Powerlessness is an excruciating pain; it is torture insurmountable.

-Richelle E. Goodrich

-/-

3 months earlier

Their pictures seemed to have a permanent place on the front of every newspaper in London since the three had found the missing Reichenbach Falls painting. And then there was the kidnapped banker and the capture of Interpol's most wanted criminal, Ricoletti. The Reichenbach had caught her off guard, she never expected such a big reaction from the press so when reports began snapping pictures she slid out unseen. When the banker was returned home however, she was prepared.

She wore sunglasses and hid behind her scarf again but that only seemed to bring more attention to herself. Reporters wanted to be the first to find out as much as they could about the woman behind the scarf. It worried her that her true identity would become known but Mycroft assured her that the safety measure she had taken were still in place. She wasn't proud of what she had done to assure they stayed in place but she was glad she had done it.

Then Moriarty came back.

She was at Scotland talking to Lestrade about a case when Donovan came in and said there had been a break in at The Tower of London. She of course went with them and that's how she found out about the break in at the Bank of England and Pentonville Prison. What scared her the most wasn't the face that Moriarty willingly allowed himself to be arrested and put on trial. It was the fact that he was doing absolutely nothing to defend himself, it was all a game that was playing out perfectly.

Syn returned with John the next day to hear the verdict despite the fact she already knew what it was going to be: not guilty. She took the first cab she could find back to Baker Street but it was all in vain for Moriarty was long gone by the time she arrived.

-/-

"I thought I asked to chat with James Moriarty not his loyal lap dog." Syn glared at Sebastian as he took a seat in front of her. In the few minutes it took for what seemed like the entirety of Scotland Yard and paramedics to arrive at Baker Street, Syn had disconnected. She was no longer in that flat and she wouldn't be for a very long time. Instead she was trapped in the deepest, darkest, crevices of her mind and there was no saving her. In the commotion of people rushing in and around the flat she slipped out the bathroom window, unseen and bag in hand.

"You did but you sounded upset on the phone so I decided to come instead and by the looks of it I was right." Syn looked away, trying to fight back the new set of tears that threatened to roll down her face. She looked at the telly the pub had mounted on the wall and tried to focus her attention on that until she trusted herself to look at him. "I didn't sound upset. I sounded perfectly normal."

His eyes darted to the door as the bell chimed announcing the arrival of a customer. "Sebastian?" Thick bruising under his scarf; asphyxiation. New cut above his eyebrow. Sleep deprived. Blood on his scarf, not his. Nails chewed to the quick. Bruised knuckles. Gunpowder residue on his hand. Shallow breathing. Hyperaware. He stood abruptly, his face paling. "We need to leave. Now."

She ran out of the pub after him, the icy wind freezing her to the bone as soon as she stepped outside. "Get in the car." The urgency in his voice left no room for protest as she slid into the passenger seat. "Seb, what's going on?"

"You asked me if I ever thought you would be able to stop killing and I said no. Well, I lied. If any of us I think you'll be the only one to make it out. You're stronger than any of us could ever hope to be." He kept checking the rearview mirror almost as if he was expecting to be followed. "Sebastian, what did you do?"

"If you want out you have to know the truth," He pulled into an alleyway and parked. "Let me help you with whatever is going on. Please."

"Syn, listen to me. You know what the elites are capable of, you know they don't miss a target when given the orders to kill. How can you not see the pattern here? You blame us for hunting you down and trying to kill you when all we have been trying to do is protect you." Oh Syn, you always were so stupid. All your life the truth has been right in front of your face but you've been too stupid to see it. Kill shot, miss, kill shot, miss. Stupid, stupid girl. "W-what?"

"Think about it Syn! James cares aboutyou. He always has! He has been watching you since before you even knew who he was. Think about who it was that tortured you, who pushed you, who injected you, who caged you. James was the one who saved you. He sent me to protect you because that was my job. I received my orders and I followed through with them. Anna and Jackson Marx were your adoptive parents and they were just as crazy as your real parents, hell if not crazier. They were the ones who branded you. The M never stood for Moriarty, it always stood for Marx."

She ran a numb, shaking hand through her hair, her mind racing. She squeezed her eyes shut and retreated to the dark places in her mind palace where she kept everything locked away and chained up. It was James Moriarty standing over her when she was injected with the serum, wasn't it? No of course it wasn't! You were scared. Your parents told you to stay away from him and you didn't. Your mind was trying to come up with something that made sense.

"You could be lying to me right now," she said more to convince herself than anything. There was something off about him, an emotion present in his green eyes that she had never seen before. Was it fear? Paranoia maybe? "We both know you never deduced me as a liar. I never told you about me because I didn't want you to blame yourself. If the serum would've killed you they would've shut the entire program down. Years of research and it wasn't working on anyone. The serum took to you and everyone spent every waking second analyzing and testing you. Then they decided to try it out again. I was knocked out and shot up and for some reason the serum took to me too."

God can't you do anything right? Your freakish body accepts a serum that should've killed you, which in turn makes a man who was protecting you get dosed. You escape and kill the people you spent years with because you can't see a simple pattern. And now you realize you never had the slightest clue as to what was going on around you. All you can do is fuck up. Thank god someone finally decided to tell you the truth.

"Why are you telling me this?" He ignored her and opened the center console. Inside was a brown paper bag. "A onetime injection that will make everything permanent. It is the only and the last of the serum in existence." Her mouth watered at the sight of the blue filled syringe in the bag. "This," he said retrieving the syringe. "Is the only thing that matters right now."

"What do you mean last in existence? Sebastian what's going on?" "Syn-" "You've been asphyxiated, haven't slept in the last 36 hours I'd say, shot and killed…two people after being attacked; hyperawareness, the state of your fingernails and shallow breathing all suggest nervousness. And don't pretend that I didn't know you rerouted my call and used a recording to answer, I mean really it was almost hurtful for you to think I was stupid enough not to notice. You've been wanting to talk to me but didn't reach out because you knew I wouldn't answer. So, are we going to keep playing this game or are you going to tell me what you mean by this is permanent and the last in existence?"

His jaw clenched in annoyance. Of all the times he just wanted her to just drop it she wouldn't. Of course she wouldn't. This was Syn and if anyone knew him it was her. Hell, she probably knew him better than he did

"I can't tell you Syn. Telling you puts you in even more danger than you're in now but I promise you after tonight I'll tell you everything. Just, please, if you want you and your friends to survive these next few days you're going to want this in your system. Forget about this conversation, go back to Baker Street and protect your friends. You can't come back." Something in the back of her mind told her maybe he was right. Oh course he's right. Moriarty owes Sherlock a fall remember? IOU.

She saw it like this, before the serum she had been unable to protect her 'family' from the monsters who stole them away. Granted they weren't her real parents but that didn't matter, what mattered was that she could barely protect herself before the serum. Five people had attempted to help her along when she was living in the streets; five people died because she was unable to protect them. When she was working with Moriarty she was able to protect him, and Sebastian and the elites who, in her twisted little mind, were her family and her responsibility. Now here she was again, without the serum, and finding herself unable to protect her friends. She had to protect them. She had to.

As the needle pierced her skin the heat of the serum warmed her freezing body, the fire euphorically coursing through her veins again, her entire body buzzing with its high. Welcome back Syn.

"You good?" She nodded her head numbly, her mind not exactly with her at the moment as the serum raced through her. "Baker Street. I should probably get back. I have to do surveillance and-and stuff, other stuff." She cleared her throat and tried to concentrate. "Already done. The link's on your phone." "Right, thanks. For…this." He smiled sadly as she waved at him over her shoulder before disappearing. "Please," he pleaded silently. "Please, let her live. She doesn't deserve this."

Her head was swimming with thousands of thoughts and regrets and hundreds of questions, none of which she could quiet focus on at the moment. However there was one thing, one little thought that flitted across her mind that captured her full and immediate attention. It was desperation. She stopped dead in the middle of the sidewalk. Sebastian Moran was desperate. She turned on her heels and ran the short distance back to the alleyway the car had been parked moments ago to find it gone.

She had rehearsed in her head a million times what she was going to say when she returned back to the flat; she had gone after the men who had broken in and chased them for a few blocks until she lost them. It took one look from Sherlock to bring that entire plan crumbling to pieces. "Oh Syn, what have you done."

She broke down in the doorway and begged for forgiveness.

-/- It wasn't until early the next morning that she realized what Sebastian had done.

Lestrade came for her around 6 in the morning. There had been a mass murder at the remnants of the Queen mansion. "Wait, what do you mean remnants?" "You didn't hear? There was some sort of explosion down in the basement last night, the whole place came down." Sherlock and John both shot her a look and she shook her head. "It wasn't me. I didn't know anything about it. What about the Queen's?" The DI shrugged. "They're still pulling bodies out."

She rode in silence in Lestrade's car, the overwhelming urge to scream and cry growing in Syn as they pulled in. Just as he said, the massive house of horrors was no longer standing. Unburned bodies littered the yard, faces of people she had protected and shared a home with dead. She looked at the piles of bodies, some of them wore dark blue jackets, a color she now realized marked those who worked for the Queen's

There had been a fight, the elites had stormed after the fleeing scientists and thugs. Blood stained the grass making it obvious that not all of them had died right away. A head of brown hair caught her eye and before she knew it she was running because no matter how much she tried to deny it she just knew.

A single shot through the back killed Sebastian Moran.

Her heart ached in her chest looking at his lifeless body. But even through her blurry vision she could see the relief on his face, he knew it was coming. The paranoia at the pub, desperation in the car, this is the only and last of the serum in existence, he knew they were coming for him. She always assumed the roles would've been reversed, that she would be the one dead first whether it be murder or suicide. It wasn't supposed to happen like this.

Something's not right here. Why would Moriarty send his best men to their death? Sebastian was desperate in the car, if he knew this was going to happen why come? "Syn, come on there's been a kidnapping."

-/-

An uneasy feeling washed over Syn as they pulled in at the boarding school. The kids of Rufus Bruhl, the ambassador of the US, went missing and the "Reichenbach Hero," as Donovan put it, had been asked for specifically. It had been simple, the boy had been smart enough to rub linseed oil on the bottom of his feet to show us where the kidnapper had taken the two as well as the build of whoever had taken them. The trail had only gone for a short distance but the prints left behind had the potential to tell them everything they needed to know. The entire time she was there she couldn't shake the feeling that she was being watched but she could never find the source.

"Sherlock, this envelope that was in her trunk, there's another one." Syn looked up from the microscope that she was currently using to examine her blood. "What?" "On our doorstep," John explained as he rifled through his coat. "Found it today. Yes, and look at that." She abandoned the blood sample to stand beside Sherlock. "Look at that. The same seal." Inside the envelope were bread crumbs.

"Sebastian told me the day before he died that if you want you and your friends to survive these next few days you're going to want the serum in your system. He said go back to Baker Street and protect your friends. IOU, Moriarty is playing the game again. The book you found in the trunk was called Grimm's Fairy Tales. There's a story in it, Hansel and Gretel, the children follow a trail of breadcrumbs. The glycerin molecule it's PGPR."

As the three ran out of the morgue a chill ran up Syn's spine but when she turned around nothing was there.

-/-

It had been easy to find the children once the fifth element had been found. They had been at an abandoned sweets factory in Addlestone, eating themselves to death on mercury laced chocolates. He didn't even have to be there for the execution so why leave clues? Why make it easy to find the children? "Alright then, the professionals are finished if the amateurs want to go in and have their turn." It wasn't until the three stepped into the room where the little girl was did she understand why he didn't need to be at the factory.

He was planting a seed of doubt in everyone's head.

"Brilliant work you did finding those kids on just a footprint. It's really amazing. Unbelievable." Sally Donovan was the first to fall for it. Syn waited until Sherlock was far enough away to speak with her. "Whatever is going through that mind of yours is not true. Moriarty is putting doubt into everyone's head and you cannot let him win." The woman rolled her eyes. "Everyone knows you care about Sherlock, it doesn't surprise me that you'd try to defend the psychopath."

What if she's right? No! Stop it! You just don't want to believe it. Sherlock Holmes the brilliant consulting detective you love, a fake. A Psychopath. Murdering all those people and then showing off to you and John. "Where's Sherlock?" John stood on the curb trying to get a cab, Sherlock nowhere to be seen. "He said he needed to think." He could be working for Moriarty, this entire thing all a ruse to make you think you actually have a chance to get away from this life.

"No! Get out of my head!" She knotted her fingers in fistfuls of her hair, pacing in circles. Cold sweat began to prickle against her forehead and trickle down the back of her neck. Her hands, usually steady, were trembling in her hair. She couldn't breathe, her palms sweaty as she removed them from her hair and her heart felt as if it was trying to beat its way out of her chest. Her head spun and her lips and fingers prickled with the sensation of pins and needles, there was a horrendous ringing in her ears, it's all fake on repeat in her head. "John," she gasped.

"Syn, look at me you're having a panic attack. I'm going to touch you alright? I'm not going to hurt you. I'm just going to touch you." He gently reached out and placed a hand on her shaking shoulder, completely aware that at any moment she could snap him in two. Her glazed eyes darted back and forth between the doctor and the road. "Syn take a deep breath for me. Syn? Can you hear me?"

Her eyes focus on him for a moment. "Deep breath." There was a pause and for a moment John feared she was going to pass out. "Syn?" She took a deep, unsteady breath and exhaled. "Good, very good. Can you do that again for me? Deep breath." She did it again, this time a bit steadier. "Can you tell me what your name is?" She took another deep breath. "S-Syn." "And where are we, Syn?" She blinked a few times, her eyes coming back into focus. "Scotland Yard."

"Let's get in the cab alright?" She nodded, her arms wrapped tightly around her torso as John guided her in. They rode in silence, John keeping a watchful eye on the shaking woman beside him. "Bloody hell, stop the cab." Syn forced herself to get out and follow after John. On the side of the road one of the assassins lay dead.

-/-

Syn watched from the window as Lestrade and Donovan drove away. They had come to try to talk Sherlock into coming into the station but everyone in the room knew it was futile. They're going to come back with a warrant and prove it's him. He planted all the bodies. He'll confess or kill them and drag you and John along to solve the murder. No. You're wrong. Oh honey, if only you could see yourself. You've gotten rusty. "They'll be deciding." She glanced at Sherlock for a moment before turning her attention back to the window. "Deciding?" John asked. "Whether or not to come back with a warrant and arrest me." Syn began pacing between the window and door. "You think?" John looked out the window. "It's standard procedure."

You're going to lose everyone. Sherlock will go to jail, John will leave, Lestrade won't trust you anymore, Molly won't talk to you, and you're going to be all alone again. "You're worried they're right about me." "No," both she and John said at the same time. "That's why you two are so upset. You can't even entertain the possibility that they might be right. You're afraid you've been taken in as well."

"No I'm not," John mumbled turning away from Sherlock. "It can't be true. I refuse to believe it." "Moriarty is playing with your mind too," Sherlock slammed his fist down on the table. "Can't you see what's going on?"

"Moriarty planted a seed of doubt, something that's so easy to believe because no one wants to accept the fact that it's true. If he's sticking with the fairytale theme I'd go with Sir Boast-a-lot the noble knight who bragged and bragged and bragged until everyone got tired of it. They began to wonder if his stories were even true. No one can be as brilliant as you are and be making it up as they go along. You knew everything about me and there is no way you could've known any other way beside pure genius." The faintest hint of a smirk danced across his face.

"I know you're for real." Sherlock's gaze flickered back over to John. "One hundred percent?" "Well, nobody could fake being such an annoying dick all the time." Syn smiled, it would be the last one for a very, very, long time.

-/-

Car doors slam outside as people get out, the doorbell rings and someone pounds on the front door knocker as if the lights and sirens weren't enough indication of who was here. It's time. They're taking Sherlock away from you forever. As John runs out of the flat Sherlock calmly turns and picks up his scarf. Her throat burns and tears well up in her eyes but she forces them down. "I'm scared." It's out before she can stop herself and Sherlock freezes. "Syn-" She runs forward and throws her arms around his torso. "I'm sorry, Sherlock. I don't know how to make this stop."

His arms tentatively wrap around her and he places a small kiss on top of her head. "It's not your fault." She buries her face in his chest. 'I believe in you Sherlock Holmes and I always will." She pulls away from him as everyone comes racing up the steps, wiping away the few stray tears with the back of her hand.

"Sherlock Holmes, I'm arresting you on suspicion of abduction and kidnapping." The officer cuffing him uses more force than necessary to get his hands behind his back and Syn wants to skin him alive. Lestrade looks at the two sternly as Sherlock is lead out. "Don't try to interfere, or I shall arrest you too." "Lestrade please, you know Sherlock didn't do this." He walks out, ignoring her plea. Of course he's going to ignore you. He knows he's right. Sherlock did this.

Donovan comes in next with a smug smile plastered across her oh-so-punchable face. "Get. Out." She crossed her arms over her chest looking absolutely satisfied with herself. "Oh, I said it. 'Solving crimes won't be enough. One day he'll cross the line.' Now ask yourself: what sort of man would kidnap those kids just so he can impress us all by finding them?" Syn's body reacted on its own accord, her fist connecting with the side of Donovan's face with a satisfying crack.

That's how she finds herself slammed up against a police car beside Sherlock. "I really hate the bitch." Another body is slammed onto the car between her and Sherlock. "Joining us, John?" An officer behind them unlocks the cuff on Sherlock's left wrist and transfers it to John's right, effectively chaining them together. "Hey, what about me? Am I not allowed to have one hand free?" The officer looks at her warily before scuttling away. They know who you are idiot. "Hmm. Bit awkward, this." "Huh. No one to bail us out." "I was thinking more about our imminent escape."

A chill ran through her entire body and fear welled up within her. There's too many people. A loud squealing rips through the air, officers bending over and ripping out their ear pieces. Sherlock takes a pistol from the distracted officer behind them and begins backing away. "Ladies and Gentlemen, will you all please get on your knees." Syn ran from the car to stand beside John. Two shots ring out from the gun. "Now would be good!" Slowly all the officers begin to kneel. "Just-just so you're aware, the gun is his idea. I'm just a...you know." Sherlock transfers the gun to John head. "…my hostage." "I just really don't want to go to prison." Syn added.

"So what now?" "Doing what Moriarty wants-I'm becoming a fugitive. Run." The three sprinted down the road a chill running down her right side. "Go left!" Behind! A prick to the back of her neck made her stumble, the sedative making her knees weak. Run! A hand clapped over her mouth and her legs lazily kicked as she tried to fight off her attacker. The last thing she remembers is Sherlock and John disappearing from sight.

-/-

Syn's eyes snap open as soon as she realizes she is conscious, thankful for the dimness of where ever she was being held. Looking down her torso and feet are bound to the wooden chair with rope and her hands are zip tied behind her back. A gag is tied so tightly around her mouth she can taste the blood from her lips being pressed into her teeth. She could deal with all of this just as long as she could see. By the looks of it she was in a storage unit, the smell and sound of rats telling her it's an abandoned storage facility.

On the wall beside her was a cork board, pictures and articles on her, John, and Sherlock littering the board. Her eyes continued to take in her surroundings, she has plenty of room to fight and a camera above her head had been watching her. The door in front of her was opened and light flooded in, momentarily blinding her as four guards marched in and took their respective corners as the Queen's came in. "Hello baby girl." Felicity cooed as Oliver removed the gag from around her mouth. Syn shoots the dirtiest look she can at the woman and remained silent.

Her heart pounded painfully in her chest as she tried to keep that…thing from happening to her again. "Oh look honey! I told you Mr. Moran would deliver. She's all healed up already!" Oliver gripped her roughly by her chin and forced her to look at him, his hot breath reeking of whiskey. "What are you talking about?" She sounded so small and scared and so unlike herself. "It was easy, with Moriarty missing Sebastian was left in charge. A few mentions of you in various scenarios had him wrapped around our finger." Oh. "He knew you were going to kill him either way. So why not try to protect me the only way he knew how. Give me the serum and tell me the truth." Oliver smiled like the Cheshire cat, his eyes completely mad. "Excellent!" He pulled a pocket knife from his back pocket and began circling her.

She strained in her bindings finding little give. Her eyes darted over to the guards, statistics running through her head. Look closely. They were in navy the same color as all the others, stoic faces, rigid posture, heavily armed but no guns. Interesting. "So it must've been hard hearing the news about-fuck!" He drove the knife into her shoulder and viciously ripped it out. "Your house of horrors being blown up," She hissed in pain as he slashed the blade across her cheek, narrowly missing her eye. "I just have one question. How did you kill Sebastian?" Felicity pulled a small vial of what looked like water out of her pocket.

"Curare laced bullets. No matter how hard you fight you can't stop yourself from being choked to death by your own body. It was rather interesting to watch it take place, he begged for us to leave you alone. In fact, your name was the last thing to pass though his lips." Oliver trailed the knife down her neck just hard enough to draw blood. "Will you stop that! Jesus Christ! What is the point of this? A little family reunion?" She jerked against the rope again but nothing happened. "You're not going to kill me or you would've done it already so why am I here?"

"Just having some family bonding time with our precious daughter." Syn rolled her eyes and tried to ignore the throbbing in her shoulder. "Wait a minute, you said Moriarty was missing and Sebastian was left in charge. You wouldn't know that unless…" Her eyes flickered to the closest guard in front of her. He nodded his head, it was barely there but she saw it. "Unless what?" Oliver drove the knife into her side this time and she cried out.

"Unless…you're working with him. You could've taken me any night but you wait until tonight to do it. Moriarty told you to take me and Sebastian knew what was happening. He didn't want me in the way tonight because I know something that could destroy his entire game don't I? Something I could tell Detective Inspector and the press that could destroy everything Moriarty has done." Felicity nodded her head in approval. "Look at how smart she is Ollie, she gets that from you." She said lovingly.

"So what's the plan? You kill me? Leave me here for the rats?" Natural light was beginning to filter in through the hall. How long had she been knocked out? "No, sadly none of that is going to happen. We wait here until we're given a signal that it's safe to move and then we're going to be one big happy family again." "And let me guess, this 'big happy family' consist of me in a dog cage again while you continue to run tests on me? Oh joy." Look at the guard.

The man's gaze began flickering between her and Oliver as he walked in front of her again, twirling the knife around his fingers. She waited until he was behind her to swing her hands back and catch him in the crotch. The flurry of events that happened next would leave her completely speechless. As Oliver fell the guards rushed forward two pinning down Oliver and beating him senseless, one cutting away the ropes tying her to the chair, and one fighting off a very livid Felicity.

As soon as Syn was freed she took the chair and smashed it over Felicity with a thud. "Pin her down!" The guard that had previously been fighting her wasted no time pinning her hands behind her back. The vial of curare was unharmed and she knew exactly what she was going to do. "Flip her over." The guard that had freed Syn came over to assist her, hold down Felicity's legs. "Don't kill Oliver, not yet. He's mine." She shouted over her shoulder. Felicity's eyes were blown wide in fear and confusion and she was enjoying every moment of it.

A few drops of curare to a gash on her head and Felicity Queen was gasping for air. Her gasps echoed through the storage unit and soon Oliver Queen was joining her until they both fell silent. She looked over the guards carefully, prepared to fight if they turned on her. "Syn, my name is David Demye," the guard who untied her began. "This is Alec Yatz, and Gio and Spencer Kvaternick. We were the new recruits you trained a few years back when you worked for Moriarty." If she hadn't been in so much pain she might've laughed. "I remember you all. Sebastian sent you to save my ass didn't he?"

"Yes ma'am." They all said at the same time. "Thank you. If you ever need anything don't hesitate to call me." "Ma'am it's my understanding that whatever is happening is taking place at St. Bartholomew's Hospital." Alec said. "Thank you!" She yelled over her shoulder as she ran out.

-/-

Thankfully the storage facility she had been held at wasn't too far out of town. She was able to find a cab in just a few minutes. She repeatedly tried calling John and Sherlock but neither of them answered and it made dread pool in her stomach. She was racing against an invisible clock and the closer to St. Bart's she got the worse the feeling became. What was Moriarty going to do? What if he killed Sherlock and John? Oh you know he has. He's killed them all and you're too late.

John was standing in the middle of the road when her cab pulled up, his head craned up and cell phone pressed against his ear. "John?" She followed his gaze up and screamed. "SHERLOCK!" She watched helplessly as he fell down, down, down, until he hit the pavement with a sickening thud.

Four lives were taken in total that day.

Sherlock Holmes'.

James Moriarty's.

John Watson's.

And her's.

It wasn't until the next day when she found it impossible to cry anymore tears, and her voice had gone hoarse from sobbing that she looked at her phone.

1 text message on January 15th .

Forgive me -SH

Thanks so much for reading! I will be uploading another chapter soon! Please let me know what you think!