Oh boy, I'm not even going to bother with promises since I clearly suck at keeping them. I'm in my final year of high school and with the exams coming to an end, I suddenly got an urge to see if I can at least make a little progress to one or two of my stories so I'll see how it goes.
Wolfie: Enters the room sneezing from all the dust. Uhh… Has it really been that long? Sees three pairs of eyes glowing red in fury. Hi?
Halibel: Well, well, well… Look who finally came to visit…
Erza: Have it occurred to you that SOME of us have better things to do than wait for your next chapter?
Mirajane: Normally I'd be defending you but I'm afraid they have a point. It's been FAR too long to keep us and your readers waiting.
Wolfie: Falls on floor in an apologetic bow with head on floor. Please forgive me! I'll bake you some cake!
Halibel: Do you really think that will-
Erza: I see. Then all is in order. Good to have you back.
Halibel: …Weakwilled…
Erza: Did I hear something?
Halibel: Sighs Forget it. It's too early in the morning to fight.
Mirajane: Since it's peaceful now, without further ado, the first reviewer is Winged-Panther1
Hehe I love this story so funny
L:*drinking tea*Very
Drake:Mhm *keeps playing*
Maria:Hey I have a question for everyone, what would you do if you were transported to the world of three books: Harry Potter, Narnia, and Uglies
Halibel: If I was in the Harry Potter World I'd probably be a Beauxbatons teacher or even teach Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts. I'd like to see them defend against Cero and Resurreccion.
Wolfie: You know that position is cursed right?
Halibel: I'll curse the curse if it tries to mess with me.
Wolfie: If you say so.
Mirajane: If I was in the Narnia world I'd probably learn plenty of new Take-over spells with all the minotaurs, centaurs and other strange creatures.
Erza: It would also be interesting to fight some giants. I do not know much about the Uglies world but I would probably fall into a Pretties class from birth.
Halibel: Such modesty. I'm proud to see that you don't lack any restraint.
Erza: I'll accept that sincere compliment.
Halibel: Does sarcasm even register in your vocabulary?
Drake:My questions are, Wolfie what would you do with a time machine?, Mom are you against PETA?, Erza would you take over a shortcake bakery with force the declare yourself queen of cakes?, and Mirajane who is your favorite actor?
Wolfie: I'd either go back in time to see real life dinosaurs because I've always been fascinated by them, or I'd go about five hundred to thousand years into the future to see what has changed by then and maybe "borrow" a little new technology. Maybe I'll even see real aliens.
Halibel: Of course not. Animals should always be treated with respect. If people want to make sure that their products aren't harmful to others then they can go test it on themselves.
Erza: Would I? I'm afraid you're a little behind. I've already done it numerous times all over the country of Fiore. It's one of my hobbies.
Mrajane: Sadly, that's no joke. If you mean actor in Wolfie's world then it would maybe be Robert Downey Jr. He seems like an interesting actor, or Johnny Depp. His transformations through films are so well done.
Dares:
I dare Wolfie to play chess against the Greek Goddess Athena
Wolfie: …I'm going to lose so fast it's not even funny but I can try.
A portal opens and the Greek Goddess of Wisdom and Battle strategy comes through it. A chess board appears and hovers between them. Wolfie picks up the first pawn and makes her move. Athena immediately responds with her own move and…
Athena: Checkmate.
Wolfie: What the… It's not even possible to win in two moves!
Athena: Maybe for mortals but Gods play on an entirely different level. Good game and better luck next time. Vanishes
Wolfie: Do say hi to Annabeth would you- Oh she's already gone. Good game my ass. I only got to move one piece.
I dare Halibel to listen to Nnoitra speeches on why men are better than women without any earplugs, or devices that can stop your hearing what soever and you have to give him all your attention.
Halibel: That's funny. What's your real dare?
Mirajane: I'm afraid that's it. You'll just have to go through with it. How bad can he be?
Portal opens with Nnoitra falling through.
Nnoitra: Tch, what's with all the whores here. Stand aside and let a man handle business. You can't do a thing better than the stronger people…
Halibel: Eyebrow twitches in irritation while fingers start leaning towards Tiburon.
Nnoitra: Hah, is the widdle giwl going to thwow a hissy fit? Maybe I should make you aware of what men can d- Gets hit by a massive blast of magic from Erza and Mirajane with Erza in her Purgatory armor and Mirajane in Satan soul: Sitri.
Erza: Care to elaborate? I have over a thousand blades in my collection that will make Mira's Evil Explosion seem like a little bee sting.
Nnoitra: Hah bitch. With my tough skin your little knives won't do squat to me! Is immediately pierced by fifteen blades, many in uncomfortable locations.
For Erza and Mirajane I dare you both to piss off Stark and Ichigo and lead them both into a rabid fangirl convention, without getting one scratch.
Mirajane: Looks at a picture of the targets. These guys are pretty cute!
Halibel: Keep your hands to yourself!
Mirajane: Fufufu… which one has captured your heart I wonder. Oh well, it doesn't matter. Matchmaker mode: Activate!
Erza: Come now Mira, as if anyone would want that hag. Let's go. Leaves behind a fuming Halibel.
Wolfie: I get the feeling you're on your last nerve and Erza is stomping all over it.
Halibel: She leaves when this chapter is over!
Wolfie: As you wish I suppose, but who'll be in their place?
Halibel: We can figure that out later.
Erza and Mirajane returns through a portal with the sound of both male and female shrieking following them.
Erza: Mission accomplished, the punk was easy but Mira had quite the conversation with the sleepy guy before she finally grabbed his pillow.
Halibel: "Quite a conversation…?" What did you…?
Mirajane: Nothing in particular. Why would it bother you? Giggles.
For Everyone I dare you all to play Gaara of the funk(naruto abridged) in DDR
Wolfie: Sighs I've been fearing this day. He's one of my most respected people, I just can't visualize him like that.
A large screen appears with an extremely strange parody of Gaara playing.
Erza: You people do these things… for fun? I like it. Changes into her Goth Loly outfit. What's life without a little finicky?
Mirajane: Oh Erza… so immodest.
Erza: That's rich, coming from the model.
Wolfie: allow me to call up the next reviewer, BlackDragon Immartol.
Mirajane: Shudders. That name reminds me of the Black Dragon of the Apocalypse, Acnologia…
Wolfie I am glad that your towns doesn't have severe injuries. Good LUCK with your exams. I have a big exam also but it is for a career planning.
Wolfie: We have a lot of danger with crime but otherwise it's pretty safe. I'm already on my first exams of the final year and luckily my career prospects is already on track you could say.
Lady Halibel I am glad that you enjoyed the race. I see that Erza is bully without his friend. 40 chapters are long for a story but that is what makes them very good to read. - BlackDragon Immartol
Erza: Who are you calling a bully?
Mirajane: Now now Erza, have you been getting into trouble when I was gone?
Erza: It's their imagination.
Wolfie: After this is May Yuki, back for more.
I was waiting for them to fight...:P Did you know they're doing a Fairy Tail English Dub now? I'm still waiting for FUNimation to upload Episode 5 because it has Erza :D
Wolfie: I tend to avoid English dubs because after the original Japanese, the names of attacks just sound strange.
May: ...They were presents for you, Halibel, and Erza.
For Wolfie: Tickets to California to visit me XD
Wolfie: Who's going to the beach dances me! I'm on holiday in two days.
Halibel: Tickets to Seaworld/Akane Resort; her pick
Halibel: I might try Akane Resort. I've heard good things about it from Mira and the place even kidnapped Erza from what I hear, putting it in my good books.
Erza: It's a long story…
Erza: Strawberry cake, strawberry cake, or a Jellal doll
Erza: Are you insinuating something? Of course I'll take the cake. Whispers Jellal doll please.
Mirajane: ...A certain redhead sitting behind me suggested a Fried doll for her.
Mirajane: Could you be hinting at something I wonder?
Wolfie: These days I'm wondering about you… I like seeing you with Fried more but you interact with Laxus more often…
Mirajane: You're seeing things.
Halibel: Looks like the matchmaker is getting a taste of her own medicine.
I can believe we have to wait for ONE MORE YEAR before "Mark of Athena" comes out *sobs*
Wolfie: Wow, it's really been a while huh… Mark of Athena was great and now I'm already waiting on the edge of my seat for House of Hades.
May: Does the fact that Raven has emoticlones scare you or something? And to answer your question Halibel, no one has checked them out for QUITE a while, so she gave up on it. If people start asking her for it (excluding her friend) MAYBE she'll re-update. Besides, she's busy working on Shinigami Titans.
Lefty: Since it's my most popular story!
May: Yeah, yeah, you reached the 30-review mark. Oh and Lefty is thinking about NOT getting Halibel killed by Aizen...But that is going to be a LONG wait since this girl doesn't want to work.
Lefy: Hey, I want to go rally with people!
May: Uh-huh. Oh and good to know the story doesn't suck right off the bat. ...Alright fine, Lefty, you can do it.
Lefty: YES! Ok...*looks around* IF YOU KNOW WHO DOES THIS, PLEASE DON'T TELL HER! NOR KILL ME IF YOU ARE HER!
TOTEM! *runs*
May: ...Uh, bye Wolfie-san. I have to go keep an eye out for that person...in case she goes find Lefty to...get revenge or something
Wolfie: What the-? I didn't follow the last part I'm afraid… But good luck on the story!
May: Conceited, Lefty. Anyways...tell Wolfie-sama the news.
Lefty: I've started a Bleach story. It's after the whole Fullbring fiasco where May becomes a Shinigami because Aizen's escaped from Soul Society, with the help from Arturo Plateado. And Halibel and her Fraccion are in the story, they're residing in Las Noches.
May: Advice, once she introduces my Zanpakuto, you guys better not get on my bad side. I will kill you with it...*glares*
Lefty: ...Yes...she'll hurt even my friends
May: I still never got the chance because of that...Valentine's Day incident *twitch*
Lefty: Gee, thanks for reminding me, Scarlet...I'll go to my room and mope now...
May: -_-"
Wolfie: It's been a while since I've read any Bleach after the anime ended. Wish it would continue…
Halibel: Heh I look forward to seeing your zanpakuto's ability.
Mirajane: "Valentine's day incident"? Date gone wrong?
Wolfie: Next is yukicrewger2.
I have the sudden urge to put Yoruichi and Grimmjow in a locked room with a bunch of catnip and see how many kittens they can make...
Mirajane: That idea sounds frightening and adorable at the same time…
Sorry Wolfie for any injuries you may have sustained from my dare.
On a side note, I've noticed in Naruto/Bleach crossovers when Naruto becomes a Hollow and then an Arrancar, he is usually paired with Tia. Is it just an animal thing? or would you fall for the Fox and the Wolf in general? (kinky!)
Halibel: It's not like that! I can't help liki- being associated with Starrk and I happen to be the hottest woman in Hueco Mundo so I can't help being liked by others.
Wolfie: And next is AMASTA10.
Welcome back to fanfiction, Ultrawolfie! I was waiting for an update, it's sad that it only has 6 more chapters. Lady Halibel, Swedish fish are candy. First, I would like to ask Ultrawolfie, do you have a favorite Jitsu from Naruto? Mine is the Shadow clone, because I would send it to school in my place so I can sleep.
Wolfie: That's a hard one… I'd say Kuchiyose no Jutsu. I'd love to summon animals at will.
Next, for all people present: what is you favorite song/genre of music?
Wolfie: I don't listen to music but I like songs with good rhythm occasionally.
Halibel: I'm not picky, anything with a good tune and good lyrics.
Mirajane: I prefer country music, it's quite peaceful.
Erza: I have a fondness for the classics of Rock and Roll.
Before I conclude with the last question, I would like to introduce my Shinigami/Arrancar counterpart: Katsumi Osamu.
Katsumi: Hello everyone. You are probably wondering what AMASTA10 means by Shinigami/Arrancar counterpart (AMASTA10: No they don't!). He has written a story on this site where I am killed by my Zanpakto (AMASTA10: It's wolf based.) and become an Arrancar with no memories. He hasn't updated it for awhile. I mention this because it leads me to a question for Halibel: What would you do if you knew one of your commrades was a former Shinigami, besides the three that took over?
Halibel: I'd probably be reluctant to interact with with the person but if they're polite and gains my respect then I'll probably return it.
AMASTA10: I might bring Katsumi back in future reviews. Finally, I would like to ask Ultrawolfie what your favorite chapter/episode of Bleach is?
Wolfie: That's a difficult question… probably the double episode of 52 and 53 because I was amazed to see four bankai for the first time in one session so it really kept me on the edge of my chair.
'Tis all for now, later.
Wolfie: Looks like we have a new face next. Welcome poweredtoenail.
Toenail: Hello Halibel, Wolfie and company. How's life? And sorry if this review is long.
Gumi: *looks over shoulder* Whatcha' doin'?
Toenail: Trying to talk to Halibel.
Gumi: *eyes sparkle* Bleach's Halibel.
Toenail: *sweat drop* Ignore her she's an extreme closet otaku. I find it sad you're going to end this. I have a ques-
Gumi: *violently pushes Toenail off laptop* HALIBEL-SAMA *drools* Why are you so awesome?
Toenail: *wrestles laptop from Gumi* Anyways, Wolfie were you born deaf or did it happen over time?
Wolfie: I was born deaf, the sensory nerves in my ears didn't develop properly. But it was first noticed when I was already a year old.
Halibel, did you ever manage to put up with the other espada, if I were you I would have gone on a rampage by now. I envy your patience. I've also recently acquired a replica of Tiburon. I find it fun to use especially since it's only the edge. It tends to trip people out if they haven't seen it.
Halibel: After the first couple of rampages, I settled down to accepting the Espada's behavior as part of life- death I mean.
Wolfie: I also have a miniature replica of Tiburon, the pattern on the blade is blue instead of purple but I love it! Money well spent this time.
Gumi: *tackles Toenail* Hi Halibel.
Black Star: *standing on neighbor's roof* I AM A GOD!
Toenail: *eye twitch, seizes laptop* I apologize for Gumi she's not normally like this. *picks up brick* I dare Halibel to fight Black Star when he wakes up. *throws brick through window, knocking Black Star unconscious*
Tsubaki: Black Star, where are you *runs by*
Toenail: There should be a two packages at your doorstep right about now. One is from Orihime, if it's a giant muffin please destroy as soon as possible. I told her not to put mustard and rhubarb in the batter. The other is from me. It's a device Gumi built to provide Halibel with enough moisture to use her ultimate attack at will.
Wolfie: I'm not even looking inside the box. Mira, please dispose with the box with the funny smell.
Mirajane: If you say so. Goes into Satan soul mode. Soul extinction!
Black Star: *Tsubaki drops him on the floor* What happened? Why am I on the floor?
Toenail: I threw a brick at you now get ready to fight.
Black Star: Who is it?
Toenail: Tia Halibel, an espada.
Black Star: an a-whatta.
Toenail: An espada.
Black Star: What's that?
Toenail: *face palms* Instead of me explaining, just think of Halibel as a really powerful kishin.
Black Star: Doesn't matter to me. I'm going beat her anyways. Come on Tsubaki.
Tsubaki: Right. *transforms*
Halibel: Draws Tiburon. Time to test this new gadget. Jumps out of the window with Black Star.
Toenail: While they're fighting Gumi has a question for you?
Gumi: Can you still turn into a wolf? If you can I have a steak for you.
Wolfie: Aye sir! Transforms into wolf to eat.
Toenail: Wolfie , I feel sorry for daring you to do this but I dare you to volunteer yourself for Captain Kurotsuchi's research. If you you don't like that you can be Szayel-Aporro's volunteer. I hope you return the way you left. If you do it with exactly the way I dared it. You will have a dozen pizzas delivered straight to you if not Halibel and company get the pizzas and you can only watch them eat.
Halibel returns, dragging a soaking wet Black Star behind her who was mumbling something about godhood..
Halibel: What a useful device… Oho, looks like I'm getting food on top of that.
Wolfie: Sighs I'm not even sure which is the lesser of two evils…
Halibel: Don't do Szayel-Aporro. Just… don't.
Wolfie: Fine, I'll try Kurotsuchi. Maybe he's constricted by Soul Society's rules somehow… although I know that's just wishful thinking.
Wolfie leaves through portal to Soul Society.
Halibel, if Hollows go to the soul society when they are killed by Shinigami than would a Shinigami go to Hueco Mundo if they are killed by a Hollow?
Halibel: In a way… yes. Hollows tend to eat the souls of anyone they kill, even if it's a shinigami so the shinigami's soul becomes part of the hollow it was killed by.
Well one last thing before I go. *glomps Halibel and latches onto her arm*
Gumi *pulls Toenail off Halibel* I'm sorry Halibel-sama, he's not normally like this. *drags away a flailing Toenail* If I can't glomp her you can't either.
Toenail: *TTTT*
Halibel: One day I'm going to be seriously injured by these so-called glomps…
Mirajane: It seems that Wolfie is still absent so I'll announce the next person. Ice Prince Hitsugaya has the stage.
Me: Well I will definitely miss Yoruichi, she's my favorite female, tied with Harribel of course. I had actually come up with a good question for her after I posted my last review, but oh well.
Itachi: You just like tan or dark skin.
Me: You're one to talk.
Itachi: *ignores me and raises a brow to Wolfie* I wouldn't lower myself to use an axe, they're too slow and heavy. I saw that Baraggan use one and I wasn't impressed in the least. His only usefulness was his aging power. *looks to Harribel* I'm sure you'll agree. *smirks lightly as his eyes shift to Mangekyo Sharingan* Don't worry...nothing too bad will happen if you look into my eyes. You'll see all that you'll need to see once you look into them.
Halibel: It was just a figure of speech… And forgive me if eye don't take you for your word. Averts eyes.
Me: Don't be mean just because Wolfie burned you...really well at that.
Itachi: Shut up. *closes his eyes* I wasn't going to anyway...they are quite...interesting to talk to. So using a genjutsu would not be beneficial for anyone.
Me: *whispers to all of you* Which, in our language...means that he likes talking to you. But anyway...I guess I'll try and put in a dare since I couldn't think of any questions no matter how long I thought. Okay, I dare one of you (doesn't matter who) to walk up to Yachiru and tell her that all the candy and sweats in Soul Society and the World of the Living has been taken by Aizen, then just watch what happens. And if she gets as mad as I think...that could be another way to kill Aizen.
Halibel: Interesting… I believe we should save this for the end and I'll add it into the book. Scratches out current entry: "Tell the Quincy that Aizen hypnotized them into making their clothes white to coerce them into the Espada" and fills the dare in.
Itachi: I still think I can come up with the best and torturous ways to kill him. *crosses his arms and opens his eyes confidently*
Me: Yeah...we all know you're evil.
Itachi: I wouldn't say evil...just slightly cruel.
Me: *rolls my eyes* Till next time everyone. Nice chatting with you again.
Erza: Do put that mind of yours to good use. I look forward to seeing you come up with anything that would make even me shudder.
Mirajane: I suppose this leads us to the next reviewer, Captain Retsu Unohana. Lovely to meet you.
An update on me and Ulquiorra's progress, We have deposed the Spirit King. You shall all call me the Spirit Queen from now on. Ulquiorra has also made Tite Kubo his slave and is currently having him rewrite everything so he is not portrayed as emo. Nice story so far, I'd like to make more appearences *smiles and opens eyes* if not, I'll have to...release my bankai. *smiles*. Goodbye for now.
Erza: What an interesting objective, maybe I'll make it my new hobby to overthrow monarchies.
Mirajane: Hmmm… nope still emo. I'm afraid it seems to be in your blood hehe.
Halibel: More appearances? Yes ma'am! Salutes with a sweatdrop.
Wolfie falls through a portal in a heap with ruffled hair and dirty clothes.
Wolfie: Where was I? I only remember horrors… nothing ssentient or even sapient… but… nothing's changed… my body… it's still normal…?
Mirajane: This seems too good to be true… Do you have any special abilities that could have been modified?
Wolfie: Yeah, I can transform like you, see… Transforms into a wo- …..wombat?
Erza: …That thing is strangely adorable in an odd way…
Wolfie: Transforms back and tries transforming again to turn into a… chinchilla? Tries another sequence of transformations which only results in a Proboscis monkey, Tasmanian devil, dodo and duck-billed platypus. What the hell?! My transformations have gone wack? I can only turn into weird animals? Sobs in corner.
Mirajane: Goes over to pat her shoulders. There there… I'll try to help you control your transformations after the chapter.
Halibel: That's just pitiful…
Mirajane: And next is OmegaZeke. A new face I believe?
Me: Hello Wolfie-sama! Good to finally get a chance to review your story!
Me: Anywho without further ado, let's start the que-
Lara: *kicks down door* WHAT UP, SHORTIE!
Me: Stop calling me short, damn it!
Lara: Never.*looks at computer* Doing your first review, I see. About that Wolfie chick, right?
Me: Yes. Wolfie, this is Lara, my annoyance of an OC.
Lara: Screw you!
Me: She also has the temper of a child.*has a glare off with Lara*
Wease: *teleports in with Coru and Wisteria* Will you 2 please stop arguing infront of our nice guests?
Coru: Coru doesn't like when you 2 fight and neither does Wistle-kun!
Wisteria: *grunt*
Me: Fine. These 3 are also my OC's. Well Coru and Wisteria are more so my clones, plus they're my bodyguards.
Coru: We'll protect Zekey-sama till the end!
Me: Yeah. I only have one question for Wolfie. If you could have any of the Resurreccions or Zanpakutos, which one would it be? I'd personally get Zangetsu.(He's pretty calm in my eyes.)
Wolfie: Looks up with a teary face. I wonder… Nnoitra's extra arms could come in handy, but I also like Komamura's zanpakuto.
Me: I don't have any dares right now. How about you guys?
Lara: I wanna fight Halibel! That's my dare!
Me: Oh crap. Sorry about Lara, she has quite the fighting spirit. And idiocy.
Lara: I'll do what ever I want, you blue-haired midget!
Me: Why you-You know what? Do whatever you like, though I get you're will! Anywho, I should tell you a few things about Lara, in case you want to fight her too, Halibel.
Lara: No cheating and giving information, you little-!
Me: You already know stuff about her, so it only seems fair. Lara controls fire and air, she can make lightning(somehow she mixes fire and air for that), she can turn into a phoenix, she has a giant sword, and she has found a way to evaporate water(she uses the heat from her fire and enhances it with air). Be careful.
Lara: Good. Now for the fight!*opens a d.p.(dimensional portal) and goes in*
Halibel: Interesting. I'll just have to avoid using my water but I can still manipulate reiatsu with my blade so I'll handle this without resurreccion. Follows Lara.
Me: Anyone else got dares?
Everyone else: Nope!
Me: Okay, I guess that's it. Hope you have a good day! Sorry if the review was sorta long!
Mirajane: Next is Freyr 'L'Ance Ryter with some Final Fantasy characters.
Envoy: Crazy story lady.
Soren: *smirks* Got that right!
Envoy: Don't ask about my OC, you'll just get a headache.
I'll skip to my questions/dares:
1. Halibel: bitch slap the people you want to and knee them in the nuts.
Wolfie: I think she's already doing that right now in a fight… if she isn't getting slapped around herself.
Erza: She probably is.
Halibel: Returns through portal showing signs of wear and battle. I heard that!
Mirajane: So how did it go?
Halibel: Draw, she fought well but since I avoided my release I couldn't fight at full power.
2. Halibel: Cosplay as Tifa Lockhart, but in her Advent Children costume... Also your mask is off whenever you wear that costume.
Halibel: I don't like removing my mask… but fine. Looks like we have some similarities at least. Changes clothes. Not too shabby…
3... Here's Kefka!
Halibel: Not again… I thought we were done with this freak?
Kefka: It's showtime ladies and germs! I'm your host, Kefka Palazoo: cruel, insane, ruthless and powerful villian of Final Fantasy VI! Now, on to my questions! *takes out small glasses and reads a long list*
Ahem! Halibel: How's it feel to be owned by puny mortals and have your bratty girls thrashed by that one Captain? Because it gave me gas from laughing so much!
And another to the tiny, blonde minnow! How's it feel to have everything you had crushed and then saved, and then crushed again? Feel the agony, hahahaha!
Sephiroth: Shut up Kefka, why are you lowering yourself to a puppet's level? *turns to Halibel* Why don't you allow me to control you instead? I could use a queen when I rule the world as the Chosen one.
If you refuse *raises Masamune* then I will rob of your will and power and make you drown in the pain... On your knees, I want you to beg for forgiveness.
Halibel: This feels like dejavu… I already know by now not to justify you two with any response.
Cloud and Lightning: Sephiroth! *steps in front of Halibel* We'll help you Halibel if you need it.
Sephiroth: Three on one? This might be entertaining. *One-Winged Angel begins playing*
Halibel: We even get a theme song?
Erza: It's quite a catchy one. The last reviewer seems to be WhoAmIAgain.
For Halibel:
You are simply AWESOME!
I dare you to kiss Starrk on the either his cheek or forehead.
Halibel: Wha..? That's quite… forward.
Mirajane: Lovely, this sets the stage quite well… rubs hands gleefully.
Erza: Heh, you never change do you, Mira?
Halibel: I suppose… he'd be asleep anyway.
Halibel goes through a portal to Starrk's room in Hueco Mundo. The sleeping man was on a heap of pillows. Halibel quietly moves closer, leans forward and puts a kiss on Starrk's forehead (a real one since her hollow mask is away while cosplaying). She stands up again and retreats through the portal, unaware of Starrk's faint smile and lack of snoring.
Have you ever seen Jaws?
Halibel: Yes, after many earlier references, Wolfie showed it to me. It is slightly unrealistic since I wouldn't be so weak as to explode while hunting prey. They'd never get the better of me.
Are you and Starrk an "item"?
Halibel: Of course not. Why does everyone keep getting that idea?
Mirajane: I bet he would beg to differ.
Are you ticklish? if so how ticklish are you & where are your ticklish spots?
Halibel: No… I'm not.
Wolfie: In this story you tell the truth and nothing but the truth.
Halibel: Fine… I'm slightly ticklish around the waist.
For Wolfie:
This is the best idea ever!
I dare you to steal Kisuke's hat and frame Hiyori for it.
Wolfie: Sheesh, Kisuke's so mild that I doubt he'd do anything. It'd be more effective to steal Hiyori's sandals and blame Kisuke.
Wolfie goes to the Urahara shop and snatches Kisuke's hat without looking back and hides it. Then Wolfie returns, only to find Kisuke with another hat on his head.
Wolfie: Hiyori stole your… where'd you get that hat?
Urahara: I'll show you my secret. Takes the edge of his hat and slowly lifts it. Under this hat is… Lifts hat. Another hat!
Wolfie: …the hell? How many do you have?
Urahara: Wouldn't you love to know?
Wolfie: Oh fine, I give up. But I'm keeping this hat as a souvenir. (I actually have a replica of Urahara's hat hanging on my lamp).
I dare you to ask Toshiro what he thinks Rangiku's bra size is.
(Sorry that the second dare seems perverted, but I REALLY want to know what he'll do/say)
Wolfie: Hi ho hi ho it's off to work I go… portals to the tenth squad office to find Hitsugaya cleaning the office. Good day CaptainHitsugaya, may I have a minute?
Hitsugaya: I suppose so? Stops sweeping the office floor.
Wolfie: Serious expression with a dramatic pause. What's Matsumoto's bra size? Women all over the world want to know if her claims to having a double-G size is really true and she insisted that her Captain would support her statement.
Hitsugaya: Slowly turns crimson with fury while broomstick splinters in his hand. MATSUMOTOOO! Bankai! Daiguren Hyorinmaru! The entire office bursts out in icicles with Wolfie barely escaping the range of the attack.
Wolfie: That was dangerous… I don't like pissing captains off since they have the strength to do serious harm to me, even with me authorial powers. Especially with my transformation all messed up…
Halibel: Since you're done, that brings us to 101 Ways to Murder Aizen.
Chapter 35: Tell Yachiru all the candy of both worlds were taken by Aizen.
Halibel: …Can I? Please let me!
Wolfie: Go ahead, make my day.
Halibel opens a garganta to Soul Society near the 11th division. She jumps out and tracks Yachiru down.
Yachiru: Yay Jawjaws, whatcha doing here?
Halibel: Wasn't my nickname- no, never mind. I've to tell you some grave news… It seems that every last stash of candy in both the real world and Soul Society has been stolen by Aizen and taken to Hueco Mundo.
Yachiru: But I have a pack with me. Why would Aizi-poo do something like that?
Halibel: Stealthily pickpockets the candy. How sure are you that you still have yours? Maybe it was an illusion… and the reason is that the espada need energy to fight this war. There's nothing more dangerous than the ten espada on a sugar rush… nods solemnly.
Yachiru: Pats pockets to realize that they are empty. Suddenly a ferocious aura, resembling a demon cat surrounds her, making Halibel's hair stand on end. She suddenly teleports away.
Halibel: That was… frightening… Only one more thing to do. Phones Starrk. Starrk, you and Lilynette have to evacuate right now. Code Sugar-Loaf!
Starrk: Oh dear Aizen… anything but Sugar-Loaf! Grabs Lilynette and flees to Texas through a garganta.
Halibel: Now… let the games begin. May the odds be ever in your favor my dear espada (even though I'm one of you).
To put it in three words… cataclysmic chaos ensued…. And "poor" Aizen never found out who set the sugar loaf loose since he was immediately sent to the deepest circle of hell, reserved for traitors and people with bad hair.
Wolfie, Erza and Mirajane: Sits on sun chairs with 3D glasses and popcorn.
Erza: I believe it is time for us to take our departure. Farewell Wolfie, and pass my regards to Halibel. She wasn't that bad of a person and made a fun rival.
Wolfie: I'm sure she'll tear up at that.
Mirajane: Byebye Wolfie, it's been a lot of fun here! May I recommend Natsu as a guest? He's been very restless recently…
Erza: Excellent idea!
Wolfie: I like it, maybe I should bring the main characters to the light. Very well, the next guests will be Natsu Dragneel from Fairy Tail and this tale's Kurosaki Ichigo!
To be continued…
Ok, that's a wrap. Erza and Mira are done. Natsu and Ichigo is next. The reason for Natsu's presence is that I'm much more in a Fairy Tail mood than a Bleach one hehe. Hopefully the next chapter won't take too long. I'll be working on A Big Happy Family? Too. Until next time
Ultrawolfie out!