Disclaimer: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets is owned by J.K. Rowling and Scholastic Press. This is a parody fanwork by fans for fans and no money was made off of the creation of this fanwork.

AN: Tom's words will indicated by being Bolded and Italicized. This chapter is a direct aftermath of the last chapter and as such contains frank talk about sex and sexual organs. AKA, Tom gives Ginny the sex talk. Enjoy!

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The Super Secret Diary of Ginevra Molly Weasley

by FanficAllergy & RoseFyre

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September 24, 1992

Dear Diary,

So I asked my mother about the clitoris like you suggested and I got a howler for my trouble. I am so mad at you right now!

I'm sorry, dear Ginny, I did not realize that your mother would take offense to that question.

Well she did! Thank Merlin that Errol is so old that he didn't get there until breakfast was almost over and most of the other students had left. I would have just died if Harry had heard it. It's bad enough that Draco Malfoy and Meggie McLaggen were there, if Harry had been there I would have just curled up and died of shame right there and then!

Then it is most fortuitous that Mr. Potter was not present.

And you know what the worst thing is?

No.

I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIND THE CLITORIS!

Then, I suppose, it is my duty to tell you.

Yes. It is. You owe me.

It would be too much to hope your parents have had the talk with you, correct?

The talk?

No, of course they haven't. Such is my luck. Well, I suppose that is where we must begin. Tell me, dear Ginny, do you know where babies come from?

Wrackspurts?

No...

Not wrackspurts...

What are wrackspurts?

Some weird creature my friend Luna from back home mentioned, she said they make adult's brains go all fuzzy and that leads to babies.

I see. No, Ginny, your friend Luna was mistaken. Babies do not come from wrackspurts; they come from sex.

I can't believe you said that word!

Sex? It's not a bad word, Ginny. Merely a word that defines a natural act that most creatures engage in.

Mum says it's a bad word and that Fred and George shouldn't talk about it, especially in front of me.

Your mother sounds like, pardon the expression, an old stick in the mud. Her prudish behaviour is most unbecoming for a mother of seven children.

Hey! My mum's not that bad!

She sent you a howler for asking a question, she has failed to inform you of how children are conceived, and she has likely withheld other pertinent information from you on the grounds that you are "too young" to know about such things. That, my dear Ginny, is the epitome of prudish behaviour. I suspect she writes letters to the editor of the Daily Prophet telling him to "think of the children."

Have you met my mum?

No, I don't particularly need to. I know her type. She is doing you a disservice by trying to shield you from learning about sex and any topic related to that. And I don't particularly appreciate the fact that her failure to do her duty as a parent and educate you on this topic has left me responsible for your sexual education.

I guess... So what's sex got to do with finding the clitoris?

Pretty much everything. Have you ever touched yourself between your legs?

Only to wash.

Please, forgive me for this next question Ginny, but it is germane to this discussion. Did it feel good when you washed down there?

Kinda? It's pretty sensitive down there and soap kinda stings.

The sensitivity you felt down there is due in part to the clitoris. The clitoris is a little bundle of nerves that can make a woman feel good. It is located just above your urethra and above the opening to the vagina.

Okay. What's the urethra?

It is the place where urine is vacated from the body.

Huh?

It's where pee comes out.

Ew. And what's the vagina? I think I've heard the word before but I thought it was a naughty word.

It is not. It is the correct anatomical term for the passageway that leads to your uterus, which is also known as the womb, which is where a baby grows. There is nothing vulgar about the word.

So how does the baby get inside of the womb?

From sex. When a man and a woman have sex, he puts his penis inside her vagina and ejaculates semen into her. That semen, which in the vernacular can be referred to as spunk, then joins with that woman's egg and, thus, an infant is conceived. The fetus then grows inside of the woman for approximately nine months until she gives birth. However, not every sexual act leads to pregnancy for a variety of reasons that are too numerous to go over right now. Humans have sex because it is enjoyable and not just for procreation, although evolutionarily and religiously that is the primary purpose of sex.

That's disgusting!

I do not disagree with that assessment. However, many humans, especially teenagers, seem to enjoy copulation. In part, because stimulating the head of the penis or the clitoris, if done correctly, can lead to a very pleasurable sensation called an orgasm.

That sounds weird.

Trust me, my dear, it is enjoyable. Luckily, one does not have to have a partner in order to experience an orgasm. All one needs is a bit of privacy and a deft hand.

Okay. I still say that sounds weird.

You did ask about the clitoris. I am merely imparting the information that your mother should have told you.

So...when Katie Bell said that George couldn't find the clitoris, that meant...they're having sex?

Most probably.

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! I'll never be able to look at George and Katie the same way again!

If it makes you feel any better, your parents have had sex at least six times, likely more.

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! This is worse than kissing! But I suppose I should thank you, diary, for telling me this since Mum wouldn't.

Please, I feel we're good enough friends now. Call me Tom.

...You're a BOY?

Oh Ginny. This is the diary of T.M. Riddle. Tom Marvolo Riddle. Who did you think you were talking to?

I don't know, I thought you were just...an object!

I am an object. A very special object and my name is Tom. It is always polite to call things by their proper name.

I'm sooooooooo embarrassed! I can't believe I talked about sex with a boy!

No need to be, my dear Ginny. After all, we are very good friends, are we not? In the spirit of friendship, I am willing to share an embarrassing time from my life with you.

What do you mean share? Aren't you just gonna tell me?

No, my dear, it is time I show you another of my secrets. I can bring your consciousness into mine and allow you to experience my memory.

You can do that?

Oh, Ginny. You have so much to learn.

oOo

AN:

Yeah, we went there.

Tom totally gave Ginny the sex talk because Molly wouldn't. And before you go on about us bashing Mrs. Weasley think for a moment about how she treats Harry, Ron and Hermione at various points in the books, and even sends howlers, which are, in our opinion, emotionally abusive. She can't tell her twin sons apart which FanficAllergy finds appalling since she's had many identical twin friends and their parents, siblings, and good friends never had trouble differentiating between the two. Their mother should be able to. We can't see her giving Ginny the sex talk yet because she'd want to shield her baby girl rather than realizing that this lack of information does more harm than good.

We do see Tom as being primarily asexual and more interested in power than sex, but as a 17 year old boy who is popular in his school it is very likely he's had a sexual experience or two. Sex historically has been used as a tool to gain power for eons and Tom would be willing to wield any tool to gain power. Also, Tom craves knowledge and he'd likely have sex just to say he's tried it.

Additionally, we deliberately did not have Tom reveal his name or gender prior to this because if you are an 11 year old girl, you wouldn't have a sex talk with a boy, especially a shy and traditional girl like Ginny.

We hope you enjoyed!