Chapter V -

Lots and lots of italics

(A.N: I really apologize to my readers for the mistake I made last chapter, switching up asuras and devas. They exist, as good and evil beings respectively according to Zoroastrianims, and as evil and good ones according to Hinduism. The mistake was accidental and I really apologized for doing exactly what I aim to criticize in Tiger's Curse. It will be fixed by the time I upload this.)

Fanindra's whole body suddenly went rigid, as if she'd been the one who got stricken by lightning. Her head went up and she hissed:

"There's nothing strange in waking up your best friend with a gentle platonic kiss on the forehead. It's just something perfectly appropriate that you do from time to time, whenever you feel like it. It's not as if I watched her sleep before, or did anything weird. Juts ask her !"

And she turned to her friend, who was still trying to remember how to understand, let alone use, syntax, as Durga did the same, smiling seductively.

"Nilima, I'm mostly into men and sexy wildlife – and also sometimes livestock, but only if it's organic – but still, would you make me the happiest woman–"

"Not on a date ! About our entirely sex-less and platonic relationship ! She'll tell you I never do those those things ! I'm never weird with her ! Never ! It's just that we have lots of overtime that Kadam doesn't remember to tell her about and someone has to bring food and DVDs – it's just a friend thing, that even boy friends with a space in between, boy friends, could do to each other, but not to a girl they like, never, ever, to a girl. So stop shipping us, you femslash fiend !"

Durga let out an unladylike snort that had to be laughter, and rolled her eyes so hard that they seemed revulsed.

There's something weird about her, Nilima finally realized. I think I've already seen that somewhere.

"Oh, sweetie, you got to take the moral high ground and look down on me for so many years. But now, now I shall be revenged !"

She closed her eyes, and rubbed her temples, as if she was pondering deeply a very serious matter.

"It would be so much better if there was a name for that. You've got so many names for me. Irresponsible. Clueless. Useless. Hedonistic wasteland. And my favorite, whenever we're in public, I've never seen her in my life ! followed closely by Don't let her touch me !"

"That one just might be because you send me to spy on people. And it's really hard to keep a cover when your partner doesn't get that word."

Durga's eyes opened. The pupils were huge and what should have been white, around the iris, was strained with red, brown and purple veins that seemed about to burst. Nilima gulped.

Do not want. Not want. No no.

"I won't call you furries. That's my thing, and also you don't have hair. And scale-y's just weird. But I can shapeshift you to make up a better label. Would you like to have feathers ? Like a certain person we both love very–"

"You did not date him and he's not my dad." Fanindra patiently repeated for the millionth time "For one, I was already born, and I left you alone for four minutes, four minutes, and you just had to get acids and have a wet dream about my ceremonial flute."

Durga gasped.

"It wasn't a wet dream ! How dare you ? Your dad loves me back, and our love is pure ! He's totally gonna go back to me once he gets out of that weird neo-pagan phase."

"Mom, you said the same about Loki. Now he's worshipped by hipsters, Aryan cults and Marvel fans. And Loki being Loki, he's bedding half of them."

The woman who was not the embodiment of peace and wisdom rose slowly, and she could barely utter her reply over her trembling rage.

"Don't you speak his name in here ever again ! Because of him, my precious Tom Hiddelston will be typecast forever ! I'm pretty sure your dad's the Maya guy –"

"Aztec."

"Whatever. I'm pretty sure it's the Maya guy, but if it isn't –"

She paused and her look turned blank. She lowered her eyes and stared at Nilima.

"Sorry, who is she, again ?"

"You're not Durga." the stewardess retorted "Why not Durga ? I thought you're Durga, and then you're not Durga."

The not-godess smiled pleasantly.

"No, I'm just the one who reads her crazy fanmail. You can call me Jambhanā. It's not my real name, but I'd like to hear how dumb people sound saying it."

"Fortunately, mom, she speaks Hindi." Fanindra retorted before turning to Nilima. "She's just the asura who steals the prayers and offerings of people who don't really believe in Durga."

"Biatch gave me the job because she wanted to focus on people who would actually listen to advice. No one caught up before, mostly because humans are morons."

Something snaped in Nilima's brain and she suddenly realized she was lying on the floor, saliva drooling from her mouth, her respectable work outfit covered in dust from the unswept stairs of the not-sacred not-temple.

She stood up quickly.

"I'm sorry, I just understood. You are Fanindra's mother."

Yup. Forever and always morons, Not!Durga thought.

"I'm so pleased to meet you."

Jambhanā noticed that one of the human's hand was held in the air, waiting for her to shake it. As if she was one of those American moguls the girl took on tours when the princes' old servant (that man had lived so long, she sometimes remembered his name) needed to trade for his masters.

She didn't bother to answer. She had nothing against the girl, and human stupidity was more cute and ridiculous than annoying to her, but she wasn't going to walk down ancient crumbling stairs in high heels to shake hands with her daughter's future-ex-girlfriend. It wasn't snobbism, just immortal fatigue. Couldn't they get that nowadays ?

To her credit, the girl didn't wait for long. After a few seconds, her hand fell on her long grey skirt, which she started sweeping frantically, without stoping to stare at the asura with a wide smile.

"I can see the resemblance. Mostly facial expression. I always wondered why she was able to frown."

"I would have told you" Fanindra apologized "But you'd have wanted to meet her and–"

"And ?" Not!Durga asked, a little hurt.

"And I'm glad I did !" Nilima exclaimed with the fakest smile she'd ever mutered in her long history of sweeping things under the table. "I suppose that you called me to give me instructions concerning the princes and their – hmm – friend ? As you did with Fanindra ? I would be honored to help you both."

Jambhanā looked surprised.

"So you would be honored to stop complaning to my daughter and go back to keeping my BFF Chelsea Hayes and her tiger pets safe, right ?"

For a second, Nilima wavered and looked down. She weighed the costs for herself and benefits for almost everyone else. It was a tough choice. She wasn't selfish, she'd never been, but more than anything, she wanted to survive and go back to the comforts of the world she understood, before the tigers, before the princes, before –

She stoped herself.

For the second time that day, someone thought of Sai, the boy no one cared about, the boy no one knew would matter, before making a decision that would change their life forever.

There were so many things she didn't know – would that woman even listen to her ? or would she punish her ? would she really do anything ? – but of one thing, she was certain : for the first time in her life, she'd have to betray someone.