Hello everybody, two exams down, 13 more to go. But I'm still working as fast as ever because your reviews really please me. I wish I could say the same for my other story, I don't even feel like working on it when I don't get reviews so it's going pretty slow but I see this one gets much more readers so it's my main focus. Thanks to all the reviewers, especially the usual ones, Aoi-Mizu and Dareth.

Chapter 5

Wolfie: Hello everyone, I'm back. Did you miss me?

Halibel: No, and why are you talking to others, Stark and Lilynette are at the back and won't come unless someone has questions or dares for them.

Wolfie: That's not nice. I'm talking to my readers too you know?

Halibel: Whatever, let's just go on. I'm in a bad mood and needs something to distract me.

Wolfie: Me too, the weather is so cold now that I go to school with a blanket, how cold is that?

Halibel: You haven't been to Hueco-Mundo yet, there's no sun outside Las-Noches so it's freezing but there's not nearly enough water in the air for ice and snow.

Wolfie: Good point, your attacks must be pretty useless there.

Halibel: Yes, that's why I'm so good with swordwomanship. I've got the hang of things so I'll do the first introduction…

Wolfie: All right but do it properly, you have to make them feel welcome.

Halibel: All right, first reviewer for the chapter is, facelessgunslinger. Why does that name make me think of Stark?

Stark: Because I am a gunslinger duh!

Halibel: Go back to your room, welcome facelessgunslinger, nice clothes.

Wolfie: That's not what I meant, how do you even know what clothes he/she is wearing. I meant, saying something like thanks for reviewing or nice name.

Halibel: Fine, I'll just pass. On to the questions.

Wolfie: That's my line, get your own line.

Facelessgunslinger: Awesome story! I too am making a halibel/ichigo story, it involves Halibel going to school with Ichigo and I was wondering how you would react if Ichigo asked you on a date?

Halibel: I'd be quite surprised, he doesn't seem like the type to just ask people on dates and I'm a hollow, we don't have hearts, but if this was some kinda mission I'd do it because it's easier to get information when you're alone.

Wolfie: Yeah, I remember your story, I've read it. Ichigo is a little Ooc but it's your story so it doesn't matter. When will you update again?

One more think, why do you wear a collar? You are gorgous!

Halibel: My fraccion are a little jittery around it because it looks like I'm permanently jeering at everybody and that doesn't fit my nature. Thanks for the compliment but I think that it only is valid when I'm in released form.

Wolfie: Besides, the collar gives her a really mysterious look. I mean come on everybody, surely when you saw her for the first time your first thought was, "What's under the collar?" Don't lie, that's what I thought. Next is my honored reviewer's return. The stage is yours Aoi-Mizu!

Aoi-Mizu: Oh god! I can finally write a review! This whole freakin chapter was hilarious! Thanks for using the Gin idea. I always wondered why his smile was so wide. It's creepy.

Halibel and Wolfie: We agree. It's just not natural.

Sorry Stark and Lilynette! I like you guys too!! Please don't hunt me down!

Stark: Why would I do that? It's too much trouble and I'm tired. Let Lilynette do it.

Lilynette: stomps on Stark's foot Shut up, it was only a comment. If we harmed Wolfie's guest of honor then she would not be happy and probably send us back where we came from.

Wolfie: Hey, I'm not that evil, you know.

Halibel: Anyone who likes Aaroniero is not right in their minds.

Wolfie: I already explained that. I just like the sound of his name.

I have a good dare for anyone.
Pretend your a Chinese Takeout place and call someone askin if they would like to place and order!
I would suggest calling Yamamoto, Byakuya Kuchiki or Ulqiorra. That would be hilarious.

Stark: You take this one Halibel, we'll do the others..

Lilynette: I vote you do Byakuya, I already did that loads of times with Ulquiorra but he's no fun.

Halibel: Fine, gimme your phone Wolfie.

Halibel dials a number

Byakuya: Yes, who is it?

Halibel: Hello sir, this is Kung fu kitchen, would you like to place an order?

Byakuya: No, begone with you.

Halibel: Don't be like that sir. We serve really delicious food, how about some Sushi?

Byakuya: Did you not hear me woman? Begone before I send Senbonzakura through the line and destroy all evidence you have of my number.

Halibel: Senbonzakura? I'm sorry sir, we don't serve that. Would you like some Chop Suey instead, there's a bargain if you order for three. Perhaps you and some relatives like your sister and her husband could eat together sir?

Byakuya: Kurosaki Ichigo, is this your way of telling me that you've proposed to Rukia. Bankai, Scatter Senbonzakura Kageyoshi!

Wolfie: I think that would be your cue to end the phone call before petals come through the window.

Lilynette rolls on the floor laughing

Stark: What the hell Halibel? I didn't know that you were so good at prank phone calls.

Halibel: Years of listening to Apache, Mila-Rose and Sun-sun prank calling Tesla and Barragan's fraccion.

Wolfie: You really should teach me what you know…I pity Ichigo, Byakuya's going to kill him when he see him again.

Halibel: You're right, maybe we should warn him. Dials another number. Is it Kurosaki Ichigo?

Ichigo: Yeah, who is that? And make it fast, I'm battling Aizen here you know.

Halibel: Good luck with that, by the way. Kuchiki Byakuya is on his way to kill you so I suggest that you run as fast as possible.

Ichigo: What the hell? Renji is that you, stop trying to prank call me. This is no joke.

Phone gets destroyed by Kyoka Suigetsu

Halibel: Oh well, at least he can't say that I didn't warn him.

Wolfie: On to the next dare then.

And another one.
Go up to Komamura(He's awesome too!) and pet him on the head and say "Good Doggie".

Wolfie: I agree, before I knew about Halibel, Komamura and Tatsuki were my favourite characters.

Lilynette: I'll do this dare, I'm good with wolves and nobody would harm a kid right?

Stark: I wouldn't be so sure.

Lilynette goes to fake Karakura and stands in front of Komamura.

Lilynette: Pats Komamura's head. Good doggie. Runs back as fast as she can.

Komamura: What the hell was that?

Tousen: That's was the sight of true justice, here I come Komamura. Prepare to meet your justice.

Komamura: We're not playing "I spy "here. You've completely missed the path of justice. It's another colour.

Back to Wolfie and Halibel

Lilynette: That was fun, Guess what, he's fighting Tousen.


Stark: You must be joking, Tousen's a pansy. All he can do is play "I spy"

Wolfie: I agree, but we're moving on.

Also, go up to Soi Fon and tell her Yoruichi hates her.

Stark: I'll do this one since I'm the fastest.

Stark goes to Fake Karakura and goes to Soifon.

Stark: Hey Soifon, guess what! Yoroichi hates your guts.

Soifon: censored censored censored censored *$&*%ing Bastard. Bankai! Jakuho Raikoben, your ass is mine!

Stark uses his teleport sonido and returns

Stark: That was the most dangerous thing I've done in my life. None of you would have survived that.

Halibel: Excluding Inoue's food, Unohana's smile and Gin's glare?

Stark: Yeah, excluding them.

Take your pick! Wow, this is my longest review... *_*

Great job!

Wolfie: Don't worry, I like long reviews. It makes me feel appreciated when everybody goes to the trouble of writing such long reviews with their precious time. My other story's reviews are just about a sentence long. Sad.

Lilynette: Yeah crybaby, stop moaning and improve, you get lots of reviews for this story so why are you complaining?

Stark: You have no tact Lilynette.

Halibel: Yeah, besides, this may not be a proper story but it's much funnier so cheer up.

Wolfie: Now for the last reviewer of the day, it seems that Dareth has an interesting story to tell us.

Dareth: Wow...I actually expected Lilynette to do all the talking and for Stark to fall asleep...guess dying can get you energized (or is that adrenaline from the his recent fight?)...anyways...

Stark: I wish, there's a really great bed in Wolfie's room but Lilynette keeps stomping on my foot whenever I try to sleep. So I'm not pushing my luck since she might do something worse…………..zzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZ

Lilynette: Kicks Stark between the legs.

Stark: SHIT Lilynette that hurt!!!!

Lilynette: Told ya to stop dozing off, that was only half my power. Next time I'll cero your balls.

Halibel: Lilynette, mind your language, we have readers.

You should defiantly bring Yachiru next time...just make sure she isn't left unsupervised even for a milisecond.

Wolfie: Interesting. I will, I already have an interesting combination in mind.

Lilynette: Great, another kid, it will be fun!

Stark: No way, double the youth, double the trouble.

Halibel: Stark, you'll have to keep your wits about you. I'll watch Yachiru so you watch Lilynette.

Stark: Agreed.

I remember a time when Zaraki went to a captains meeting and she was left to her own devices for 37 minutes...

Stark: If she's anything like Lilynette then that was a horrible mistake.

Wolfie: She is.

Kenpachi Zaraki was not what you would call a deep thinker. It wasn't that he was dumb; quite the opposite. His tactical skill alone marked him as being of above-average intelligence. He just didn't like thinking, much preferring to slam headlong into whatever life happened to throw at him. However, even he appreciated the fact that sometimes, in some things, you were supposed to at least think a LITTLE BIT before you rushed ahead and did it. Not fighting, of course, but SOME things.

Halibel: Actually you have to think during fights too to analyze opponents' weaknesses.

Stark: Some things? Like what.

Lilynette: Moron, all you think about is how long you will get to sleep.

Stark: You wake me up before I get the chance to do that.

Unfortunately, he'd apparently failed to instill even that tiny, insignificant bit of restraint in his subordinates.

Halibel: Oh dear.

Wolfie: Why do I get the feeling that they're going to burn the place down or something like that.

"Well, guys. I'd really love to know exactly what happened here." Zaraki said, staring at the raging fire that was currently consuming the 11th Division barracks at an alarming pace. Standing with him were his three primary aides, Vice-Captain Yachiru Kusajishi, 3rd Seat Ikkaku Madarame, and 5th Seat Yumichika Ayasegawa. Sometimes, Zaraki wondered why his 5th Seat was apparently more powerful and respected than his 4th Seat, but knowing Ayasegawa it probably had something to do with the attractiveness of the various numbers, which meant Zaraki really didn't want to know the details. "So talk. I KNOW one of you three was responsible for this."

"How do you know it was us?" Ikkaku protested.

"Because it's ALWAYS you three. Everyone else in the division is too afraid of me to do something this stupid."

Halibel: True.

Wolfie: Hey, I was right about the fire.

Lilynette: Wow, they're almost as bad as me.

Stark: With that I can't argue, you're much worse.

"…Point. But you can't blame me for this one; I was in the training grounds. I didn't have access to fire."

Wolfie: He doesn't need access to fire, all he have to do is stand in the sun. The sun's rays will reflect from his head to a building.

Halibel: Is he bald?

Stark: According to him, he shaves his hair.

Lilynette: That's basically what makes him bald.

"Fair enough. Ayasegawa?"

The effeminate 5th seat sighed. "It IS a rather striking inferno, isn't it? I feel it really brings out my eyes…"

"… are you even listening to me?"

"Hmm? I'm sorry, were you asking me something? I just couldn't help but stare at these delightful flames. They remind me a little of my hair ornamentation." he said, gesturing to the red and yellow feathers attached to his hair and eyebrows. "Now THAT is a fashionable disaster…" Ayasegawa said, drifting off into his own little world again.

Zaraki shuddered slightly. Freak.

Halibel: I'd like to see him locked in a room with Charlotte Cuulhorne.

Lilynette: Oh the horror, they'd argue for hours.

Ikkaku turned to his friend. "Yumichika, you do realize that all of your clothing and makeup was in there, right?"

THAT got the 5th seat's undivided attention.

"! DAMN YOU, FLAMES! OH, THE CRUEL WHIMS OF FATE MAKE THEIR TWISTED ATTEMPTS TO STRIP ME OF MY BEAUTY YET AGAIN! ARE YOU THAT JEALOUS, GOD?" Ayasegawa screamed, falling to his knees and shaking his fist at the cheerily burning building.

Halibel: Good thing Barragan didn't hear that.

Stark: Or Cuulhorne.

"It'll be okay, peacock-head." Yachiru said consolingly, patting him on the shoulder. "I'm sure you'll find a way to be just as girly and weird without all that stuff!"

"AHEM!" Zaraki cleared his throat, casting his imposing glare at his young charge, who met him with a cheery grin as always. "Yachiru… third times the charm. What did you do?"

The small, pink-haired girl scratched her head thoughtfully, as though considering exactly what to say in this situation. She remained that way for several seconds as she pondered, then looked up at her captain and friend. "It's possible… just possible… that I maybe, MAYBE, was trying to bake a giant, 7,0 pound chocolate cake for myself, and while I was doing it, I got bored and ran off to play and possibly left the fires in the oven burning. Maybe."

"… Maybe."

Wolfie, Lilynette, Stark and Halibel: Maybe…my ass.

"It's a theory. And in an unrelated note, I learned that smothering a fire with towels only works if you cover the WHOLE fire. Otherwise, it just makes the towel burn." Yachiru said knowingly.

...yep...not even for a milisecond...

Wolfie: I see your point. I'm starting to have second thoughts about having her over.

Halibel: That must have been a fire to make Yamamoto red with envy.

Also I have to wonder what would be so bad about getting locked in a room with Halibel's fraccione?

Halibel: Have you not heard those three fight?

Lilynette: Yeah, it's so bad that they even drive me insane.

Stark: And that's saying something.

Note:...Halibel...yep, still pretty!

Halibel: Thank you, at least my hierro still keeps me pretty.

Wolfie: Well, that's it for this chappie so…

Lilynette: Bedtime story!

Wolfie: pulls out 101 ways to murder Aizen. By the way, did anyone notice that I missed chapter three?

Stark: Really, you'll just have to go back.

Wolfie: Yeah, I didn't have one the first chapter so I accidently skipped chapter three of the book. I can't believe no-one noticed that.

(Aoi-mizu, I like your idea but I'll do that next chapter. I just want to try something else first otherwise I'll forget it. Ok?)

Chapter3- Play "I spy" with Aizen and Tousen

Halibel: So that's two birds with one stone?

Stark: But how's that going to kill them?

Lilynette: Piece of cake. Take something that doesn't exist at all and use the first letter instead of a colour. They'll never be able to guess it but will both be too proud to admit that they give up.

Halibel: So they'll be guessing forever? Not bad.

Stark: Yeah, Aizen's ego is too big for him to admit that he lose.

Wolfie: Lilynette: You really have experience with pranks, we should make it a habit to play at least one prank for each chapter.

Lilynette: That's a great idea.

Stark: Oh boy, this is so not going to end well.

Halibel: I spy with my little eye something that starts with an "a".

Lilynette: Arrancar?

Halibel: Nope, it's even more dangerous.

Stark: Apple?

Lilynette: How is an apple dangerous?

Stark: Haven't you heard the saying, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. So it must be something really dangerous if it can kill someone who can cure any injury or illness.

Lilynette: Makes sense, is that it Halibel?

Halibel: No moron, there isn't an apple in the room.

Wolfie: Would that be anthropomorphic canine?

Halibel: Yes.

Lilynette: Where?

Halibel: Behind you.

Komamura: Why on earth would you pat my head!!! …would you do that again please?

But everyone had already passed out from shock

Komamura: That's a pity, uses I'll have to come back later, …please review. I'm just saying that in case they don't wake up.

Komamura leaves

Wolfie: What on earth was that, I wish Komamura wouldn't just pop up like that.

Lilynette: Yeah, I think we should end the chapter till we recover from our shock.

Halibel: Agreed

Stark: snore

Lilynette: uses cero

Stark: OWW!!!!!! They burn.

Wolfie: So that's it for this chapter.

Halibel: Aren't you forgetting something.

Wolfie: Oh yeah, the guests for next chapter are Barragan and Yachiru.

Halibel: that's an odd combination.

Wolfie: Yeah, I was already planning to invite Barragan but when Dareth suggested Yachiru, I thought that It'd be funny to put them together. Well Sayanora till next time.

Ok, please keep the reviews and suggestions coming. I hope I'm living up to your expetations. Barragan and Yachiru are guests next time so please include something for them too. Don't get me wrong, I hate Barragan but I want to go through all of the espada. Today I wrote Afrikaans (That's my home language) exam. Tomorrow I'm writing English, comprehension and language so I've really got to watch my grammar. Fortunately I do very well at school so it shouldn't be a problem.

Ultrawolfie out