Dumbledore, Bruce, Alfred, and Clark Kent all sat at the dark ebony table, sipping the bottles Dumbledore had apparently thought to bring with him for this very purpose.
"So, Superman, you may be wondering what caused Mr. Wayne and I to become so... carnally linked."
"It all started this morning." Bruce explained. "I was at the grocery store, perusing the vegetable aisle for something I could fit in my anus, when suddenly I bumped into Albus."
"The sight of an old man with a long beard and robes in Gotham was one thing," said Bruce. "...But then I offered something else to fit in his anus," finished Dumbledore brightly.
"But, what about Robin?" Superman asked.
"I knew he was going to cockblock me, so I told him to go find Batgirl and see if she needed anything."
"I see," said Superman. "So, that thing where you were doing, where you put his thing in your thing-" he pushed his two index fingers togetherm apparently attempting to mime the act of frottage- "what is that?" After a lengthy lecture and numerous diagrams, Superman spoke. "Ohh, I think I get it now." He paused, and turned to his friend. "Hey, can I try it with you, Bruce?"
Bruce paused for a moment, then began to reply. "Well..." Batman discreetly made a gesture to the wizard, indicating the disappointing size of Superman's member. Dumbledore nodded sagely, and then made an almost imperceptible flick of his wand. Instantaneously, mild mannered Clark Kent's pitiful dong turned from a shrunken sausage to a hulking scepter of meat.
"I think we can work something out." said Bruce, glancing at Supes' newly-engorged weiner. He grasped the Kryptonian cock, causing sensations Clark had not felt in a long time.
"I can't wait to post about this on the blo-bl-blo-OH MY!-blog," said Superman as his dong was massaged by the Batman. Albus slunk towards Clark, and slowly peeled off his spandex undies, giving Bruce much better access to the surprisingly humanoid alien genitals.
Bruce whipped out his own ding-a-ling and rubbed it up and down Clark's.
Albus, not wanting to get in between the two friends (yet), turned to Alfred. "Round two?" he asked as he dropped his robes to the floor, exposing his immensely hairy body.
Dumbledore drew his wand out from a fold in his skin, wrinkled as a particularly wrinkly elephant, and pointed it at the shriveled beans of nipples on his chest. They turned into two more dicks. Alfred paused, intimidated by Dumbledore's three appendages. He considered not going through with it, but Albus forced his hand. A flick of the wizard's wand caused Alfred's suit to burst off of him, exposing his body, which is just as wrinkly as Dumbledore's.
On each of Dumbledore's penii a man bounced. Across the nipples, Batman and Superman docked their dongs as their prostates were poked by the esteemed magician's ancillary sex organs. Alfred dropped to his knees and began to fellate Albus, who stroked the butler's own appendage with his hairy, unwashed foot.
As the liver-spot-pocked butler licked up and down Dumbledore's magnificently ancient shaft, he began to feel ill. He started vomiting- but not ordinary vomit, not stomach acid or phlegm or any fluid ordinary to that biological device- but frog's eggs, which rapidly grew and hatched, covering the meeting table with croaking toads.
"Oh no," groaned Albus. "I think my wand's stuck in my ass and we're accidentally casting spells with it with the gyrations of our beautiful sex-music."
After Dumbledore butt-conjured both a dwarf orgy that evoked mysterious feelings of nostalgia and a curiously shaped, floating vibrator, he decided that he'd had enough. He motioned towards one of the toads, who promptly shoved himself up Dumbledore's asshole in search of the wand.
The amphibian soon reappeared to deliver the magical instrument, and prepared to hop onto the table. Dumbledore then gestured again to the toad, who understood immediately. The creature dropped Albus's wand into his hand, and then climbed back up into the wizard's anal cavity to provide pleasure in lieu of the wooden tool.
Meanwhile, Superman moaned in ectasy. "Mmmmmnnghghgh, I bet Jimmy Olsen would love this...!"
Bruce's cock twitched, considering going flaccid, but Bruce attempted to salvage the situation instead. "Shh..." he whispered, and began to messily kiss Clark, rubbing their stubble together.
Superman responded by rubbing back- rubbing with all the force an alien with heightened abilities of everything could muster. A small fire started from the friction. "It looks like things are getting too HOT," laughed Alfred before he looked out the window to see the Bat-Signal projected onto a cloud.
"Oh dear," groaned Dumbledore, out of both ecstacy and disappointment, "should you go get that?"
"Hnngh, don't worry about it. I'm sure, ughh, Robin will take care of it," Bruce replied, adequately confident in his young ward's skills.
"Let's hope so, Master WaynENEAAUAUGUHAHGHAGAHAGAHAGAH!" said Alfred, suddenly gripped by the mighty hand of orgasmic pleasure.