A/N: What another drabble? Oh yes...It's just so easy to write them..maybe I should shorten my story chapters so i update faster...what do you think?

Disclaimer: It's been less than 24 hours..what do you think?

Music: P.S I Hate You-Boy Talks Trash

Poisonous

~Mail~

So many times I had dreamed of telling him those words, they'd somehow come out now, I meant to apologize, to tell him I wouldn't ever bleed again if that's what it took, to be his dog and instead I'd apparently lost my mind.

His expression wasn't what I thought it would be, warm and surprised, but not upset..not at all. I shivered suddenly, "Mel-lo?"

He smiled, fully, truly smiled, and pushed his fingers through my hair, running the strands through them and chuckling softly to himself. To be fully honest it kind of scared me, Mello wasn't usually like this.

"Well shit Mattie, I thought you knew...I've always loved you." He grinned and kissed my forehead, leaving me staring at his chest uncomprehendingly.

"What?" I finally gasped, looking at him, "but...but you can't!" I cried, suddenly desperate for him to take back those words, to say he didn't love me. I wanted him to, oh god did I want him to, but he couldn't.

His gaze shifted, darkened, "Are you saying I don't know how to love?" I swallowed hard and shook my head, terrified that he would just get angrier if I explained.

"Matt, you'd better explain then, because from where I stand it looks like you're trying to pull shit." He looked almost hurt...but mostly pissed.

I shuddered and leaned back from his touch, looking at him with a brooding expression as he waited patiently, "Mel...you shouldn't love me...I'm just..Matt."

I shifted uncomfortable and his eyes narrowed, "Spit it out Matt." his voice was harsh, but there was still that pain and uncertainty in his eyes and it made me guilty I had caused it.

"Well...it's like this...you're this amazing, beautitful ball of fire that came from some place..heaven maybe, like a bright streak of light and I'm like...the ant you stepped on this morning and smeared across some grass." I shrugged, it tore me in half to tell him this because once he heard it he'd realize how true it was and I'd lose any chance I ever had of being with him.

"You're an angel Mel, even if you don't see it, I do...I'm like poison a slow killer. If you get to close I'll drain you of your light because no one as perfect or absolutely brilliant as you should ever even notice someone as useless as me."

My voice was kind, trying to help him understand, but I knew I had to get out of there...fast. I looked around wildly for some excuse to leave and then back at the one I loved most.

He was just staring at me uncomprehendingly so I sighed and stood up, gently moving him back to walk toward the door, "You're almost out of chocolate..."