"Well, I've tied up Robin and Batgirl," said the Penguin. "Usually this is the part where Batman tries to kill me, and then I try to kill him, and it all goes to shit."

"Oh, Batman," Batgirl whined, "You have to save us!"

"No, no I got it! Just- Just give me a second!" barked the Boy Wonder, fiddling with his tool belt.

Out he drew a tiny smoke grenade and a pair of children's safety scissors. "I'll drop the grenade for cover and cut the clingfilm so we can escape!"

He dropped the grenade and the room filled, rapidly, with thick, murky smoke.

"Oh Jesus!" the Penguin hacked out between coughs, "What the hell did you do?"

From somewhere in the smog there was the sound of Robin struggling with the scissors and the clingfilm. "Yes! I'm gonna- gnh- save the day!" From elsewhere in the smog there was the wet sound of several men fucking in a row.

"I think- I think I've got it!"

A ripping noise reverberated through the room, causing the man train to stop. The smoke slowly dissipated to reveal Robin had torn through Batgirl's cape and cut off his shirt.

His stomach, bare and lean, gleamed with sweat, which slowly moved down his chest and into the tiny dents that marked where his ribs were- Robin was a skinny young man. Elsewhere, Dumbledore led the fucktrain between the Penguin and his captives to propose a solution.

"Well, we've got all we need for a good time. We've got handsome men and cling film. I feel that the best way to settle this is with some good ol' meat magic." He pointed his wand at the Penguin, whose clothes were suddenly replaced with sparse leather straps, at the men behind him, who unstuck from each others' anuses (still entirely erect), and at his own turgid member, which grew an extra few inches in length and girth.

"Holy shit!" squawked the newly leathered Penguin, "I'm not- I'm not fucking gay!" The supervillain wasn't fooling anyone.

"Don't deny it," murmured Bruce as he approached his enemy. The Penguin tried to resist as Bruce ran his hands over the fetish gear.

Meanwhile, Batgirl remained silent, transfixed by the sight of Dumbledore's ancient wizard penis. Robin, on the other hand, was still fiddling with the clingfilm and only managing to tear more of his clothes off.

Finally, the Penguin gave up and allowed for his primal urges to win over him. "Batman! I want you inside me." He turned and presented his anus, held open by his hands. Bruce grinned.

Superman approached the Boy Wonder, now covered more in clingfilm than in clothing. "Want some help, pal?"

"Oh, please, thanks!" cried Robin. Superman tore open the clingfilm with his erect, Kryptonian dong, and then he and Robin stumbled into a sweaty heap.

Without a muscular, naked hero to catch her, Batgirl landed nearby on the cold floor. Dumbledore looked from Batgirl, to the group, and back again. He shrugged, strutted over to the female, and picked her up off the ground.

"Are you alright?" the wizard asked.

Batgirl looked up longingly at the wrinkled, hairy face that towered over her. "I-I'm fine."

Batgirl's eyes caught the massive, wrinkled bratwurst that hung below the bearded face, with two pendulous testicles hanging behind it, dwarfed by the elephantine shaft.

"If you'd like a lick," offered Dumbledore, "have at it."

Batgirl hesitated momentarily before pressing her face against the wizard's alabaster pubes and sniffing his paleolithic musk. She pulled away from Dumbledore's thick man-rug and stared at the turgid, liver-spotted member that stood before her. Slowly, Batgirl stuck her tongue out and dragged it against the wizard's throbbing mast.

Elsewhere, Alfred approached Bruce- who was currently balls-deep in Penguin ass- and decided to see if his pecker could fit in the avian anus as well. The Penguin made a funny little sound as the second member entered him, a sound not unlike a balloon being squeaked loudly.

"AHNGH! A-Alfred, you bastard!" Penguin wailed, trying desperately to hide the fact that this was his exact fetish. Batman swatted the Penguin's burger phone to the ground. The villain tried to complain about his damaged telephone, but his cries were cut short by the sensation of being slammed onto the table where the phone once sat.

Somewhere along the way, a naked foot in the throes of lust pressed the buttons on the phone and set off its speed-dial. As the Penguin moaned in ecstasy, as Batgirl polished the wizened old wizard's staff, and as Superman and Robin wrestled passionately, the phone rang.

On the other end, a purple-gloved hand picked it up.

The glove's owner spoke. "I thought I told you not to call me at this hour, Penguin. Penguin? Penguin, is that you? What is that... noise?" The voice paused, groaned and slammed the receiver.

"Nehhhh. He's probably got himself in trouble with Batman again." The Joker frowned. "I'd better help him out." He turned to the woman in the red and black nightgown on his bed. "Harley, if I'm not back in the morning, come to Arkham to help me break out again."

As the man dressed in purple approached the door, though, he was stopped- an black shape on a broomstick was tapping his window.

The man in purple turned to the window and squinted. "Oh, it's you," he sneered, and walked towards the window. Unlatching the window, he called out, "What are you doing here? I'm a bit busy."

The floating shape pushed past the flamboyantly-dressed man and hovered in the room. "Joker," he muttered, "I need a favor."

"Hrmm..." the Joker thought, "I guess the Penguin's gonna have to wait."