The Super Secret Diary of Ginevra Molly Weasley

by Fanfic Allergy

What do adolescent girls write about in their diaries? Now, imagine you're Tom Riddle and the only obstacle between you and world domination is an awkward eleven year old girl with a fangirl crush, a Harry Potter Doll, several older brothers, and absolutely no idea about human reproduction. You might just feel sorry for Tom Riddle if he weren't such a manipulative bastard.

18. November 15th, 1992

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets is owned by J.K. Rowling and Scholastic Press. This is a parody fanwork by fans for fans and no money was made off of the creation of this fanwork.

AN: Tom's words will indicated by being Bolded and Italicized

oOo

The Super Secret Diary of Ginevra Molly Weasley

by FanficAllergy & RoseFyre

oOo

November 15th, 1992

Dear Tom,

You're a boy, right?

Technically, I am a journal but I identify as masculine.

Good enough. And you can keep a secret, right?

I believe we've already discussed this, but yes, I can.

Brilliant. So, I have question.

Inquire away.

What do boys like? I mean, what do boys like in a girl?

You mean like a girlfriend?

Yes! Exactly! I knew you would understand, Tom.

My dear Ginny, boys are as disparate as girls are. Each boy is an individual and will have his own likes and dislikes in what he seeks in a mate.

I know, but there's got to be some things that all boys like, right? I mean, all boys like Quidditch, right?

No, dear, not all boys like Quidditch. I, myself, am indifferent to the sport.

Oh. So is there anything that all boys like?

I suppose that most boys appreciate the female form, especially those that are symmetrical and proportionate.

Huh?

Boys like pretty girls.

Oh! Do you think I'm pretty, Tom?

I think you are attractive for your age, although you are a bit young for me.

I wasn't asking about you!

I did not think you were, however, I can only speak to my tastes and not those of another boy. Harry Potter, for instance.

Was I that obvious?

Only to me, Ginny.

I just want know what I can do to make Harry Potter notice me. He's got friends he doesn't need me for that. And Ron's going to be over-protective and jealous no matter what I do.

I see. Perhaps you can tell me what Harry Potter seems to like and we can form a plan of attack.

Will you really help me with this, Tom?

Of course, my dear!

Thank you so much! I've never had a friend like you! No one's ever understood me like you, Tom. You're the best, Tom!

Indeed.

oOo

AN:

This conversation was sadly based on actual conversations that we've either experienced personally or heard adolescents have. Just a word of advice, don't ask your friend of the opposite sex what their gender likes. You're never going to get the answer you're looking for.

But you know Ginny would totally exploit the fact that she's got a teenage boy in her pocket, in a non-skeevy way, to help her get Harry. You kind of have to wonder just how those conversations actually went in canon. This is our interpretation.