Mother and son bonding

It had been almost a year since Ben had proposed to Amy. They were both college graduates now and Amy was now looking for teaching positions, she wanted to be a high school English. Ben went into the hospitality industry, he was very good with people and he wanted to run his own hotel. The reason why Amy chose to teach English is because she wanted to help teenagers express themselves through writing. She wanted people to really value their education and not let relationships or the pressure to have sex over rule their high school experience. To do this day she wasn't sure why she had sex with Ricky, sure he was attractive but when she looks back at that day she blames her own naivety about band camp. Ricky had said all these nice things about her and then he made her feel like she had to stay and she stupidly let her naivety overrule her judgement. She wanted to teach teenage girls to not be as naïve as her and believe in themselves, so they don't feel so pressured by a guy. But having John wasn't the worst thing, he really was a blessing. She couldn't believe that she was twenty two years old and had a seven year old son. He came into her room as she was getting ready, proudly wearing his little suit. He looked more like father as he got older, but he still looked like his mother. Amy smiled as she saw John walk into her room.

"Hey buddy you look so handsome in your suit. Did Ben help you pick it out?" Amy said, and then kissed John's forehead.

"Yeah he did, and daddy helped me put my suit on and he taught me how to tie. I can do it all by myself now. "John said proudly.

"That's great buddy, why don't you show me?" Amy said. John undid his tie and re-tied it again, he made a good effort and Amy chuckled at his enthusiasm when he finally got it tied neatly. She clapped her hands and gave her son a huge hug.

"Mommy why aren't you married to daddy? All my friends at school think Ben is my daddy whenever he picks me up. When I say he isn't and is your boyfriend they look at me funny because all their mommies and daddies are married." John said.

Amy took a deep breath, because there were times were Ben would pick him up or Ricky or herself and children would ask questions. It was true most kids parents were married, and Amy and Ricky hadn't had the birds and the bees talk with John he was too young. They had just told him that when people get married they have babies. But now he was realising that his situation was far from normal. Amy contemplated in her head what she would tell her son. She couldn't exactly say that she had a one night stand with his father and he basically ditched her. Amy took a deep breath before she spoke to her son.

"John when I met your daddy I liked him because he was handsome, kind and funny. He was also really nice to me and then we spent some time together and then we had you. I was very young and shy when I met your dad and we thought just thought were in love and that's how we had you and just because you're daddy and I am not married, we love you very much and that's not going to change. I want you to promise me something John be sure you love a girl with all your heart and then marry her and have children if you want."

"So you thought that you loved daddy but you really didn't? And that's why you didn't get married." Amy chuckled at her son's quick wit. He was a smart and inquisitive kid.

"Yeah exactly you're daddy and I quickly realised that we were just infatuated with each other, but we weren't in love with each other. We realised that we were only meant to be friends and nothing more." Amy said. John nodded, slowly comprehending what his mother was saying.

"So how do you know when you're in love?" Amy thought about her first date with Ben and smiled at the memory. Even though she was pregnant and didn't want to be, Ben made her happy and she knew that she found the right guy for her.

"Well, I knew when I first met Ben I knew that he was the right person for me. We were both shy and liked the same things and when we were together it felt right. He was funny, sweet, charming, he really cared about me and you too before you were even born. When I was pregnant with you I was so young and scared and Ben made feel strong and helped me through it, because when I was at school people weren't very nice to me and they made fun of Ben because he wasn't your daddy. But that's what made me love him more he was always there for did have our problems, and date other people but we always went back to each other. " Amy said as she looked down at John who was sitting down at her lap. John looked down towards the ground he didn't realise how much his mother had gone through. He also couldn't understand why people would be mean to his mother and Ben.

"I'm sorry mommy"

"It's not your fault sweetie; I just don't want you to go through what I or your daddy and Ben went through. I don't want you to go through any of the pain that we endured."

"I think I'm in love with Katie, I even made her a card for Valentines. I think I'm gonna marry her she's perfect .John said innocently. Amy chuckled at her son's remarks he was a bit of a ladies man like his father.

"John I think you're a little too young to make such a big decision. You should always be nice and respect girls. You don't want to go around telling to me girls you love them and then break their hearts". Amy told her son sternly.

"Okay mommy, I'll make sure that I'm careful with girls'"

"Do you feel better about me marrying Ben now?"

"Yes mommy I love Uncle Ben and I feel like the luckiest boy, because I feel like I've got two daddies"

"I'm so happy you feel that way buddy". Amy rubbed her son's head and smiled at him in awe and then kissed his forehead. She felt that she had explained how he was conceived in the best way she could, and still had years to give him the birds and the bees talk.

"Let's get you out of that suit we don't want it to get dirty before the wedding next week. Then we can go to the arcade, how does that sound?" Amy said.

"Okay I'll go, get changed!" John said as he was sprinting off to his room but then he stopped and turned to his mother. Amy let out a large breath, relieved that conversation was over it went over a lot better than she thought. Sure she had to alter the details a little, but she didn't to ruin her son's innocence. She sometimes felt guilty about the way John was conceived, and that's why she was so angry at herself after he was born because she thought he deserved better than to be brought into her mess of a family, and that's why she had considered adoption. She wasn't afraid to admit that she was a bitch after John was born her hormones were out of whack and she had actually gone through postpartum depression, but she didn't know it at the time it was Ashley of course who had pieced it all together.

Sophomore year

Ashley was furious at Amy for taking away John for a few days without even telling Ricky. Ashley wasn't Ricky's biggest fan, but he was a good father and she was tired of Amy's crap and couldn't take her complaining anymore. She couldn't get away with this mean attitude towards everyone who was trying to help her she needed to grow up.

"Just shut up Amy, I know you're going through a hard time being a mother and everything but God Amy I'm on your side, mom and dad is, Ricky, and all your friends are, gosh it's no wonder why Ben cheated on you. You need to stop taking out all your anger on us, and stop acting like John is some kind of burden. You're lucky you haven't dropped out of school or anything. You need help these mood swings of yours are getting out of hand because sooner or later you may just alienate everyone around you. I think you need help Amy. "

Amy looked stunned at her she was shocked angry, hurt, upset but mostly ashamed at herself. She was so angry at the world- especially Ricky. God she hated him for getting her pregnant, but mostly she resented him for stepping up and taking the responsibility so easily when he wasn't there for her and didn't even want the baby. It wasn't fair he looked like the good guy despite his man whoring ways and she was the self-absorbed angry overly emotional teenager mother. He still got to have a life, but why did she still feeling like she was being punished.

"I know Ashley you're right I haven't been a good mother. I don't even like myself it shouldn't be so hard, I love John but sometimes I just get so mad at him. I know that sounds awful but it's just how I feel. My own son even likes Adrian better and she hates me how is that fair? God I hate her! John didn't even call me mama he just waved at her. You know she even had the nerve to say that she would be like a second mom to him " Amy exclaimed while sobbing. Ashley pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly she cried until she fell asleep. " You don't know what it's like Ashley I had a plan, I wish never had sex. I'm so jealous of you still have your whole life ahead of you."

" Amy I know Adrian isn't the nicest person in the world and to tell you the truth I don't trust her that much either. But whether you like it or not you have to make peace with her because she is going to be around. And if you don't want Ricky to take you to court then you have to settle things with her."

" Ashley, I know but I don't want John to grow up like Ricky, and you know what his relationship is like with other women if I leave John with him alone at that apartment I can't keep an eye on Ricky see what he's up to. As dysfunctional as our family is I care about John's moral compass". Ashley emphasised with her sister.

" Amy I don't think will bring over women to sleep with while he's taking care of John. I know he's not the most trustworthy guy but he's a good dad. I don't think John will turn out like him, because you'll make sure of it."

" I don't know Ashley I hope that my son doesn't end up treating women the same way, even though it's not Ricky's fault being the way that he is, but I still worry about John".

Her parents came into her bedroom after hearing all the yelling, they looked confused and then Ashley explained everything that had happened.

" This is why I wanted her to give the baby up for adoption, having a baby at 15 really takes an emotional toll on a young woman that they are just not prepared for. "Anne said.

" I know, but she kept the baby and I can understand that's everything is overwhelming for but she's just so not herself, she's not that sweet Amy I can't even remember the last time she smiled." George remarked.

"Well we can't keep letting her gone on like this I mean I know she is a new mother but this isn't normal. She has a problem; I think its post-partum depression or something new moms get. She needs help" Ashley stated rather staunchly.

"What, no there is nothing wrong with my daughter, she is just going through a rough patch, and she'll be back to her old self again in no time" George said trying to convince himself. Anne and Ashley gave him a patronizing look. George was against the whole idea about mental problems, he was also very much against the concept of therapy.

"Geez dad this isn't some baby blues thing, Amy is always so up and down. She is mostly down and it's not good for John and not to mention everyone else around. "Ashley said.

After Amy's breakdown her parents and Ashley had convinced her to go see . They had called Ricky and told him to come over and stay the night to look after John and of course he was more than willing to help out. When they had explained the situation, he couldn't help but feel guilty about everything even though he knew deep down that it wasn't his fault. Everyone took the challenges they had in life in different ways and he hoped that things would work out for her. Amy, John and Ricky weren't exactly a family in the traditional sense but they were all bound to each other.

Amy, sat down on that big green couch in 's room, she sat silently for a few minutes before really saying anything. She was afraid of what to say or do and could tell she was nervous, so he began to speak.

Dr. Fields: Amy, I can't imagine what you're going through, at such a young age to have a child is such a challenge. I'm sure you feel like no one else knows what you're going through. But what would you say is the most difficult thing about being a teen parent.

Amy: I don' know t it's the fact that you have to give up your life for your child. All the stuff like holding the baby, hearing the baby cry and all that, has been stuff I've been able to deal with that. It's giving up my personal life that's the hard part, like playing the French horn, being in the marching band, not being able to go anywhere this summer because I have John or having a real relationship with a boyfriend. Its small stuff like that which I miss the most, I can't go to all of places I want to go to because I have a baby. I mean I can't just take off and travel to all these different places with my son, it scares me that I'm to miss out on so much of the world think for me being selfless and just giving up my world for John has been the most difficult thing. I still feel as if I'm selfish and I just can't help it.

Dr. Fields: Wow, that's some great insight Amy and what you're saying is right. It's not the physical things that you have to do for the baby that are taking a toll on you, but it's yourself, you are your own worst enemy. You will not see a change unless you confront these demons that you have, and here is a safe place to do it. For the first fifteen years of your life, you're world revolved around you, but now that's changed and will you can still have dreams, your child comes before you. That is something, which some adults cannot handle.

Amy: Does it get easier?

Dr. Fields: I can't lie and say that parenting gets easier; you just have to as a parent learn to compromise with the others and always do what is best for John. You need to accept that you made a mistake and just focus on making the best for John in the complicated environment you're in. I know many would say your situation is ideal because you have the support of your family, friends, Ricky and a job. They would think that you don't have the right to complain or get angry, but like you said it's not the physical toll that is hard about being a parent it's the emotional toll. Those people can say what they like because at the end of the day they are not the ones who are in your in position and they have no right to judge how you feel. But coming here every week would be good for you to just vent and let out in a space where no one can get hurt or judge you. Give yourself an hour week to be alone, and do something you enjoy so that you don't end up resenting John.

Amy: Yeah, I think I need to stop letting my past control me, but it's easier said than done. I just know that I don't want to feel like this, it's exhausting being so angry.

Dr. Fields: I think you're moving in the right direction, and you've made a huge break through today because now you've admitted what your problems are. Everything that you and mother told about your mood swings are all signs of postpartum depression. But I feel as if you just need a safe place to vent, and if you are still feeling depressed we'll talk about other treatments.

Amy: Thank you, I'll see you next week.

Dr. Fields had talked to Amy about hormone replacement therapy, but she felt that the therapy sessions and going back to playing her French horn helped. Playing music was a release for her that she couldn't describe. Everyone around her had noticed her calmer demure, and how much her attitude had change. She wasn't perfect of course, but whenever she felt like exploding at someone, she would go to the bathroom and splash some cold water on her face or just sit in her room for a few moments. She also began to trust Ricky more after she actually discussed her worries about leaving John alone with him in the apartment, he was a little offended at first that she would assume he would bring women over to have sex with while taking care of their son, but he then understood where she was coming from. Later that Amy went over to confront Adrian, at lunch time. " I really really love you John" Amy said to herself.

The brunette worked over nervously to the Latina. Adrian looked up at Amy and furrowed her eye brows looking slightly perplexed. Amy had never willingly approached Adrian.

" Hi Adrian, can I sit here?"

" Uhh, yeah sure take a seat" Adrian said as she moved her bag, she was saving the table for Grace but she hadn't arrived yet.

" Look I think we should um clear the air, so things won't be so tense anymore. I'm sorry for I said about you when I saw you holding John, I really shouldn't talk like that in front of my son, it's wrong. It's also wrong of me to call you that especially since Ben got beat up defending my honour when someone called me a slut. It was stupid and immature of me to do that."Adrian nodded, accepting her apology.

" It's just you don't know what it's like Amy, I'm so jealous of you, because you're connect to Ricky because of John and I want to marry Ricky in the future so I want to be close to John as well."

" I know you love Ricky and he loves you, but I felt like you want to replace me as John's mother and I know it's selfish for me to not want John to connect but I'm afraid that what will happen." Adrian was astonished to say the least , she couldn't deny the fact that she was jealous of Amy and made digs at her about being a mom, so it no wonder why Amy felt that Amy when she Adrian was with John. Adrian hadn't thought about the effects of her comments on Amy too, she was just too jealous to care.

" Amy I'm sorry you felt that way, that was never my intention, although I can probably understand why you did feel like I was trying to replace you as John's takes two to tango and I haven't exactly been that nice to you either, so I can't really blame you for treating me the way you have.I know that I have a way of pushing people's buttons." Adrian said looking slightly remorseful and then let out a chuckle.

" No Adrian there's no excuse to be mean, I've been mean to everyone around because I was just so jealous of everyone else around me who could do whatever they want and it selfish and immature."

" Well since we've both admitted that we were in the wrong, maybe we could just stop being jealous and be actual friends"Adrian said. Amy smiled "Yeah, I'd like that Adrian, at least for John anyway"

Amy discovered that while being a teen parent was a rollcoster of emotions but her life wasn't over, it was just different to your average sixteen year old.

"I think I should get Uncle Ben a present, because he's going to marry you and he's daddy best friend. He also helps me with my homework sometimes when you're not home and sometimes he gives me extra dessert when you're not home."

Amy smiled at her son's thoughtfulness but she made a mental note to herself to scold Ben when he came home. She decided to text Ben to tell him they are going out.

To: Ben

From: Amy

Hey I'm going out with John to the arcade. I hope you're job interview went well today and I know you're little secret with John ;) I love you, bye

Ben looked smiled when he saw Amy's text message and he knew she would tell him off about something to do with John. He replied saying that he would be working late at the butcher shop and would probably not join them.

Amy and John went to the arcade and John played with the coin operated machines, the ones where you could win a toy and he played the fishbowl games which were the ones that you throw a ball in one of the many fishbowls lined up and if you get it you win a goldfish. John eventually got there at the end, when he started focusing on the centre of the bowl while he was throwing. He took his goldfish in the plastic bag, he was ecstatic that he was going to have a pet. They then had some pizza for lunch and later went to the mall to find an actual fish tank and some fish food. As they were walking down the shops, John found the camera shop and decided to go in. The photos globes with the glitter when you shake it, he was fascinated with them. Amy then had a perfect idea for a gift that John could buy with his pocket money for Ben.

"Hey John I have an idea, why don't you get Ben this globe as a present?" Amy said when she bent down to talk to John.

"Okay and we can put a photo of me and you in it, mommy"

"Yeah I'm sure Ben will love that, he can put it on his office desk." Amy said. They both went to the photo booth and snapped a few shots together, and when they finally chose the photo Amy opened the globe and neatly put the photo inside.

Once they got home, they saw that Ben had arrived, and he had brought wings from the butcher shop. They all enjoyed their wings at dinner time, it wasn't until after dinner that John had given Ben his photo globe and she watched his eyes light up, and he hugged John as tightly as ever. Ben was really happy with the gift, and couldn't stop staring at it, that was his little family. He then saw his soon to be wife washing dishes and wrapped his arms around her waist. Amy turned around and looked at him and smiled.

"John picked out the gift today isn't that sweet" Amy said.

"Yeah it is, thank you but I also noticed that he had a good fish that he called Frankie. How long do you think that will last?" Ben said, letting out a chuckle.

"We'll see I mean I think it will be good for him and teach him to be responsible but of course we don't know how long that will last." Amy said sarcastically. Ben just laughed and kissed her nose.

"How are you feeling about next week? "Amy asked.

"I've been ready to legally marry you since you were 15" Ben said.

"Sometimes I forget that we did get illegally married, we're crazy" Amy said

"Crazy in love, and we still are except we are just older and wiser" Amy kissed Ben and they went to bed, holding each other's hands.

A/N: I know there isn't a lot about Ben in this chapter but I wanting to focus on Amy and John bonding because I felt that we didn't really see a lot of scenes of just those two alone. I also wanted to explain Amy's drastic personality change in season 2 wasn't really explained at all and her bad attitude wasn't really addressed and I found that strange. I also added some extra stuff to chapter 1, so please re-read it.