand and brushed my cheek, and he looked a little befuddled; as if he was trying to remember something important. He thumbed through my cheek and looked into my eyes and I thought - just for a moment, I saw a flicker of recognition and life in his eyes, when it suddenly dulled away and he put his hand back.

"Are you mute, sir? I could also speak in options of other languages; or if you prefer sign language-"

"Shut the fuck up." I hissed suddenly.

He blinked. But he didn't look hurt, nor did he flinch. Or hug me close and giggle, and say some sort of comment about how I needed a filter for my mouth. Or swat at my nose and laugh, trying to copy me in a comical high-pitched voice.

"What the hell are you?" I breathed out. I peered into his eyes. I expected him to laugh and call me stupid, but he took the question literally.

"I am a beta model, the 104th TITAN mechanism to be created. I am designed to copy personalities and details of the memories duplicated into my system data. However, parts of my system data crashed when I rebooted and permanently shut down until they find a way to fix me." he said in fluent English with a slight German tinge and robotic tone in his voice, sounding a little watery and brisk. Though he tilted his head again and looked at me. "According to my data, you are supposed to be an important person, from what I have heard and base off my remaining system data. Positive?"

"Wait wait wait. 'Duplicate'? They duplicated Eren's memories?"

"More like gathered all stored human memories, sir. They gather it up and put it in a hard disk, and copied it into an artificial brain which already contained human lifestyle basics. Ah, to put it in other words... your... partner's will-"

"Fucking electronic and good as dead now, is he?" I spat. "And you're a fucking replacement!?"

"That's quite harsh, sir. But yes, positive."

My breaths came out in chokes, and I gagged. 104 peered at me and his face twisted into concern, and his hands reached out to touch me.

"He's... H... H..." I collapsed on my knees and made noises as if I swallowed a fish bone. I suddenly wobbled on the floor and seized my own chest as if my fingernails dared to take through my shirt, my legs and arms curling up into a ball as I hyperventilated, my breathing pacing quicker.

"Mr. Ackermann? Sensing distress... panic ... are you okay, Mr. Ackermann? Do you require professional assistance?"

"C-Ca... Can't be... ha-ha... happening..." I breathed out.

I kicked him and shoved him away, my breaths ragged. My hands went in search for a solid grip and I hauled myself up from the floor, sweat gathering on my forehead. Tears pricked at my eyes and I couldn't gulp down my sobs. Emotion took over me and I take one look once more at him.

That's not Eren. Eren is not a machine.

My stomach boiled in anger and - heartbroken, I ran away from the room.

And I swore I saw a glint of hurt in those glossy, painted eyes.

Is he meant to be in important person to me?

! no

no

Shall I help him? Shall I comfort him? Shall I come back? What do I do?

! you are a machine. you cannot possibly understand human emotion